4 15092 January 30, 2021 at 10:31 Author of the publication: Evgenia Astreinova
Don't answer calls. Don't read messages on social networks. What a flight of fancy! Like a white canvas for an artist, you can draw anything in your head. Let the man suffer, rack his brain: what if you’re offended? or did you have another one? Why are you silent? Is it really all over between you? It’s just a little scary: don’t go too far with ignoring. Suddenly your silence will become the very point that ends the relationship! How to ignore a man correctly in order to spark interest in yourself, but not push him away?
How to properly ignore a man? Practical recommendations
If you want ignore to give the desired result, then use it in three situations:
- When a man is distant and conveys disinterest in you
- When he misbehaves with you (for example, he is rude and disrespectful)
- When you gave too much and received nothing in return (your investments are excessive)
In other situations we do not use ignore. Many girls make a mistake: they begin to distance themselves and ignore them when a man treats them well and correctly (for example, gives them a gift). And even if a man has greatly offended and done something wrong, then in no case should you react with ignorance and coldness in response to his correct actions. Otherwise, you turn on the following program in his brain: “I do something nice for her = they ignore me.” And after this, the man will lose all desire to please you.
Remember: If a man does something wrong, you move away (at the same time, he must understand what exactly he did wrong). And if a man does something good for you, you cannot ignore him!
And yes, before you start ignoring a man for some of his actions or behavior, first tell him what exactly upsets or stresses you. Otherwise, he simply won’t understand what’s going on. And if your words remain unheard, then you have every right to turn on ignore.
When you tell a man what you don’t like, adhere to the following rules: speak calmly and unemotionally, do not enter into conflict and do not sort things out. Speak only once (not two, not three, and not a hundred), and then look at the man’s reaction. If he changes his behavior in the direction you want, then ignoring him is meaningless and there is no need to turn him on.
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I also recommend reading: Male manipulation of silence and ignorance (Opens in a new tab)
Now let's look at each situation in more detail:
Situation 1 - The man is distant and conveys disinterest
If a man distances himself from you and broadcasts coldness, then it is correct to reciprocate, and also include coldness in response. When a man shows disinterest and you start running after him, then your importance decreases - this kills his feelings. So use the principle of reciprocity and start moving away in return.
But there are exceptions! If you did something very unpleasant for your man, and his offense is logical, then you shouldn’t turn on the cold. There is no problem in admitting your guilt and making peace with the person. But even in such a situation, you cannot run after a man. And if you did something very bad, then just apologize and look at the man’s reaction. If he continues to ignore you, then leave him alone and don't run after him. He should be the first to start communicating with you.
In all other cases, in response to coldness and ignorance, you respond with coldness and ignorance. This way, you will not allow your importance to decrease in the eyes of a man.
Situation 2 - He behaves wrongly with you
Many girls make a serious mistake; they allow men to communicate with them rudely and disrespectfully. As soon as you allow a man to wipe his feet on you, your importance will collapse instantly. And I’m not even talking about the toxicity of such communication and the psychological discomfort it brings.
You must have your own boundaries that no one should ever violate. For example, no one ever has the right to call you, not even a fool. Not the boss, not the girlfriend, not the husband, not the mother, no one! And if someone tries to violate your frame, then you immediately tell the person that they can’t communicate with you like that. But if you remain unheard, then you end communication with this person (forever).
I know people who don't assert their personal boundaries correctly. For example, someone insults them, they express their dissatisfaction, but at the same time do not stop communicating with the person. This shouldn’t happen, if someone violates your boundaries, then you immediately send him to hell (if the person does not understand the words).
I also recommend reading: How to attract the right man to you? (Opens in a new tab)
Situation 3 - You invested too much in a man
If you did a lot of things for a man, but received nothing in return, or received many times less, then this is the case when you need to take a break and move away.
Remember People don't value people who look like they're trying too hard - that's a low value broadcast.
For example: you write to a man every day, but he writes to you once a week (or doesn’t write at all). In this situation, you should stop and stop writing to him. Otherwise, you risk completely losing your importance and interest from a man.
Use the principle of reciprocity, and invest in a person in direct proportion to his investment in you. And if you feel that your investments are greater, then urgently stop and take a break. And a miracle will happen - the man himself will begin to invest in you and look for a meeting with you.
I also recommend reading: How to make a man run after you (Opens in a new tab)
Now you and I have looked at situations where ignoring can take place, but to be honest, ignoring a person is not the best way to build relationships. Therefore, I recommend that you resort to this tool extremely rarely and in case of emergency.
It is a mistake to believe that if you just start ignoring a man, he will suddenly develop feelings for you - this is complete nonsense.
In what cases should you use the ignoring method?
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto: Pexels
If a man is suddenly and without reason ignored by you, he will most likely become confused and will not be able to react the way you wanted, this will only worsen your relationship. The ignoring technique should be introduced smoothly and if there really are reasons for it:
- The very beginning of sympathy
The technique of easy ignoring will allow you to interest him, will not scare off a man with excessive persistence on your part, and will motivate him to take the first step towards a relationship.
- Cooling relationships
When he stops giving flowers, arranging surprises and, in general, seems to “calm down” and begins to take everything for granted.
What attracts men to girls? In simple words
Now we will talk specifically about the attractive behavior of a girl. A man wants a girl next to him whose value is at least equal to his value. What does this mean in practice?
This means that you have self-respect and your own personal boundaries. I will talk a lot in my articles about personal boundaries, because this is a real problem for most women.
If in a relationship with M you do not tolerate what you don’t like, you will be respected and found attractive! And if you hush up the problem, they won’t consider you attractive.
Girls and men do not like those who endure all the hardships and hardships of living together. Men go crazy for those women who are ready to leave them. Your chosen one must understand that you will be ready to abandon him if his relationship with you is unsatisfactory. This is an attractive position.
And now we’ll talk separately about a common female mistake, which I call “Brain blowing.”
Women's mistake No. 1 - Brain removal
Do you have a problem?
Hello, this is Vadim, the author of the blog. Do you have a relationship problem? Fill out the form and sign up for a consultation - I will help!
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Hello, this is Vadim, the author of the blog. Do you have a relationship problem? Fill out the form and sign up for a consultation - I will help!
Fill out the form
You should know that a man is not a logical being, but an emotional one. Moreover, this emotional being wants to feel dominant and leader. You should never tell a man what and how to do, and especially should not sort out your relationship at the level of logic, and you will never be able to make a man fall in love with you with the help of logical conversations and arguments.
How many times have I seen a situation where a woman gets to the bottom of a man with the questions “How do you feel about me?”, “What’s going on between us, what kind of relationship do we have?” - this is all an attempt to get a logical answer from him. But it doesn't work that way. You must influence men's emotions, not logic.
Never ask the question: “Do you love me?”, and never try to prove anything to a man. Make his stay with you as comfortable and relaxed as possible, then he will be drawn to you. And if a man stays next to you all the time in a state of cold war and showdown, then with a high degree of probability he will leave.
As for instructions on what and how best to do, I’m generally silent. Never communicate with a man from a position on top - this kills his attraction to you. If you want to be treated like a Queen, then he must be a King for you. And if you treat him as a slave, then his attitude towards you will be corresponding.
And instead of blowing your mind and influencing logic, use the proven “Closer-Farther” method.
Closer-Far is when you distance yourself from a man for his bad behavior, and get closer to him in response to his good behavior.
For example, a man yelled at you. What to do?
- Say that you don't like being yelled at (say it once and unemotionally)
- Moving away from him
- If a man has not changed his behavior, you leave him and break up
- If a man has corrected himself and asked for forgiveness, then you give him your warmth and kindness
Here is a simple example of how to communicate with a man without scandals, pressure on the brain and a showdown.
A clear relationship should be visible in his head: - I treat her well = she gives me warmth and love. - I treat her badly = she moves away, is ready to leave me.
Then the man will not have the desire to offend you and act unfairly. It's very simple, but in practice women do the opposite. They make scandals, quarrel, sort things out, try to prove something and enter into open conflict.
But it is absolutely forbidden to enter into an open conflict with a man! Why? Because this way you provoke aggression in him. And when you generate aggression in a man, then on a biological level you become a stranger to him. And he begins to fight against you. But you don’t need this, you need to be loved and adored, so forget about open conflicts and showdowns.
Why does ignore work?
It would seem, why should a guy pay attention to a girl who is his “dynamite”? To answer this question, let me remind you: a man is a hunter by nature. He is not interested in the prey that easily surrenders to the mercy of the winner. But he will definitely compete for the attention of a beautiful woman who seems unavailable.
Using NLP
To win a man's heart, you can use special techniques. To do this, you need to delve into the basics of psychology.
All people are different. Each personality is formed under the influence of society and genetics. The process of understanding your loved one can take several years. However, it can be sped up. To do this, it is enough to study NLP (neurolinguistic programming), which will help you better understand people. The more we know about others, the easier it is to control them.
You can become familiar with NLP techniques either independently or through special courses. Girls with low self-esteem should not use this method, as their internal complexes will lead to constant reflection and thoughts will appear that the guy is too good. This will make depression worse.
Basic operating principle
You can only make an interested man fall in love with you. You should ignore him only when you are sure of his sympathy. You can see your interest based on a number of signs:
- Constantly trying to start a conversation.
- The desire to make the object of adoration smile with the help of jokes.
- Using abstruse words in speech.
- Flaunting your positive qualities.
It's better to use ignore at work. This way you can interest a man. There are many ways to attract his attention to your own person. The simplest option is to unobtrusively ask to be escorted to a distant office, to complete a difficult task, to keep company at a corporate event, etc.
You should ignore a guy after a long flirtation. Such behavior from a girl will cause him confusion. The man will rack his brain and wonder what went wrong. Because of this, he will begin to pay even more attention to his friend.
Unfortunately, no one knows how to properly ignore any man. People are different, so their reaction to such methods of seduction is different. It is important not to abuse silence. This method of manipulation is effective only if used in moderation.
Also, you shouldn't try to get a guy's attention by ignoring him. Due to the small amount of communication, you can be left with nothing.
Advice from psychologists
There are two points of view on manipulation in relationships:
- Ignoring a man is the worst way to start a conversation. The couple will not be able to exist together, since the connection is built artificially. Love is a chemical reaction that cannot be created out of nothing. If the partner is cold from the beginning, then nothing will change. It is better not to try to win the heart of an indifferent person. There are a lot of people in the world who will give you much more positive emotions in the future. A woman shouldn't get hung up on a guy who doesn't show interest in return. Such people need to be avoided.
- Relationships start with shenanigans. The person lies and embellishes. This behavior is encouraged by society, so people lie to make themselves look good. At the beginning of a relationship, a guy flaunts only positive traits. He, like a turkey, tries to dance a mating dance for the female. A girl can ignore a guy and use other manipulations. There is nothing immoral about this.
Both theories are correct, because they have a common link - the factor of falling in love. It doesn't matter where the feeling comes from. If people are made for each other, then they will be together both with and without ignorance. There are no limits or frames for love. She will be able to get into a hard heart and soften it.
Hidden threat
You can't predict how a guy will behave when ignored. From time to time, such manipulations lead to obsession. The lover sets the goal of his whole life to win the favor of one single girl. He does not feel the feeling of falling in love; for him it is important to conquer the next peak. Such relationships are dangerous. They never end with a wedding.
In order not to miss happiness, it is necessary to correctly ignore the man, so to speak, to arouse interest. To do this, you need to act gradually and meaningfully.
Strengthening positions
After competent use of feminine tricks, it’s time for a date. The guy will take the first step on his own, but you should refuse the invitation. This should be done gently and gently. The meeting should be postponed indefinitely, citing heavy workload or poor health.
You can’t refuse constantly, otherwise your partner will suspect something is wrong, quickly grow cold and start looking for another girlfriend.
On a date, you need to flirt with a fan and show interest in him. A man needs to feel that all his efforts are not in vain. He must realize that he made the right choice.
It is better to hold the first meeting in a restaurant or park. Cinema and theater are too trivial places. In addition, there will be no opportunity to communicate and get to know each other better. You can hint to the man in advance where you would like to go.
For a good date, you can reward the guy with a kiss on the cheek. Such a gesture of attention will be enough to provoke him. After the date, you should turn on ignore again for a few days so that the young man gets worried.
