Every girl hopes that she has met the ideal chosen one and acquired a permanent life partner, plunges headlong into newly surging feelings, makes plans for the future and is very disappointed when the man does not live up to her expectations. A representative of the stronger sex may turn out to be flighty, unreliable, married, but at the same time he shows care, tenderness and beautifully looks after. Therefore, every lady has a question: “How does he really treat me? How to recognize the sincerity of feelings and emotions? The catch can be caught in a look, words, actions that at first seem natural and real to you.
Psychology of relations between the sexes
With the help of relationships, people satisfy their basic needs: receive support, approval, mutual understanding. The success of a relationship depends on the coincidence of lovers’ ideas about relationships. Predictably, representatives of both sexes want to receive:
- Emotional intimacy. Includes support, admiration, caring, willingness to listen, and help. Men need it no less than women, they just talk about it less often.
- Shared household management. Carrying out household chores is an unpleasant chore, but it is impossible to get rid of it. Therefore, it is necessary to immediately stipulate who is responsible for cleaning, cooking, and other household needs, and who earns money for the family.
- Matching sexual preferences. The intimate part of a relationship is important to everyone. A woman is considered to be sexually passive. This is simply a prejudice that interferes with a normal intimate life. The constraint and detachment of a mistress will disappoint an ardent admirer and leave his partner unsatisfied.
- A successful choice of a partner increases social status. It is important for everyone to be accepted and respected by the team, so subconsciously everyone wants to get a partner who will contribute to this.
- Confirmation of your worth. Close relationships have a beneficial effect on mental health. Feeling needed, loved is pleasant and useful - it lifts your spirits and increases your self-esteem.
Representatives of both sexes evaluate each interested candidate on their own scale. The more matches there are to the list of requirements, the higher the chances of getting a reciprocal relationship.
Attitude of a man to a woman
Men change their attitude towards women depending on age, social status, and characteristics of upbringing. Young guys strive to compete: the more girls there are, the higher the social status. It is useless to expect a serious relationship from guys; they prefer an easy, entertaining pastime. This is a feature of age that needs to be accepted. There are exceptions - young men who are initially determined to have a long-term romance, but this is very rare.
The period of active “hunting” ends by the age of 20–25. The matured young man understands: it’s time to think about the future. He is looking for a girl who shares his views and aspirations and is interested in building a career. Sometimes the period of infatuation with short-term relationships lasts up to 30 years. It is easy to recognize such a man - he is childish, afraid of responsibility, and prefers to give the woman leadership. He doesn’t care about his career, he goes with the flow. A female leader prefers such a relationship, but a soft follower girl needs a mature man.
After 30 years, a man settles down, and thoughts about family come to the fore. The companion of a mature man should be ready to start a family, manage everyday life, and raise children. The reason for divorce in adulthood is different ideas about family life: if one spouse is focused only on a career, the other will feel deprived and deceived.
Only people whose life interests coincide can create harmonious relationships. Therefore, before making far-reaching plans, you need to find out exactly about your partner’s intentions.
Confidence
Women love confident guys. Even if you are not exactly that kind of person, try to do everything to look confident and don’t make you doubt yourself. Being confident doesn't mean being an alpha male. It is enough to keep your word. If you decide to do something, then do it. Let there be excitement and fear. Even if this is visible, there is nothing terrible about it, because in the end it is you who does it, not the girl. Maybe she is even less worried about taking this or that action, but you do it and no one else.
Every person has their own phobias and there are no people who are absolutely fearless. Not every man is a superman, but history knows great people who do great things even in a wheelchair!
Showing feelings
Men are less emotional than women. This difference is explained by objective and subjective reasons:
- Hormonal background. The menstrual cycle is accompanied by constant changes in a woman's hormonal levels. Unreasonable depression, irritation or depression appear during PMS, ovulation, or directly during menstruation. The symptoms may be minor, but some girls find it very difficult to cope with sudden mood swings.
- Character traits. The tendency to violent emotional reactions depends on temperament - the innate characteristics of the nervous system. It cannot be changed, which is why some people are more sociable and open from childhood, while others are closed and distant.
- Differences in parenting methods. Children have different requirements. Girls are looked after, encouraged to be infantile and actively express emotions. Boys are expected to be serious, collected, and in control of emotions.
As a result, men grow up believing that emotionality is the prerogative of women. They get used to expressing their attitude and affection through deeds: care, willingness to help, provision of protection.
Young girls, meeting a man who is interested in them, expect compliments, adoration, and admiration for their beauty from him. If a man is also not experienced, he will remain silent, not understanding what is expected of him. The girl is disappointed, worried, nervous, the man is irritated and distances himself.
"The Dying Swan"
There are times when you need to treat a guy with special care. There is no more defenseless person than a sick person. All this goes towards his upbringing: the boy is taught that during illness the world revolves around him. But this is a great moment for the fair sex to show off their advantage. Making hot broth or raspberry tea, care and attention will do the trick. The satellite will quickly get to its feet.
How to behave with a man
In manuals written by pseudo-psychologists, girls are advised to use manipulation as a surefire means of conquering a man. If this really helped, there would be many more happy families.
Manipulation is a hidden form of lying. Before using it to create a relationship, a girl must decide if this is what she really wants. Manipulation assumes that a man is initially incapable of honest relationships, he cannot be trusted, it is better to deceive first. Play, provoke, make you jealous, worry, doubt. Often this strategy brings results - an intrigued man tries to solve the riddle. But this cannot be called falling in love or interest in a person. As soon as the girl loosens her grip and changes her style of behavior, the interest will pass.
Blatant manipulation is easy to recognize. The man, having seen through the deceitful intentions, will predictably prefer to deceive in advance or simply disappear, leaving the girl to guess where she made a mistake. Manipulation initially assumes that the partner is irresponsible, stupid, selfish, and superficial. If a man is really like that, starting a relationship with him is simply dangerous. Any normal man would be offended by this attitude.
The foundation of a healthy relationship is trust. Playing the role of cunning prey and slow-witted hunter leads to scandals, mutual disappointment, and fear of new relationships.
No one knows how to read another’s thoughts, guess desires, or understand the motives of actions. Frank conversations are the only way to reach mutual understanding.
"The Iron Mask", or Rule Five
In the harsh world of men, it is not customary to show emotions. A real hero always wears a mask: no one should see his face. The ability to “keep a mark” and hide experiences is a distinctive feature of the strongest half of humanity. A man who has troubles at work is the most withdrawn, taciturn and gloomy creature in the world. All he wants when he is going through a difficult period in his life is for his household, along with the woman he loves, to leave him alone.
At this moment, various bad thoughts enter the woman’s head, and she begins to think about them. Having gone through the worst options for the development of the relationship, the girl becomes offended and withdraws into herself, and then the young man has one more headache. Or he begins to interrogate his loved one with passion about what plunged him into world sorrow. In order for a man to cope with something - to survive betrayal, resentment or solve a difficult problem - he needs to digest it within himself.
And we have to be patient. After all, after a man solves his problems in his head, we will receive a well-deserved reward: he will return in a wonderful mood and ready to communicate.
How to achieve reciprocity
It is believed that the man must take the first step. But representatives of the stronger sex are also afraid of rejection and neglect. Therefore, they do not actively try to get closer until they are convinced that the woman has feelings for them.
To let her beloved understand the seriousness of her intentions, a girl should:
- Respect his personal space. Everyone needs to be alone with themselves from time to time. In men, this need is more developed. Being alone with their thoughts helps them get rid of nervous tension. Trying to have a serious conversation at such moments is harmful - the man will decide that his feelings are being neglected.
- Speak directly, without hints. Conflicts need to be resolved immediately. The misunderstanding that has arisen needs to be discussed without asking the man to guess why his beloved is dissatisfied.
- Don't get into a showdown over nonsense. Scandalists are annoying. The more often they make complaints, the more tension and dissatisfaction accumulates. To resolve a controversial situation, you need to be able to forget about your own egoism and seek a compromise.
- Involve in household work. Shared territory is the main sign of a serious relationship. When a guy understands that a girl is counting on him, he feels like a full-fledged owner of the house and gradually gets used to the role of a family man.
- Be frank. The best way to get what you want is to be honest about it. If a girl wants a serious relationship, it is much more useful to say it directly. This way she will immediately find out whether she can count on reciprocal feelings and decide how best to behave in case of refusal.
It is important to strike a balance between determination and assertiveness. Men love initiative, but prefer to leave decisions to themselves. You can’t put pressure, demand, blackmail. The partner values freedom most of all and does not forgive attempts on it. A woman who respects this feature will always stand out from others.
What can his eyes tell?
Facial expressions are those signs that are very difficult to control. If you can remain silent when the object of your adoration appears, then hiding movements and gestures that occur spontaneously in the subconscious is not an easy task.
View direction
Usually, when talking to a person, we look into their eyes. A guy who likes a girl is shy, trying to avoid direct gaze.
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Duration
A fleeting delay of attention in front of the interlocutor’s eyes can be carried out only to get acquainted with her reaction to certain words. 80% of the time is spent looking at lips and nose.
Concentration of attention
The guy tries to closely examine the girl he likes - he roams his eyes all over the body, studying all the details, and is rarely distracted by external factors.
Pupils
If they are expanded (not taking into account the use of narcotic drugs), the man experiences attraction, passion and a desire to touch.
Brows
Sometimes people raise them unconsciously to open their eyes wider and better see the detail of interest. If a girl notices that a young man has raised his eyebrows during a conversation, this is a clear sign of interest in the interlocutor.
Other gestures
When a young person is attracted to any action, person or object, he exhibits a high salivation. To avoid showing it, he begins to purse or lick his lips.
He often leans towards you, tries to touch you, shuffles his feet, crosses his arms - this is an indicator of slight excitement, vulnerability, indecisiveness and, of course, sincere sympathy.
Man's expression of love
To correctly understand the intentions of your loved one, you need to remember the difference in the ways a man and a woman express love. Love psychology shows that women value conditional romance most, while men value concrete actions.
You can tell that a man is truly in love by his behavior. Love is shown through:
- Sudden awkwardness. A self-confident macho becomes nervous next to the object of sincere interest. He tries hard to impress, which makes him even more worried.
- Unreasonable jealousy. A man is pleased when his companion attracts attention - this means that out of all the options he chose the best and desired one. But you shouldn’t abuse this - everyone wants to be the only one for their loved one.
- Increased attention and care. A partner may give gifts to his mistress, but will never agree to take her cat to the veterinarian or help her rearrange the furniture.
- Meeting friends. The opinion of friends is very important for men. If he is ready to show off his chosen one to his friends, it means that she really means a lot to him.
- Future plans. Marriage for a man is associated with living together. If he buys a rug for the hallway, he’s ready to discuss the color of the curtains—you can look for a future shared apartment.
At the early stage of a relationship, it is too early to talk about seriousness. You can understand whether this is really love after 4-6 months. During this time, the first charm wears off, the relationship ends, or moves to a new level, becoming more mature and serious.
How a man chooses his wife
A beloved woman is a social status, the last step before marriage. Most men take marriage very seriously. Starting a family is a responsible step; even after several years of relationship, it is difficult for a man to decide to propose.
In his future life partner, a man is looking for:
- willingness to take on certain household responsibilities;
- soft, stable character, ability to negotiate;
- love for children;
- respect for your partner;
- desire for stability;
- ability to maintain a conversation;
- similarity of temperaments.
In order to quickly receive the long-awaited proposal, a woman needs to match her lover’s ideas about an ideal wife as much as possible. But often a man refuses to directly indicate preferences; a woman has to guess her expectations through trial and error. In order not to spoil the relationship with excessive importunity, psychologists advise observing his relationship with his mother. She is the ideal woman of most men; he looks for her traits in the girl he loves, enduring love and reverent attitude. The mother's opinion can be decisive. We can confidently say: the favor of the future mother-in-law is a guarantee of a quick marriage.
Secret one: mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes in life, but not everyone admits them. Most guys apologize if they feel guilty towards their loved one. In other cases, they are happy to find the culprit: a neighbor, a dog, or a casual acquaintance.
The main reason is to appear perfect, even in the presence of guilt. At such moments, you should not point out errors, otherwise the chosen one may live up to the worst expectations. The husband’s psychology is structured in such a way that he will not agree with his wrongness. Therefore, the wife can assess the situation from his point of view or insist on her own. In the first case, it will give strength to the spouse. He will begin to strive to realize his hopes and will certainly achieve success.
