How to interest a man: 7 rules of correspondence, how to hook and attract his attention

How to properly correspond with a man: 7 rules

Today, girls have a greater chance of meeting a modern prince on the Internet.
Successful communication through messages with a young man they like presupposes compliance with a certain behavioral algorithm.

7 rules for communicating by correspondence with a man, according to psychologists:

Be polite. It is important to behave adequately in any topic of conversation; you should not show your irritation or impatience. Even if the interlocutor often disappears from the dialogue, you need to control yourself and not speak out on this matter.
Talk about topics that interest him. It is advisable to study the pages of his social networks and understand what kind of things the interlocutor is interested in. Interest in his hobbies will help you easily maintain dialogue in the future.
Write correctly. Frequent mistakes can turn a man off.
Laugh at a man's jokes. This will flatter him. Young people enjoy having a dialogue with a girl who has a sense of humor. It is important not to resort to vulgar jokes.
Be honest. You cannot start communication with lies, even the smallest ones. The lie will later be revealed, and this may cause conflict.
Be careful when choosing topics for communication. At first it is better not to discuss religion or past relationships.
Be unpredictable. Men love variety and mysterious women, so it is important to show your interlocutor different moods. It is important to behave appropriately so as not to look strange.

Psychologists recommend not using emoticons and pictures in messages to a man at first. The text should contain only words without strong emotional connotations.

Examples from psychology

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A correspondence relationship can end in either a real relationship or a breakup.

A young man met a girl on a dating site. He wrote messages to her, the girl answered, but she did not show initiative to communicate - her messages were only answers to his questions. As a result, the initially serious-minded young man began to fear that he was imposing himself on the girl. He began to write less often. After some time on the social network, the girl wrote in her status: “I no longer believe in love, especially virtual love.” Then the gentleman, through mutual friends, got her phone number. A phone call clarified all the details. After six months of dating, the couple got married.

Another example can be given. A woman and a man were dating. Due to work, the guy was forced to leave for another city. For six months they maintained relations through social networks, phone calls and SMS. However, over time, the messages became shorter and the calls became less frequent. As a result, the woman told the man that she could no longer live like this and was putting an end to the relationship.

Love by correspondence

So, long-distance relationships through correspondence are possible. Sometimes this is how real feelings are born. However, serious relationships require dating. Correspondence is effective at the initial stage of communication. It cannot replace hugs, kisses, sex. If the man has serious intentions, the correspondence turns into dating mode. Otherwise, the relationship fades away.

How to intrigue him, lure him in and not impose himself

There is an opinion that women's initiative is punishable. In a sense, this is true, but no one forbids sometimes writing first, showing the young man an interest in communication. Coldness and ignoring are just as repulsive as intrusiveness.

Basic rules for unobtrusive correspondence with a man:

messages from a woman should be more often in response than initiating communication;
the text must be shorter than in a message from a man;
You cannot respond to messages instantly; it is important to wait a few minutes.

The girl must keep in mind that she creates her own image in correspondence. The texts a man receives characterize her as a person in his eyes.

You can’t constantly complain about life and create in his head the image of an unlucky crybaby . Only a successful girl can truly hook a guy.

General rules

The reason for meeting a young man online can be a like on a photo, a nice comment, or a smiley face. If the guy answered them, you can write the first message. But we need to build the dialogue correctly. Follow the recommendations of experienced pickup artists:

Be sure to greet the man. Make it casual and original. “Salute!”, Hi, I’ve never seen fish like those in your photo from the “Travel” album. Tell me.”
Please wait for an answer. Let an hour or a day pass. If a man drags his feet with letters, also take a long pause.
Ask what he does in life, what his interests are. Keep quiet about yourself for now, create intrigue. The guy will probably study your profile himself.
Do not use complex, ornate syllables in your letters. Choose simple, easy vocabulary.
Don't track your boyfriend's visits to the site. He may be in “Invisible” status and log into the messenger not only to communicate with you, but also with other users. Resentment due to silence at the initial stage of communication is inappropriate.
Do not comment on all his posts, photos, videos. Assertive behavior will push a man away and he will feel an invasion of his personal space.
Do not send pictures or videos in bulk. The male sex is annoyed by gifs and songs in personal messages. Although everyone has different tastes. If you feel that you can interest him in this way, use this method, just select photos and articles that will hook him.
Think in advance about what to ask the guy in correspondence. Smart men ignore stupid questions. Study it, read the answers carefully, react to changes in tone and behavior.
Act like a lady. Do not use slang, swear words, or vulgar jokes. Be careful with abbreviations and foreign words. “PZHL”, instead of please, computer, soap and so on make the speech rude, as if the dialogue is being conducted with a robot. Exude sensuality, emotion, tenderness.

Men love simplicity. They are attracted by easy communication, they feel that the woman wants to please. Keep it simple, don’t emphasize your superiority, then the guy will definitely want to continue communication at least at the level of friendship.

On a note! Before you interest a guy, get your profile in order. Upload a fresh photo, delete unnecessary friends, leave ambiguous groups dedicated to virtual, female pickup and others.

How can you tell if a guy is interested in you?

You can’t constantly complain about life and create in his head the image of an unlucky crybaby.
The first sign indicating his interest will be the desire to find a girl on all social networks. It will be interesting for a young man to look at photographs and know a little more about the life of his interlocutor.

You can determine a guy’s level of interest by the following signs:

he writes first;
tries to hold the dialogue as long as possible;
often online waiting for a “meeting”.

The main indicator of successful communication is how willingly a guy talks about himself and shares his secrets. This sign can be checked using careful leading questions about family, childhood, work, etc.

Don't be afraid to speak in person

Yes, text messages shorten distances and writing them is much easier than telling a person everything you think to their face. But let's be adults. Some issues can only be resolved and discussed in the proper atmosphere and through direct contact. For example, you write a beautiful love message, your boyfriend receives it at the moment when he is clearing the clog from the sink. It is unlikely that he will be able to appreciate all his charm and sincerity. Remember that when you send a message, you don't know what your man is doing at that moment, and circumstances really mean a lot.

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What questions can and should be asked, and what not?

Proper dialogue at the beginning of communication is the key to successful relationships in the future.

There are topics that are best left untouched, and there are questions that need to be asked first:

Ask about lifestyle, hobbies, interests. It is important to show interest as men love it when a woman shares their hobbies and is curious.
Ask for advice on a topic in which he understands. But don’t burden him with your problems right away.
Ask for help. This should be a simple request, but you should definitely praise the guy for solving the problem.

What to write

Many girls needlessly worry a lot before meeting a new person, since starting a correspondence with a guy is very easy. Follow simple rules:

Make an original move. Don’t write a banal greeting and an invitation to get to know each other. Carefully study the man’s VKontakte profile, find out what he is interested in. In the first message, ask for advice or praise something. For example, he loves to take photographs. Admit that you have always dreamed of learning how to work with Photoshop and ask for advice.
Exaggerate your interest in what the guy likes. We saw that he loves rock. Ask when a popular band's next concert is.
Ask the right questions. They must concern the interests of the man. Consider the age of the interlocutor. If a guy is an adult, he's not interested in talking about GCSEs. It’s better to talk with him about the future, family, cars, work.

How to surprise a man via SMS

You can surprise a man in a virtual conversation only with the help of surprise.

The best emotions will be caused by photos sent via SMS.

If the woman remained distant throughout the entire period of communication, wrote briefly and reservedly, then she may cause genuine surprise with a sudden offer to meet. The male sex does not understand female hints and cannot read minds, so occasionally you can directly state your desires.

Photos sent via SMS will evoke the best emotions. Pictures should be beautiful, but not vulgar.

Personal boundaries come first

Yes, it will be difficult, but try to imagine that every person is free and can do what he wants, when he wants. Even your boyfriend. Don't make him think that you now control every aspect of his life and even his thoughts. Remember that sometimes a person may not have the time or desire to respond to you immediately. Don't get too hung up on it. After all, this does not mean at all that the person forgot about you or immediately ran to cheat with others. He didn't answer, that's what happened. Resign yourself and don't pay attention to it. None of us signed a commitment to respond to every text message within 15 seconds.

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How and what to write to get a guy to like you

To interest a man, a woman should not tell everything about herself. You can lure a guy into long-term correspondence and further relationships by being sincerely interested in him. Any uninteresting dialogue can be decorated with a question about the interlocutor and his life.

It is necessary to support his interests, for example, if a guy has photos with his dog on a social network, then you can write that the girl also loves dogs.

Here it is important not to lie or go too far: if the interlocutor does not understand the topic or is not interested in it, the guy will immediately figure it out and catch the girl in a lie.

With the help of leading questions about his hobbies, you can develop an emotional and lively dialogue that a man will want to return to again. Feel free to ask questions about any matter. Classic themes - favorite books, films, music. It’s best to start asking about your preferences in cinema, since the guy may not be keen on reading.

Mistakes that discourage men's interest

With a man I know

Ask him directly if he has any sympathy for you. He may answer “yes” because he doesn’t want to offend you. Or say “no”, and every time you meet you feel awkward.

Force events. Perhaps the man treats you well, but does not see you as his partner. As soon as you start putting pressure on him, he will start avoiding you.

Collect information about him from friends. Firstly, he won’t like it, and secondly, it’s better to form your own opinion about the person.

Publish provocative photos and statuses on social networks. They won't do you any good, so filter your page.

Make complaints when he doesn't respond to messages. Although you know each other, demanding anything from a man who owes you nothing is nonsense. Your plans for his future are yours alone.

Share the secrets of your relationship with mutual friends. Men are not inclined to let everyone in on their personal lives. It is unlikely that he will like it if his acquaintances are aware of his relationship with you.

Avoid intimate topics. There is no need to pretend that a stork brings children, and you were brought up so strictly that you blush at the mention of intimacy. Especially if you used to behave more relaxed, and the man knew you from the other side.

With a stranger

Errors in the questionnaire. Categorical statements that you don’t like fat, bald people, that a man must have a car, cause hostility. Even a man with a small belly will refrain from writing to you after reading your profile.

Communication with emoticons. It is acceptable among teenagers, but not among adults.

Bad timing. The optimal time for communication is after the end of the working day, when the man has had dinner, is relaxed and is not concerned about work issues.

Stereotypes. Do not impose obligations on a man that he should want children and earn a lot. Perhaps he has other priorities.

Talking about marriage. You may scare him off with your assertiveness.

Intimate photos in the profile are attractive, but harm the image. It is unpleasant for a man that your charms are put on public display.

Spurring to the meeting. Your initiative looks like a desire to speed things up, as if this is your last chance.

Talking about exes. They are undesirable in either a positive or negative way. The man will either decide that you still love his predecessor, or he will think about what words you will call him after the breakup.

Dictate the terms of the meeting place. Of course, for the first time, in order not to get into trouble, it is better to meet in a crowded place during the daytime, but you should not insist on a specific place or time if this is not necessary. Better ask to pay for a taxi.

Make fun of your interlocutor. Your wit will come in handy later, but be careful what you say.

Questions you shouldn't ask

There are a number of topics that should not be touched upon:

issues of religion and belief;
Political Views;
relationships with exes;
intimate;
income level.

Differences in political and religious views become a stumbling block even between the closest people, so you should not get involved in a discussion. Relationships with your ex are your past and have no place in the present. Savoring intimate topics makes you think that you willingly have such conversations with everyone. Questions about income show selfish interest, not passion for the man himself.

How to continue correspondence to keep the interlocutor’s interest

Starting a correspondence is a simple task, but then it is much more difficult to maintain the interest of the interlocutor for a long time.

Basic rules for developing dialogue:

First of all, it is necessary to create an atmosphere of easy communication: you cannot demand anything from a man by correspondence and ask him uncomfortable questions. You should not create the feeling that a woman needs something from him: you should not ask for gifts or constantly beg for any help. We need to joke more. At first, laugh off serious questions.
There is a list of questions that cannot be asked to a pen pal: “Where have you been?”, “Who were you with?”, “Why did you come back so late?”, “When will you write to me?”, “When will we meet?” etc. Men don’t like such questions, especially at the stage of meeting a woman.
It is important not to forget to monitor your speech, choose the right words and expressions so as not to frighten your interlocutor.
You cannot write messages that are too long, no more than 300 characters at a time.

To maintain long correspondence and mutual interest, it is important to feel balance in everything. You can’t seem too cold and at the same time force yourself on a man.

You should not use abstruse words or write long phrases; communication should be easy. It is necessary to show the man that the interlocutor does not pursue any selfish goals in communicating with him.

Advice from Mila Levchuk

Family relations expert Mila Levchuk knows exactly how to interest a man through correspondence and what you can write to a guy to make him like you.

Take Mila's advice:

Don't rush things. Relationships via online correspondence should be built without pressure from either side.
Test a man with his actions. If you want to build a serious relationship, ask a guy for help. When he commits an act, despite the distance between you, it is worth continuing communication and agreeing to a real meeting.
Assess the situation realistically. Do not fantasize, do not attribute positive and negative qualities to your interlocutor.
Communicate on the same wavelength and in the same style. Adapt to the interlocutor’s speaking style and his writing style.
Write less than the guy wrote. He sent 5 offers, you sent 3.
Take longer to respond. The guy answered the question in 30 minutes, you need to unsubscribe in an hour.
The last message in the correspondence must belong to a man. This creates the impression that he is the initiator of the beginning and end of the conversation.
Reply to empty SMS (hello, what are you doing) in 40-60 minutes. Create an impression of being very busy. Reply to important emails faster.
If the guy disappears and stops responding, don't be upset. Surely he didn’t like you enough in the first place. There is no need to impose.
Strive to quickly transform online communication into a real meeting. But don't ask a guy out on a date yourself. The initiative must come from him.

Find time to socialize

How to make a guy fall in love with you if you have never met? Through regular communication.

Make the guy miss your messages. Be sure to answer every question and set aside time for meaningful conversation. You can also make a habit of wishing each other good morning and good night every day.

However, do not overdo it - you should not write to a young man 300 times a day. Don't be intrusive and give him time to get bored.

Photo: Day.Az: UGC

You shouldn’t disappear for a long time to arouse a man’s interest: most likely, the opposite will happen. You may not communicate for a day or two to check his feelings. However, if you do this regularly, the young man will find the interlocutor more interesting.

Add intrigue

Any man likes women who have a slight mystery about them. Play on this!

For example, say that you will soon send the young man something interesting. Believe me, he will rack his brains and constantly ask about it.

At the end, fulfill your promise by sending him, for example, a photo of yourself as a child. This way you will kill two birds with one stone - you will warm up interest and demonstrate a sense of humor.

Photo: Growth Phase: UGC

Don't overdo it. Sometimes it can be difficult to find a balance between little secrets and secrecy. Therefore, try to be as sincere as possible, but still leave room for small, insignificant secrets.