Hopelessness is a feeling that has complex mechanisms of formation, belonging to the negative layer of experiences, the basis of which is the subjective perception of the picture of the world as hopeless, since there is no objective unsolvability. It is born when faced with insurmountable obstacles or the impossibility of correcting what happened, i.e. borders closely on hopelessness, despair, and a feeling of one’s own powerlessness.
A feeling of hopelessness appears when faith and hope for a different outcome of the situation disappear, actions become meaningless and a person realizes the impossibility of changes in the desired direction. The inability to see ways of achieving exactly what you want gives rise to a feeling of hopelessness, since the irreversibility of the desired and pleasant consequences, which will also be impossible to prevent, will cause a feeling of joy and slight euphoria. There is also a version that hopelessness arises with the goal of protecting the nervous system from overload, and a person from wrong actions, being a defense mechanism against the wrong path. Those. It’s easier for the body to cut off the supply of energy to something that the subconscious has already assessed as unpromising than to try to reverse the uselessness.
What it is
A state of extreme hopelessness rarely occurs on its own; usually a person takes an active part in this, driving himself into a hopeless corner, losing faith and giving up. Without being biologically fixed at the level of reflexive behavior, fear, satisfaction, security, and hopelessness are largely regulated by the person himself, his ability to notice meanings and maintain his inner faith.
The feeling of hopelessness is a critical moment in the perception of the world and oneself, influencing changes in the value and semantic space. In such a state, everything takes on a negative connotation and there is no way out anywhere, guidelines and desires are lost, the meaning of daily actions, and possibly the whole life. Lost illusions associated with achieving what you want can turn a person towards other goals, or they can force them to stumble into a dead end of impossibility and slow down their whole life. In such a dead end, there is no strength to turn around to choose another direction and there is a terrible awareness of the impossibility of moving on.
A state of extreme hopelessness leads people to alcoholism and drug addiction as ways to escape from the impossibility of reality, and pushes some to commit suicide. This is the highest measure of development and sensation of this feeling, gradually covering all areas of life, regardless of where it began, like metastases in the last stages of cancer. That is why it is important to notice the first signs of loss of faith and hope for changing the situation, for the prospect of development and overcoming, because these are the internal supports that help overcome hopelessness.
There are many life situations that contribute to the development of hopelessness. This is when your health has deteriorated, and after that your apartment has been robbed, when you don’t have a job you love and close relationships, when a project is not a year old, doesn’t get off the ground, or the child whose treatment you are treating isn’t getting better. There are many other examples, both in everyday life and in unique circumstances, but the worst moments of despair occur when several personally significant factors come together. Personal significance is paramount, because even if people die around you, but these are strangers and not loved ones, it is unlikely that this will shake your previous world order with the same force as the death of one dear person. But at the same time, not critical violations, but from all aspects of life can lead to the same result, taken in quantity. It will feel like there will be two different hopelessness - the first is about the loss of an important sphere of life, the second is about the permanent meaninglessness of life.
The most difficult moments are when several factors are combined, and one of them is basic in a person’s semantic system. Seeing exclusively the destruction of his own needs, a person loses faith in the best and loses the strength to overcome difficulties; he turns out to be able to notice only closed doors, without the ability to look around. In many ways, this inability to look around in search of new meanings and paths is due to the large number of frustrations experienced and the lesson learned that the more you look, the more disappointments you have to experience. Without proper support, possibly psychotherapy, hopelessness of this level leads to thoughts of ending life.
Being in a long-term chronic state of hopelessness, not only the mood and volitional manifestations of a person begin to deteriorate, this affects his personality as a whole, and also affects somatic development. The most common physiological reactions are decreased immunity, weakness, postural disorders (hunched over, stooped), breathing problems (pneumonia and bronchitis), neurological disorders (limb tremors and nervous tics), sleep disorders (insomnia, nightmares, intermittent sleep). The longer a person does not get out of the state of hopelessness, the more the disorders worsen, and if in the initial stages it is possible to cope even with physical problems by adjusting the psychological component, then later you have to seek help from physical specialists.
Ten signs you're depressed: when is it time to see a doctor?
Every person has dark streaks in their life. Constant workload, “overwhelmed” projects and conflicts with superiors. Misunderstanding on the part of loved ones. Life plans collapse over and over again - due to external circumstances, or due to the fact that there is no strength to realize everything planned. It seems that external circumstances are constantly trying to interfere. Gradually a person gets tired of all this, gives up, it seems that nothing will change, and it will only get worse...
What is it: fatigue, professional burnout...or a disease that is time to be treated?
Of course, each of us reacts to failure differently. Some people seem to be unbreakable by any difficulties, while others are easily and permanently unsettled by a rude word from a loved one or colleague at work. Where does a normal reaction end and a pathological reaction begin?
Depression is not a sign of “damaged character.” This disease has very specific causes, although they are not fully understood. It is believed that in such people the functioning of certain chemical compounds in the brain is disrupted, in particular serotonin , the “happiness hormone”. Other factors are superimposed on the molecular mechanisms: improper upbringing and a “nervous” situation in the family, some character traits, neuroses, increased anxiety, frequent and severe stress, increased physical, mental, and emotional stress.
Although the causes are not entirely clear, the symptoms of depression are well known. Below we have given a list of the ten most characteristic manifestations. If you have some of them, and they persist for more than two weeks, this is a sure “bell” signaling that it’s time for you to visit a psychotherapist.
Feeling of hopelessness
It seems that things are going very badly, that you have achieved nothing in life, that you are not capable of anything. There is no clear light ahead: you believe that nothing will change for the better, and it will only get worse. You realize that you cannot do anything, somehow correct the negative course of events.
Loss of interest in daily activities
Work is no longer enjoyable and seems meaningless. Perhaps you used to have interesting hobbies and favorite activities, but now they don’t bring you joy. Apathy arises - unwillingness to do anything. In the most severe cases, people do not experience the joy of communicating with loved ones and friends, neglect household chores, stop taking care of themselves and performing basic hygiene procedures.
Changes in appetite, body weight
Many people suffering from depression experience decreased appetite, even loss of appetite. A person can go to the other extreme; he begins to constantly “eat up” stress. Body weight changes accordingly – up or down. An “alarm bell” can be considered a situation when you have gained and lost 5% of your previous weight.
Sleep changes
People with depression often suffer from insomnia. Sleep disorders can be different, but they are most common in the morning, when a person wakes up very early and after that cannot fall asleep.
Emotional problems
Most often, depression is described with the succinct phrase “bad mood.” This is a kind of calling card of the disease. But in fact, the spectrum of emotional disorders is much wider. Increased anxiety, constant restlessness, increased irritability, even aggression towards others may cause concern. Often there are resentments, a reluctance to communicate with other people, a desire to “disappear so that no one touches.”
Increased fatigue
You may have noticed that during the day you quickly run out of energy and feel like you've been squeezed out of a lemon. I don’t want to do anything, everything literally falls out of my hands. Not in the mood. I don’t want to not only work, but also do things I previously loved, meet friends, attend events. Small tasks that were previously solved with a snap of a finger now take more time and make you more tired.
Increased self-criticism
A person suffering from depression often reacts very painfully to his mistakes and shortcomings. He constantly engages in self-flagellation. Typical thoughts: “I’m good for nothing,” “no one likes me, no one needs me,” “my life is meaningless,” “it’s all my fault.” The same “record” is constantly playing in your head - situations in which you screwed up, acted ugly, wrong.
Risky behavior
Trying to somehow “shake up” and get rid of negative thoughts and emotions, a person with depression often begins to commit reckless actions that are dangerous for themselves and others. He smokes a lot, abuses alcohol and psychoactive substances, drives fast, gambles, indulges in extreme sports and all sorts of adventures.
Problems concentrating
You may have begun to notice that it is becoming increasingly difficult for you to concentrate on important matters, solve assigned tasks, make decisions, and remember information.
Unexplained physical symptoms
Depression may cause headaches, pain in the chest, back, muscles, and stomach. What is characteristic is not so much the presence of symptoms as the absence of any tangible cause. A person has a heartache, but the doctor, listening to the chest with a phonendoscope, finds nothing unusual, blood pressure is normal, and ECG results show that the person is healthy.
Depression can occur at any age, in people of any gender, and it does not just go away. Over time, the situation gets worse. It is necessary to establish the correct diagnosis and begin treatment. Make an appointment with a doctor at the Cordia Clinic .
Requests for help Write your story Hello! I want to ask you for help. Maybe someone can tell me what to do in such a situation. At the moment I am at the very bottom of my life. All my attempts to get out of this lead to nothing. To tell you briefly, a month ago the dearest and closest person who replaced my mother died. The whole meaning of my life revolved around him. Now there is emptiness, a feeling that no one needs me and life has no meaning. The future appears to me only in a black light. Now I am 25 years old and it seems that the rest of my life I will simply live out. The gloomy thoughts are aggravated by the fact that my personal life is not going well and it seems to me that I will spend the rest of my life alone. I don’t like myself terribly, I constantly blame myself for everything, reproach myself. No matter how funny it may sound, it’s hard for me to live in my society. I used to live for my adoptive mother, but living for myself is disgusting. This feeling of hopelessness, the meaninglessness of everything just kills me. I want to love myself, enjoy life, but I don’t know how to do it.
Anastasia, age: 25 / 11/22/2013
Responses:
Hello, Anastasia! It’s hard for you - a loved one has died. Pray for the repose of your adoptive mother, you can also order a magpie in any Temple (if she was baptized) - and they will pray for her for 40 days. But your life doesn’t end there! Therefore, you need to change your attitude from “get by” to “set new goals and achieve them.” For example, you want to start a family, have children - but if you can’t meet people in life - you can meet on the Internet - my wife and I met here: https://azbyka.ru/znakomstva/ And turn to God - you will already be with Him not alone - He will help and guide you through life - just ask! Happiness to you and Guardian Angel!
Mikhail, age: 44 / 11/22/2013
Hello, Anastasia!
I sympathize that your closest person has died. I haven't had this happen, so I can't imagine how it would be. As for not loving myself, I hated myself until I was 26, and now I still have such thoughts, but I already know where they come from. We are all imperfect. You can find so many nasty traits in everyone! But we LIVE. This means God needs it! He loves us and ACCEPTS us as we are, with all our “giblets,” excuse the expression. It’s much worse when a person admires himself and says, “Well, how cool I am, better than everyone else around me.” I think now you have reached a NEW stage in life, when you need to LEARN to live not for someone, but just like that. I don’t specifically say “FOR MYSELF.” And the Lord does not allow anything to happen in vain. I also don’t always manage to love myself (which essentially means accepting who I am). But this is a process, like any learning. You have to learn this. And it is very important to learn to treat your shortcomings with humor. I know for sure that you will succeed. And, believe me, your case is not the most advanced. Look at these glamorous narcissistic Indians who not only love, but admire themselves and see everything around them in the light of their “I”, and you will say that THANK God that He did not let you become so blind that you cannot see anyone but yourself . And I also advise you in a friendly way - read the Gospel, it is truly God’s Word and it HEALS souls. It says a lot about the character of Christ and His relationship to us. He “will not break a bruised reed, nor quench the smoking flax” Matthew 17:20. By the way, my personal life, too, did not work out for a very long time, but in due time (which everyone really has their own), the Lord sent me the kind of man that everyone can only dream of. And now I REGRET SO MUCH that I dated others before him, that I wasted my time on trifles, that I did not value myself! And he is 38 years old and he was also not married, but unlike many, he was waiting for his woman and did not give himself away left and right (he is also a believer). It's hard to believe, but it's true. The Lord is in control of everything. May He bless you and guide you on the true and best path for you. Because He knows your heart and knows more than you know about yourself.
Lydia, age: 27/11/22/2013
Anastasia, please accept my condolences. Try reading prayers for a deceased loved one. This helped me at the time. It’s strange, at that time I was not baptized, did not go to church and did not want to come to terms with the idea that God still exists. I heard that the Psalter was being read for the departed. I started reading: I couldn’t understand a word. But for some reason my soul became lighter. Enjoy life, make bright plans... when a loved one died a month ago?! In my opinion, this looks like a mental disorder. Thank God you are a normal healthy person. Try to think less about yourself, your personal life and your future (not that moment). Remember more the good that a person did to you. About a dear soul who now needs your prayerful help.
Elena Ordinary, age: 37 / 11/22/2013
Hello, Anastasia! Those feelings and ideas about the future that you are visiting now are quite understandable! This happens when a loved one passes away! The most important thing is to get out of this state! This situation is familiar to our family! My grandmother buried two children! What I didn’t experience after that! But she managed it and I believe that you can handle it! A very good start in the last sentence! The main thing is that you want to love yourself! Do you want to enjoy life! And it doesn’t matter that you don’t yet know how to do it! You are a unique creature, you live and this makes sense! May God bless you!
Dobry, age: 40 / 11/22/2013
Many people have a feeling of hopelessness, sometimes for good reason, and sometimes out of nowhere. I don’t know what to do with this and how to deal with it, I’m in the same position. It helps to subdue this feeling a little, the understanding that someone is much worse off, someone is in much more pain, someone is without a roof over their head, someone is sick and cannot be cured, someone simply has nothing to eat. Despair, of course it finishes you off, but just think about it - what are you itching for? There are hands, there is a roof over your head, there is something to eat too. What else do you need? You didn’t see the grief, you got stuck. But my head understands, but my soul hurts. Something is wrong, something you and I misunderstand in this life. But you have to live, meaning is possible and will come with time, with comprehension, with understanding.
Evgeniy, age: 39 / 11/23/2013
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How to get rid of hopelessness?
Hello. I don’t know who else to talk to...
I am a girl, married, I am 20 years old. I’ll start from the end and say that despite everything stated below, I have a wonderful family, a wonderful, loving husband with whom in two years of marriage we quarreled only once, and then because of a stupid argument. I seriously think that my husband is generally the best husband (since he still loves me and hasn’t sent me away) in the world and these are not empty words or flattery in his honor, and he is my only antidepressant.
But that’s not the point, of course. When we met, I was in my 2nd year at the institute. Although, how can I say, I studied... I always skipped classes, in the first year 3-4 classes a week, in the 2nd year I could not appear there for 14 days). I have never been a diligent student, everything was always relatively easy for me and I passed some exams without preparation, after seeing the teacher for the first time. Nevertheless, I closed the sessions, albeit not always immediately, but to some extent I had a sense of responsibility, “you go or don’t go, but pass the exam,” I told myself. While living in a dorm while studying, I tried to read a lot (not mostly fiction), drew wallpapers for the girls’ phones in Photoshop and all sorts of caricatures, and tried to keep myself busy with something. Even though I wasn’t able to be a good student, I showed maximum effort in what was interesting to me and always tried to finish what I started (once I read 5 books in six days, I read almost non-stop). We lived in our little room, apart from the others, but very friendly, so my life was not bad :).
Then I met my husband, and everything started to happen so much that after 2 weeks I moved in with him. And at that moment I stopped going to university. I learned to cook well, but I cook at most once a week (my husband taught me how to cook, by the way). I take care of the house haphazardly; it has never been perfectly clean. But this is all a prelude... After some time, my husband had to leave work and there is no way to go back to work (I won’t describe the circumstances, but they are completely out of our control, seriously. We have money, enough for all our needs, we don’t have a cafe We go but we don’t live in poverty, where it comes from is not relevant, don’t think badly, it’s not your parents’ money). The situation is this: the two of us have been sitting at home for almost two years, although it’s hard to call it a home, it’s a cage. We spent seven months playing WoW (the game) so as not to die of boredom, then we spent six months preparing for the wedding, now we are again disconnecting from real life through the Internet and games. I can not take it anymore. During this time, I finished reading only one (!!!!!!) book, although I took so many books... I don’t go to school, last school year I was able to get through two weeks of September, this year it lasted the whole month of September. I have no adequate reason why I go there, I have to lie to my parents... There is absolutely nothing to justify my behavior. I don’t have any girlfriends at all, the only people I talk to are my husband and mom, and sometimes dad. My phone rings every day at the same time and it's a call from my mom. I can’t express all this to real people, my husband and I try not to discuss this nonsense, but my mother simply won’t understand. I can’t do this anymore, I’m already secretly hoping that I’ll die from something, I don’t have the strength to decide. It’s simply unbearable, sometimes I don’t leave the house for a month at all (not even to go to the store), bitch, I can’t even just go outside for a walk. I decided to start knitting to do at least something, but no, I haven’t been able to finish knitting a damn SCARF for 3 months now (!!!). I can't finish absolutely anything. And in general I don’t want anything. No interest in life. It’s the same with my husband, but when he’s around I just don’t think about all this. Only he has an objective reason to stay at home and it is temporary, but I do not. I hate waking up. I can hardly believe that I can change anything. I’m afraid to pick up my documents from the institute, my parents will be completely disappointed in me, and the exams are a year and a half away, although I understand that it’s necessary, it’s scary. I don't believe this will ever end. I won’t get an education, I won’t find a job, I won’t learn to communicate with people, I won’t find a single girlfriend, and sooner or later I will die in this kennel from my own insignificance and meaninglessness. I don’t do anything, I don’t go anywhere, I don’t communicate with anyone, I don’t live.
I couldn't convey even a hundredth of the emotions I was experiencing. The text is dry, the emotions are murderous. I thought it would get easier, because I couldn’t tell anyone all this, but it didn’t make me feel much better. There is still an anchor in my soul that pulls me down. Sorry for the wall of boring text.
How to get rid of the feeling of hopelessness? (1 answer)
Despair and hopelessness
In the life of every person, events can occur that will plunge him into a state of despair and hopelessness, and it will be very difficult for him to get out of this state. Yes, sometimes life drives a person into a dead end and hits him with all his might, knocking him down and forcing him to suffer. And only a few of us, finding ourselves in an extremely difficult situation, in a dead end, can find the strength to get out of it with dignity. Many, unfortunately, in difficult situations lose heart and fall into despair. But despair and hopelessness, fear and pain, loss of spirit and loss of faith in the best and in oneself - these are the tests that each of us must go through in our lives. And so that you know, dear readers, how to get through these trials, how to find a way out of even the most hopeless situation, I suggest you carefully and thoughtfully read this article, in which I will not only give you the knowledge necessary to overcome any difficulties in life, but and I will charge you with positive energy that will allow you to apply this knowledge.
A person who experiences a feeling of hopelessness and despair, and does not see a way out of the situation that is bad for him, in which he finds himself by coincidence, is under the power of extremely negative emotions. It seems to him that there is, in principle, no way out of his situation, although in fact he simply does not look for it, because he cannot look for it, because for this he needs to get rid of his dark emotions and start thinking, but emotions are very strong and they they don’t let go - they rule over him. Emotions, especially negative ones, in a difficult situation are a person’s main enemy. Being in a calm state, you all, I am sure, just like me, believe that there is always a way out of any situation, no matter how difficult it is. And looking at a person who finds himself in a difficult situation from the outside, you can give him a lot of correct advice on how to get out of this situation. But once you find yourself in a similar situation and feel hopelessness in your own emotions, you also won’t know what and how you need to do to cope with yourself and your problems. When we fall into despair, we do not see what we usually see when we look at the same situation from the outside, without experiencing negative emotions. Of course, not all problems can be solved by us, even in the most calm state, since for this we still need to have the necessary knowledge that allows us to solve this or that problem. But in order to at least find the right direction in which to move in order to solve their problems, it is important for a person to remain in a calm state, because without calm we are not able to control ourselves, we are not able to fully understand what is happening to us. Therefore, I will tell you how to come to calm and begin to think constructively, because as you can see, the solution to the problem we are considering depends primarily on this.
What happened? Who is to blame for this? Where will all this lead? And what should you do to solve your problem? These are the questions that we have to answer when we fall into despair and feel hopelessness, when we are scared and we do not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes these questions pop into our heads on their own, and sometimes we need to pose them to ourselves in order to understand what is happening in our lives. I suggest you, dear friends, answer these questions in reverse order in order to answer them correctly and generally answer them, and not leave them in limbo. So, what to do in a situation in which you experience a feeling of despair and hopelessness, as well as a number of other negative feelings that poison your life? It is obvious that you must first calm down and get rid of all the emotions that overcome you, regardless of the situation in which you find yourself. Being under the influence of negative emotions, you will not be able to solve your problems even with the help of a specialist, because you simply will not listen to him and understand what he is telling you. Therefore, by the way, experienced psychologists, before advising anything to their clients, try to calm them down, and only after the person calms down do they begin a thoughtful discussion with them about their problems. So how can you get rid of negative emotions and start thinking constructively? To do this, you need to abstract yourself from the reality that is unpleasant for you, you need to look at it and at yourself from the outside. This is not easy to do, but it is possible, and most importantly, necessary.
You need to have a good imagination to be able to look at yourself, at your despair, at your fear, anger, resentment, at the imaginary hopelessness of your situation, from the outside. This is easy for some, difficult for others, but everyone, I assure you, everyone can abstract themselves from their problems and the emotions associated with them. Therefore, you need to try to do this in order to calm down. After all, what does hopelessness mean? It means hopelessness when a person is convinced that there is no way out of the situation in which he finds himself! But is this possible in this world? Do hopeless situations even exist in it? Of course not. There is always a way out of any situation. But to find it, you need to look at your situation from the outside in order to see what we do not see when looking at it from the first person. So, in order to abstract yourself from your problems and the emotions associated with them, you need to talk and think of yourself as a third party whose problem you want to solve. Don’t consider the problem you have as your own, consider it someone else’s – the person in whom you are used to seeing yourself. It is not you who find yourself in a difficult situation, but he, the person with whom you associate yourself, who finds himself in a difficult situation, and your task, and you are pure reason, first of all is to get this person out of that emotional state , in which he resides and which blinds him. And then, together with him, you will be able to get him out of the difficult situation in which he finds himself. Think about this possibility of solving problems that arise in your life, accept into your life, into your consciousness, this scenario of your actions in order to use it in stressful situations. After all, the problem with abstraction arises much more often among those people who have no idea at all about a similar state of their own consciousness, in which a person speaks and thinks about himself in the third person and in this state solves, and very effectively, all his problems. Some people even criticize those who practice this way of solving their problems, and argue that a person who talks about himself in the third person is some kind of abnormal person. Don't attach any importance to this point of view. She is unfaithful! Abnormal is the person who cannot solve his problems due to his lack of control over his own emotional state, and the one who, God forbid, comes to the conclusion that his life is meaningless and begins to think about interrupting it. That's what's abnormal, that's what's scary! People who fall into depression and stay there for many years, depriving themselves of the opportunity to fully communicate with the outside world - these are the ones with whom everything is really not all right, these are the ones who are abnormal, and who clearly need help. And the one who tries to calm himself down in order to solve his problems by speaking and thinking about himself in the third person is a very normal and mentally healthy person. So be sure to resort to the technique I suggested for working with your own consciousness in order to get rid of negative emotions and help yourself in the same way as you could help another person, looking at him from the outside, who finds himself in a difficult situation and has fallen into a state of despair and hopelessness. Forget about the fact that what is happening to you is what is happening, and think about how you would help a person who found himself in a similar situation, what advice would you give him, what would you suggest he do to solve his problems? Well, therefore, just listen to your own advice and solve your problems.
In addition to the above, friends, you need to include in your circle of concepts the idea that the Universe is multivariate, and each situation can have an infinite number of solutions. These decisions can be anything, good or bad for you. Perhaps it is difficult for you to believe this or you do not want to believe it, preferring to see yourself in a hopeless situation, in a dead end from which there is no way out, but so far, human experience indicates that this is exactly the case. Consequently, the situation in which you feel a sense of despair and hopelessness has a scenario in which you will feel like a happy person and everything will be fine with you. And in general, any situation has a lot of positive scenarios for the development of events, even if in the current state this situation seems catastrophic and there is no way out of it. You don't need to argue with this or think too much about this theory of a multi-probability future, for now I'm just asking you to include it in your circle of concepts. Accept the possibility that this can happen, and that even a situation in which there is no way out, which is simply terrible for you or for someone else, can end for you and for this person in the most favorable way. Either your brain will work on this theory, trying to help you overcome a difficult emotional state - an emotional crisis, so that you find a solution to your problems, or this theory will be used in working with you by a psychologist to whom you turn for help. The main thing is that you understand that hopeless situations do not exist in our world. In our brain, yes, they can exist, but in the world, in the Universe known to us, no. So no matter how hard it is for you now, or for someone else whom you want to help - know that all this is a temporary feeling of despair, hopelessness, doom, fear, anger and other negative emotions and feelings that poison the mind and soul of a person . With certain actions on the part of the person experiencing these emotions and feelings, they can immediately leave him. What specific actions can cause this to happen? More on this below.
So, the last and most important thing I want to tell you, dear readers, and what I would like you to focus all your attention on is your desire to help yourself. You may not believe me, but I, as an experienced person, say, because I know it, that many people simply do not want to help themselves, and they do not want others to help them, and therefore do not look for a way out of those difficult situations in which which life takes them. They like to be in these situations, they like to be a victim and suffer. For example, and this has been proven by many scientists, which you yourself can find out on the Internet and in the relevant literature, many hopelessly ill people, in their thoughts, which they may not even realize, do not want to get better, and therefore die. And vice versa, those hopelessly ill people who not only believe, but sincerely want to recover, are cured even from the most incurable diseases. These are not miracles, this is one of the laws of the Universe, which has not yet been fully studied by people, but exists and works. And this law tells us that, if not everything, then a lot depends on our desires. And first of all, it depends on our desires whether we will be happy people or suffer. When you find yourself in a difficult life situation, you should think about how much you want to change it. After all, if you like to suffer, then no one will be able to help you solve your problems, and even more so you yourself will not be able to help yourself. There are people who really like to tell everyone how terrible their life is, how bad everything is and how they suffer. They look for and find negativity in everything and then twist, twist, twist other negative thoughts onto it, driving themselves into an even darker state. They constantly whine, constantly complain about their unhappy fate, constantly talk about their suffering, often repeatedly exaggerating their significance and seriousness. Such people, of their own free will, fall into a state of despair and hopelessness and do not want to get out of it. Why do they need this? They want to suffer, they want to take pleasure in pain and suffering, just as people take pleasure in hurting themselves through alcohol and tobacco. I will not go deeper into this topic now, since it cannot be described in a few words, so we will leave it for other articles. But you should know that without a sincere desire to get rid of negative emotions and feelings, a person will not get rid of them.
In my work, I constantly come across people who don’t want everything to be good for them - they want to suffer, they like it. And when, after long-term communication with them and attempts to help them, I understand that they resist me and do not want to accept my help, I ask them a direct question - why don’t they want everything to be fine with them? I don’t ask this question to everyone, because not everyone is morally ready for it, many people don’t even realize that they like to suffer, that they like to see the hopelessness of their situation and the meaninglessness of their life. But those people who, from my point of view, are ready for this question answer me that they do not know why they do not need either my or their own help. They don't understand why they don't want to be happy, but want to suffer. And from this moment, we begin a completely different work with them. That is, you must first understand why you cannot do what you need to do to solve your problems. After all, it’s all about a person’s desire - he decides whether to be happy or suffer.
As for you, dear friends, you need to thoroughly understand yourself and your life in order to try to find in it the pattern of what happened to you. I don’t say one hundred percent, but I admit the possibility that you yourself have driven yourself, perhaps without even realizing it, into the state in which you are now. Despair and hopelessness are not independent phenomena in this world, they are just one of the states of our mind and our soul. And this state, if you remain in it, even if it did not become the result of your unconscious desire, then in any case, thanks to your already fully conscious desire, it can leave you. This requires that you desire it, and then show the will to bring yourself out of this state. And now that I told you about this, you can return to my words that the Universe is multivariate, that your future has a lot of possible options, both good and bad, and it depends on you what scenario it will develop according to your future life. Agree, now it is much easier to believe. Now that you know how powerful your desire can be, your faith begins to acquire the healing power for which it is famous. You know that if a person believes in the best, then the best will come? But in order to believe in something, you need to want it, because without a person’s desire, faith is powerless. In addition, you will not be satisfied with faith alone; it is always followed by specific actions that need to be taken in order to get to where you want to be. Believing is easy, but not always effective. But understanding what your faith is based on and what its meaning is - this is a more effective approach to solving your problems.
What your emotional and spiritual state will be like and how your future life will develop depends on your desires, dear friends. You don’t need to think about any specific scenario that would completely suit you, just decide for yourself what you want - for everything to be good for you, or for everything to be bad. And try to explain your choice to yourself. And only after your desire is conscious and accepted by you, begin to search for the scenario in which your future will be the way you want it to be. I assure you, you will definitely find this option. This means that the feeling of despair and hopelessness will be replaced by a feeling of joy and happiness, based on which you will take all the actions required of you to fulfill your desire.
