How to get your ex back? This question begins a huge number of messages that come to the mail of the “Power in Thought” project.
What to do if your loved one has left and your worst nightmare has come true? How to return your loved one without requests and humiliation? Are you also tormented by these questions? Then this article is especially for you.
And here is a magical guide to action that has already helped more than 2000+ women get their loved ones back >>>
Breaking up a relationship is a huge pain.
I understand you and sympathize with all my heart: I also went through this, and there were times when the question “How to get your ex back?” was the main thing in my life.
It’s sad but true: breakups, betrayals and quarrels in the modern world are much more common than fairy-tale stories about lovers who “lived happily ever after and died on the same day.”
It is doubly painful if, when you break up, you are still in love and are not ready to put an end to the relationship. But it’s so easy to do stupid things in a fit of despair, anger and pain, when you’re racking your brains over how to make peace with your loved one and get him to return.
That's why I want to share with you an action plan in five simple steps. It will help not only to return your loved one, but also to keep him forever, if, of course, you yourself wish it.
There is no higher mathematics or magic here - only simple laws of energy communication that apply to absolutely all people. How to use them to make your beloved man “attracted” to you again? It is enough to consistently perform the five actions that I will discuss below, and the result will not be long in coming.
Psychology: how to get a man back after a breakup - myths and reality
Psychologists warn what thoughts should not be used when trying to get your loved one back.
Is it possible to get a man back through sex?
By creating a vibrant sexy image, you will, of course, be able to bring your lover back - but, most likely, only to your bed. If your ex-companion is aware of your psychological dependence on him, he may turn to you as an accessible source of satisfaction of sexual needs. And at the same time meet and start meaningful relationships with new girls.
Do not mistake the desire to use you sexually for renewed passion. Of course, it's up to you to decide what to do if your ex hints at sex. But if you want to bring him back into your life, your behavior should directly indicate that he has nothing to eat if his intentions regarding the resumption of your relationship are not serious.
Blackmail will help you get your man back
Sometimes women try to bring back their loved ones in the most radical way. Some take advantage of their common children and threaten to deprive them of the opportunity to see them, others play on their feelings of guilt and threaten to harm themselves. Remember that if you manage to bring a man home with the help of blackmail, it will definitely not be his love.
Keeping a person close to you by force will still not get rid of the feeling of loneliness and uselessness. Only if a man returns to you of his own free will, takes care of you, because it really makes him happy, can you be truly happy.
Basic rules and behavior patterns for renewing a relationship with an ex
In total, there are four basic rules, or, if you like, patterns of behavior that must be followed in order to positively answer the question: “Is it possible to return a guy?”
It is important to remember that all breakups are individual and can be fundamentally different from others, especially if the girl herself left the guy. However, it is necessary to remember these basic rules, since they are essentially universal. They are the ones who will help you understand what to do when a girl thinks: “I left my boyfriend... I want to get him back.”
Psychology of relationships: how to get your husband back?
To the question of how to get your beloved man back after a breakup, psychology does not give one clear answer. It all depends on the current situation, the reasons for the man’s departure, and his character. Those who are especially conscientious and idealistic can be persuaded to give marriage a second chance with a simple sincere question: “What about the family? What about the children? Men who have great respect for the institution of family are ready to make great sacrifices to preserve it.
For others, only a willingness to work very seriously on oneself and on relationships will bring them back. According to statistics, more than 40% of men do not mind taking the risk of resuming an old relationship if the girl is ready to change. So it may be enough to assure your partner of your interest in saving the marriage.
Answer these questions honestly to yourself:
- were you happy in your relationship, were you in love?
- did you feel gratitude towards your husband?
- made sure he was happy too?
- What in your behavior could upset and offend your partner?
Think, maybe your family life took place in an atmosphere of scandals and constant reproaches on your part? This may well be the reason for the man to leave.
Perhaps you held on to your spouse only because of financial dependence, fear of loneliness, or a banal habit? In this case, it is not surprising that at some point your man decided that the relationship had exhausted itself and it was time to move on separately. Sometimes we don't realize that we are unhappy in our marriage. And we consider having an average relationship a better option than taking a risk and going in search of a great one. Men usually show greater determination when it’s time to change something in life.
If not all of a man’s needs were met in marriage, this can be worked on. Don't guess what you did wrong. Challenge your spouse to be frank. Ask him how he felt in the relationship lately, what did he miss when there was too much of you? Let him talk and don't judge him.
The experience of living together can become both a hindrance and a lifeline in attempts to convince a man to return to the family. Focus on everything good and significant that previously connected you (children together, happy memories, common hopes, dreams). Perhaps focusing on what is most important and valuable in your relationship will outweigh the importance of the problems that separate you.
You can try to persuade your significant other to attend family psychotherapy sessions. If you can’t persuade your spouse to make such visits, it’s okay. Sometimes individual psychotherapy is enough to improve your relationship with your husband.
Starting to talk about problems and hearing each other is the only way to start building relationships. But how to return your husband to the family if he does not want to communicate?
What not to do - female mistakes
Here's what can prevent a man from coming back and making him fall in love with you again:
- attempts to arouse jealousy by flirting with your ex's friends and brothers;
- excessive persistence – constant calls and SMS;
- desire to get along on your own terms;
- blaming the guy for the breakup, constant reproaches that he left you;
- unawareness of your mistakes in past relationships.
Knowing how to behave, what you can say and do, and what you cannot, renewing the love that you have allowed to cool down will be quite within the power of any girl.
How to get your loved one back if he doesn’t want to communicate: psychology
If you have committed an offense that hurt a person so much that he simply lost faith in you and crossed you out of his life, completely stopped communicating, it will be very difficult to regain his love and trust.
How to get your beloved man back if he doesn’t even want to communicate? Psychology gives advice: find support in the person of close friends and relatives of your loved one. Win their hearts first. Seeing your sincere repentance and love for a man, knowing about his real feelings for you, they may want to help you make peace. The closest friends and relatives of your lover, who have known him since childhood, will probably tell you how to find the key to his heart and put in a good word for you.
Don't underestimate the power of public pressure. A man, constantly hearing stories from acquaintances about how you regret a crime you committed, how you have changed for the better, how you miss him and dream of being reunited, can thaw out and make contact. Be patient and believe in your love. In the meantime, show it indirectly: help his friends and relatives in everything. Your chosen one will definitely appreciate your efforts and perseverance.
What to do if all the rules have already been broken?
To begin with, you can’t despair. It’s natural for any girl to do what she shouldn’t do after a breakup. Perhaps in this case you just need a little more effort and time to correct your mistakes. The main thing is to remember that there is always a chance. How to get a guy's love back? You need to follow the above tips.
What can't you do to get your beloved man back?
The psychologist’s advice on how to get the guy you love back definitely won’t include the following points.
Panic
Love experiences deprive you of peace, but your composure is the most important condition for the successful completion of the mission to return your loved one. It is important to calm your emotions and not fall into hysterics, begging the man to return to the family. Every time you are overwhelmed by anxious thoughts about the prospect of being alone, perform a meditation for fear and panic:
Quiet, idle waiting often works wonders. Sometimes fleeting passion blinds, and a man, without understanding his feelings, leaves for another woman. And if the abandoned partner demonstrates patience and forbearance and endures this period with dignity, then the man regrets his decision and returns to the family. Sometimes a person needs to lose something to understand its true value.
The return of old feelings does not happen in one day. It takes a man time to realize that, in addition to the negativity, he has experienced many happy moments with you, misses you, and remembers what qualities of yours made him fall in love with you.
Stalker
An absolutely ineffective way to get your lover back is to attack him with SMS messages and calls asking for a date and declarations of feelings, and even more so to keep an eye on him. Men are hunters by nature and value only what they got with difficulty, and not what just comes into their hands. Do not deprive him of the role of a conqueror. It doesn’t matter that now he has lost interest in you. Make him think that after leaving, he will no longer be able to return to you at any time just on his own whim.
To activate your loved one, on the contrary, cut off contacts with him yourself. Stop being available 24 hours a day, waiting for his call and rushing to immediately answer a call or text message from your ex. In correspondence, maintain an emotionally upbeat tone and maintain an element of understatement.
For example, when saying goodbye, say: “Sorry, I can’t talk anymore - I’m getting ready for Saturday. We'll speak another time". Unobtrusively let him know that you now have your own life, your own interests, and he is not the only meaning of your life. This way you radically change the balance of power. Now he becomes a stalker and wants to find out what you are going to do on Saturday evening that is so important that you ignored him - your prince.
Appeal to conscience
Avoid loud showdowns, swearing, conversations about betrayed trust, broken vows. This will only make it easier for a man to decide to break up and find excuses for leaving. Give him the opportunity to be tormented by pangs of conscience on his own. Don't make this process easier for him with your scandalous behavior. Do not arrange a showdown with your mistress, if you have one - she has nothing to do with it. Your man allowed himself to be seduced.
The more noble and dignified you behave, the more morally difficult it will be for him to leave you. And as he scrolls through his head, remembering your breakup, he will become increasingly convinced that he rushed to break off a relationship with such an understanding and loving woman like you in vain.
Show excessive humility
Do not act as if you are ready to tolerate any actions of a man that insult your dignity. Don't be happy with any crumbs of his attention, allowing him to keep you in a state of uncertainty, then returning, then abandoning you again.
When compromising in a relationship to get your man back, remember: your concessions must be reasonable and justified. The desire to avoid loneliness by any means and regain the affection of your spouse leads to the fact that you have to constantly neglect your rights, needs, and dreams. This is real violence against one’s personality, which is usually not appreciated at all by men.
By focusing on your husband’s dissatisfaction, trying to reshape your personality in such a way as to please him, to keep him near you at any cost, you risk losing your Self. Moreover, by trying to please him at the expense of your own joy, you can create a situation where you yourself feel the need to break off the relationship.
Remember: they love not ideal people, they love based on the desire to love. And they leave everyone: ugly women and beauties, silly women and those with three higher educations, exemplary housewives and careerists, financially secure and unemployed, childless and mothers of their children. A woman can adapt to the criteria of her chosen one as much as she wants - there is no guarantee that this will help gain his love.
Get rid of the fear of being alone. And then your man will not risk giving you an ultimatum: “Either you do what I say, or you will be left alone sobbing into your pillow,” and will return to you as real. And if not, it will make room for a man to come into your life who will adore you with all your unique traits. Don't forget: the more you value yourself, the easier it will be for you to meet new love or return an old one.
Revenge
Understand yourself. What really upset you in this situation - the fact of the end of the relationship or the wounded pride of the abandoned woman? It may seem that we want our man back to give and receive love, but in reality it turns out that the reason is a thirst for revenge. To fall in love with yourself again, to cause emotional attachment, and then to be rejected in order to make you feel the same pain that you yourself experienced?
Will revenge change the fact that you were abandoned after all? Isn't it easier to deal with the feelings that arose about this than to waste your time and energy on revenge?
The roots of breakup pain usually go back to childhood as a result of a traumatic separation from a parent or other caregiver. Instead of gaining the experience of a strong, stable connection, the relationship was unreliable and unstable. Perhaps one of the parents died or left the family, or the child was simply often left to his own devices, without giving him due attention.
Later, in adulthood, there is a high risk of retraumatization (repeated trauma). The departure of a man on a subconscious level is perceived as the first traumatic situation, and is experienced with greater emotional intensity than it is worth.
The desire to preserve a relationship at any cost leads to a woman constantly neglecting personal boundaries and rights—her own or her partner’s. In the first case, she is ready to endure any humiliation, if only the man would return. In the second, he considers the man’s desire to end the relationship a personal insult and an unacceptable offense, a moral crime. There is a desire to teach a lesson, to punish the wicked.
Instead of trying to use revenge to get rid of mental pain, the culprit of which, as it turns out, is even the man who did not leave you, it is better to undergo sessions of psychotherapy and hypnosis and deal with the psychological trauma of the rejected person once and for all. To do this, you just need to write to a specialist about your problem, for example, Nikita Valerievich Baturin.
How to get a man back after a breakup: advice from a psychologist
We bring to your attention a step-by-step strategy on how to get a guy back after a breakup. By completing point by point, you can again win the heart of your lover.
Error Analysis
Try to objectively analyze the factors that could lead to the separation. If the reunification is successful, the same problems can cause repeated quarrels and misunderstandings and lead to the final breakdown of the relationship. If you think it's your behavior, try to change, become the person with whom a man wants to build his future. But don’t turn error analysis into self-flagellation. Don't forget all the work you've previously done to maintain love and passion in your relationship. If you truly loved, you don’t need to take the blame for the other person’s self-made decision to leave.
Focus on yourself
Let the man take a walk, feel what it’s like to live without you. In the meantime, spend time on yourself, your beloved. Yes, exactly my favorite. Of course, the departure of a man could make you feel unnecessary, lonely, defenseless. But you must understand that this feeling is nothing more than an illusion. You are an attractive woman, otherwise the very man who has now rejected you would not have spoken words of love to you at one time. You just need to remind him and yourself again of how beautiful you are.
After leaving, men often expect women's tears and suffering, requests to return. But if, instead, the abandoned woman suddenly becomes dazzlingly beautiful and cheerful, this perplexes the man. He cannot leave everything as it is without figuring out what kind of interesting, attractive stranger he did not notice in his girlfriend before.
Take care of your appearance. Do this with the goal not so much of looking like a movie star in the eyes of your ex, but of regaining confidence in your charm. Even if you don’t see your lover, don’t be lazy about doing your hair and makeup, and wear stylish, beautiful clothes. Compliments from others and your own reflection in the mirror will convince you that it is simply impossible not to want you back.
Of course, it’s hard to control yourself and try to enjoy life when so little time has passed since the breakup. But this is exactly what your main intention should be. Don't let a man's departure throw you off track.
Try to find the positives in the sudden freedom. Keep yourself busy with hobbies and interests. Very soon you will become so carried away that you will have no time left for difficult thoughts and feelings about the breakup. Radiate the image of a happy, satisfied person with life. This is the kind of girl your man once fell in love with. And seeing you like this, he will not resist again.
A new beginning
No matter how much good you had with a man, there was also bad, otherwise he would not have left. Your loved one should not feel that he is returning to a place where everything is already familiar and hateful to him. Bring a sense of newness. Remember: he no longer owes you anything, and you are no longer his girlfriend. And this is a huge plus! Awareness of your own freedom, your inaccessibility, the uncertainty of the future with you - this is what will excite his blood.
Don't rush things! You need to act intelligently and subtly. First, try to “accidentally” cross paths with your loved one. For example, in a shopping center or at an event with friends. Your whole appearance should indicate that you are not going to encroach on his freedom. Say hello calmly. Be friendly but not intrusive. Don't show interest in a man. A pitiful, lonely look, pleading in your eyes, importunity in conversation will give you away in an instant. And instead of pleasant nostalgia, you will cause disgust in your ex and a desire to avoid new meetings at all costs.
If the first communication was favorable, there is no need to rush again to organize the next “random” meeting. A man should feel as if it is not you who are hunting him, but he himself constantly remembers you. If your loved one understands that you are suffering due to a breakup and is ready to rush to him at the first call, then your attractiveness in his eyes will drop sharply. You should arouse his interest, desire, jealousy, and not pity.
Resumption of the candy-bouquet period
Think back to the beginning of your novel. Surely you both behaved completely differently: you flirted a lot, laughed, smiled with or without reason, tried to please each other. And then everything drowned in gray everyday life and mutual petty claims. It is important, when you sometimes meet your ex's gaze, to look at him as you did during the most romantic period of your relationship - with interest and the promise of paradise.
Don't take the prospect of rebuilding the relationship seriously. They should not be perceived as a deal, a contract with a bunch of obligations. The more lightness and playfulness you bring into your renewed friendship, the more likely it is that your man will never want to leave you.
Psychologist about the return of a loved one: how to behave when a man returns?
If the psychologist’s advice on how to get your loved one back helped, and you heard the much-desired proposal to renew the relationship, do not rush to relax. Not all the work is done yet. You have created the image of an interesting, self-sufficient woman, happy both with and without a man. Don’t take off your mask now and show how relieved you are now.
There is no harm in showing your joy. But you shouldn’t dump information on a person about how you didn’t sleep at night, cried, suffered in his absence and studied the psychologist’s advice on how to let a man go so that he comes back. Admitting your complete psychological dependence on him and throwing out negativity will only push your loved one away, and he may doubt the correctness of the decision made.
Another important point is to forgive a man for daring to leave you. You can be as right as you like that he unfairly hurt your feelings, that it was mean and ugly. But if you yourself wanted to return him after leaving, then you accept him as he is. You need exactly this scoundrel. And there is no need to stir up the past and remind a man every day of how he stumbled. Don’t pretend to be a victim in his eyes and don’t feel sorry for yourself. Otherwise, on an unconscious level, you will constantly try to take revenge on the man, which will lead your relationship to another collapse.
Many women, whose beloved men have left them, are tormented by fear - what if this happens again. Suddenly they again feel rejected, unnecessary, helpless. The problem of loss of trust arises. Due to the constant feeling of precariousness of the situation, a neurotic need to control the partner may develop. If the past is tripping up the present, something needs to be done. Hypnotherapy can help you overcome your relationship fears. Read more about treating fears with hypnosis here.
And most importantly, if you want to build on your success, don't fall back into old patterns. Understand that your relationship has taken a new turn in development. Everything will never be the same as before, or it will fall apart again. Treat this relationship like a completely new romance. And to a loved one is like, to some extent, to a stranger.
