Relationships come to an end, it happens. Kilometers of articles have been written about how a person who has been abandoned feels - this topic is close to the vast majority of those present. But much less has been written about how the initiator of a breakup feels!
Somehow it is generally accepted that he is already all in white and sailed off to happy distances, causing his ex-half undeserved pain. Although in fact this same initiator often experiences stress no less than the supported victim.
Each couple has their own reasons for breaking up, however, if we are really talking about a “relationship”, then most often both participants have been close people for some time and it is very difficult to “cut” from the shoulder and cause pain to such a person. The question “how to break up with a person so that it hurts him as little as possible” remains open.
breakup rules
First you need to understand that there is no painless path. There are no magic words that will make everything simple and enjoyable. It will hurt both the one you are leaving and, most likely, you. The only thing you can do is to avoid common mistakes that make the separation process even more painful. To do this, you need to be sufficiently noble and respect the man who has been next to you for some time. Difficult, but doable.
Keeping your communication to a minimum in the week leading up to the big call can have some major benefits. Firstly, during this time you will be able to finally sort out your emotions and make a final decision. And if you do decide to draw the line, then this week will help him distance himself a little and may even prepare him for what you are going to say to him.
Close together2
Courageous women make the decision to leave the man they love. Such a step is not easy, but most often unpleasant circumstances push it. It's hard to love a man who is an alcoholic, a despot, or a womanizer.
Each of the three nominations has a destructive effect on relationships. Women are patient creatures, but seeing a drunken, lumpy face every day is unbearable. It is also difficult to endure beatings and insults from a brutal dictator. And it’s terribly unpleasant when a loved one rushes after every passing skirt, like Kuzka after Murka in the March period.
Girls endure any adversity for a long time, but in the end they come to the decision to end a difficult relationship.
Try to deal with your feelings completely
And before you move on the list, make sure that you really want to leave.
There is nothing more painful than uncertainty in such matters - you will simply cause unnecessary pain, which will still not pass without a trace. It is clear that it is very difficult to be completely sure that you really do not want to be close to the person with whom you have been connected for a long time. But before we go further, we need to deal with this completely and irrevocably.
Perhaps you simply have different plans for the future, or you do not suit each other in some very important matters. Perhaps you just stopped loving him. In any case, you understand that next to him you are not happy and will not be happy. But it is very difficult not to fall back into the trap of an outdated relationship if you have not firmly decided to get out of it. Try to write a list of what you consider to be the reasons for your departure - not in order to make structured claims to an already depressed opponent, but so that you yourself do not forget your arguments in a difficult emotional situation.
Sure? Absolutely? We inhale deeply, exhale and move on.
How to leave a man depending on your zodiac sign
Each zodiac sign has its own individual approach.
- Aries.
First, understand that it is unlikely that you will be able to “talk” to Aries. By nature, Aries men always strive to be first. And so be prepared that you will not see a violent reaction. He becomes indifferent, his love quickly gives way to coldness and anger, and sometimes even hatred. You might think that he has no love for you. But that's not true. Representatives of this sign will not admit this to you.
- Calf.
After talking with you, this man will prefer loneliness. He will fight the pain alone, without the involvement of others. It is important for him to come out of this situation as a winner; he will not take revenge on you and try to get you back. There will be people around him who will extol him in every possible way and assure him that you were unworthy of him. Therefore, a man of this zodiac sign will draw the wrong conclusions from your relationship.
- Twins.
This man will be able to quickly accept a breakup as he is sociable by nature. He will begin to lead a more active social life. He will spend more time with friends, attend parties, or even go on a trip. A Gemini man rarely tries to get the relationship back.
He does not step into the same river twice. Breaking up is easy for him. A man will draw conclusions from failed relationships and move towards new ones. But he will approach the choice of the next girl more selectively, choosing the complete opposite of the previous one.
- Cancer.
Breaking up with a Cancer man will be very difficult. Since ending a relationship with a manipulator is not an easy task. He's obsessive. He will try to win you back, convincing you that your decision is a mistake. Try not to catch his eye. For him, this is a reason to fall into despair again. He will begin to manipulate you, beg for a meeting, blackmail you, say he is sick, threaten suicide, and pester you with phone calls. Cancer men are rehabilitated after they meet their new love.
- A lion.
How does a Leo man break up? Representatives of this sign always leave with dignity, but they endure separation extremely hard. They may be in despair and not accept what is happening for a long time. In itself, Leo's nature is not vindictive or touchy. However, when parting, the thought of a place may arise, but quickly disappear.
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- Virgo.
He will still stop believing in himself and will be lost in thought. He will begin to look for problems and causes. Some representatives of this sign try to win back their beloved, promising to change everything for the better. However, they soon begin to make the same mistakes, leading to separation again. And Virgos begin to blame themselves even more and convince themselves that they are not worthy. Most of them rarely have successful relationships.
- Scales.
It is difficult to find the correct answer to this question, since a man’s behavior during separation is unpredictable. He may react calmly or worry deeply, blaming himself. Marriage swindlers and other scammers very often take advantage of the weaknesses of such a man. But if Libra truly loves you, then even after a while this feeling will remain the same.
- Scorpion.
It is better to break up with a man of this sign without further explanation. He will not listen to your reasons and arguments. First, he will try to make peace with you, and if he fails, then get ready. This sign is very vindictive. You will be to blame for everything, all his failures will be only because of you. Harsh statements and actions are directed at you. He might even start following you. However, as soon as his imagination and ardor fade away, he will simply forget about your existence.
- Sagittarius.
It doesn’t matter at all how, because he will leave with dignity. The man will not ask you to come back. By nature, he is an optimist and looks for only the positive aspects in everything. Therefore, when parting, there will be something good and he will decide that his whole life is still ahead. This sign will quickly plunge into a new adventure or start a new relationship in order to forget about the breakup.
- Capricorn.
You can break up with this man and forget him, since he leaves forever, adhering to the rule of “live here and now” and does not regret the past at all. Most likely he will start a new relationship or just get busy with work. As a rule, representatives of this sign temporarily limit communication with friends and family. It’s easier for them to think about everything themselves than to share their experiences with someone. Therefore, it is often possible not to notice that a man has undergone changes in his personal life.
- Aquarius.
People of this sign are the simplest, so you can part with them painlessly. Aquarius will decide that an unsuccessful personal life is his karma. And after parting, he will begin to throw himself into work and his favorite activities. Until he falls in love again.
- Fish.
This is just bordering on fantasy. These people have a subtle mental organization. If the initiator of the breakup was not Pisces, then this is very dramatic for them. A man begins to convince himself that he is insignificant. Then his anger gives way to despair. Representatives of this sign believe that if they return the relationship, then everything will be different. Sometimes they simply limit themselves to a few attempts to return the relationship. If nothing works out, then they swim on.
PREPARE WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY IN ADVANCE
Be prepared to be shocked by your decision, even though you've been distant for the past week. The reaction can be different - offense, tears, screams, threats, laughter, apparent indifference, insults. Try to stay calm, no matter what happens. Don’t let the conversation end in a quarrel: make it clear that you sincerely regret that nothing worked out. You don’t gloat, you don’t triumph, you don’t shrug it off indifferently - you regret; - be prepared for questions, remember your list of reasons; - try to avoid any physical contact - touching, shaking hands, hugging, etc. - don’t be cold and distant - be confident. And look into the eyes.
Mistakes when breaking up4
When a woman comes to the decision of how to leave a man, she feels responsibility and importance before such an important step. How to tell your partner about your decision? After all, he only looks strong and stern, but in reality he is a sensitive and suspicious man, like a child. So the young lady is racking her brains over how to wave goodbye to the guy.
In the course of such thoughts, women do a lot of stupid things when breaking up with a guy.
Try to make it as clear as possible that it's over.
You made your decision, it is thoughtful and balanced. Stick to it, don’t give in to illusory hope. Yes, it’s very difficult to remain firm, I really want him to not be in so much pain, so girls often say things that ultimately result in real sadism: - “maybe someday we can be together!..” - “you know, there’s a part of me that still loves you!” - “I have never loved anyone as much as you!” - “okay, give me time to think about it again!” - "we can stay friends? Call me whenever you want! - “I feel very good with you, I don’t know why I even do this!..”
Of course, we really want to ease the shock and suffering of the other party, so we give in and say what the suffering party wants to hear. And thereby we only lengthen the recovery process, sending ourselves and our ex to several circles of hell under the general title “I will do everything to get her back!” Which will most likely end in mutual nervous exhaustion and an even more painful breakup.
There was love
The most compelling reason why girls break off relationships is a banal fading of feelings. Most often, love for one man is replaced by an outbreak of sympathy for another. In this case, the usual partner causes frustration, irritation, and depression.
The guy stops worrying, causing jealousy and interest. His caresses and hugs cause headaches, and the desire for sex causes the sudden appearance of menstrual periods. The girl seems to look at him with different eyes: where has his charm, charisma, sexuality gone? The man appears before her eyes as simple and boring, and his presence begins to depress her.
The woman catches herself thinking that she would like to spend this evening separately from him: reading Leo Tolstoy’s book “War and Peace”, monotonous knitting, walking the dog, gatherings with old neighbors - and with anyone, just not with him!
If the image of another guy has settled in your heart, your usual partner will irritate you even more. During sex, a desired image is born in a woman’s mind. She imagines how good she would be with another man. A careless partner begins to dream that her “other half” will become interested in another young lady in order to break off a relationship that is not pleasing. A thought is born and lives in her head: how to leave a man.
Help him avoid any contact with himself.
Everything means everything. It often happens that it is very difficult to resist the desire to see or call, try to support him during this period of time and do everything so that he does not have false hope.
If possible, try to avoid places you have visited together, and reduce meetings with mutual friends. Answer calls in a friendly manner, but with as much distance as possible. Don’t write, don’t call, or initiate meetings yourself.
He needs time to understand and accept that everything is really over. And that it's time to move on. And if you respect him and really want your breakup to not become a serious trauma for him, then be completely honest and don’t give any reason to think that things can still somehow come back. Calling the person you left in love “purely in a friendly way” in order to raise your female self-esteem is the ugliest mistake. And the most common, unfortunately.
These simple rules are not some kind of revelation, they are simply the experience of many people put together. An experience that will help you make this stage in your life and his life a little less painful.
The main thing to remember is that all the changes that you are sure of in your heart are for the better. For the better in both your life and his. Good luck!
What to do if a man wants to end the relationship
Remember, you should always respect and love yourself. If such a situation arises, then remain calm, do not fall into hysterics in front of him, see yourself with dignity. To do this you need to parse the following:
- Determine the reason for separation. You need to understand why this happened. If the reason is you, then this is a reason for introspection and some changes.
- Write down his shortcomings on a piece of paper.
- Give yourself permission to be a little girl. Cry, it will become easier. And then cut him out of your life.
- Make good use of your time. Develop yourself, build a career, change your appearance, play sports.
- Let positivity into your life. Live only with good, wonderful memories, and not with the negative past.
We broke up for a while8
Sometimes a woman suggests taking a break in the relationship. On the one hand there is a gap, on the other hand there is a temporary separation. This decision is not always stupid and imprudent. A woman makes a complaint to a man, then a serious conversation follows and a verdict: a 1-2 month timeout in the relationship.
Over the past period, the couple has the opportunity to weigh their feelings, problems that have arisen and take a break from each other. As a result, the partners either converge in the rapture of love, having missed each other and suffered a large number of days apart, or finally break up.
Analysis of feelings12
In order to properly break up with a man, without causing men’s hysterics, angry tirades and crocodile tears, a woman needs to listen to the advice of psychologists: “How to leave a man.” The first thing she should do is sort out her feelings and understand whether she really doesn’t need him anymore.
Let her imagine him with another woman, and imagine her own world without his presence? If your heart does not bleed and does not clench into a fist, then you should move on to the second step. And if your ex has confessed his love and is ready to take a step toward reconciliation, you should listen carefully to your heart.
Accusation of sins6
Some girls are lovers of melodrama and beautiful scenes. They don’t think for a long time about how to leave a man. They like to act out tragedies, sigh theatrically and wring their hands. This type of woman does not leave men secretly, but makes the breakup noisy, pompous, and memorable.
The main character prepares a list of accusations in advance, starting with grunting at the table, ending with dissatisfaction in bed, which is deafeningly exposed in front of an unsuspecting man. After charges are filed, at least one word from the accused is expected.
Some amazing representatives of the stronger sex manage to remain silent, but as soon as a man grunts, a storm begins. The woman is carried away, vomiting on emotions. Not only does she abandon the poor fellow, but she also seeks to destroy him, humiliate him, and wipe him off the face of the earth.
Operation: “Hysterical”10
When solving a difficult problem: “How to leave a man?”, a woman can act in different ways: honestly announce the breakup, or provoke her partner to break up.
Wanting to break up with her boyfriend, the girl experiences remorse and guilt. Somewhere in the depths of her soul, she wants to become abandoned and abandoned by him, just so as not to bring pain and worry to the person.
To force a man to make such an important decision as a breakup, a woman can do the following:
- Throw tantrums every day with or without cause. For a woman to master such a science is not difficult. As popular wisdom says: “A woman can do three things out of nothing - a hairstyle, a salad and a scandal.”
- Be jealous of everyone. Jealousy must be pathological in nature, starting from removing classmates from friends, to finding fault with a bread stall saleswoman.
- No freedom. It is necessary to limit the young man’s personal space. He spends day and night only with his girlfriend. She accompanies him to work, meets him, and waits for him all day. What friends, fishing, football? All events are only in the company of your loved one!
- Dissatisfaction with sex. A cruel point that is better to do without. However, it is worth noting: if the lady is not satisfied with her partner in bed, he will begin to assert himself on the side. And betrayal is a sufficient reason for breaking up with a person.
- Lack of sex. Today the woman has a headache, tomorrow she has a pain in her lower back, and the day after tomorrow the cat falls ill, no time for that. Girls are very creative when they try to avoid sexual intercourse. Lack of sex will definitely send a partner down the “sinful path” of infidelity.
- Money is tight. To push a man away, a woman doesn’t need to do much: criticize the subject himself and his financial income.
These methods will help a man in a short time to distance himself from a girl who longs to part with him.
Letter from Tatiana5
Women are romantic in nature. They confess their love, their worries and their reluctance to communicate through eloquent messages. A long message on the phone, describing in bright colors her desire to leave, will in no way soften the decision. A letter in a pink envelope sent by carrier pigeon will not help either. The man will read the letters and remain completely confused: what’s wrong? Why?
Girls are big fans of surprises. They can write such a message at the moment when a man has packed his bags with the goal of moving in with his beloved and starting a family. Only in the evening they discussed how good and cozy they would be together, the next morning the guy, singing a cheerful song, rushes to her house, and suddenly: Tili-li, “there’s a message for you!” Darling, we need to part...
