There are no written rules for the first kiss, but there are a lot of fears and misconceptions surrounding it. Not a single book will tell you what kind of date you can kiss on so that neither partner is disappointed in each other, but let’s find out the origins of this sacrament: what a kiss is, is it so important and how to understand that “that very moment” has come.
What is a kiss to you?
All people have their own opinions about relationships with members of the opposite sex. It is influenced by circumstances, upbringing, character, worldview, as well as future intentions. Many people consider a kiss to be a sign of sympathy or gratitude, but it also symbolizes tenderness, love and trust. Some people think that kissing a man on the first date is normal, but for others, such behavior is considered a sign of promiscuity. When and with whom to show feelings in this way is a personal matter for everyone.
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There's too much in the wardrobe
It’s decided where to go on the first date. Morality has also been decided. What to wear? The million dollar question. You are frantically sorting through your wardrobe, and with a sad thought you realize that this problem is many times more serious than all the previous ones combined. Meanwhile, there is nothing to worry about! The decisive factor in choosing an outfit is where you are actually going. The era of ball gowns has long sunk into oblivion, so you can easily settle for jeans and a blouse, some kind of sundress...
Take into account whether these things suit you or not, determine how rational it is to wear them in accordance with weather conditions.
You shouldn't look too revealing, but a strict formal style would be inappropriate in an evening club. The main thing is to dress in such a way as to feel free and easy. You should like your reflection in the mirror, this will give you confidence.
Is it possible on a first date?
In the past, kissing on the lips was considered a sign of frivolity. In today's society, such manifestations of feelings are treated more loyally. There is nothing wrong with a lady allowing herself to be kissed goodbye if there is a feeling of mutual sympathy between her and the man. But when she wants to seem mysterious, you should wait until the second meeting.
Female look
Every girl is a romantic at heart, even if she doesn't talk about it. For her, the first meeting is of great importance. It depends only on the lady’s decision on what date she will kiss, whether it will be the last or whether the communication will continue. Modern youth do not attach importance to such trifles and in vain. It is from the first meeting that a girl is able to understand whether a young man is right for her and whether she wants to build a further relationship with him. If a young lady wants to give the impression of a mysterious person, then it is better to postpone such a manifestation of sympathy until next time.
Men's opinion
Guys are more relaxed in this regard.
They are always and with pleasure ready to kiss the girl they like if she gives her consent. Whether this happens at a joint evening or not is unimportant. Of course, if the lady arouses sympathy in the young man, then the pleasure from the kiss will be greater. It doesn't have to happen on a date. The main thing is that the desire to get closer and the feelings are mutual. There is even a “five date rule.” Its essence is that after the expiration of the specified period, the couple moves to a new stage of the relationship with all the accompanying manifestations of tenderness and sympathy.
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Ethics view
Guys worry less about their moral character. Women are afraid that they will be considered frivolous and accessible, so they often think about this topic.
Several hundred years ago, for such frivolity, a man could be demanded satisfaction, and the lady’s honor would be irrevocably damaged. Today everything is much simpler, but according to the rules of etiquette, such an act is still unacceptable. But few people remember this. Misconceptions on this topic:
- Only easily accessible young ladies do this. Not at all. This is the prerogative of brave, not promiscuous ladies. But you don’t need to be equal to them. Many men, while actively searching, prefer modest and shy people.
- The young man has no serious intentions. A kiss with a girl says absolutely nothing about a man's future plans. It does not interfere with strong and high feelings at all.
- The second meeting will definitely take place. Big misconception. On the first date, he does not give any guarantees of continuing the relationship. Whether the young people will meet again or not depends only on themselves.
- After a kiss there must be sex. Incorrect statement. No one owes nothing to nobody. This is just idle speculation. He will not demand intimacy just because she allowed herself to be kissed.
Having dealt with these misconceptions, you can understand that everyone must decide for themselves on what date it is acceptable to kiss their partner.
Meeting No. 4_4
The couple's fourth meeting marks the beginning of their romantic relationship. You can easily choose a secluded place for her, however, it is still advisable to refuse to use the personal territory of a man or woman. Imagine a romantic dinner on the roof of a high-rise building or order a table separated by a partition in a cozy cafe. On this date, flowers and small but sweet gifts are completely appropriate. It is the fourth date that is considered optimal for “adult” kisses.
True, guys should still restrain themselves somewhat and not allow persistent and overly sexual “kisses.” At this stage there is still a place for modest loving tenderness.
Ideal time for a kiss
Kissing in front of witnesses is not a good idea, it is too intimate a moment. The right time will be to say goodbye. When she delays breaking up, this may mean that she is waiting for a bold step from the guy. If the lady quickly says goodbye, it means it’s too early for such a manifestation of warm feelings.
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You should kiss a guy on the first date when both partners are ready for it. You just need to trust the calls of your heart and the hints of fate. It happens that it is very difficult to resist, but in order not to rush things, it is better to wait until the moment when the couple gets to know each other better.
Attractive view
To a greater extent, this point applies to couples who met on the Internet. There they had to navigate by photographs, which were often far from life. And if on the first date, due to very strong emotions and experiences, it would still be possible to miss some flaws in the girl’s appearance, then on the second date the guys expect to get the full picture and understand whether the girl is really attractive. In other words, every man wants the girl to be as beautiful on the second date as in her photograph or as on the first date.
Why doesn't a guy kiss on the first date?
Although young people are not at all against showing sympathy for a girl in this way, some of them are in no hurry to do so.
Possible reasons:
- Wants to build a serious relationship in the future.
- Excessive shyness, fear of seeming intrusive.
- The passion of the hunter - the guy is trying to arouse the interest of the lady.
- He just doesn’t want to do it or doesn’t feel the girl’s interest.
- Sick (flu, cold).
Leisure
This is exactly the form of a second date that some men expect to get, especially if they are used to playing sports. If a partner accepts his offer to go hiking, to the pool or to the river during the second date, this will mean that they have common interests, which means it will be much easier to build a long-term relationship. In the end, most guys love fun and, choosing not standard cafes and cinemas, but the river bank as a place for a second meeting, a man just wants to have fun, and how this meeting goes will help to understand whether their characters are similar to those they like girl.
How to behave properly for a girl
In order to create the right impression of herself and not regret her refusal or consent, a girl must think everything over carefully. What does she expect from the young man? What concessions are you willing to make?
Understand themselves
Before going to a young man, a girl should think carefully about everything. If the purpose of the meeting is sex, then there is no point in being shy about kissing a new guy. But when a lady expects continued communication and a serious relationship, you need to be careful and think about some points:
- Will he treat her with the same respect and care as before?
- Is such a manifestation of warm feelings appropriate?
- Will he give something new for the development of relationships?
- Does the girl herself want him to kiss her?
Know common mistakes and avoid making them
Nobody wants to appear like a lady with a complex or be known as behind the times. Such behavior can scare a man away. You should also not use kissing to speed up the development of a relationship. Such tactics can lead to the opposite effect. Guys are hunters by nature, so they quickly lose interest in prey that is too easy.
However, delaying until the last minute, if the woman feels that the sympathy is mutual, is also not the best choice. It is important to find a middle ground here.
If you put off a kiss for weeks or months, a man may misunderstand the motives for such behavior and begin to perceive the lady solely as a friend.
Evaluate the situation
Whether or not you can kiss on a first date also depends on who the partner is. If this is a friend, acquaintance or colleague, then if there is mutual sympathy, it makes no sense to refuse. Under such circumstances, a kiss is quite appropriate and natural.
If young people meet for the first time, then everything depends on their impression of each other. It may turn out that the time spent together will not leave much of an impression, and the first meeting will be the last. In such a situation, you can allow a kiss on the cheek. This will not offend the person, but it will not give false hopes for continued communication.
Pay attention to the guy's behavior. If at the first meeting he is too intrusive, always tries to hug or tries to kiss, it is likely that a serious relationship is not included in his plans. In such a situation, a few tips will help:
- If such behavior is unacceptable for a woman, she must immediately fight back and set the boundaries of what is permitted.
- Try to explain to the young man why the girl is not satisfied with this behavior.
- Give a chance to rehabilitate.
- Calmly say goodbye and go home. If desired, you can offer friendship.
Decide
If a girl is satisfied with a man’s behavior on a date, he is polite and caring, and mutual attraction is felt, then there is no particular reason to refuse. Very often, the manifestation of warm feelings gives impetus to the development of closer relationships.
While the lady is not sure whether she wants this, or the young man’s intentions are not fully clear, then you can turn your cheek. This will not offend the guy, but on the contrary, it will rather provoke him. After this, he will try to woo the lady.
It is worth paying attention to several nuances when preparing for a date:
- The image and demeanor must correspond to each other. Don't try to give the impression of being modest in a short skirt and a low-cut sweater.
- Body language will allow you to hint to a man without words whether he is behaving correctly.
- Mood and impression of the guy. It depends on this whether the lady wants to repeat the kiss.
Tips for guys
The basic rule that you need to follow to achieve success is to be attentive, romantic and know when to stop. It is also worth following a few tips:
- You need to choose the place where the first kiss will take place very carefully, thinking through all the little things.
- Compliments. By choosing the right words, you will be able to melt the heart of any young lady.
- Knowing of limits. Excessive persistence will scare you.
- Don’t ask stupid questions like: “Can I?” Not a single woman will give consent; she will even really want to eat it herself.
- Sweet dessert. It is better to move on to showing sympathy in this way at the very end of the date. Then it will be clear whether the guy has a chance or whether he failed to hit his companion.
It is possible or not - everyone’s personal choice. If young people do not see anything reprehensible in a kiss, then they should not deny themselves the pleasure.
Secret signs
Although the issue of kissing is very individual, men would still like it to be a mandatory item during a second date with a girl. And what they expect to see on him are non-verbal signs, signals that the partner would give, thereby showing the man that she herself would like to kiss. Most often, the man makes the first step for a kiss, but, of course, he would be pleased to know that this is not only his desire, that the girl also thought about it and is attracted to him. This is what most men expect to see on the second date.
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