How to understand yourself, or I want to get happiness from life


What do you think allows a person to live a happy life, always move in the right direction, know exactly his desires and adequately assess his abilities? No, this is not education, not a good promising job, not connections in high circles, and not even an inheritance from his grandfather from Virginia Water. This is a person’s clear idea of ​​himself, or rather a high level of self-knowledge. Indeed, if a person knows himself well and understands the characteristics of his personality, everything in this world is transformed for him. In this collection you will find materials that will give you answers to questions about what self-knowledge is, how you can know yourself, what you need to do for this, what techniques and methods to use. We wish you a pleasant acquaintance!

1

Diary as a universal way of self-knowledge and success

What image appears in your mind when you hear the phrase “keep a diary”? A gray-haired old man who wants to perpetuate his wise thoughts for future generations? A writer who forms prototypes for his works? A teenage girl who trusts her school notebook with her girlish secrets of her first love? You are right in all these cases! And add to this list people who have made an invaluable contribution to science, achieved success in various areas of life, and survived in extreme situations. Keeping a diary helped many of them with this. Read more…

2

Letter to the Future

Imagine yourself in the future. Imagine that you have the opportunity to send your past self a letter containing everything you want. Write down what you have achieved and give an approximate plan of how you achieved it. Write the implementation date. Include absolutely every aspect of your life in this letter:

  • personal qualities (for example: determination, confidence, calmness, etc.)
  • relationships (with your significant other, friends)
  • prosperity (how money comes to you, what benefits you have)
  • the place where you live

Dream on! After that, carefully re-read what you wrote and analyze it.

Self-knowledge: how to understand and use your character traits

Strong character traits are associated with personal and social well-being. Knowing the characteristics of your character, thinking and behavior, you can identify the most outstanding of them and use them in the best possible way in your profession, training and relationships. A feeling of uncertainty, a thirst for self-realization, a lack of internal harmony are signals that push towards self-knowledge. Through understanding ourselves, we can achieve satisfaction of our needs. In the article we will talk about the role of self-knowledge in a person’s life, introduce you to different types of character and give recommendations on how to use this knowledge for your own benefit. Read more…

3

Is it necessary to understand it at all?

Sometimes we start to delve into ourselves over trifles. In fact, behind the desire to understand oneself lies the need for love, new emotions, and radical changes in life. The best thing to do in such a situation is to relax and distract yourself from difficult thoughts. For example, gather with close friends, drink warm tea with your favorite chocolate, or just dream while listening to pleasant, soothing music.

Well, if you decide to do some spring cleaning in your head, so to speak, put everything in order, then you can go to a session with a psychologist. Another option is to read books that help you understand yourself. For example, if you are feeling confused about your romantic feelings, it may be helpful to read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman and “Women Who Love Too Much” by Robin Norwood. Books by M.E. help resolve personal issues. Litvak “If you want to be happy” Deepak Chopra “Seven laws of success”, “Five injuries that prevent you from being yourself” Liz Burbo.

So, if you cannot understand yourself, then the first thing you need to do is calm down. Take a bubble bath and brew some delicious tea. Allow yourself to be distracted and tune in to a positive mood. Surely the problem will seem smaller. Now you can calmly think about solutions. You will definitely be able to find the right answer!

Olesya, Moscow

Mindsight or the path to self-knowledge

The path to harmony begins with self-awareness. But what is self-awareness? This process was described in most detail by one famous doctor, professor at the School of Medicine at the University of California at Los Angeles (USA), director of the Mindsight Institute he founded, Daniel Siegel, who became the founder of a previously virtually unstudied discipline - interpersonal neurobiology (mindsight). The term “mindsight” comes from mind (mind) and insight (insight). The essence of mindsight is to know yourself, which helps to get rid of fears, obsessions, worries, depression, self-doubt and many other personality problems. In this article we will talk about the features of a mindsite and the reasons for its effectiveness. Read more…

4

Diversity of meanings in life


All the variety of meanings has one common feature - a less significant meaning, in order not to become meaningless, must lead to the implementation of a more significant and important one. No matter what goals a person achieves, questions follow him everywhere: “what is all this for, what’s next, what do I want from this life?”

As soon as the next object of a person’s desires sparkles, he immediately tries to achieve what he wants, since the object at that moment seems to be the limit of all desires. After all, a person cannot look beyond the horizon of that object.

As soon as the goal is achieved, new horizons and prospects open up to a person’s gaze, and new objects of desire, against the background of which everything that we strived for before becomes ordinary and disgusting.

No amount of earthly blessings or family happiness can eliminate that pain, that suffering, that meaninglessness that lurks in the depths of the spirit of each of us. But what then can eliminate suffering, how to find the meaning of life, where a person can feel comfortable and be in harmony with himself?

Psychological portrait of yourself

A psychological portrait of oneself (self-image) is a mental picture that is usually quite resistant to change. It depicts not only details potentially accessible to objective research (height, weight, hair color), but also those traits and qualities that a person ascribes to himself, based on personal experience or learned from others. Self-image in its most basic form is an internal picture. This is what and how you think about yourself, based on what you see in the mirror every day, how you communicate with other people, and what kind of productivity you have at work. A psychological self-image is an impression that forms a general idea of ​​your assets and liabilities. In other words, it is how you yourself assess your strengths and weaknesses. Read more…

8

Be aware of your feelings

A person understands himself well when he is able to recognize his own feelings and sensations. Psychotherapist and writer Ilse Sand in the book “Fear of Intimacy. How to stop defending yourself and start loving” says that with full awareness, a person feels his state with his body, mind and impulse (desire). What does it mean? For example, when feeling fear:

  • body trembles (bodily sensation);
  • a person feels the desire to run away, scream (impulse);
  • the brain understands what fear is experiencing (the work of the mind).

The feeling of joy is characterized by the following manifestations:

  • people feel excitement, slight trembling, warmth (body reaction);
  • I want to laugh, jump, sing (impulse);
  • the brain understands that this is joy (the work of the mind).

Ilse Sand explains that some people do not know how to interpret feelings, others are focused on the mind and do not pay attention to what the body feels. Some people don't understand impulses and can't realize what they really want. Most often, people are not aware of the desire (impulse) that is inseparable from feelings.

When a person knows how to record feelings, taking into account all three methods, he is fully aware of his own inner reality and emotional state. Listen to your feelings, analyze how your body reacts to a particular emotion. Ask yourself what desire arises from certain sensations. Study emotions constantly.

Don't try to influence your feelings. Allow them to manifest themselves in full force and become aware of them. Accept that the feeling itself is not dangerous. Even if you feel angry (feeling) and want to be rude or hit (impulse), only the decision to make the desire come true can cause harm, and not the emotions you experience at that moment.

What questions should you ask yourself?

Steve Jobs and Thomas Edison asked themselves the right questions, Rodion Raskolnikov - the wrong ones, Hamlet - controversial ones. They found answers to them and made decisions, performed certain actions, and arrived at certain results. But what is all this for? And to the fact that the questions that we ask ourselves and the answers that we give to them determine a lot in our lives. Therefore, it is important to ask yourself the right questions. The answers to them will be a kind of guide to life that will not let you stray from the right direction and will tell you what to do in difficult times. Read more…

9

Take up meditation

Another way to know yourself is meditation. As he writes in the book “Tools of Giants. Secrets of success, techniques for increasing productivity and useful habits of outstanding people” speaker, writer Timothy Ferris, meditation allows you to step back from the whole world and look at yourself from the outside. In a meditative state, a person calmly observes the course of his own thoughts, rather than rushing about and stumbling over them.

Here are the recommendations for meditation given by T. Ferris:

  1. Meditate in seven-day cycles. A week is the minimum time to get results.
  2. Do not start with long meditations (30‒60 minutes). At the initial stage, sessions of 10 minutes are sufficient.
  3. Later, experiment with the length of the session until you achieve maximum results.


How to understand what you want: Pixabay
Meditation has helped many successful people understand themselves. Today it is practiced:

  • Liv Tyler;
  • Emma Watson;
  • Katy Perry;
  • Oprah Winfrey.

How long does it take to meditate before a person begins to understand himself? Timothy Ferris writes that the Dalai Lama once said that it would take about 50 hours to make significant life changes. But recent research has shown that just 100 total hours of simple sitting meditation is enough for a person to experience change.

“I-concept”: characteristics, features, meaning

The term “Self-concept”, which can be heard today from psychologists of various directions, sociologists and other specialists in the field of the personal sphere of a person, is interpreted as a system of ideas of an individual about himself. These ideas can be perceived by a person to varying degrees and be relatively stable. This concept is the result of a person’s self-knowledge and self-evaluation through individual images within various real and imagined situations, as well as through the opinions of others and a person’s correlation of himself with them. Taking into account the relevance of this topic, we want to talk about the “I-concept”. Read more…

10

Summary

Self-determination is a stable subjective position of an individual in relation to himself and the world. An indicator of harmonious self-determination is the unity of words and deeds, desires and responsibilities. A person with a clear position focuses only on himself, he does not hesitate in difficult situations of choice, and does not succumb to the opinions and influence of others.

Harmonious self-determination includes a value-semantic core (needs, interests, personal values), space for the individual’s self-realization, the creative nature of self-realization, future planning and prospects, the meaning of life, a positive outlook on the world.

A lifestyle that inhibits personal development and is based on values ​​condemned by society is called illusory self-determination. Example: the life of a thief or the wild lifestyle of a person living one day at a time. Productive self-realization, based on socially approved values ​​and promoting personal development, is called real self-determination.

Online program "Self-knowledge"

In this program, in just 4 weeks, with the help of psychological tests and exercises, you will find out what you really want in life, understand your strengths and weaknesses, realize the characteristics of your internal motivation and thinking, learn to use the characteristics of your character, determine your values, creative and professional predispositions that will help you find a job you like; you will understand how to demonstrate your leadership and team qualities not only at work and in business, but also in family and relationships. In addition to all the knowledge gained, you will receive recommendations for practical use in life. Find out more...

Self-knowledge is the road to a life that has no regrets and can be lived with pleasure again. Start it immediately, and then there will be many more happy days in your life!

We also recommend reading:

  • Storytelling
  • Conditions for character formation
  • MAC therapy: the first step on the path to yourself
  • Self-knowledge: how to understand and use your character traits
  • Exercises for self-knowledge
  • Practical benefits of self-knowledge
  • Effective methods of self-knowledge
  • “What is in your character?”
  • Secrets of inventors: a selection of useful materials
  • Diary as a universal way of self-knowledge and success
  • Rules and secrets of self-education

Key words:1Self-knowledge

Explore your desires

It is completely natural for a person to at times not understand his desires, which brings a feeling of dissatisfaction. Motivational speaker, writer Barbara Sher in the book “What to Dream About. How to understand what you really want and how to achieve it” writes: a person can only be happy when he is busy with what he wants to do.

Often people cannot determine what exactly they want, and therefore do not take the first step. Sher writes that 98% of Americans are unhappy at work, but cannot change it because they do not understand what they want to do. The author advises not to choose a direction in life based on skills. You need to do what a person really loves.

To understand your desires, Barbara suggests answering the following questions:

  1. What do I do most often throughout my life?
  2. What have I enjoyed doing most in the past?
  3. What have I never liked to do?
  4. Who am I in my fantasies and what do I dream about in them?
  5. What am I afraid of?

Be completely honest when giving your answers. Analysis will help you understand your own true desires and intentions.

“No” to self-flagellation!

Many people are prone to self-digging, but to achieve inner harmony it is necessary to get rid of it. A person will be able to understand what he wants only when he learns to accept himself for who he is. There is no need to compare yourself with others, they have different values, desires and a different path. You need to accept your shortcomings and positive qualities. Trying to become perfect, a person destroys himself from the inside. When you realize that no one is perfect, it will become much easier to accept and love yourself.

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