ᐉ Tell the man that you are breaking up. How to tell a guy that we are breaking up? When not to write

Breaking up a relationship is a rather painful procedure, even if nothing holds the couple together anymore.
And if at least one of the participants in the relationship still has feelings, the conversation will be even more difficult.

Due to the peculiarities of temperament, it is always more difficult for a woman to talk about a breakup, and it is more difficult for a man to accept it. How to behave and what to say to make the break as easy as possible?

The best phrases to break up with a man

How to break up with a man? What should I tell him? In this article you will find the best phrases to break up with a man.

Parting with someone whom you just recently called your loved one is not at all easy. Often women delay this unpleasant moment and avoid a farewell meeting, thereby aggravating the situation. Parting always has a negative connotation, however, even after it you can maintain friendly relations and not destroy all the good things that once connected you. Whatever the reason, by initiating a breakup, we are essentially telling the man that we no longer love him. Of course, this causes him unbearable pain, but by choosing the right words, you will reduce the force of the blow to his feelings and pride.

Statuses on social networks are an effective tool

Another tool that will tell a guy more than you yourself is statuses on social networks. Their text may hurt your ex, make him regret the breakup, or tell him that you miss you:

Now I'm finally free and happy.
How good it is to free yourself from the shackles of jealousy and constant discontent.
I’m starting to live with a clean slate – I can breathe easier.
I am considering applicants for the vacant position of a loved one.
Try to make me happy, my ex failed.
I am free like a bird in the sky, I can finally spread my wings.
Looking for inspiration to write a new love story.
Love has passed, the tomatoes have wilted, but this is only for the better.
Everyone has their own limit of patience, mine burst, but I don’t regret it one bit.
There are no irreplaceable people.
“Love was without joy, separation will be without sorrow.” (M. Yu. Lermontov).
Is love evil? No, I'm not a goat to love a goat!
“If you can’t get closer, people move further away.” (Franz Kafka).
I’m ready to forgive and start over, but I can’t say about it, and you won’t guess it yourself.
By the way, yes, by the way, there is your half of the bed here... (Evgenia Rybakova).
Only by parting with a person do you find out who he really is.

On the vastness of the World Wide Web, if you wish, you can find many more short but succinct quotes from famous personalities that will express your feelings better than yourself. Finally, the same advice: love yourself more than anyone, then parting will not be so painful. Goodbye.

We offer the best phrases that will help you break up with a man with dignity.

Don't be afraid to take decisive action

The understanding that your relationship no longer has prospects, as a rule, does not come immediately. But one day a moment comes when you realize that parting is the only way out of this situation. It would seem that you just need to explain to the person the reason for your decision and go to different sides without mutual claims and insults. However, in practice everything turns out to be much more complicated. Not every woman can calmly say, “We can’t be together anymore,” preferring to delay this moment, thereby causing the man even more pain.

Family and interpersonal relationship psychologists advise acting as decisively as possible in such cases. There is no need to put off the farewell meeting, and even more so, there is no need to give a person false hope. Parting is like a point in a story after which there can be no continuation. Often women choose the most painless phrases for saying goodbye, for example, “Now I want to be alone,” “Let’s break up for a while,” “Let’s just be friends,” etc. At first glance, these phrases seem ideal for a civilized breakup. But in fact, they cause great harm to both you and your partner. The meaning of these phrases is that you have not yet finally decided whether you want to break up with the person or not. Accordingly, you will not be able to put a firm end to the relationship, and the man will live with the hope that very soon everything will be as before.

The farewell phrase should be unambiguous, decisive and uncompromising. Having heard it, a man must understand that separation is an inevitable fact that has no alternatives. But, at the same time, there is no need to part on a negative note, thereby crossing out everything that connected you previously. Even if you leave a man because of his mistakes and actions, try to pacify your resentment without bringing the situation to a scandal.

An example of successful phrases for breaking up with a man

“Right now I’m not ready for a serious relationship, neither with you nor with anyone else.”
“I realized that I don’t love you.”
“We have different paths, we cannot be together.”
"My feelings for you have changed."
"We do not understand each other".
"We are too different to be together."
"We have little in common."
“Sorry, we can’t be together. Thank you for being in my life."

Breaking up with a man at a distance

It is especially difficult to break up with a person who is far away from you. If possible, still try to organize a personal meeting where you can explain to the man the reason for your action and dot the i’s. However, if no alternatives exist, for example, the person is in another city or country, and you will not see each other in the near future, you should not postpone the separation “for later”. Under any circumstances, you need to say goodbye to a man when you realize there are no prospects in the relationship.

When a personal meeting is excluded, you are left with several options to say the last “goodbye” - video communication, telephone conversation, email or SMS. Choose a method of communication that will allow not only you, but also the man to speak out. For example, by writing a farewell SMS or letter to a young man, you will, so to speak, “drive him into a corner,” because he will not be able to fully fend off your accusations. In addition, your words may be interpreted by him in a completely different way than you intend. If you want your breakup to be as beautiful and dignified as possible, talk to your man via video or phone. This way you can not only speak out, but also listen to his opinion.

If your relationship developed primarily at a distance, emphasize the fact that you can no longer live alone and want your loved one to be near you. But, at the same time, let him know that you are not ready to change your life for his sake, and therefore you have made the final decision to break up.

What mistakes are unacceptable?

After the breakup has occurred, many women make the same mistake - they return to the person with whom they stopped communicating on their own initiative. This is great stupidity, which most likely will not lead to anything good. If once a decision was made to terminate the union, then there is a high probability that this will happen again in the future. You must respect your choice and not give in to the persuasion and promises of a man. After a while everything will be forgotten, it is important to endure only the first weeks.

Another mistake is looking for a new partner to fill the void. It’s definitely not worth rushing into the arms of the first person you come across, as this will most likely lead to even greater suffering. You need to be alone for some time to understand yourself and understand what kind of person should be like with whom you can create new happiness. Then you can begin to consider possible options.

Another mistake is not taking care of your appearance. If a woman becomes lonely, this is not a reason to neglect herself and turn into an unkempt housewife. On the contrary, you need to start taking care of yourself even more, because no one knows at what moment a fateful meeting with a person who will fill your life with real happiness may occur.

Also, under no circumstances should you interfere in the life of your ex-man. After breaking up, there is no need to call him, write to him, find out about his affairs and be interested in his personal life. Most likely, there will be no friendship between former partners, so it is better to stop all communication immediately after separation.

What should I do: write or tell my boyfriend personally that we are breaking up?

Some people in relationships often realize that they have become strangers to each other and decide to break up. Taking such a step is not easy. However, if you have already decided everything for yourself, but don’t know what to say to your guy when breaking up, try to do it as tactfully as possible. After all, breaking up can sometimes be even more difficult than finding your soulmate.

Why do marriages fail?

Photo by cottonbro: Pexels
The main reason for divorces in general lies in the concept of why a person creates a family, and what burden he is ready to bear after becoming a husband or wife. No matter how boring and trivial it may sound, you can only connect yourself with someone who will meet your views on the world and family.

It’s a pity that schools don’t teach how to approach the choice of potential spouses and what stages young families go through. Knowing in advance that there are crises and they are inevitable, many people would direct their efforts to overcome them. If the family is holding together only nominally, and you have decided to leave your husband, then the question arises of how to tell him about it.

In fact, in 70 out of 100% people tell each other about the decision to break up at the moment of acute conflict or scandal. The remaining 30% is when the crisis has passed and problems within the family have not been resolved.

There may be several reasons for divorce and many of them could have been avoided, but there are situations when divorce is the best solution for everyone. Latent conflicts in the family entail serious consequences for the psyche of both or one.

How to tell a man about your decision to divorce?

How to tell a guy about breaking up

Breaking up is not an easy process for both partners, regardless of which of them initiated the breakup. Many couples hesitate for a long time to burn all their bridges, hoping to survive a crisis in their relationship or simply letting go of the situation.

There is nothing worse than the feeling of being in limbo. Uncertainty is exhausting and gradually still forces people to make such a difficult decision. Choosing their words, the girls recklessly hope to smooth out the separation with them. However, whatever method you choose for such a conversation, know that it will be unpleasant for the young man.

Delicacy and frankness are exactly the qualities that will help make a breakup less painful. You should think it over again and find the courage to admit to your ex-lover that you want to break up. There are several ways to do this.

Via message

In the age of modern technology, we are all accustomed to using the Internet to solve any everyday problems. Most girls believe that there is nothing easier than writing to a guy about a breakup on a social network or via SMS. However, this is not quite true.

It is wrong to use the World Wide Web to resolve issues related to your personal life. This method is suitable for those people who cannot decide to begin this unpleasant procedure or are afraid of offending their once loved one.

Having carefully weighed all the arguments that prompted you to make such a decision, write to the young man that you want to have a serious conversation with him. Having waited for the counter question that served as the reason for the conversation, clearly and clearly formulate your thoughts. Do not reproach him for anything, this can only delay the moment of separation, because almost everyone tends to justify themselves in case of accusation.

Emotionality will also be unnecessary, so first try to calm down. Any negative memory associated with a young man will give you more determination. Just don't get angry about it.

“How exactly should I write that we are breaking up?” - this is not an easy question, requiring thought over the text of the address to the guy. With a message, you should simply notify the person of your intention, and not offend. You should not use general phrases about how you are not suitable for each other, you have different characters, etc. Your reason is individual, so think about what exactly to write to a guy when breaking up to express your feelings.

Some girls use messages about a breakup to revive faded feelings in their partner. This is a big mistake. You should not play with the feelings of other people; you may be disappointed with the result if your loved one suddenly accepts your offer to break up.

The message text should look something like this:

“Hey, (boyfriend’s name), we need to meet with you and have a serious talk. I can’t continue dating you anymore, I’m sorry.”
“Hey, (guy's name). We need to talk about us, I can’t suffer anymore.”
“Hello, (boyfriend’s name). Thank you very much for everything that happened between us, but I decided to leave. Let's meet today and talk."

Do not use affectionate words in the text, this may lead the young man to think that you are simply upset and thus want to attract attention to yourself. Or he will think that you can still be convinced. Stand firm on your decision if you intend to separate.

In person

“How can I personally tell my boyfriend or husband that we are breaking up?” - this question worries many representatives of the fair sex. A personal meeting may shake your intentions, since most likely you will observe the frustration on the face of your ex-lover, and this is very difficult.

Choose a time that is convenient for both of you to meet. You shouldn't have these conversations after work. Fatigue can negatively affect your mood and make conversations confusing. Do not make an appointment in places with which you have fond memories. A small cafe or an ordinary park is suitable for dialogue, the main thing is that it is quiet there and you don’t have to raise your voice.

Stay calm without lashing out with accusations or tears. Say directly that you don’t want to continue the relationship anymore and that’s it. If a guy asks you about the reasons for the breakup, explain. Say that you endured and doubted for a long time, but still made this decision.

No matter how sad and painful you may be, try to think that a reliable companion will appear in your life who will never have to say anything like that. Therefore, you should not continue dating an unloved person out of pity for him. It's humiliating.

When returning home after a breakup, think about what to write to your guy and whether it’s worth doing it at all. If you decide that there is some unsaidness left between you, ask him for forgiveness for your directness. But under no circumstances offer to remain friends. Firstly, because it is simply impossible. Secondly, if the guy agrees, then all his actions will be aimed at regaining your affection. And some representatives of the stronger sex may even seek to renew the relationship in order to take revenge on you, becoming the initiator of a breakup in the future.

Good reasons for breaking up

The reason for breaking up a relationship can be different, because each person is individual and has his own idea of things that are unacceptable to him. Among the generally accepted reasons for separation are the following:

treason,
new love,
bad habits (alcohol, drug addiction and sometimes even smoking),
intimate incompatibility
cooling of feelings or disappointment in a partner.

The fact of revealed betrayal is probably one of the most offensive reasons for female representatives. Although some girls have different attitudes to this, trying to look for the reasons for what happened within themselves or justifying their loved one by the thoughtlessness of the act or the polygamy of all men in general. However, the fact remains that betrayal is a betrayal that should not be forgiven. After all, there are no guarantees that this will not happen again.

It is difficult to blame girls for suddenly flaring up feelings for another person if they honestly declare this to their boyfriend. No one can explain the nature of love, so you shouldn’t fight yourself if you are absolutely sure that this feeling will not dissolve soon.

If a young man does not take into account the fact that it is unpleasant for you to watch him in a drunken state, then this is an indicator of the degree of his respect for you. Adverse habits that a guy carefully hid during the dating period can gradually destroy a couple. Think about what this could lead to in the future and draw the right conclusion.

For many couples, intimacy plays a significant role in the relationship. For this reason, dissatisfaction with sex or perverted fantasies of a partner can serve as a reason for separation.

It often happens that suddenly a loved one begins to cause irritation. Trying to explain to yourself what caused this attitude, you will soon catch yourself thinking that the guy does not suit you on many points. And this indicates a cooling of feelings towards him. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to fix anything in this case, and breaking up will be the only right solution.

The key to any healthy relationship is harmony. If it has disappeared in your couple, you should not aggravate the situation by continuing a meaningless relationship.

What not to do

How to break up with a guy or a man correctly, without making mistakes? Girls are emotional beings, so often breaking up relationships doesn’t go well.

What to avoid first:

Don't hold a grudge. If the breakup occurs during a period when the girl is angry, very upset or offended, this can lead to a mistake. Often the weaker sex, after it has cooled down, begins to realize its own stupidity;
You cannot use breakup as a method of manipulation. A simple example is when a girl starts to demonstratively pack her things and leave, knowing that the guy will stop. This will not always be the case; sooner or later his patience will run out;
Hysterics, tears, reproaches. If, before breaking up, you try to tell your partner everything that doesn’t suit you, this will lead to a deterioration in the relationship. Do not forget that both will also live in the same city, having mutual friends. It is possible that someone may need help from their ex;
You cannot take gifts unless you want to be branded as a petty person with an unstable psyche. Often men are guilty of this, but women, in a fit of emotion, can also demand this;
You shouldn’t immediately find a new man after a breakup, especially among mutual friends. This will not characterize the woman from the best side; further “good relations” with her ex will no longer be possible;
Refuse further correspondence and calls, at least until the passion subsides. If a couple and a child have separated, you can communicate and see each other only on business and in public places. It is possible that the girl will miss her boyfriend, but these emotions should also be kept under control;
A man can love and wait for his girlfriend for a long time, even if she left him. Therefore, returns, contacts and “innocent” flirting are completely excluded. You shouldn’t give the guy hope that you can still get it back and make him suffer.

You can't use breakup as a way to manipulate

What to do if you have doubts about a breakup

When deciding that it is impossible to continue the relationship, first answer the question of whether you will regret what you did. Most girls tend to make decisive conclusions spontaneously based on emotions. In moments of sadness and despair, you can make a big mistake, for which many subsequently reproach themselves for the rest of their lives.

Evaluate your feelings for your guy. If you realize that you still treat him with warmth and care, then this most likely means that you should not break up just yet.

Try to take a break to imagine how you will continue life without him. Do not voice this intention to anyone, including your boyfriend. Tell him that you are going on a business trip or visiting a friend or relative for a couple of days. You don't have to lie to him. During the trip, you will have the opportunity to think about what to do next.

Watch the guy from the outside, weighing all the advantages and disadvantages. Answer yourself the question: can you build a family with this person? If not, then why do you need such a relationship? Any normal person always strives to spend as much time as possible with his chosen one or chosen one. If you don't need it, then why develop such a relationship?

Look around, sometimes it helps. Noticing shortcomings in strangers, some girls begin to appreciate what they have even more.

Strive to build a harmonious relationship with your partner and do not hesitate to talk about what does not suit you. By resolving all conflict issues at once, you will not accumulate negativity within yourself, and the thought of separation will never touch you. Be happy.

What to write to dump him via SMS

If you have decided to leave a young man via SMS, it is important to choose the right words for this. It is best to compose the text of the message in such a way that the man understands that it’s not about him, he is good and caring, but together you cannot have a strong relationship, or you simply stopped loving him and are not ready to continue the relationship. There is no need to use harsh words and try to hurt or offend the young man - it is always better to part on a good note.

You can start by writing words of gratitude for the time spent together and for the pleasant moments. Then you need to mention that you wish the young man happiness and that he meets a girl with whom he will definitely have a strong alliance. And it is definitely important to indicate the reason for the breakup, so that the young man can understand your actions: have you stopped loving him, do you want to try your luck with someone else, do you have other reasons for the breakup.

How to break up if he still has feelings for you

Typically, this question arises from the initiator of a divorce or termination of communication. Regardless of whether it is a lover or a legal spouse, or perhaps a temporary lover for whom you yourself did not have any special feelings, you still need to gently prepare your other half for the conversation, and not immediately begin decisive action.

The main problem for the initiator is the lack of understanding of the other party. No, don’t expect a loving guy to say “Yes, everything is fine, I think so too,” he will talk about the amazing time we spent together, try to win you back.

The main rule is that there is no doubt. It is necessary to decide everything for yourself in advance and finally and then not retreat back. The second recommendation is don’t feel guilty. It’s not your fault that you didn’t succeed in developing an ideal relationship, and you don’t have to suffer and be burdened by communicating with an unloved person.

The main reasons that delay the breakup are:

Compassion and pity - strong love cannot be built on these feelings.
Guilt.
Fear for your own future. Many people think that having lost this partner, she will not find another suitable one, which is completely wrong.

All these impulses and thoughts must be overcome.

What's the best way to break up with a married man?

Sometimes the romance is so stormy that the partner has to cheat. What if they cheat with you? Not every girl wants to feel like a mistress, especially if her status does not plan to change in the near future. In such a separation, you also need to be decisive, but also wise - you should not ruin the life of your lover.

Reasons for breaking up with a married man

Usually the reasons are that:

The wife becomes not only a lover, but also a friend, the mother of his children. Therefore, according to statistics, no more than 5% of all womanizers leave their families for another woman, while half of the given percentage returns back.
Unusuality in everyday life. Typically, such couples spend dates with an extravaganza of feelings due to the danger and rare meetings full of passion, but the prospect of continuing the relationship and getting closer threatens the obligatory grinding process. And this again means responsibilities, housework, quarrels - many people don’t want this.
Constant lies - both on your part and on his part in front of the family. Have you also become an object of deception?
You have to share a bed with a legitimate “third wheel.” It is unpleasant to realize that a lover needs (or maybe wants?) to make love with his wife.
Material wealth mostly goes into the family nest, and envy appears.

When should you break up?

CONTENT:

If mutual understanding, trust and passion have disappeared in the relationship between a man and a woman, and this has been replaced by eternal quarrels, suspicions and reluctance to intimate intimacy, most likely, it is unlikely that anything will be able to change. No one is immune from this. Immediately after meeting, everything can be just perfect, but after a year or several years, serious problems can begin in the couple. If a woman feels deeply unhappy next to a man, she should think carefully about whether to continue such a union.

The decision to end a relationship is not an easy one to make. Sometimes you have to seek psychological help to understand yourself and find out your true desires. Perhaps a visit to a psychologist will help you make a serious decision and take a step towards freedom. But if the desire to end the connection has already become very strong and conscious, all that remains is to muster up the courage and carry out your plans.

How to break up with your lover

Adultery is a common practice among married women. This is a pleasant break from everyday life, a way of revenge or an opportunity to feel desired. But sometimes such a connection comes to an end - the soul has ceased to be attracted to the beloved, or rational reasons for the break have appeared, or other circumstances. The main difficulty of separation is that the legal spouse does not find out about the betrayal, so it is necessary to separate peacefully from your lover.

If you still love him

Feelings may remain, but needs require a break; for example, if there is a threat of disclosure, the husband begins to suspect something. In this case, you must use one of the following methods:

Make everything beautiful. Arrange a farewell romantic evening, you need to honestly reveal all your cards - explain why family is more important to you. If a person is loving and understanding, he will let you go.
Don't give up until the last minute. Time heals, but repeated meetings will only make the situation worse.
If it is not possible to quickly break the connection, do it gradually, weaning yourself from constant meetings.
Look for flaws. Yes, he is good-looking and charming, but the main thing is that he is a forbidden fruit, that’s why he’s so drawn to you. But for sure, like every person, he has significant disadvantages. Finding them will help you take the plunge.
Find an emotional replacement. Get joy from a new hobby, go on a trip or change your job to a more attractive one. Pleasant changes will drown out the bitterness of loss.
Sign up for my consultation. I will help you cope with many internal problems and give you the opportunity to understand yourself.

If he doesn't want it

It’s worse if the lover himself is quite happy with his status, loves you and does not want to part with you. In this case, to avoid running into an open scandal, follow the recommendations:

Do not insult your lover, do not point out his shortcomings.
Find a worthy cause, but don't make it out of hand.
Be restrained and even cold when meeting. You can talk about your problems and ask him to solve them. This will probably make you less desirable in his eyes.
Do not resort to blackmail, do not give in to persuasion to stay in response to silence on his part.

Consider the lover's psychotype

Depending on their character, people react differently to a breakup:

Choleric people can flare up and show excessive aggression, be careful.
Melancholic people are vulnerable, they do not tolerate a breakup well, they can be deeply offended and very worried.
Sanguine people are good friends and optimists; they are generally understanding and will easily accept an offer to separate.
Phlegmatic people are calm, they will not object or fight for affection, but will accept the current situation.

Advice from a psychologist when breaking up with a loved one

Modern psychology covers all parts of human life. You can contact her in case of an unpleasant, painful breakup. Experts advise using five steps to ease suffering:

Step one. Stop resisting negative emotions and finally cry. Tears are the most effective remedy. They heal heart and soul wounds. Remember the axiom: the longer you hold yourself back, the brighter the feeling of loss and bereavement becomes.
Step two. Sublimate negative energy. Channel your accumulated potential into work. Redo household chores, introduce a new hobby or interesting hobby into your routine. Write a list of a hundred things to do, it is important to get them done before the new year, put your workplace in order, sort out bookshelves and cabinets with things.
Step three. Change your image. A very effective remedy, young ladies resort to it unconsciously. A new haircut, hair color, change in style have a miraculous effect. Helps to distract yourself and get a charge of positive emotions.
Step four. Change of environment. Don't have the strength to live in a shared apartment? Then change your home, go on vacation and enjoy the sea tide, mountain landscape, forest air. A change of environment has a beneficial effect on the psyche.
Step five. Compassion. Help those in need - give vent to emotional experiences. Charity and good deeds heal the soul and heal wounds. You can go to an animal shelter, help the poor, become a volunteer.

After going through the five steps to recovery, a person feels relief. The feeling of weakness begins to dissolve, more and more strength appears. The desire to live, create and work arises again. You can feel sorry for yourself under a soft blanket, shedding tears over sweet correspondence from the past. But it’s better to make an effort and change your life.

After a breakup, not everyone can immediately get back on their feet and return to a full life. Psychologists advise giving yourself a break, taking a vacation and immersing yourself in experiences. Everyone decides for themselves:

Spend time with friends.
Talk frankly with your friend.
Go to the countryside.
Travel to another country or city.
Stay at home and watch your favorite movies and TV series.

The main thing is that this time is beneficial. After all, it is not only those who find themselves abandoned who experience this. It is important not to return the relationship, not to write messages: “how are you?”, “I’m sorry I hurt you,” and so on.

How beautiful and dignified it is to part with the man you love

In this case it will not be painless. The loved one, even if he tries to accept the situation with consent, will unconsciously open the wound. Any meeting or mention of yourself can cause pain. But there are several ways that will help reduce the negative consequences.

If you are the initiator

The reason may be coldness on the part of the man. If you feel the first signs of a breakup, keep your pride and take this step. For this:

Be frank when talking, but restrain your emotions - don’t throw yourself around with tears, but don’t slap them in the face screaming about allowed youth.
Don't give in to persuasion. If you decide to leave, don't give up.
Do not give the opportunity to interpret the words differently - be extremely precise in your wording.
You should not go to the last meetings, arrange farewell parties, they will just become another.

And if he is the initiator

In this case, you just need to maintain your own dignity and inner peace. For this:

Find the motive. It is worth understanding why the breakup occurred. If the reason is you, this is a reason for introspection and change.
Identify its shortcomings and list them.
Give yourself time to cry - a day, three, a week, no more. When the term expires, cross him out of your life.
Tell a friend, a diary, or a professional about grief - sign up for my consultation.
Focus on yourself - on your career, appearance and sports, hobbies, new learning.
Perceive the past positively, remember the beautiful with joy that it happened, and not with bitterness that it has passed.