Not every person has the ability to empathize and sympathize with other people. Some individuals believe that these feelings are useless. Others are convinced that only thanks to such qualities humanity has reached the highest stage of development.
The feeling of compassion has different forms of manifestation
If you turn to psychological books, you can see the following definition of empathy: this is the ability of an individual to share the negative emotions of another. With compassion, a person not only shares feelings, but also strives to help.
Concept in Buddhism
In Buddhism, compassion refers to the desire to lose ourselves in the feelings of another person. This applies not only to negative, but also to positive aspects. Compassion in this case means full perception of someone else's pain and the desire to stop it. It is not associated with a specific person.
A simple example of compassion in Buddhism is that the pain of war victims becomes the pain of a Buddhist. He does charity work and helps victims. In this way he shows compassion.
Main points
There are several interesting theses about compassion and people who are capable of showing it. At first glance, the actions that a person performs out of mercy seem meaningless and even stupid. After all, everyone has different moral values. Some people want to become responsive and help others. And some people believe that doing good deeds without benefit for yourself is pointless.
Even in difficult situations you can become merciful. If you help a person for free at a time when it is difficult for himself, he will remember it. Such actions are valued above all else, because it can be called not only mercy, but also self-sacrifice. Often you have to lose something in order to help someone else. This could be time, physical and moral strength, money and other material values. But these sacrifices are always justified.
A great feeling can awaken in a person gratitude and a desire to do something for others. Some categories of the population deserve special sympathy:
- orphans;
- disabled people;
- war veterans;
- widows and widowers;
- homeless people and animals.
An orphan has been deprived of parental love and care since childhood. He, like no one else, needs warmth and sympathy. For some children, it’s enough just to talk to an adult, trust them with their little secrets and receive moral support. It does not matter at what age a person became disabled. He is physically limited, but continues to live, and this is worthy of respect and compassionate treatment. The main thing is not to show pity for such people, this will once again remind you of their shortcomings.
A person who survived the war years or took part in battles is himself able to sympathize with others. He saw the death of comrades and enemies, these events make it possible to understand what life is worth and how great the problem of compassion is. The need for sympathy among widows and widowers is also considerable. They lost the closest person, their entire future life is filled with grief and suffering.
Individuals without a home or relatives most often beg for alms, but they are rarely treated well. Although they deserve respect, because it is unknown for what reasons their life structure changed. Don't give them a wide berth, not respond to greetings, or refuse to help. This also applies to homeless animals; they also need compassion.
Are these feelings necessary?
Victimization - what is it in psychology
Philosophers do not have a single answer to this question. Each person has their own understanding of the boundaries of empathy. It is believed that with the help of such feelings an individual becomes kind and gentle. In schools, children in literature and Russian language classes write essays, read classics and learn to analyze everyday topics. With the help of empathy and compassion, a person determines how permissible his actions are, and whether he has done something bad towards another person.
How does it manifest itself?
Compassion is manifested in not causing suffering to others because of desires, dissatisfaction, or one's own suffering. This is the case when we are able to restrain pain or strong desires within ourselves, realizing that they can bring pain to others. A very young lover strives to put his beloved on a chain, declaring that only with him she will be better. This immature behavior is the essence of selfishness , which is contrary to compassion. A mature personality is more likely to give a person the opportunity to make a choice on his own, without playing on feelings, threatening or issuing ultimatums. Strong dependence on the outcome of an event in which violence must be used is an indication of a childish nature. Immaturity is a person who has not gained independence and is simply looking for a more profitable dependence that can bring as much pleasure as possible and as little suffering as possible.
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A person who is satisfied with himself is one who has found the source of happiness in himself. Immature people cannot do this, and at the same time, compassion gives the opportunity to draw happiness from themselves. Conscience and understanding of one’s own rightness are one of the most important conditions for inner peace. If we are able to see that our happiness rests on the suffering of others, will we look at it? No. Rather, we will close our eyes and look for various excuses in the spirit of “the end justifies the means” or “if I hadn’t caused them suffering, then others would have done it.” In the end, a person can directly admit to himself that his own well-being is more important to him than the well-being of others - and this is a sign of the inability to find happiness for himself, within himself is an indication of immaturity.
A mature person is compassionate. His inner principles and conscience stand above base impulses, impulses or desires that lead to causing suffering to others, deception, violence, manipulation and use of others for his own purposes. The possibility of refusing these actions is dictated by knowledge, the root of which is the ability to see the consequences of one’s actions. A reasonable person recognizes that happiness obtained from the suffering of others can neither satisfy nor bring happiness to oneself . Therefore, he, realizing his actions, thoughts and deeds, is able to refuse such actions without causing suffering to other living beings.
The desire for one’s own happiness, which comes from within oneself, is not selfishness, it is human nature , the real “I”, and therefore, even if it may seem that a person’s desire to find happiness in this way is just selfishness, then it is the same That it is selfish to say that a deer’s desire to drink water is contrary to logic. Finding happiness is one of the goals of human life and coming to it through knowledge and compassion is the best way to find happiness.
Compassion is shown not only by not causing harm, but also by trying to help others get rid of suffering. The example of the Good Samaritan indicates that compassion should apply to all living beings, not to mention all people. Of course, we must beware of those who seek to use kindness for their own selfish purposes, but this is not a reason to refuse everyone, much less cause suffering. To deceive is a vice, but to be deceived is atonement. This is not immediately realized, but over time the understanding comes that compassion, which gave us the opportunity not to respond to evil, gave us the opportunity to become better and mature much stronger than revenge.
Compassion can manifest itself when we see that our abilities and capabilities can reduce someone else's suffering. This does not require astronomical sums or incredible work; sometimes a word or small action is enough to show significance to another person. Saying a nice word, showing patience and sympathy, fulfilling your duties properly and not demanding the same from others are manifestations of compassion.
So, compassion manifests itself in:
- refusal to cause suffering to others
- desire to alleviate the suffering of others
- awareness of the suffering of another living being
Differences
Authority - what is it, definition
The difference between the two terms is not always clear. Sympathy is the ability to empathize with a person in difficult times. This can apply to both a familiar and an unfamiliar individual.
Compassion is a more global feeling that extends to a specific group, such as the poor
Emotional perception or empathy is also called empathy. It is important for some specialists: psychologists, teachers, doctors and others. This feeling helps to find a common language with different people.
Important! The ability to empathize is not always shown appropriately; sometimes it looks too intrusive.
With pity, the individual does not seek to experience the emotions of another, but such a feeling can be expressed in encouraging words. Compassion is sometimes called mercy, and it manifests itself in caring and helping those in need.
It’s not for nothing that one of the largest charitable organizations calls its employees sisters of mercy. They provide free care to seriously ill and needy people.
Compassion should not be confused with condolences. The latter is just a statement of fact, i.e. the individual means that he understands the grief of others. This type of feeling does not have a special emotional coloring.
What does it mean to be compassionate from a psychological point of view?
According to psychologists, compassion means:
- express true love and understanding for others;
- imbued with the suffering of another person;
- respect the high level of emotionality and experiences of others, without diminishing their importance;
- act for the benefit of someone, sometimes to the detriment of oneself;
- the ability to help unselfishly.
Difference from pity
Compassion and pity are different, even opposite concepts. But sometimes they are confused. For example, take grieving relatives near a seriously ill person, how do they feel? Relatives feel sorry for the patient. And this only aggravates the suffering of a seriously ill person. Thus, negative emotions definitely do not help in such a situation. Compassion is to alleviate the patient’s condition, to distract, to switch attention to the positive. And it really works. A positive attitude is truly miraculous. In other words, to feel sorry is to be inactive and destroy, and to sympathize is to help and heal.
Read our article “Breathing practices: characteristic features of basic techniques.”
Qualities of People Who Are Compassionate
People who are endowed with the ability of compassion have the following qualities:
- mercy - the ability to provide any help to others without self-interest (transfer an old man across the road, give a smile to a passerby, share with people in need, etc.). Compassionate people exude positivity and have good intentions;
- kindness - the ability to act sincerely for the benefit of someone, to show concern for someone (for example, a kind person who forbids his child to eat a lot of sweets, because he is worried about his health);
- respect - a quality without which it is impossible to have compassion. A person who does not respect others can only feel sorry, demonstrating condescension and his advantage. Only by respecting other people's torment and pain can we empathize with the suffering of another, and thereby alleviate them;
- patience - the ability to prove one’s selflessness, faith in the good of one’s intentions and actions. Unfortunately, good deeds are not always appreciated and accepted by others;
- love is a multifaceted feeling, without which it is impossible to have compassion. True love is not afraid of any obstacles or obstacles; it overcomes even what our mind is not able to overcome.
What does it mean to empathize with others?
Empathy combines the experiences of one person with the experiences of others. To empathize is not the same thing as to have compassion. Often we empathize with someone in an unpleasant situation, misfortune, or grief. But such a feeling also manifests itself in cases of joint envy, satisfaction, sympathy, anger, etc.
To empathize means to sympathize with someone. This is an immersion in any feelings of someone else. And this brings us together and makes us feel support, sympathy, and confidence in understanding the problems. According to the definition of psychology, the ability to empathize is the ability to consciously empathize with an emotional state, to accept the subjective point of view of someone, without losing sight of the source of the experience. This is closely related to the concept of emotional intelligence.
Good or bad
There are different opinions about what empathy and compassion are. Some consider these manifestations negative and unnecessary. Particularly radically minded individuals are confident that such feelings allow others to parasitize strong people.
Self-flagellation - what is it?
A simple example: a woman I know constantly complains to an influential and successful friend about her life. As a result, her troubles are sympathized with and she receives financial assistance.
Therefore, each individual must decide for himself why he needs to show empathy, and whether it is worth it. Help is not always a good thing; sometimes it can lead to even more serious problems.
This is not to say that anyone should act compassionately or be involved in any way. Everyone decides such philosophical questions for themselves. Some prefer to organize charities for a certain category, others do not participate in any way in helping other people.
For your information. Many influential individuals are confident that empathy and compassion are what prevent society from becoming evil and callous.
Literary arguments
Arguments about compassion are best examined through examples of literary works; serious stories are studied by schoolchildren in high school. Writers give their own definition of this term, but they are all united by common reasoning. The most striking examples:
- “War and Peace” by L. Tolstoy;
- “The Fate of Man” by M. Sholokhov;
- “Crime and Punishment” by F. Dostoevsky;
- “The Master and Margarita” by M. Bulgakov;
- “French Lessons” by V. Rasputin.
In the first work, Natasha Rostova showed mercy. During the departure from captured Moscow, the girl gave her carts to the wounded. She did not worry about her own chests in which the dowry was kept. First of all, Natasha thought about helping strangers.
Another example of compassion in literature is Andrei Sokolov from “The Fate of Man.” The guy survived the war, lost his family and home, but his human qualities remained the same. He took care of little Vanyushka, who was left an orphan. Andrei introduced himself as his father and took the boy to his place. Even after seeing the horrors of the war, Sokolov’s heart remained soft; he did not forget how to sympathize and show compassion.
Dostoevsky's work of fiction describes the difficult story of Raskolnikov. The poor student lives in a cramped dark room, often goes hungry, but remains proud. For the sake of money, he kills an old moneylender, but after this he suffers even more. Instead of taking the loot for himself, Rodion leaves the bills under a stone and later gives them to Marmeladov’s widow. Although he himself had nothing to buy food with, he could not ignore the misfortune of others. Raskolnikov remained merciful despite the terrible crime he committed.
The main character of Bulgakov's novel, Margarita, is ready to do anything to meet the Master. She contacted the devil, spent the night at his ball, and met thousands of hanged men and murderers. But when Woland asked her about the reward, she asked to spare Frida from suffering. They stopped giving a woman the handkerchief she used to strangle her son before burying him. And Satan fully appreciated Margarita’s action - he allowed her to ask for one more thing, rewarded her with a meeting with her loved one.
You can draw conclusions about compassion after reading French Lessons. Teacher Lidia Mikhailovna sacrificed her reputation to help her student. She was playing for money with a boy who needed money for food. After their idea was discovered by the director, the woman had to leave for her homeland. Her action cannot be called bad, because she simply showed mercy.
What's better
Not everyone has a positive attitude towards emotional experiences. Someone considers it necessary to provide real help, and not create a pitiful state. In order for a person to start doing something, he must have such a desire.
It is the ability to compassion that determines how often and actively an individual takes part in charity and volunteering. Each person himself determines why he needs this or that activity. Compassion for other people is what motivates you to help, support, and do things that don’t bring you money.
Volunteers do not receive a salary for feeding the homeless, but they experience moral satisfaction
It is the ability to put oneself in the place of another that makes a person kind. The individual understands that he would not like a certain attitude towards himself, and this stops him from doing bad things to other people.
Therefore, we can draw a conclusion on the topic “is compassion necessary?” simple: yes, it is necessary, because it allows you to move on to real actions.
What is compassion?
Compassion is a quality that allows one to renounce evil towards another living being due to the awareness of the possible suffering that a person’s actions will entail. Compassion is the understanding that humanity is higher than those desires and base impulses that can be satisfied by causing suffering to others. This applies to both crimes and more everyday things, such as methods of manipulation, resentment, tyranny, anger, greed, anger and so on. Compassion counters any sins that cause harm to others, not only in other people, but also in oneself. After all, the first thing a truly compassionate and kind person will do is stop bringing suffering to other living beings through their words, deeds and lifestyle.
Compassion is the ability to refrain from actions that would result in the suffering of others, as well as the desire to reduce the suffering of other living beings.
Such a quality as compassion is a certain form of sacrifice of one’s interests for the sake of peace and joy of others. Despite the fact that sacrifice most often involves low and ignorant habits, this is all perceived very hard and negatively. After all, any victim goes through his own pain. On the other hand, inflicting pain on others is much easier and somehow more common than on oneself. Compassion points out our inability to change for the sake of others, for the sake of those for whom we live, act and work.
We often notice only one side of the coin, preferring to ignore the fact that even the fulfillment of worldly duties does not guarantee a good attitude towards us from those around us, since it is the lack of compassion that prevents us from seeing our own actions in their objective reflection. In other words, due to selfishness, we are not able to see that we are behaving incorrectly, preferring to justify our actions, look for those to blame and deny responsibility for the suffering of our neighbor . This is more like egocentrism, the center of which is the reluctance to feel remorse, because we all understand that even if we are not to blame, the suffering caused by our actions will not disappear anywhere.
Compassion sincerely shows us that it is better to endure pain ourselves than to bring pain to others. As we know, desires, ignorance and aspirations are at the root of causing suffering to other living beings. When we really want to get something, we are ready to cause suffering to others. When we try to take out our inner dissatisfaction with life on others, we ignore the fact that we ourselves are capable of dealing with it. Lack of compassion makes a child out of a person, who himself is not able to reach his toy, and therefore constantly cries, gets offended and runs away from everyone. Such behavior may indicate immaturity and infantilism of the individual. But is it really possible to imagine an old holy sage who, because of his dissatisfaction, will cause suffering to other people, prove to them their inadequacy, take out insults, anger, fatigue and malice on them? This is impossible to imagine, since we all understand that the ability to understand one’s feelings, self-control and refusal to cause suffering to other living beings for the sake of one’s own desires are signs of a mature personality, which does not depend either on the movement of one’s own mood or on the attitude of others towards it .
How to learn
It is difficult to develop the best moral qualities in yourself; for this you will have to work every day. You can begin to behave properly only with a high level of self-control.
Important! The ability to reflect is especially valuable, i.e. analyze your actions and actions.
The necessary level of empathy can be developed through training. To do this, when communicating, you need to put yourself in the place of another, try to understand his emotions and feelings.
When reasoning, it is important to try not to judge a person or speak negatively about him. Such actions will not bring any benefit. It's better to think about how to solve the problem.
You can try to take part in charity projects. Today they can be found in most Russian cities. While helping different people, empathy will be formed.
Difference from compassion
What the word “sympathize” means is described above. Please don't confuse this with compassion. The latter is shared suffering. And here two points can be distinguished: sincere and insincere compassion.
Let's explain with an example. A friend came to us and complained about life. And we nod our heads, ooh and aah, and cry with him. Inside, everything is empty, we are just waiting for this comrade to go away with his whining. There are plenty of troubles of our own, and here comes this one too.
We shared the whining and suffering with a friend. But they did nothing to help him. They just cried together and left. This is an example of insincerity.
And when a person fully shares the suffering of his interlocutor, without turning the clock on himself, but thinking about how to help, this is a manifestation of true compassion for his neighbor.
Facets of manifestation
Compassion is a special internal state that allows you to feel the pain of all living beings. But this feeling is not always sincere and correct. For example, someone through him asserts himself at the expense of the weak, develops a painful attachment.
When manipulated, the rescuer becomes an aggressor, displays anger and physical violence
In this state, the victim is unable to leave on his own. This kind of situation is not real compassion. Some people cannot empathize properly due to their soft nature. They are easy to manipulate, and they are willing to talk about misfortunes.
As a result, a sympathetic person does not see the difference between reasonable help and parasitism. He constantly helps morally and financially, then the victim lives well at someone else’s expense.
To develop the spiritual part of the personality, you need to engage in charity. This brings moral satisfaction, but it is worth remembering: help should be limited, while the person in need is taught to cope with problems on their own.
Each individual determines what different terms may mean to him, especially if they do not have strict definitions. Empathy and compassion are not much different. Both qualities are necessary for the existence of civilization. Without them, it would be difficult for people to coexist and do good deeds.
The ability to empathize and sympathize with others is called empathy, this feeling is very important for communication. With its help, one individual determines the boundaries of what is acceptable in communication with another person. This is especially important for psychologists and doctors who deal with the grief of others every day.
This quality helps make family life wonderful.
Through charity, people support each other in difficult times. This is how difficult situations are experienced: disasters, accidents, destructive natural phenomena. People from different countries provide assistance at such moments. Not even in a global sense, each individual decides for himself whether empathy is needed in life and how it should be manifested.
The essence of the concept
Often the meaning of the word “compassion” is understood narrowly, considering it identical to the concept of “sympathy.”
This may be true if we are talking about the typical, generally accepted theory of liking other people. As a result, we get that a person empathizes with the problems of the people around him. And he is not indifferent to the emotions of other people, their suffering. And this is an integral part of such a concept as empathy. In simple words, this is the ability to empathize with others and be interested in their problems. And this is not beyond the norm. But for now we are only touching on the emotional sphere. However, people are not only emotions, but also intellects that must always interact. Read our article “A rosary made of 108 beads: symbolism and practical application.”
Everyone actually needs compassion to some extent. There are situations in which you simply cannot cope alone. Such people may then feel a natural need to share their emotions with someone. And these can be not only close people. However, not every person is capable of compassion; some are not given such a quality at all, or they are simply not taught to show it.
If they treat you badly, and you, experiencing negative emotions, are able to sympathize with others, then this is being able to sympathize. It is a state of mind, not an activity. It is not for nothing that the dictionary defines such a concept as the ability not only to sympathize and feel sorry for people who have suffered grief or misfortune, but also to want to help alleviate suffering and pain, and eliminate their sources.
Compassion - what is it?
Sympathy is one of the most important emotional states, expressing a feeling of concern about a situation or situation. Why is sympathy needed? It allows an individual to understand other people’s emotions and remain human. This condition can be based on the following principles:
- attachments;
- understanding;
- respect.
Often such emotions express empathy for another person. They can be expressed in different ways:
- necessary or gentle words;
- encouraging actions;
- physical or material assistance.
The ability to sympathize is a good trait of a person, it is important to do it on time and not to be intrusive, since sometimes heated situations arise in which this “gesture” will be unnecessary and there is a high probability that sympathy will cause psychological damage to the individual. Therefore, it is so important to express the emotional state in question sincerely and at the appropriate moment.
