How to sort out your feelings? Methods and definition of emotions

It is difficult to understand the relationship between two people, because a pair of lovers is a small world, a personal sphere consisting of their thoughts and feelings. There is no way for other outsiders to enter this world.

And yet, regardless of the age of the date and the duration of the relationship, each of us has at least once asked the question: how to understand our feelings? In the small world of two, there are disagreements, a crisis occurs, a storm may rage, hurricanes may spread and tornadoes may arise, demolishing everything in their path. All the bridges and paths, laid out by many hours spent together. In fits of anger, harboring resentment or anger, each of us wanted to give up on this area, on our partner, and leave.

In moments of crisis in a relationship, behind endless fatigue at work, behind the grievances accumulated over the existence of a small world, we often ask ourselves the questions: “What do we feel?”, “Do we love our partners?”, “What to do next to maintain the relationship? » In this article we will try to find out how to understand our feelings for a person, how to find out what we feel for a new person, and whether testing a relationship over time without each other is so terrible.

What makes you want to categorize your feelings?

The question often arises among young girls who, due to inexperience, confuse emotions with feelings for a young man. Guys can often mistake desire for love. Great love is confused with passion.

It is not uncommon for young people to feel false love when a guy or girl is chosen because of the makings of a leader of a large company.

Can these feelings turn into something more? Into strong love, affection, into a strong union, into the personal little world of a couple, which we talked about above? Or are false feelings temporary?

Unfortunately, the desire to sort out their feelings also arises in couples who have been tested for ten years of marriage. How can you sort out all the emotions on your own if everyday life corrodes like acid, the spark and the feeling of warmth and tenderness go out, because it’s far from a solution to destroy your family and go in search of a new person.

Do not torment yourself and do not torment your partner, it is better to give yourself time and indulge in deep analysis, impartial and thorough. Ask yourself honest questions about your relationships and feelings so you can make the right decisions.

How to understand what you feel for a person. Start of communication

It happens that people confuse the concepts of love and passion.
If you met relatively recently, and your thoughts revolve only around him, you cannot sleep peacefully, and during the day you constantly turn your phone in your hands in anticipation of an SMS, congratulations - you have fallen in love! But falling in love and falling in love are two completely different things, and without knowing the differences between one and the other, you risk doing a lot of rash actions. How can you understand your feelings for a person if serious passion has flared up between you, and there is no time to figure out what you are really experiencing?

First of all, you need to realize that this is a temporary stage that will not last forever. The so-called “candy-bouquet period” will pass quite quickly, and the person will begin to reveal a different side to you. It is quite possible that on Fridays he likes to drink with friends in a bar, and not enjoy the work of Russian artists in an art gallery. Accept as an option that your passion is far from a gift, and then his positive qualities will become a pleasant surprise for you.

Difficult female choice

Women have doubts about the correctness of their choice, because life often presents more attractive options for wealthy men, with good professions, similar lifestyles and worldviews. But when there is a man and strong feelings for him, is someone else really needed?

Changing sandals and the color of the car is in women's style, but rushing around when choosing a partner is not an option. Women who are confident in their choice and trust their emotions and feelings can be called happy ladies. To get rid of the overwhelming doubts and thoughts that weigh on you every day, you should know how to learn to understand your feelings. More about this below.

How to understand your feelings for a guy?

Assess how close your partner is to you. To do this, establish how quickly you find common ground, start a list of common topics and interests that you can talk about. If you and your beloved man have a topic that arises by itself, runs like a fast-flowing river, you can safely say: this man is yours.

But if it’s difficult to find a topic for conversation, if the conversation quickly fades away and you feel out of place, feel free to give the guy a turn and look for a new contender for the status of a lifelong partner.

Another option for understanding your feelings for a man is a temporary distance between each other. It may seem to you that a pause in a relationship is disastrous, but psychologists have repeatedly noted: in order to understand your feelings, distance and lack of communication will help you determine your feelings like nothing else. Don't call him, don't write, and don't get noticed while "accidentally" walking in his yard. You yourself will understand how you feel when, over time, you begin to miss him, and his name begins to appear more often in conversations with your girlfriends.

Evaluate your feelings during the meeting after separation, if you don’t care, you can leave this young man.

But although in most cases a break in a relationship helps to understand oneself, it cannot be called a panacea. If separation is not a way for you to sort out your feelings, all you can do is talk. Frankly, without turning into quarrels and mutual reproaches. Speak up and let your partner speak out, maybe he is also tormented by doubts about you as a life partner, or maybe your young man’s head is filled with problems at work, and, tired, he not only has no time for you, he has no time for anything else affairs.

The desire to understand her feelings comes to a woman in the “mother-son” relationship. One of the types of relationships when a woman, taking care of her boyfriend in every possible way, loses herself, dissolving in her partner. You should give up such a relationship or return it to normal, where everyone equally contributes to the relationship between you. You want a reliable man next to you, right?

How to understand your feelings for a guy? Be honest with yourself when examining your relationships and feelings.

How to tell if you like a girl?

Do you like the girl? Or is it just occasional interest ? Should I start courting her and move on to the stage of a serious relationship? Signs:

1. She is beyond competition. When you meet beautiful girls, you understand that they cannot outshine the one around whom your thoughts have been constantly revolving lately. And even if unfamiliar beauties begin to flirt, their coquetry no longer evokes a violent response.
2. You try to see her under any pretext. It doesn’t matter the reason and circumstances of the meeting, how difficult it is for you to get to it and how many things you have to cancel. The most important thing is the time spent in her company.
3. You want to take care of her .
   There is a feeling of anxiety for the girl and a desire to protect her from all problems. If you understand that she will be returning home along a dark alley, adrenaline begins to play in your blood and the desire to immediately be near you.
4. You are afraid to talk to her . You can have brilliant conversations with other girls, but when you find yourself in her company, you are literally speechless. Thoughts get confused, words get stuck in the throat, and the tongue becomes confused. Instead of deft compliments, what comes out is unintelligible babble, and after saying stupid things you want to fall into the ground. This is a sure sign of sincere feelings for a girl.
5. You're jealous of her. She simply communicates with a colleague, acquaintance, former classmate or fellow student. Harmless conversation is combined with polite smiles. But somewhere in the depths of her soul, a bubbling indignation grows, a desire to interrupt the conversation and lead her by the hand away from the stronger sex. Jealousy manifests itself spontaneously and defies logic.
6. You can't take your eyes off her. Moreover, the gaze is not directed at all at the curves of the body in a tight dress. Your eyes are drawn to the familiar dimples on her cheeks, freckles, a small scar on her arm and other little things that you have already learned well and firmly associated with her image.
7. Your mood depends on her mood. If you notice her sad eyes from afar, your mood immediately deteriorates.
   But her smile and ringing laughter cause a surge of inexplicable joy.

Does he love me?

But it also happens that a girl begins to doubt her relationship with her boyfriend, a wife begins to doubt her relationship with her husband due to lack of attention and suspicions of her man. Then the question changes, turning into this: “How to understand a man’s feelings for a lady?” Nice girls worry after several years of relationships in the absence of words of love, due to the lack of attention that they received at the beginning of the relationship. This is explained by the fact that the man has already accepted you as his woman and subconsciously does not consider it necessary to express his love in words every day. What can you do, women love with their ears. Correct yourself, pay attention to the behavior and actions of the young man.

How to know if your man loves you? He cares about you if he does half of this list:

• your boyfriend tries to pick you up from work, goes out with friends, offers to accompany you or pick you up, calls you to find out how you got there;
• topics about the future, in which you also participate, flash in your conversations;
• he calls you to his friends, parents, you spend holidays together and go to parties;
• he treats your children from your ex-husband well;
• he tries to help you with housework, get a bowl from a high shelf without asking;
• he sacrifices his interests, infrequently, but he can spend the day contrary to his desires and plans;
• he avoids even the smallest quarrels and pauses in relationships.

Love or Affection. How to understand whether you love a person or is it just affection

Preoccupation with the thoughts, behavior, and feelings of a “loved” person leads to dependence on his or her approval. The self-perception and self-esteem of a dependent partner reflects the reaction of the “beloved” person. Expressing real emotions and thoughts becomes too risky. Therefore, playing it safe is important and can take the form of repetition or even ritual. For example, a statement such as “if you don't call me from work from nine to three every day, then you don't really love me” is not uncommon. With addiction comes intolerance for the time a couple spends apart from each other. Ownership, jealousy and patronage prevail over trust. A dependent person cannot tolerate being apart, even when there is conflict in the relationship or when the relationship is unhealthy.

Experiencing unhealthy attachment in a relationship, a dependent person, at the slightest possibility of separation, clings tightly to his “other half”, feeling hopeless. Being apart can provoke physical symptoms such as impatience, lethargy or loss of appetite.

Difficulties of husbands

Do not be offended by your husband if he is unable to help his lady sort out her feelings. Men are much less likely to think about feelings, winding themselves up with various “maybes” and having made a choice, as already mentioned, they are less likely to express feelings, manifesting themselves in actions. The stronger sex is also unable to notice your changes in mood and often does not understand what is happening with their girls.

Be lenient with men, because they are used to going ahead, they act clumsily and clearly. Clarify the reasons for your lack of mood, talk about how you feel right now, and if necessary, do not hesitate to contact family psychologists. Keep and protect your family happiness by any means.

Men's feelings

Of course, guys also have a desire to understand themselves and their feelings for a woman. All this is due to doubts about whether the person, the girl who will spend the rest of her life with him, will give birth to a strong child and will support him.

Men who want to decide on their relationship with a girl cannot be deprived of attention. Young people are often afraid to make any serious decisions, for example about long-term relationships, since choice is a responsibility and the privilege of adults.

How can a young guy who has a girl on the horizon for a stable relationship, or a man who doubts the correctness of his choice, understand his feelings? Start by analyzing your relationship.

Stages of falling in love

Falling in love, like love, goes through several stages. The difference is that they are much shorter lasting. Sometimes falling in love can develop rapidly - in a day or two.

1. Attention. A person notices another and directs his attention to him. For this to happen, the object must have some characteristics that are attractive to humans.
2. Interest. Then he takes a closer look at the person, watches him for a while and reflects his interest. There is a desire to communicate, get to know him better and open up yourself.
3. Sympathy. At the next stage, friendly interest develops into romantic interest. A person begins to mentally “try on” another for the role of his beloved. There is a desire to communicate with him more and more often.
4. Passion. As sympathy grows, sexual attraction to a person also increases. I want to merge with him, achieve emotional and physical intimacy.
5. Love. Having gone through all the previous stages, feelings become formalized and well understood. If a mutual process occurs on the other side, then a love relationship begins between people. If not, then falling in love becomes a source of suffering for a person. He has to use his will to frustrate his feelings.

How to understand your feelings for a girl?

Rely on your emotions when trying to figure out your feelings for the lady. Do you have pleasant moments with this person, are the best moments of your life associated with your girlfriend? If yes, then why doubt?

Are you ready to overlook your partner's shortcomings? Small stature, inability to use a knife, too bright lipstick that you don’t like? There are no ideal people, if, despite the shortcomings, you feel warmth next to this person, rest assured: you still have warm feelings for your partner.

Spend more time with her. And not only with her, but also with her parents, friends, bosom girlfriends. Communication with her environment will help you understand how you feel about her, her preferences, and behavior.

Signs of love

True love is manifested in actions and deeds, not in words.

Love is:

• constant care;
• desire not to cause pain;
• unlimited trust;
• spiritual intimacy;
• mutual respect;
• sacrifice, willingness to do anything for the sake of your loved one;
• the ability to let go of your loved one, as long as he is happy;
• the ability to put his interests above your own;
• the desire to become better next to him, self-improvement;
• readiness to come to the rescue, to be with your loved one not only in joy, but also in sorrow.

In no case

A misconception is the fact that both men and women need a short romance on the side to understand themselves and their feelings. Do not cheat on your partner under any circumstances, because the pain brought by cheating will not only worsen your relationship, but also destroy trust and desire for further life together. Even if the affair once again proves to you that you have feelings, you are unlikely to be able to get rid of the pain and shame.

We hope our article will serve as a compass of emotions for you. “How to sort out your feelings?” - the question is simple, and each of us comes to it sooner or later. You should not be afraid of him, it is very difficult to make the right decision, choosing a person, a companion for the rest of your life, give yourself time to make an informed decision.