I want to leave my girlfriend, how to do it

We part beautifully

Try to present this news carefully.
Take a piece of paper and answer yourself a number of questions, especially if you have doubts about whether to leave the girl. By answering these questions, you will be able to better understand yourself and your feelings, and you will find the necessary arguments for a future conversation.

do you want to never see her again?
Don’t you just want to intimidate or take revenge on her in this way?
Isn't the breakup phrase a way to get her attention?
When and why did you stop being satisfied with the relationship?
what has changed and in whom, because once everything suited you?
can the girl do something to influence your decision?

Take two pieces of paper. On the first one, write everything that you consider to be the reason for the upcoming separation. On the second, reformulate everything so that your statements do not offend the girl, even if the breakup is really her fault.
Now start talking. It’s better to choose a neutral area for conversation, for example, a cafe, preferably not far from her house, so that she can easily get home. Remember that she will be upset.
Be sure to say that you thought about the decision you made for a long time and that it is really important to you.
Say that you realized that there is no future in your relationship. Give pre-prepared arguments.
Be sure to thank the girl for everything she has done for you. Tell her how smart and beautiful she is, that you are simply “not on the way.”
Now it is important not to give any hope. Most likely, the girl will try to restore the relationship, call and write, and look for a meeting. It is important to remain polite and at the same time serious. She must accept everything and get over it.

Try to get rid of sentences with indefinite constructions

No, this is not advice to students in the “Elocution” discipline, this is a recommendation to those guys who don’t want to make their girlfriends cry by mumbling something unintelligible during a breakup.

When you talk to her, get rid of phrases like: “I don’t know if I love you or not.”

“,” “
I just still can’t decide whether I need you now or not
,” “
I can’t understand whether we should break up or not
.

Believe me, it’s almost impossible to endure this. Any of us would tear up at your uncertainty.

Don’t be lazy and think in advance about how you feel, weigh the pros and cons of breaking up in private, and then tell her something specific. Alternatively: “Listen, I think it’s better for us not to see each other for a while. It will be better this way"

. Then explain the reasons for such a statement.

If we've been together for a long time

“I want to leave my girlfriend, but we have been in a relationship for many years, what should we do?” - if this characterizes your situation, then you can follow the recommendations below.

Talk to the girl calmly, do not rush to start a quarrel.
Don't raise your voice, don't resort to insults. If a girl becomes hysterical, try to calm her down.
You can’t show that a breakup gives you maximum pleasure. This way you will only offend the beautiful lady more. Don't be too cold with her.
It is very important to think through the conversation in advance and choose the right words.
It is necessary to speak out in such a way that your partner understands that your decision is not spontaneous, but well thought out - the consequence of long deliberation, and is final.
It is important to show the woman that your breakup has significant reasons. If you want to break up because of her betrayal, then you don’t have to voice such a reason. If you are leaving because you cheated, then it is better to remain silent.
We can say that he is not yet ready for a serious relationship, in principle, with any special person, and not specifically with his partner.
It is important to convey to the girl that the decision is final and that she will still meet her fate. It is necessary that all the i's are dotted and there is no unsaidness left.

Rules of conduct in case of an unexpected meeting7

When a couple is in a stable relationship, they grow their own social circle. Before leaving a girl, you need to decide on the advisability of further communication with mutual friends and acquaintances. Many people leave this circle only to minimize the likelihood of unexpected encounters. Here you have to make a choice: either leave everyone, or continue your friendship.

In such a situation, people prefer to completely change their environment. In 80% of cases, people do just that. In addition, the assessment of the actions of others in relation to the initiator of the separation is below the plinth. It is extremely rare for exes to remain in their former community and manage to behave in a completely civilized manner.

What to do if the meeting happened? Of course, don’t pretend that the girl simply doesn’t exist. She is there, and you need to say hello to her and even ask how she is doing. But you shouldn’t rush in with hugs, you shouldn’t shout that you’re very glad to meet you. Suffice it to say that she has become noticeably prettier since the last time we met.

In general, you should be as polite as possible, with dry notes in your intonation. If it is possible to retreat, then you will have to do it as quickly as possible. And even if it looks like an escape, this way you can easily avoid unnecessary conversations and empty hopes.

Breaking up with your girlfriend

Sometimes you have to let go of a relationship when you love deeply.
There is also a situation when a young man is in love, but notices that his partner does not reciprocate his feelings and continues to be there only out of politeness or fear of offending the person. In such a situation, it is important to gather courage and realize that the girl will be better off with someone else.

Talk to her, tell her about your decision, give reasons for it.
Stay calm and cut off all contacts.
It is important not to fall into a depressed state after a breakup. Find a passion, go on a trip. It is important to occupy your thoughts with something else. Throw away anything that might remind you of your ex.

What to do if a girl doesn't let go

Having made your decision, don’t hesitate. State your decision firmly and confidently.
If a girl tries to place all the blame on you, then ask for forgiveness for the entire past, apologize for promises that could lead her astray.
It is possible that the girl may begin to blackmail you, threatening suicide or problems at work. If you know about her such tendencies, then it is better to enlist the help of a psychologist, lawyer or police. It is important to think about how best to present the news of the breakup.
If she's trying to beg for a second chance, don't go along with it if you know nothing will change. Under no circumstances should you agree to have sex. This may be a desperate desire to get pregnant in order to prevent separation.

There was one story in my life. The guy repeatedly tried to break up with the girl. But every time he started talking about it, she threatened to jump out of the window or throw herself under a train. The guy doubted that she would do this, but he was still afraid of being responsible for someone’s life. Therefore, he stayed with her, despite the fact that the relationship simply poisoned his life. And, probably, he would have suffered for a long time if not for a happy accident. The girl was invited to her cousin's birthday party, where she met a new object of adoration. As a result, she herself left the poor fellow in order to be with her new lover. By the way, the new romance ended in marriage for her.

Psychological preparation for breaking up a relationship

Putting an end to a relationship, especially a long one, is always difficult. It’s normal to have doubts and the discomfort of having to stop everything. Psychological preparation consists of several stages :

Decide with 100% certainty that the relationship should be over. It is important to understand that this feeling is not momentary anger due to the conflict that has arisen. Perhaps some things need to be clarified and resolved in the relationship so that everything becomes good. It is better for the psychological state of the man himself when he does not delay changes. If you think for a long time about whether it is worth being together, the stressful state drags on, so it becomes impossible to take decisive actions correctly.
State the reasons. If they are obvious, for example, a girl’s betrayal or new sympathy for another, then it’s worth finding the right words - those that are least traumatic.
Imagine the girl’s reaction to a breakup initiated by a man and prepare for it. If she is also ripe for ending the relationship, then there is a good chance of maintaining the friendship. If your companion is prone to a violent reaction, you should prepare for hysterics. The solution to the issue may be to leave for several days to limit the possibility of contact. The trip must be planned in advance. A change of environment is useful in such cases for both.

What is not recommended to do

There is no need to allow a scandal, shout and insult a girl if you want to break up with her

If you decide to leave a girl, then it is important to think about her feelings and put yourself in her place. The action must be deliberate.

You cannot break up by text or phone call.
You cannot insult, try to humiliate a girl, or blame her for all the problems.
You should not point out her shortcomings, especially when it comes to her figure and appearance in general. This could seriously harm her self-esteem.
There is no need to pretend to be a macho man, smiling mysteriously.
You can't say that she won't be with anyone. Often such statements program a girl for loneliness in the future.
You can’t break up without explaining anything, simply disappearing from her life.
You can’t cheat on purpose, so that the girl finds out everything and decides to leave you.
You can't start a new relationship before you finally explain yourself to your current girlfriend.

Day "X"3

A day to talk also requires some choice. Classics of the genre: before a birthday, New Year's holidays or March 8th. 80% of breakups occur on these dates. Why? It's simple. Guys naively believe that this will make it easier for a girl to be distracted. This is a fatal mistake! Firstly, leaving a lady on the eve of a holiday means that the guy does not have the slightest idea of delicacy, tact and basic education.

Moreover, it looks like an attempt to save money on gifts. Secondly, when the girl is surrounded by happy girlfriends with their boyfriends, cheerfully shouting: “oh, forget about this seal, how can you leave a girl before the holidays,” and other “blah blah blah”, it will be harder for her to survive the breakup. Thirdly, there is no need to spoil the girl’s mood, the guy will already be a complete monster for her, and if he also left her on the eve of the fun, then he is generally a moral monster.

You should not choose moments when a girl needs to go to work or other important matters. It is very difficult to do business if tears appear in your eyes every now and then. It’s better if it’s a day off and the friend doesn’t have any plans.

Adviсe

Be prepared for the fact that you will hurt the girl very much. Do everything to reduce this pain

The decision was taken. Now it’s important to do everything right, so as not to offend the girl. A frank conversation will be the most honest. Who knows, maybe she’s ready for it too.
Analyze the situation. Make sure that you really do not want to continue the relationship, and this is not a spontaneous decision due to a strong attack of anger or jealousy, or a desire for revenge. Try to explain to yourself what exactly didn’t suit you in your relationship, is it possible to somehow improve it, for example, by telling the girl about what doesn’t suit you, maybe she can change.
When talking to a girl, don’t even think about saying that she’s ugly or a bad housewife, or mentioning the defects in her figure. You can not only offend, but also cause serious psychological trauma, which will ruin her entire future life. It’s better to blame yourself, saying that you yourself are not ready for a relationship or that your feelings have cooled down.
Be sure to thank the young lady for all the wonderful minutes spent together. Tell her that you are not worthy of her, she will have a better man.
Don't even try to shout or make a fuss. Who knows, maybe you will decide to restore this relationship when you realize that you feel very bad without her.
If a girl really loves you, then you will see a sea of tears, hear pleas, and hysteria is not excluded. If you have doubts, then you can try to give the girl a chance. If the decision was deliberate, then you need to remain adamant. It is best, after explanations, to go somewhere for a couple of weeks, so as not to catch her eye, to stop any contact with the girl.

It is very important that your decision is conscious and not the result of some kind of resentment or a desire to attract attention to yourself. Do not forget about the feelings of a beautiful person, her psychological health. The news of a breakup should be the least painful, and presented in such a way that the girls can survive it. Remember not to insult or blame your partner for your breakup.

A few words about errors

There is an opinion that you need to act rudely, sharply, and coldly. Let the girl be in pain, but the suffering will subside faster. But such behavior spoils the guy’s reputation, and his partner develops contempt and disgust for him.

Another mistake is getting personal and quarreling over old grievances. You shouldn’t argue, prove, or shift responsibility onto your ex-girlfriend. You should wish the person happiness and let him go.

The desire to quickly end the meeting will offend a woman, as will rudeness. You can't start a conversation in a hurry. You need to turn off your phone. You shouldn't accompany your ex-partner home; it's better to pay her for a taxi. This is a gallant gesture that will emphasize a respectful attitude towards the girl.

A beautiful breakup is impossible without a sincere conversation alone with your ex. A touching breakup will allow both partners to maintain their self-respect and move on.