How to get a guy out of the friend zone and start dating a girl

Talking about how I love her, and she says that she loves her, but as a brother, has long become commonplace. True, back then there was no such fashionable word as friend zone, which defines such a situation. For some reason, people are more concerned not with how to avoid getting into it, but with how to get out of the friend zone. To answer this question, you need to understand how they get there and what mistakes should be avoided.

Friendzone - who is she?_8212

And yet, what is the friend zone? There is no friendship between the sexes. There are common interests and equality of relationships, but over time someone will begin to feel something more than friendly warmth. Most often this happens to men. Friendship and communication are born.

Then sympathy appears, the young man shows all signs of attention. The girl also understands that he is not indifferent to her and begins to take advantage of this state of affairs. As a result, the young man fully courtes the girl, and in return she only gives a drop of hope for something more.

Consciously assess the situation

CONTENT:

Men friendzoning women is rare, but it does happen. Even recognized smart and beautiful women experienced situations when they fell in love, but in response they received cold words: “let’s remain friends,” “I wouldn’t want to spoil our friendship,” “you are a sister to me.” So the lovely creatures found themselves “overboard” from serious relationships.

When a woman sends her boyfriend to the friend zone, he can easily get out of there, winning his heart with his beloved care and warmth. If a guy tells a girl that she is his best friend, it means he has added her to his “eternal friends list.” Psychologists say that it is much more difficult for a girl to leave the friend zone. This process is complex, but feasible. Recognize this so you can choose the right behavior.

Zone types

An obvious friend zone is when a girl immediately decided to dot all the i’s and, out of respect, explained to her “friend” that he cannot count on anything more than he already has. But still she does not stop taking advantage of her “friend’s” reliability. This can happen after admitting feelings or making any attempts to express them.

The hidden friend zone is dangerous because you can spend a lot of time there, wasting it. During this time, you can build a healthy and mutual relationship with another person, and not pray for your unrequited chosen one.

How to understand that you are in his friend zone: 10 signs

In relationships, it is sometimes difficult to determine the format. If you doubt what is happening, do not know what the male friend zone means, what it looks like and how to define it, check the list of its markers.

• He does not see you alone or does so rarely and does not seek one-on-one meetings.
• He shares personal things with you and is not shy about discussing other girls and relationships with them.
• He's genuinely interested in your personal life the way a girlfriend might be, and tries to introduce you to his friends if you don't have anyone.
• He doesn't do anything romantic.
• He does not try to get closer and keeps the relationship at an established distance.
• When he shows care, helps or supports, he acts the way your mother, friend or brother might.
• He says “you’re like a sister to me,” “you’re a great friend,” or “I wish I had a girl like you.”
• He is confused by attempts to add more physical contact and does not respond to them.
• He doesn't flirt.
• If he asks for your help, it never turns out to be romantic.

Why does this happen?2

The main reason for the emergence of friend zones for men is the different goals for developing relationships between men and women. The main goal of all relationships is reproduction. Natural attraction to the opposite sex is inherent in us by nature. There's no getting around this.

The goal of a relationship for men is to leave as many offspring as possible. A man is not guided by any mental abilities, logic or experience of previous relationships. For him, the main thing is the maximum attractiveness of the object. Here, of course, everyone has their own criteria for attractiveness; a man’s possibilities in the assigned task are limitless.

The greater the trace of genetic code he leaves in women, the greater his chances of fulfilling his duty to nature. Of course, now this instinct is being pushed into the framework of modern society. But, nevertheless, the selection process remained at the disposal of genes and Mother Nature. If you like it, you will be mine.

The goal of a woman’s relationship is the highest quality of the offspring born. Since she is limited by the number of children she can bear, it is important for her to choose a male suitable for this purpose. The easiest way is to surround yourself with potential partners and choose the best one by elimination.

A woman’s task is to seduce everyone from whom she is going to choose. This is where the danger lies; those who do not pass the selection end up in the friend zone. Unlike men, women have to think and use as much ingenuity as possible to achieve what they want. Having a woman like you (as in the case of a man) outwardly is not considered a victory.

Take care of yourself

Effective advice for nice girls who are in the friend zone - immediately take care of yourself. Reconsider not only your behavior, but also your appearance. A well-groomed lady is confident in her feminine charms. And this is confirmed by the admiring glances of others. Carefully monitor your appearance. Make an effort to create an impeccable image, go in for sports, visit a beauty salon. Take action!

Analyze your wardrobe. Get rid of old-fashioned, stretched or faded clothing. Choose accessories that will help you look stunning.

It is useful to study the type that attracts your lover. Become like the girl of his dreams. However, you should not adapt to the tastes of a guy who has perverted preferences. Don't try on a look that you don't fit into. It’s better to leave your “miserable love” and find another person who will appreciate you.

Be erudite, communicate on different topics. Be sure to watch your speech, choose your words, restrain yourself emotionally. There is no need to list your advantages with a smart look. It is better to convey interesting information to the guy regarding his hobby. Therefore, it is worth finding out what he likes.

Important! Improve yourself. Turn into the standard of a woman: become beautiful, kind, caring, independent, smart, with a sense of humor.

How to get caught 3

Most often, people who end up in the friend zone are those who understand that they do not have reciprocal feelings for them, but they warm themselves with the hope that their chosen one has just a little time left to see how wonderful, kind and sympathetic he is. He tries with all his might to be good and runs at the first call to the object of his dreams. Such people are stupidly taken advantage of. It's comfortable. They will never be appreciated.

Women choose men according to three main criteria:

1. Reliability,
2. Force,
3. Courage.

If a man wants to show how kind, caring, attentive and charming he is, he finds himself in the exclusion zone. When choosing a mate, women associate these qualities with defenselessness and willingness to submit. And she must obey, she is a woman. This choice is made more at the subconscious level. Because women always include “kind” and “charming” in their list of ideal men.

What is the friend zone for girls, read in our article further on the link.

Choose a strategy

There are 2 ways to exit:

1. The first option is slow, routine work. But the work can give a lasting and positive result. If your lover reciprocates, then get ready for a romantic relationship.
2. The second option is recognition, which implies quick and radical action. The way ends either badly or well.

Ask yourself a clear question: does the guy know that I’m in love with him? Talk to him directly, but firmly: we are either dating or we are not. If a negative answer follows, there is nothing left to do but keep your word - you will need to leave your friend and leave.

Pull yourself out4

A man who is determined and wants to create strong mutual relationships out of the friend zone must first stop feeling sorry for himself. He needs to stop thinking that she will finally see who he really is. She has already seen and appreciated it. That's why he is where he is. How to get out of the friend zone - log out and log in again.

First of all, you need to understand what criteria the young man does not meet with his chosen one. There are few general criteria; they are divided into two types. The most important criteria for assessing a woman’s worthy chosen one are Social ones, that is, those that will be looked at not only by her, but also by all relatives and friends. Thus, this assessment will add points to her as well. So, social values:

• Financial condition. Yes, now, of course, you can start demagoguery about how mercantile all women are. But we are talking about serious adult relationships. And for serious adult relationships, the next step is family. And family is a wedding, it’s housing, it’s children. All this requires financial costs. Therefore, in the long term, the financial condition of the future man is important.
• Social status. This means even the most ordinary self-confidence. It is not necessary to be the owner of a large holding company or a factory for sewing silk panties. Social status can be expressed in the ability to make independent decisions and bear responsibility for these decisions.

• Impudence. Oddly enough, but yes - women love arrogant men, sometimes rude (but not in relation to the women themselves). Arrogance must be manifested by the ability to put one’s interests first.
• Take what he needs first. The concept of “like behind a stone wall” follows from arrogance; a woman is sure that a man is tearing to shreds everything in his path for his family.
• Intelligence. It’s clear - a man shouldn’t be stupid.
• Originality of thinking. The ability to find solutions to “hopeless” problems. In general, when a man solves problems in a woman’s life, she puts a tick on her list that he is suitable.
• It’s not for nothing that there are cases when women call in the middle of the night, frightened and in tears asking to come and fix an iron, kettle or socket that has begun to smell burnt. They already then decide to check him for the last point.

Personal qualities that a real man should have, according to statistics:

• Athletic body,
• Reliability,
• Integrity,
• Good manners,
• Coquetry.

All women are different and the mandatory presence of all these qualities cannot guarantee a choice in favor of a man. But, according to statistics, men who score 9-10 points are not considered as potential partners and husbands. Holders of 10 points are fairy-tale characters and not all women can meet the same criteria.

The golden mean of this list is 6-8 points. It is these men that women consider as ideal candidates in a relationship. If a man counts less than five points, then he should not have a question about how he ended up in the friend zone. It turns out he's not that good.

Treat the guy with understanding

Keep it simple, don't show off! Read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” to understand what a man needs. Stay close. By the way, as if by chance, offer your lover support. Take care of him at the right time, be ready to listen. Confidential conversations and secrets in moderation have their place.

Most magazines and psychological blogs advise ladies to be a cold piece of ice, thereby motivating the indifferent groom to perform a feat, to conquer impregnable bastions. But what men like in women is not severity, but tenderness. Sometimes they want to hear nice things about themselves.

Recommendations:

• Pamper your loved one with kind words. But only - sometimes;
• You shouldn’t insist every minute that he is the best, otherwise the man will devalue your personality against the background of his increased self-esteem. This threatens to plunge even further into the “friend zone”;
• After complimenting your lover, quickly change the subject.

Don't look at him with loving eyes. Be “polite”, not “in love”.

There is a way out5

There is always a way out of any situation. The most ideal thing is to pump yourself up. You should not wait for the girl to change, when she sees and realizes his super-ness. We need to show her that a man is capable of changing, that he has become different. This takes time and effort.

Ideal pumping plan:

1. Reduce communication or stop it altogether. Depending on the relationship, you should choose the one that is most suitable for the specific situation. If it is possible to completely stop seeing the object of desire, that’s good. If not, we reduce it to the minimum, without showing any initiative on our part.
2. They stopped seeing each other, but did not stop making themselves known. You should surprise your chosen one and show that you are not fixated on her and have not stopped. You need to make new acquaintances with girls and actively post photos on social networks from your vacation.
3. It will be great to acquire new interests and hobbies. It is desirable that it be an active holiday, extreme, with a lot of impressions. This will give both the young man the opportunity to unwind and the girl to see what she is losing.
4. Engage in self-development. Invest in yourself. Go in for sports, develop your hobby into a business.

Such changes in a man will 100% add a sexual brand to him. And the woman will pay attention to him herself. If this does not happen, the man must prove himself to be a real male. Make a date and show a new side of yourself. But you need to behave with a girl no longer as a friend, but as a chosen one. There is no need to remember your previous relationship during a date. She will definitely appreciate this upgrade.

It is important to understand that the man ended up in the friend zone not because he is so good, but she does not understand anything. It’s just the opposite - he doesn’t understand what she wants to see in a man. If the friendship has been for a long time, then it would be possible to study the tastes of your chosen one and acquire these qualities.

If the “friendship” did not last long, any changes for the better will make you pay attention and surprise you with positive dynamics. In any case, it is necessary to show the maximum number of “manly” qualities so that the girl appreciates not a friend, but a full-fledged partner.

Is it possible to leave the friendship zone, is there a chance?

It is possible to leave the long-established boundaries of the friend zone. But it is important to sensibly assess your strengths and realize that even a strong friendship does not guarantee that you will hear the long-awaited “yes” in response.

Important! The tips described above are just a chance to convey your aspirations to someone you know.

The rest depends solely on the compatibility of you as a couple:

• carefully consider whether it is worth losing a friend for the sake of love, and whether you correspond to the image of an ideal partner, because if you refuse to return to the level of your friend again, it is unlikely that it will work out and you will have to completely stop communicating;
• the ability to be a good conversationalist and have an excellent sense of humor will certainly allow you to create a reputation as a suitable candidate for the role of a soul mate - a pleasant pastime will almost always be associated with you;
• Indulging a friend and trying to change for his sake, there is no need to turn into a slave - always remember your own dignity and pride, first of all, taking into account your own interests;
• rationally evaluate your own strengths and weaknesses, adjust your image so as to truly get rid of bad habits, and as inspiration you can take the ideal of the object of your adoration;
• provide moral support more often - it is your presence and help in a bad period that serves as a good bonus and always reduces the distance between two people, which will be a great start for love feelings, if you do not manipulate the person.

The process of turning from a friend into a potential gentleman does not happen instantly and in an eternal expectation of reciprocal emotions. Once you find yourself in such a situation, you should take note of your own mistakes so as not to find yourself in the friend zone again in the future.

Adhering to certain tactics of behavior, showing your best character traits and not being afraid to demonstrate sincere feelings - these are the main tips for those who decide to overcome the erroneously drawn boundary of friendship.

Disappear for a while

Most likely, your lover is surrounded by your comfort zone: make him laugh, take care of him, make surprises, support him in troubles. Try to limit your participation in your lover's life. End your romantic relationship with him if you do not feel reciprocated from him. You may not pick up the phone from time to time, but then call yourself and say that you were busy. During this period, you may notice other men who are more worthy of your attention.

Visit a pleasant place with a potential partner where you will feel good. Make your partner feel like an outsider in the new team. Disappear for a certain period of time, and upon returning, provide him with support: praise him for something to elevate him in the eyes of others. This gesture will be highly appreciated by him.

General recommendations

It is important to understand that it is not always possible to leave the friend zone. The basis of love is unity of interests, worldview, plans for life and physical attraction. Chemical attraction occurs in the first minutes of acquaintance; within seconds we understand whether a close relationship with this person is possible or not. And only then does the conscious part turn on, which evaluates mental similarity. If sexual attraction arose on one side, then there are two options: redirect it and maintain friendship or leave the relationship.

Sometimes friends themselves do not realize that there is love between them. Then Arthur Aron's method will help. Invite a friend to play a fun game, and then everything will easily and naturally fall into place. Perhaps this is the method that will help you get out of the friend zone.

If there was an incident of rapprochement (a kiss other than a friendly one, an intimate relationship), after which you were again sent to the friend zone, then it is better to end the relationship. Something between friendship and love causes even more pain than the dry friend zone.

Inaccessibility generates more interest. If a man or girl offers friendship with expanded opportunities (intimacy, kissing), you should not agree. It is necessary to clearly indicate: if friendship, then without sexual overtones; if intimacy, then only in a love relationship.