How to overcome the fear of public speaking. 5 simple steps


Every year, the fear of public speaking is gaining more and more popularity by request on the Internet: students are afraid to defend abstracts, teachers are afraid to give lectures, coaches are afraid of webinars and trainings, company employees are afraid to speak at meetings, guests at a banquet are afraid to make a toast, bloggers are afraid to go live. . Absolutely everyone is scared. How to overcome anxiety in front of an audience? Is there a method that works for everyone?

Everyone is scared. And that's okay

Fear of public speaking is the most common request people come to me with.

First, let's decide that it is quite normal to worry when speaking in front of people, even if it is not an audience of a thousand, but just a group of ten people.

Don't think that there is something wrong with you. Believe me, absolutely everyone is worried - both those who have been constantly giving lectures for the last twenty years and those who are just about to appear in front of the public.

The only difference is that an experienced expert knows how his body will react to a stressful situation. He knows how to help himself so that the quality of the performance does not suffer and the audience leaves satisfied. The newcomer is overwhelmed with excitement. He, without knowing it, spoils his opportunities.

It is important to remember that public speaking is not the norm for a person, we perceive ourselves as part of a pack, a team, it is more common for us not to attract attention to ourselves, not to separate ourselves, but to express our opinion at will, and not because of production necessity.

The situation is unpredictable and brings tension for absolutely everyone. Here I would not divide by gender and age - only the experience that you have behind you plays a role. It allows you to make your excitement work for you.

When fear becomes a problem

Not being afraid of public speaking at all is bad, since excitement and adrenaline rush are indispensable companions of an interested, inspired speaker. Adrenaline “ignites” the speaker, helps to catch the right wave, and infects the audience with interest in the speech. No emotions - no fire. Strong emotions make us move forward. Excitement is a great motivation to prepare and give 100% in front of the audience.

Adrenaline is a stimulant for a speaker, but in too large doses it paralyzes a person and deprives him of his will. The degeneration of excitement into panic becomes a real problem that can ruin your career and damage your reputation, which is why it is so important to take control of the situation.

How to make anxiety work for you

You've probably read or heard the recommendation: "Be honest with your audience and state that you care."
I disagree - this may be misunderstood by your listeners. If it’s really hard, you can say that it’s “exciting for you to speak in front of this audience today” or “to be part of such a project.” Such phrases have a more positive connotation.

However, even in a state of serious stress, you can use the help of the gym. What does it mean?

Involve people in your speech. Of course, we are not talking about initially formal reports and reports, because there is little creativity here. It's about the performance, about communicating with the audience. Ask questions. If the format of the event does not involve answers, then this may be a call to action. For example: “think”, “remember”, “imagine”, “how was it like for you the first time”... This is also a kind of dialogue with the audience. Asking for a show of hands or something else is a great move.

Even though we are adults, we all love to play. When you evoke emotions, you are remembered as the right speaker.

How does fear of public speaking manifest itself?

The release of adrenaline into the blood is accompanied by a whole bunch of physiological reactions. The severity of symptoms depends on the level of stress:

  • high pulse and blood pressure;
  • severe fever or chills;
  • increased sweating;
  • tremor;
  • “cotton” legs and arms;
  • suffocation;
  • nausea, upset stomach, bear sickness;
  • voice problems up to complete disappearance;
  • muscle spasms, unnatural gestures, facial expressions;
  • "burning" or pale face;
  • fits of laughter;
  • fainting.

“I prepared for so long, but I went out and forgot everything”

I often hear this from speakers. “It was only later that I realized that I should have said it like this.” What happened?

In a situation of stress, the focus of our attention shifts. We begin to feel sorry for ourselves , worry about how the audience will evaluate us, how we look, whether we have said everything in the text, why that person in the third row looks at us with contempt - although perhaps he just doesn’t see well.

We begin to pay attention to the “hostile” environment and look for confirmation that we are not very good now - instead of shifting the focus to the audience.

As soon as we withdraw into ourselves and start replaying in our heads “they will think or say something,” we lose contact with people.

Even when there are a hundred or two hundred people in the hall, they perceive themselves as one whole. And if I, as a spectator, see that the speaker is focused on himself - he hesitates, speaks in a trembling voice, looks at the floor, fiddles with his fingers and shows all the signs of his excitement - this begins to irritate me a little, and perhaps even anger me. If you're not ready, why did you come out? The logic is simple. A person reduces his own chances of performing well.

How to help yourself?

A change of focus will help. Remember the goal. Why did the audience come to listen to you? What do they need? Why are they interested in you?

Next , think about yourself: what motivated you to do this? Even if you were forced to go on stage, find something that interests you.

For example: While preparing, you found an interesting fact that you want to share. Let this be your mini-goal. Or you took courses in oratory and public speaking, and now you want to practice some technique.

Then you will not just transmit information, but begin to communicate and tell. And nothing that is excited or in a tight voice! People will receive this favorably and with gratitude, because in this case you are useful. And when it is not there, the situation develops in an unfavorable way.

Immediately before the performance

Meditate

Take a few minutes to meditate. Experts recommend the Body Scan technique - exercises aimed at studying your body and focusing on breathing.

Regain your breath

Breathe deeply and exhale slowly.

Visualize the result

Think about how you will feel after the performance. Elles Coach specialists recommend visualizing a successful result and your feelings at this moment. “Imagine how you feel when you are preparing, how you stand on stage and what emotions you experience after a successful performance,” explain Leila and Laura.

Do a facial workout

Do an articulation warm-up for your lips, tongue and jaw.

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What causes peiraphobia: causes of fear

To overcome your fear, psychologists recommend carefully analyzing your life history and trying to determine where anxiety takes root. This is a rather difficult task, but once the trigger is identified, efforts can be made to eliminate it.

So, the only fact that we cannot completely get rid of is unfavorable heredity, in other words: genetic predisposition.

We are given from birth: a certain stability of the nervous system, a level of anxiety, a degree of fixation on our feelings. However, by using relaxation techniques and resorting to reading affirmations, we can develop composure, calmness, restraint, and equanimity.

Significant factors for the emergence of abnormal fears of communication are:

  • incorrect parenting strategy;
  • excessive severity and exactingness of adults towards the child;
  • unhealthy aggressive atmosphere in the family;
  • physical and mental violence in childhood;
  • the desire to meet the requirements of others;
  • excessive self-criticism;
  • individual traits: timidity, humility, shyness, indecisiveness;
  • negative self-esteem;
  • negative experiences in the past;
  • striving for excellence, perfectionism;
  • excessive pedantry.

Start with your message

To speak confidently in public, you first need to have a message that people actually want to hear. This is perhaps the most important condition.

When someone tells me that they would like to improve their public speaking skills, I always respond by asking, “Why?” What exactly worries my interlocutor so much that he wants to share his thoughts with others?

Unfortunately, very often people want to become successful speakers simply to earn a lot of money or to gain the praise and approval of others. They think little or nothing about the topic of their speech. My observations show that such people rarely rise above the level of mediocrity. But if you really care about a certain topic and want to share your thoughts with people, you will definitely learn how to express yourself effectively.

Speak from the heart

Several years ago I had the opportunity to listen to a talk by Wally Amos, the founder of the Famous Amos cookie company. His speech was dedicated to the fight against illiteracy among adults. Amos himself donates quite a lot of time and money to help older people learn to read. It was clear to everyone present - there were more than 600 people in the hall - that he spoke from the heart. He clearly lacked any special training in public speaking, but Wally organized his thoughts and ideas in a clear logical sequence and spoke with sincerity and passion. He argued how important it is for adults to be able to read and how this skill can change their lives. At the end of the speech, all the listeners stood up and greeted him with thunderous applause, because Amos spoke from the bottom of his heart about what he understood and what deeply worried him.

Sensitive child - hypersensitive adult

A child who in childhood became the object of destructive criticism or “restrained” love, in adulthood is overly concerned with the opinions of others and their attitude towards him. In more complex cases, a person becomes so unsure of himself that he does not decide to take any action until he is sure that all the people significant to him will approve of what he has planned.

Some people are traumatized by the mere thought of having to go out and speak in front of an audience.

Such a painful reaction manifests the fear of failure and rejection, instilled in very early childhood, even before reaching the age of five. But these feelings can be replaced by others - feelings of self-confidence, calmness, competence and self-control.

Many of today's best speakers also had stage fright. They shuddered every time they had to speak in public, even if it was only their colleagues. One of my friends, who today confidently speaks in front of audiences of thousands, even wet his pants during his first performance and was forced to run backstage.

Some tips and tricks

1. No falsehood. Insincerity is easy to spot.

2. During the presentation, do not take anything personally (questions, comments, etc.)

3. Remember: every time you go on stage, you learn something new.

4. Try to avoid any physical barriers between you and the audience (lecterns, tables, podiums) unless provided for by the organization.

5. If you don’t know the correct answer to a question, don’t answer it incorrectly. Use a formula like: “We will return to this issue later.”

6. You can also redirect this question to the audience. This will allow you to both understand the answer and enhance interaction with listeners.

7. It’s good if there are your friends or acquaintances in the hall. Make eye contact with them. This will give you the opportunity to feel surrounded by loved ones and cope with anxiety.

How we are afraid: about the signs and manifestations of phobia

“Long pauses add weight to speech.

“Then I am the most powerful king.”

Quote from the movie "The King's Speech", 2010

Fear appears a few days before the performance. A person can go over in his head the options why the public will not like the speech, think about what kind of criticism it will be subject to. In some ways, this feeling has an obvious benefit - it motivates you to better prepare and plan the details of your speech. But sometimes fear becomes very strong and manifests itself in unpleasant mental and physical symptoms. [1]

Physiological signsPsychological manifestations
Voice clips (timbre, tone, volume of the voice changes, the voice trembles), sometimes stuttering and loss of the ability to speakExcessive self-criticism
Muscle tension, tremorsIncreased anxiety
Dry mouthPanic attacks
CardiopalmusForgetfulness
Blood pressure surgesMood swings
SweatingSuspiciousness
Dizziness, headacheNegativism
NauseaProcrastination
Pressing pain in the heart area
Involuntary urination

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When there is a reason to sound the alarm: from mild excitement to stupor

We must clearly understand: the fear of speaking in front of people is not always a sign of a phobia that has terrible consequences. It is natural to be excited and normal to feel anxious when we are about to make our debut solo concert, our first ever presentation in front of an unfamiliar and large audience. However, we are unlikely to worry if similar events take place in an atmosphere familiar to us: among friends, in front of fellow students, in an office environment.

Psychologists say: low-intensity and short-lived fear is a useful emotion that accumulates our attention, rewarding us with determination, energy, and concentration. As a result, a performance with our active participation turns out to be more exciting, original, effective, and successful. And a routine performance, the preparation for which did not evoke any special sensations in the opponent, is doomed to failure.

However, inexplicable, uncontrollable, all-consuming anxiety that takes over the mind before a standard event: communication with familiar people, rhetoric in a narrow circle of friends is a good excuse for taking drastic measures. Remember, with glossophobia, the fear of communication is not selective: it does not distinguish between the size of the audience, the place of the performance, the importance of the event - it is constant.

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