Give it your all!
There is a huge temptation to finally tell your boss everything you think about him. Or do something nasty: hide the necessary data, take away the phone numbers of important clients, paralyzing the work of the once dear company for some time.
Do not do that! Firstly, the professional circle is very narrow, and when your new boss calls your ex, he is unlikely to find at least a couple of kind words addressed to you. Secondly, if you want your boss to truly regret your dismissal, you need to act in exactly the opposite way. Gather your will and on the last day say a warm goodbye to him, saying the kindest words. Maybe he won’t call you back (which, by the way, is possible), but he will certainly give you an excellent reference. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship you had before this minute. As you know, the first and last words are remembered most.
TK: dismissal. The legislative framework
Any dismissal must be based on Article 80 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Be sure to familiarize yourself with this law and read all the amendments that have been made to it.
If the case is complex, then it would be useful to contact a lawyer. You must make sure that everything is happening according to the law and the boss is not trying to deceive you by not paying the required compensation. In a stressful situation, people rarely think about the legal side of the matter, as they are in a phase of denial or anger. And when emotions become dull, it is too late to demand something. If you yourself cannot understand the legal intricacies, turn to your loved ones for help.
Risk group
Losing a job often undermines a person's self-esteem. He develops a feeling of resentment and a feeling of loss of control over life: “Why was I fired?”, “Am I really the worst employee?”, “I don’t decide anything in this life.” If such thoughts come to you, you need to tell yourself: “Stop! Life is not only work. In such a difficult situation, it is much more constructive to ask another question - why did fate give you such a test, what lessons can be learned from this?
Practice shows that most often people who have two opposing psychological attitudes lose their jobs. First of all, these are those who, unnoticed by themselves, began to live by inertia, for whom work has not brought either moral or material satisfaction for a long time. But the poor guy doesn’t have the courage to put the application on the table himself. And every morning he goes to work, as if to hard labor. So fate throws him an unexpected solution to the problem - in the form of staff reductions or rotations leading to dismissal.
Oddly enough, people with a different attitude are also at risk of losing their jobs - workaholics who identify their life with work, putting it in first place in the scale of life values. Fate often punishes for such one-sidedness. In addition, an overly zealous employee often irritates his superiors: what if he turns out to be more professional than his management?
How to survive being fired
Losing a job is a difficult experience. What to do, how not to give up when your usual stability collapses? They say that stars can be seen from the bottom of the well even during the day. Everything is from scratch, everything is from the beginning - but this is the beginning of the ladder along which the ascent to a new height begins. The crisis raises questions - our heroines are looking for answers.
YULIA (36) I worked as an engineer at a design institute, I was used to receiving a decent salary, and was in good standing with my superiors. But overnight everything collapsed. Before the onset of the new year 2009, we were told that the company was freezing all projects and curtailing funding for our institute. Most employees were offered the choice of resigning of their own free will with severance pay or switching to a so-called “contract”. This is when you are no longer on the staff and do not have any social guarantees, but remain at the institute as a civilian employee. Like most of my colleagues, I was shocked. And even now the state of uncertainty does not allow me to exist normally. Drop everything and leave? Looking for a new job? But I don’t have another specialty, and I studied this one at the institute and managed to gain some experience. If you learn a new profession, it means everything again from scratch... Should you stay and wait for the weather by the sea? My husband suggests this to me: sit at home, look after the children, but if they call you to work on a project, you’ll go and work. But somehow I’m not yet ready for the role of a housewife, and there will be much less money in the family; my husband’s work is also not going well. And you also have to pay off loans, and your work history is being torn apart. In a word, I cannot understand myself in a new situation. How can I get out of this stress and what should I decide on?
Yulia Ovchinnikova, candidate of psychological sciences, director of psychological sciences, comments: This situation poses a threat to Yulia’s self-esteem and forces her to take a fresh look at herself. The main concern is not related to the financial issue (although it is certainly present), but to finding one’s place in life. Considering Yulia’s age, we can talk about a mid-life crisis, the task of which is to learn to experience life more fully, expand your worldview, and integrate different aspects of your personality. Losing a job in this case is a chance to constructively go through this crisis, and not brush it aside, a chance to “go off the rails” of stability and habit and look around at what else is in the world, what I live for. In the fight against stress, our psyche goes through three stages: anxiety, adaptation and exhaustion. It is very important to move to the adaptation stage in a timely manner and end the experience of stress, that is, to use new ways of communication, behavior, and actions. You need to ask yourself what is the meaning of what is happening, what life is pushing you towards. A crisis often happens when our life becomes too stable and monotonous (which is exactly typical for the heroine of this story). Dismissal is only a “catalyst” for an internal crisis, the same as a new romance, illness or move. The more we cling to the past, the more we aggravate and prolong stress. But the task of the crisis is the most positive one: to stimulate our development, to guide us along the path of personal growth. Yulia is not an ambitious person, so for her the “freelancer” option is preferable from a psychological point of view: on the one hand, there is periodic but interesting work, on the other hand, free time that can be spent on realizing other aspects of the personality, be it motherhood, management farming, cycling, reading or learning foreign languages. In any case, this is a chance that you need to use for your development.
DIANA (27) At the newspaper where I worked as a correspondent, problems began last year. One day an editor called me and asked me to resign of my own free will. But I must say that there were two of us working in the department: me and Mikhail, my fellow journalist. And, as it turned out, when it was decided to downsize, I was targeted. To the question: “Why me?” – the boss replied that, you see, it’s easier for him to work with men. I know that I really write no worse than Mishka, but he and the editor are old friends. They go together to chase balls at billiards. I asked the boss: “Well, what if I don’t write of my own free will?” He says: “So we’ll pay you a normal severance pay and, if everything works out in the future, we’ll call you back to work. Or you don't have to quit. You will only receive your official rate (it is minimal for me, the rest was given in an envelope). Don’t count on fees either: it’s my right to choose what to put in the room.” Now I sit and think what to do. It seems that there are hints, but everywhere they offer little money. And that’s not even what depresses me. Some kind of darkness remained in my soul because I was fired not so much on a professional basis, but simply because I was a woman, and they preferred a male employee to me. So improve yourself after that...
Yulia Ovchinnikova comments: The first feeling from Diana’s story is that something is wrong here. Diana burdens the difficult situation of dismissal and financial crisis with issues of gender equality and professional viability, and this makes her feel even worse. Perhaps they really weren’t fired on professional grounds, but also not on gender grounds. Diana clearly wrote that the boss and Mikhail are friends, Mikhail is a good employee, that’s the whole principle. But the girl herself is not sure about her professionalism. It seems that now you need to figure it out, determine your strengths and weaknesses. And the time has come to part with youthful illusions. Each of us has our own usual ideas about life; they do not always correspond to reality, periodically become outdated and prevent us from living. These include Diana’s thoughts: “the world should be fair” and “men and women should have equal rights.” The most common misconceptions can be divided into three groups: 1 shoulds (I must..., they must..., the world must...); 2 “black and white” thinking – “all or nothing” (the boss is either an excellent person or a complete idiot, there is no third option); 3 negative filter (we notice events that are negative for us, but we do not see positive ones or we downplay their significance). Our reality, despite the achievements of feminism, is in favor of men. You can be indignant about this, or you can see an evolutionary design in this. Our society has been formed mainly as patriarchal, men and women differ in their psychological characteristics, women provide stability, and men - movement forward and progress. And the role of women is extremely important: without stability, progress is impossible! Periods of balance and revolutionary change alternate both in the life of one person and in the history of mankind. And if women become equal to men in everything, won’t this threaten us with extinction?
MARINA (25) I worked as a manager in a company that sold furniture. Due to the crisis, a recession began, we were all warned: salary cuts and staff reductions were coming. My friend Vika and I worked hand in hand at this company for many years, and it seemed to me that we knew each other well. And so the boss calls me and says: “The management has decided to partially raise the salaries of those who remain at the expense of the dismissed employees. Regarding your department, there is a decision to keep you and fire Vika. What do you say?" I, of course, refused, and he: “Go think about it until tomorrow.” In general, I was worried and decided: I’ll find another job sooner or later, but I don’t want to lose my friend. And the boss: “Okay, it’s up to you. And Vika agreed.” I didn’t believe it - I went and asked directly. She let’s apologize, in general, that’s how it turned out. I’m not a scandalous person, but our conversation turned out to be difficult. I didn’t go into the bottle and left the company on the terms that the management offered. And it was doubly sad that I lost my job and lost my friend. She then called and asked for forgiveness. Now I’m thinking: what if when I get a new job, I won’t make friends with anyone? Can a person really sacrifice his friends for the sake of his career? In general, this crisis has presented me with questions that I don’t know how to answer.
Yulia Ovchinnikova comments: If in the previous story they talked about the injustice of the world, here we are talking about its complexity and ambiguity. It’s very disappointing to lose both your job and your girlfriend, and even having previously committed a noble deed. Marina is now under the strong influence of emotions, it seems that she can’t trust anyone. You shouldn’t so categorically build an alternative – friends or a career. It is not completely clear what life circumstances and values forced Vika to make a choice in favor of work. After all, for several years the girls worked well, Vika didn’t sneak in or plot, but at a critical moment she didn’t show any strength of character. But the boss’s actions make you wonder: why did he (apparently knowing about your friendship) stage a provocation? The crisis helped reveal the unreliability of relationships in a rather mild form - the loss of a job with a dubious provocateur boss. It would be much more painful, say, for a husband to leave for a girlfriend or something similar. Therefore, here we are not talking about a financial crisis, but about the eternal problem of trust. It is important not to idealize people (it’s easy to love good people), but to learn to accept them as they are. After all, the same person can behave honestly and openly in some circumstances, and in others, consciously or not, carry out manipulation. This is an existential situation in which you need to ask yourself the question: what can I change and what can’t I? Life is complex and ambiguous, but interesting, bright and beautiful.
Vicious circle
Having lost his job, a person has a huge amount of free time at his disposal. Perhaps at first it’s even pleasing: you’ll finally be able to relax! But, as a rule, it is impossible to truly relax. And the unemployed person begins to experience the emptiness that has suddenly formed in his life. According to the observations of psychologists, such a situation is a breeding ground for the emergence of neurosis.
A kind of vicious circle arises: due to the fact that there is no job, you feel depressed, and this, in turn, makes it impossible to find a job. If this condition lasts long enough, it can lead not only to depression, but also to severe physical illness. Psychiatrists often observe this effect of “psychophysical wear and tear” not only among those who have lost their jobs, but also among those who have retired: an intensively working person suddenly begins to rapidly age, and all sorts of sores begin to stick to him.
To avoid this, experts advise that you should start looking for a new job on the same day you were informed of your dismissal. The more time passes after losing a job, the more difficult it will be to find one. Treat dismissal as a test of strength, as an exam, passing which you will come to success.
Look at the problem from a different angle
Constantly telling yourself that life is over after being fired only brings harm. It is not at all necessary to bring everything to apathy and depression.
It’s hardly worth driving yourself into stress that only a psychologist can get you out of.
Forced idleness can easily be turned to your advantage. There are many ways, the main thing is to choose something you like. You can devote time to your needs or immediately rush to look for a new vacancy.
Time to look for a job
Finding your dream job is quite possible. This will not happen right away, however, with the right approach, you can plan your time so that you can get everything done before starting a new job. Estimate the right time and create a budget for this period. Plan all your activities and don't forget about rest and entertainment.
Vacation heals
When apathy towards everything sets in, tourism or a yoga seminar would be an excellent solution. Contact with nature and spiritual practices will help you find harmony. Running in the morning or other physical activity will help. All it takes is a little desire and a wardrobe update. Just a couple of weeks in this mode, and you won’t want to return to a stuffy office.
Start an active job search
After a good rest, you can start looking for the much-desired job with special zeal. To do this, you need to create a thoughtful resume describing your capabilities and knowledge. You should check the labor market situation daily. If possible, you should definitely call employers and find out the details. You will have to go to interviews for some time, as if you were going to a job, and choose the best among the best.
30-minute daily walk
After quitting your job, you should take care of your health. Not everyone is a fan of running, but hardly anyone will object to a regular half-hour walk in the fresh air in the morning. It will distract you from heavy thoughts and allow you to contemplate nature. In the morning the air is as clean as possible due to the small number of cars. After a new job appears, there is hardly time for such a ritual.
Don't forget about physical activity
Physical activity is good for both the body and the brain. Constantly sitting on the couch and sleeping for a long time contributes to the deterioration of mood and health. You don’t have to go to expensive fitness clubs and gyms; home workouts are enough. Morning exercises will help you cheer up and fill you with energy.
Make time for healthy eating
If fate has given you a break, then you need to use it to maximum advantage. Office work involves irregular meals and a lot of coffee. It's time to correct the situation and learn to cook healthy meals. Simple recipes with familiar ingredients are not only delicious, but also help save both time and money.
You should think about a part-time job
Dismissal can be unexpected and may happen at the wrong time. There is no such thing as too much money, so alternative income is a good idea. This will increase self-confidence and help you relax when you are away from your main job. In any case, you don’t have to worry about not having enough money for the most necessary things.
Don't deny yourself some fun
Psychologists advise communicating more with loved ones and friends, having fun together, visiting or meeting interesting people. It’s a good idea to find out what’s on in cinemas and theaters. Friends can give good advice that will help you find a new job.
Deal with things
It is difficult to deal with your problems when work worries you almost 24 hours a day. Dismissal provides an opportunity to finish renovations, fix a faucet, or assemble a shelf that was purchased a couple of months (or years) ago. Any household chores will help take your mind off the fear of being out of work.
Online studies
It’s worth deciding and purchasing a training course in your specialty, self-development or psychology. Knowledge will not be superfluous and will help you stand out from other candidates in pursuit of your dream job. You can master a completely new professional niche if you have been interested in it for a long time.
The more actions, the greater the impact
And so that during the time “from work to work” you do not destroy yourself, and at the same time your relationships with friends and loved ones, try to develop a clear strategy:
● Maintain the same rhythm and routine of life. Get up, have breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same time as before. If you are a man, be sure to shave every morning. If you are a woman, comb your hair and wear light makeup.
● Do something every day to look for a job: surf the Internet, send out resumes, study job magazines, go on interviews. A pattern has been noticed: if today you called not five, but ten companies, then tomorrow you will receive twice as many calls as in previous days.
● Use your free time to take care of your health. Don't watch TV late, get enough sleep, don't drink coffee or strong tea, and be sure to go outside every day. Visit a dentist, other doctors, undergo treatment if necessary. Do all the boring but necessary household chores that you never got around to doing before.
How to get out of depression after losing your job: advice from psychologists
Depression that occurs after losing a job deprives an individual of the ability to think sensibly and act logically. Once captured by frustration, a person is deprived of the strength to take constructive measures to change his unemployed status. It is impossible to eliminate the signs of depression on your own, so the necessary step is to consult an experienced doctor. Treatment of affective disorders is carried out by three specialists: a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist and a psychologist.
In severe cases of a depressive episode and a risk of suicidal behavior, it is recommended to place the patient in the inpatient department of a psychiatric clinic. Only in a hospital setting is it possible to quickly relieve depressive symptoms, constantly monitor the patient’s condition, and make timely adjustments to the treatment program. Medical supervision helps prevent aggravation of the disorder and makes suicide attempts impossible.
The basis of drug treatment is antidepressants of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor class. Most often, thymoleptics with a stimulating effect are used, since after losing a job a person experiences motor and mental retardation. Modern antidepressants demonstrate an effect within two weeks from the start of use. All depressive symptoms gradually fade away. The subject returns to normal mood. He is no longer overcome by depressing thoughts. He feels a surge of strength and gains the desire to act. Treatment with antidepressants is carried out for three months to six months. It is strictly forbidden to independently change the prescribed dosage or interrupt the course of treatment. During antidepressant therapy, it is not recommended to drink alcohol.
In parallel with drug treatment, individual psychotherapy is carried out. The doctor helps the patient to impartially examine his personal history, give an objective assessment of his existing skills and knowledge, and consider the characteristics of his character from the outside. The psychotherapist guides the client to identify components of thinking and behavior that act as an obstacle to employment in a stable company and building a successful career. The doctor helps the patient eliminate harmful stereotyped thoughts, replacing them with functional ideas. The result of psychotherapy is getting rid of the burden of the past: a person becomes a person free from past mistakes. He realizes his true goals and becomes capable of taking consistent actions.
Psychological correction is aimed at forming a correct assessment of one’s own personality in a depressed patient. A psychologist helps a person identify his strengths and identify his weaknesses. The specialist assists the client in fully accepting his individuality, abilities and talents. The psychologist suggests how it is necessary to interact with society in order to become a sought-after and authoritative person. We recommend psychologist Irakli Pozharisky psyhoterapy.info
How to get out of depression after losing your job? When faced with an unexpected dismissal, psychologists advise not to panic and act without haste and fuss. To adapt to new living conditions and not become a prisoner of severe depression, you need to:
- do not keep painful experiences inside yourself, try to get rid of negative emotions by expressing your feelings out loud or writing them down on paper;
- do not abuse alcoholic beverages, try to eat healthy natural foods;
- start looking for a job immediately after dismissal, contact employment services, recruitment agencies, post your resume on specialized websites;
- maintain the same rhythm and routine of the day, get up and go to bed at the usual hours;
- take care of your own appearance, take care of your body;
- spend free time on acquiring new knowledge and honing skills;
- try your hand at previously unknown areas, master new skills;
- take time to improve your health, undergo a medical examination, visit a dentist, sign up for a massage;
- do not isolate yourself, actively communicate with friends and former colleagues;
- do not neglect offers of temporary or remote work, while continuing to search for other vacancies.
Depression after losing a job is a serious disorder, but with a sincere desire to change your life for the better and quality medical care, it is possible to return a person to normal functioning.
Don't isolate yourself
Unfortunately, often during a period of forced inactivity, a person’s relationships with loved ones deteriorate. At first they sympathize with him, but as he withdraws and becomes depressed, this begins to irritate those around him. ● Try not to be excluded from family life: take on some responsibilities that were previously performed by others, share your thoughts, discuss household problems.
● If friends invite you to visit, do not refuse, citing a bad mood. Maybe that's where you'll meet someone who can help you find a job. Despite progress in the field of employment (Internet, recruiting agencies), they prefer to hire us, as before, “by acquaintance.”
● Don't neglect a temporary job offer while continuing to look for a permanent one. If you prove yourself well, it can become permanent.
Interesting
● No one is immune from dramatic turns of fate. Even geniuses. The example of one of the players of the Real Madrid football club is widely known. A freak car accident confined him to a wheelchair for a whole year. In the end, he managed to get back on his feet, but had to say goodbye to his brilliant football career. “What to do? After all, I don’t know how to do anything besides football!” – the former football player was tormented. Friends advised him to try himself in... the singing genre. And they were right. This is how the brilliant Julio Iglesias appeared to the world.
● The story of another famous person is no less significant. Before becoming famous in the literary field, he was... an accountant. Everything changed when the unknown Mr. Porter was accused of embezzlement and went to prison. Out of melancholy and hopelessness, he began to write stories. He emerged from prison as a popular short story writer known under the pseudonym O'Henry.
Bad advice
7 Sure Ways to Lose Your Job
1. Have no plans.
2. Fail to maintain and update your skills and abilities.
3. Do not provide any results.
4. Believing that you are indispensable.
5. Surround yourself with sycophants.
6. Forgetting to give credit to others.
7. Do not “advertise” your work achievements.
By the way
Stress caused by dismissal is more pronounced in men. Women are more resilient to the blows of fate and react flexibly to stressful situations. People of retirement age, as well as those who cross the “dangerous” age limits, experience the loss of work very painfully: the so-called age of first adulthood (33-35/35-37 years) and mature age – 46-48/52-54.
The level of stress experienced also depends on the psychological type to which a person belongs. Temperamental, sociable people, although they take the news of dismissal hard, overcome the stressful situation relatively quickly. As a rule, two weeks are enough for them to be free from stress. Another thing is that people are phlegmatic and withdrawn. Their stress develops progressively and lasts for a long period.
