The ideal wife, what she is like in the opinion of men and what qualities she has

The ideal wife is a biorobot who never has a headache, is never in a bad mood, and whose basic functions are washing, cooking, and cleaning.

Many women think so. They believe that it is impossible to become an ideal man, so they don’t even try.

But there are lucky women who are given flowers every day, carried in their arms and showered with gifts! From the outside it seems that they are sitting on their butts straight and doing nothing about it.

But they managed to find the key to their husband’s heart, to become an inspiration, a goddess, an ideal for him!

What does an ideal wife mean? What qualities does every man want to see in his life partner?

Family psychologists claim that 90% of family relationships depend on the woman. If your neighbors (colleagues, friends) have managed to buzz your ears that all men are the same and there are no ideal marriages, feel free to throw this nonsense out of your head.

Every woman can build an ideal relationship with her partner, but for this she will have to work hard!

What should an ideal wife be like according to men?

Being ideal does not mean having any special data, abilities or amazing beauty. It is not enough to just be a wife and mother or a good housewife. Men want:

So that women would inspire them with their qualities and attitude
Make your home a happy place where you always want to return

In light of the above, how many points would you rate yourself considering yourself as a wife? Do you consider yourself a good, ideal wife? What rating would your husband give you? If there is harmony in your marriage and it is happy, most likely your and your husband's answers will be synchronized.

And if the answers do not agree, then the above qualities of a good wife will help, in the opinion of men, to become ideal for you. (We recommend reading wise quotes and statuses about your husband).

She deeply respects her husband

Respect is of utmost importance to men. Therefore, they often ask others: “Do you respect me?” It is logical that a man expects respect for himself, first of all in his own home, from his wife. How can a woman practically show that she truly deeply respects him? Here are a few points:

Respect is expressed in the way a spouse speaks and behaves with her husband. If she truly respects him, then she will speak to him lovingly, gently, refraining from criticism and caustic remarks.
She avoids showing an independent, proud spirit, showing everyone that “my husband is not my decree, I do what I want.” Respect is shown in the fact that a woman always thinks about her man's reputation.
The wife consciously shows that she values and respects her husband. An effective way to do this is to allow a man to overhear you telling someone how much you love him and how lucky you are to be his wife, explains psychologist Natalia Kholodenko .
When making a decision, the wife will consult with her husband, even if it is just a matter of changing her hairstyle or responding to an invitation to visit. By this she shows that, first of all, she values his opinion and recognizes his dominance, and also does not want to harm his reputation.

We advise you to read 100 ways a woman can show that she respects her man.

The ideal wife always keeps in touch

Good communication and exchange of thoughts is one of the keys to a happy marriage. Therefore, the wife has no secrets from her husband. She trusts him and is honest with him. What does a wise wife do to maintain good communication?

Puts away his phone . “When your partner has something to talk about, put down the phone,” recommends psychologist Egor Topolov . Looking through the phone while a husband is trying to talk to his wife is disrespectful to him. Therefore, while maintaining communication with her husband, the wife gives him her full attention. This will make him feel more appreciated.
Avoids greeting her husband from work with complaints and problems. The wife understands that this is not the companionship her husband is looking for at the end of the day. If problems and complaints are tolerated, she will talk about them when her husband has rested a little.
She tries to be a good listener when talking with her husband. She may have dozens of things she wants to tell him about, but she lets her husband speak first, remembering that there is a time for everything.

Be sure to watch a 5-minute interview with psychologist Yulia Sviyash about what will help a woman become an ideal wife. In 5 minutes of watching the video, you will be able to highlight useful thoughts for yourself.

She is always happy to see her husband when he returns home

This may seem like a small thing, but in fact, a family idyll is built on little things. “Be full of enthusiasm, look him in the eye, smile and show him how happy you are to see him,” suggests psychologist Olga Perekopaiko .

“You'll be amazed at how important this is. It's so easy to let kids, work, social media, or household chores demanding our attention take precedence over this special relationship moment. Five minutes of your undivided attention will give you a lot more to worry about. Your husband will feel loved and want to show you how much he loves you,” says Olga.

(Read about what male habits and qualities create problems in your relationship with your wife to know how to eliminate them).

An ideal wife understands her husband's capabilities

Men expect understanding from their wives, especially in difficult times when they feel insecure or disappointed. What does an understanding woman do? She assures her beloved that he will succeed, being proud of any of his achievements and successes.

And if he wants to start a new business, a new hobby or take up a sport, she encourages him to achieve what he wants.

When faced with her husband’s failures, she simply says: “Nothing, it didn’t work out now, it will work out next time.” She has no illusions about his abilities or capabilities. A woman understands that her husband is not a movie hero or superman; he needs time to achieve success.

The ideal wife understands that her husband is not a superman.

She is his best friend

The husband probably has a best friend, but there are some good reasons why the wife should behave the same way. “Best friends love and support each other unconditionally, and are even loyal in times of conflict,” explains Vicki Ziegler , divorce attorney and author of The Premarital Planner.

An ideal wife wants her husband to know that no matter what, she is an unbreakable team and his best friend. Such support will make a man more honest and loving. (You can find out what a wife should be like from a man’s point of view by reading meaningful quotes about a wife.)

His wife supports his friendships with friends

“After marriage, men tend to abandon their friends because of women's whims, and that's a shame,” says Karen Jones , relationship expert and founder of The Heart Matters.

To remain a good wife, a wise woman does not prevent her husband from spending time with other men. There are some things that men get from each other that they cannot get from women. For them it is more carefree, with less responsibility and more incentive. Once they receive this boost, husbands tend to use it to make their wives happier.

But what if his wife doesn’t like his friends?

Just because a woman doesn't like his friends doesn't mean she shouldn't date them when her husband asks. She does this for him. In a healthy relationship, partners do things for each other. Such sacrifices strengthen intimacy.

Remembers the importance of intimacy in a relationship

Sexual intimacy is one of the most essential components of a happy marriage. How does the ideal wife behave in this case?

She will never manipulate sex or blackmail a man with refusal of sexual intimacy, wanting to achieve something from him.
She will try to be interesting to him in bed during intimacy. She shows that intimacy with her man brings her joy and pleasure.
Sometimes she will initiate sex herself. Men are often the initiators, but they like it when women take control in the bedroom,” notes sexologist Natalia Kobilkina .

I think you will be interested in the following related articles: What are 16 things that irritate men about women? And second, how can a man recognize female manipulation?

Ideal means smart wife

She is smart, but does not show off her intelligence, especially when she sees that her intelligence is a little higher than the person of the opposite sex with whom she communicates. She has no desire to teach everyone and everything. Moreover, she does not consider her word to be the final authority in communication or relationships with men. What sets her apart from other women is her ability to gently deflect arguments.

Her talent is to convince her chosen one to believe that the solution she proposes is actually his idea. With such a woman, a man is unlikely to feel weak or stupid, rather, on the contrary, smart, resourceful and courageous.

She inspires her man to set new goals for himself. Strives to awaken in him the desire to achieve them. Inspires so that he has a desire to become better. Knows how to complement his life partner well: his missing or weak points.

She also knows how to remain somewhat of a mystery to her man. The wife understands that the longer she remains mysterious, the more interest and desire her loved one will have to solve this riddle.

Knows how to keep his secrets

Research conducted by Chilean scientists shows that women can keep secrets for an average of 47 hours and 15 minutes. It is at this time that they usually convey information to a friend, mother, or relatives.

A wise wife remembers that her husband's personal secrets are under his personal control and carefully guarded. And if he revealed them to his wife, it means he considers her reliable and worthy of trust. Perhaps wanting to reduce your stress, depression, or find comfort.

“When your partner tells you something confidential, don't share it with anyone—not even your best friend. When your husband is able to open up to you, it is important not to break his trust. Remember this, no matter how great the desire to share it with others, says psychotherapist Kimberly Hershenson .

An ideal wife is always grateful to her husband for his work

A man, like any other person, loves praise. He likes it when people say they appreciate his work. I like it when people thank me for everything he has done for his family. He is pleased to hear the words “dear, how I love you!” Thank you, I really appreciate your concern."

“A compliment is the smallest thing a woman can do to show her husband her appreciation. Whether it's about his appearance, work or personality, a compliment is a simple and effective way to lift his spirits. Most men crave appreciation and want to feel like their wife recognizes their hard work and appreciates them for it,” explains psychologist Anastasia Rubtsova

Therefore, it is quite common for an ideal wife, in a conversation with her husband or other people, to show that she is grateful to him, proud of him and happy to be his wife.

Honesty, fidelity, devotion - qualities of an ideal wife

She will be, under any circumstances, honest, devoted, faithful to her life partner. The wife will not allow other men to flirt with her, considering this to be a humiliation not only to herself, but also to the dignity of her man. Therefore, she does not have to deal with her husband's jealousy.

She will not even allow herself to indulge in fantasies about a relationship with another man, even if a temporary crack has appeared in her relationship with her husband. By her behavior, she will never give reason to doubt her fidelity, showing that the key to her heart belongs only to her husband.

Ideal woman, wife takes care of her appearance

In the eyes of a man, the ideal wife should be a “pleasant” woman. A happy smile on your face, a pleasant tone, a neat, clean appearance, a beautiful hairstyle - this attracts a man. Therefore, she tries to look attractive every day.

She always wants a man to be pleased to see his life partner as an attractive woman. Therefore, among all the worries, she finds time to take care of herself, working on her appearance and attractiveness.

She updates her everyday wardrobe.

“There’s nothing better than changing into comfortable clothes at the end of the day. But why not throw out your sweatpants and old underwear. While your old sweatpants may be super cozy, find something sexier and more comfortable. And your partner will notice the transformation,” suggests April Masini , author of Think and Date Like a Man.

She is a good housewife and is engaged in self-development

The wife, without complaining about her responsibilities, always makes sure that her and her husband’s home is cozy and clean. She spends the family budget economically, does not waste money and, without reminders, makes sure that her husband and children always look good.

In addition to protecting the family hearth, a woman continues to develop in order to remain interesting to her life partner. She understands that her husband is unlikely to be able to admire or be proud of his beloved for a long time if she has no other interests other than cooking, washing and raising children. In a few years, interest in her will pass, since men are addicted natures and he will be bored with her.

Therefore, in addition to borscht and diapers, she also has other interests: hobbies, favorite activities, work, hobbies in which she develops and tries to succeed.

Ideal - that means not a grumpy wife

When disagreements or even quarrels arise, the wife does not show her temperament by shouting, swearing, or breaking dishes. Moreover, he will not tell others about quarrels, even relatives. Instead, choose the right time, trying to calmly discuss this problem with your husband. If she disagrees with her husband on something, she will tell him about it respectfully.

How not to become a mother to your husband? - the most common mistake women make

By the way, this mistake can cost you a lot. Gradually, your husband will stop perceiving you as the woman he loves, seeing in you the likeness of his own mother. In this case, the beloved’s place will become vacant. So, how can you turn into your husband’s mother?

1. Solve his work problems

A man should be the head of the family, and if it happens that one day he will be left without work, then you should not immediately jump to solving this problem. There is no need to start looking for a new job without his direct requests, declaring: “I’ll talk to dad,” “Uncle Misha will help,” and the like. Let the chosen one decide this issue himself.

2. Do basic things instead

Don’t do things for your husband that any adult can do on their own without much difficulty. In some families, a man is not able to put food on his plate and heat it up, because his mother used to put a hot dinner on the table in front of him, and then his wife took up this baton.

Also, do not buy him items of clothing without his direct participation, including socks - this is what his mother did when he was little. Now you can go shopping together and buy things for two. An exception may be gifts for the holidays.

3. You talk as if you were talking to a baby.

Sometimes such communication can be very sweet and funny, but if it becomes a permanent part of life, then this is a very unkind sign. Example: “Did you eat this morning?”, “Did you remember to put on warm socks?”, “Why didn’t you finish your soup? There will be no sweets!”

4. Take on the main responsibilities and constantly remind him of everything.

It’s easier for you to change a light bulb, cook dinner, knock out the carpet, nail a nail, etc., than to ask your husband for help. You are convinced that you will still be able to do everything better, and at this time your spouse “would rather watch the movie.”

You have long stopped believing that your husband can do something important if you don’t remind him of it. And the spouse himself is so accustomed to your endless clarifications that he really stopped making decisions on his own and solving basic everyday issues without your intervention. Stop regularly reminding your chosen one to “remember to take the keys,” “buy bread,” “take out the trash,” “pay for the Internet,” “visit mom,” and so on. As soon as you stop constantly reminding him of basic things, at first he, accustomed to your control, will really forget to do what he should, but gradually he will learn to take responsibility for such everyday little things.

5. You control him in everything.

If your husband is late at a meeting with friends, you immediately start calling him, urging him to return home immediately, while simultaneously setting deadlines for him: “If you’re not home in half an hour, blame yourself!” etc.

Think about why you behave this way. Most likely, you expect that in this way you will become an indispensable woman in your spouse’s life, without whom he will not be able to take a step. As a rule, such assumptions are very far from the truth. You simply made your husband’s life as easy as possible by taking on unnecessary responsibilities. Gradually, he will begin to perceive you as a nanny or mother, and himself as an unintelligent child. Also, most likely, one day he will want to feel like a strong man next to a fragile and weak woman, but this role will no longer be up to you - by then, through your own fault, too heavy a load will lie on your shoulders.

The ideal woman according to men

Men judge ideality through the prism of their own set of necessary qualities. Look at what they think a woman should be like who claims to be the ideal one? A survey of the male population in cities near and far abroad gives some male insight into this issue.

A loving woman who deeply respects her man when he is worthy of respect.
A thrifty, good wife who can create and maintain home comfort.
Morally pure without a depraved past.
Have a sense of self-worth that shows in her mannerisms. Be a beautiful soul.
This is a woman who can make a man respect her. Making him appreciate her, afraid of losing his relationship with her.
Smart as a man, beautiful as a girl, with the behavior of a lady from high society. Knows how to deal with people.
Knows the tastes and preferences of her lover. She knows how to attract him with her image, which is the most beautiful for him.
No bad habits, physically healthy. She does not hide behind bad habits from stress or difficult circumstances. This is the ideal woman through the eyes of men.
Intellectually developed, able to use her intellect to analyze a situation in order to create, feel or invent.
She is driven by the need to develop spiritually, to improve herself, and not by the desire to remake all the people around her. She is interested in constantly discovering something new in the people around her.
The ideal one is the one who knows how to attract the attention of her man with her intelligence, upbringing, winning him with her gaze and smile.
Not stupid or naive, but knowledgeable about life.
Kind, patient, especially when there is a reason to get angry with children, husband, neighbors, relatives.
She is open to experimentation, has enviable curves and a high IQ.
With a good sense of humor, involved in charity work.
She has her own opinion, is true to her principles, moderately strong and passionate about something.
Honest, pleasant, ambitious, achieves her goals.
She knows how to take care of herself and is able to combine being a housewife, mother and businesswoman.
The ideal woman is faithful and devoted to a man, family values, and reliable for her lover.
She loves joint adventures and recreation, active, cheerful.

Provide your home with delicious food and comfortable conditions2

Everything seems simple, but most women forget about this truth. It’s not difficult to bake your husband’s favorite apple pie, but it’s difficult to find time for baking and other wonders of confectionery. No one talks about baking every day or constantly being at home with a rag and polish in your hands.

Now it has become much easier to get rid of the torment after work and call home any cleaning service, buy a pie from your favorite deli and grab a couple more delicious dishes from the restaurant. A woman should, yes should, be able to organize the life of her family and provide everyone with delicious food, cleanliness and pleasant aromas of coziness and comfort. How she does this is a second-order question.

Rule #6: Let him win

You've fallen in love with a mansion you can't afford. He prefers to buy a smaller house so he can have money for furniture and a new car. You want to celebrate your tenth wedding anniversary in Paris according to the first category, he agrees, but does not talk about it again, and the eleventh anniversary is already around the corner. You want to have three children, two is enough for him. Should you insist on your own or let your husband win this argument? The answer is simple: “If it’s not vitally important to you, let your husband win.” Relationships are more important than the satisfaction of having your way. It's better to be happy than always right.

Article on the topic

Limit of love. How much intimacy should there be in marriage?

Rule #13: Rules of Sex

Whether you like it or not, whether you think it's fair or not, your sex life is determined by your husband. Whether your husband wants sex all the time or isn't interested in it at all, you'll be much happier if you accommodate him. Don't refuse your husband if he wants sex every night, even if you are a morning person. Don't demand sex from a husband who wants to watch a TV show or read a book after dinner. Go with the flow - whatever it is in your marriage.

Article on the topic

"Empty nest syndrome" How to save a marriage when the children are grown?

Rule #5: Support him

Support your husband in everything. If he has a cold or a sore throat, do not downplay the severity of the illness. Pay attention to the man. Look after him. Prepare his favorite soup, offer him medicine. If his favorite team lost, sympathize with him. He will appreciate it. Remember to thank and praise your spouse whenever possible when he takes out the trash, mows the lawn, or hangs a picture on the wall. He should feel needed - and then he will feel good with you. Remember, behind every great man there is a woman who supported him! If you appreciate him, he will achieve great things! And if you believe in him, then he will believe in himself - and in you. He will want you to be proud of him. And you will be proud of it!

Rule #2: Don’t give up on your own interests (you should have your own life!)

Some women put their husbands at the center of their lives, giving up everything that made them interesting after marriage. Others forget about their career or stop working altogether. Others are reducing communication with family and friends. Still others give up interests and hobbies—even fitness. This is a huge mistake. If you completely adapt your life to your husband and he is now the center of your universe, he loses interest in you - and you suffer and regret the sacrifices made.

Article on the topic

Love does not love. Jealousy as a relationship barometer

Stop practicing motivational methods on your husband5

Scientists at the University of California conducted a survey among young American men and men 30 years older and found that more than 68% hate motivated wives.

Popular trainings teach that there should be a successful man nearby, whose salary is in at least six figures, and who looks no worse than a professional bodybuilder.

What should those who have Seryoga come home from his shift at the factory do and are not distinguished by either athletic features or the ability to earn hundreds of thousands? Naturally, motivate! Zealously and intensely, with sophisticated passages through the shortcomings and disadvantages of character, so that he understands exactly what a nonentity he is with a low salary and a worthless life. A man perceives even subtle motivation as eating away the brain, and there is not an ounce of benefit from it.

The ideal wife is self-confident, has good self-esteem, knows that her partner is ideal and the relationship is not built on the number of bills in her wallet and the status of the car in the garage. With a competent approach and boundless faith in your husband, everything will come gradually, but from constantly cutting him into pieces, only divorce will come, in rare cases with serious injuries due to a nervous breakdown.

Rule #7: If something doesn't concern you, deal with it.

Every man has secrets that it is better not to ask him about. If these secrets are relatively harmless (unless they are drugs, alcoholism, gambling, adultery or tax evasion), do not demand that he tell you absolutely everything. You can give subtle hints or start a conversation, but if a man prefers to keep a secret, don't force him to share everything with you. After all, you also have your little secrets! Here are a few areas in which a man is best left alone: his relationship with his family, travel time from work to home, business secrets, his health, how much he sleeps and watches TV, how he dresses.

Rule #12: Have date nights

Whether you have children or not (and even more so if you do!), you should keep the romance in your relationship. Set aside one evening exclusively for your husband - preferably a Saturday. And it doesn’t really matter whether you rent a video and order food home or go to a restaurant and a movie. The main thing is to make this evening belong only to the two of you. Invite a nanny to babysit or send the children to grandma's. You need one evening without diapers, whining, phone calls, washing dishes, family squabbles, problems with friends, colleagues and clients.

Intimacy

In order not to be jealous of your husband and not to be afraid of his cheating, you need to behave correctly in the bedroom.

1. There is no need to punish your husband for misconduct, lack of intimacy, or, conversely, reward him for something with intimacy.

2. Don’t act too shy in bed, because you have nothing to be shy in bed with your loved one.

3. But, of course, there is no need to act unnatural and behave like a worker in the Dutch sex industry. When asked how many men were before him, answer with a smile that everything that came before him does not matter.

4. Be ready to try something new and somehow diversify your intimate life.

5. Do not discuss your intimate life with your friends, this is only your personal and others do not need to know about it.

Rule #8: Return his gifts less often.

Do not return your husband's gifts, even if you are firmly convinced that you will never use this thing! And if the gift is perfectly acceptable (you just wouldn’t choose that color or design for yourself), say you like it and save it to please your husband. It is better to sacrifice your own taste than to offend your partner.

“You don’t love me” and 10 more phrases that are better not to say to men

More details

Rule #11: He can say whatever he wants about his family. You - no!

You can choose your husband, but choosing his family is not in your power. Some women are lucky - their husbands' families accept them with open arms. Others end up with real wasp nests.

Article on the topic

Active listening technique, or How to get around family conflicts

Remember once and for all: you should never speak badly about his relatives, close or distant. If his family is truly terrible (evil, insignificant, insensitive and generally unpleasant), believe me, he knows it very well! He may even criticize his relatives from time to time, and this is normal - this is his family. But he won't want to hear that from anyone else, especially you.