Family relationships can be compared to building a house. Everything is important here, from the foundation to the roof. A man and a woman should exist in harmony, complement each other and achieve their goals together.
Mutual respect and understanding are very important, otherwise the house will simply fall apart and you will have to start all over again. That is why in a relationship where a man is afraid of a woman, there cannot be harmony and a happy marriage; this phobia will destroy the relationship day after day. And yet, what should men be afraid of in relationships with women?
Unfortunately, one of the common problems is female power, the inability to give in and encourage. In such a relationship, a man is afraid of a woman; he does not perceive her as an object of desire, as a gentle and loving being. Other associations arise, more like Baba Yaga or the evil stepmother from a fairy tale.
You shouldn’t give up on a relationship ahead of time; if you carefully sort everything out on your own (not alone, but with your significant other) or visit a good psychologist, you can quickly normalize the relationship and get rid of fear. Let this article be a small guide to this problem.
Unequal relations
Every relationship has a leader. With only rare exceptions, relationships have complete balance and equal division of responsibilities and rights. Basically, one person is slightly (or not) dominant over the other. And, by the way, according to statistics, most often it is the woman who dominates. This fact is not always obvious to a man, but is perfectly obvious to a woman.
Dominance comes in different forms - you can manage the family budget, keeping all the “treasures” under your pillow or in your account, you can secretly give commands and solve all incoming problems in your own way, or you can even see elements of tyranny. As for the latter, this is observed in families where a man dominates.
After all, men are naturally endowed with greater physical strength, and what else besides fear of violence will allow one to subjugate a person? There is an answer - fear of one’s own insignificance and failure, fear of being a “loser” in the eyes of a partner, fear of screwing up. Yes, men can also be afraid of relationships and may even be afraid of the women with whom these relationships are built. But, fortunately, not all men are cowards and not all women are monsters.
What I can? (a question not only for men, but also for women)
In order for a man not to be afraid of the woman he is in love with, it is not enough for a woman to be sincere, pure, grateful, and bashful. It is not enough to understand a man and the reasons for his fears. A woman also needs to understand her own desires. Real, heartfelt, and not imposed by the environment. And learn how to fill them yourself. Why do this?
First, these simple steps will restore your peace of mind. We are happy when we realize our desires.
Secondly , they will add attractiveness, since our states “smell” those around us and always influence their attitude towards us.
Thirdly, understanding what we really want opens up a new path to realizing ourselves as a couple. A couple relationship is something that is bigger than me. These are sensations of a different order.
And finally, fourthly , this will free a man from the frightening responsibility of filling our “I want” alone, a black hole the size of God.
What kind of women are men afraid of?2
Oddly enough, they are afraid not because of their ugly appearance or heavy weight, not because of their crooked nose or peculiar hobbies. The fear of many men is directed specifically at beautiful, slender and successful ladies. According to statistics, people meet girls with “skinny” bodies more often than long-legged beauties, and girls with average and low salaries find boyfriends much easier. Is this a coincidence? Or are men afraid of smart and beautiful women? Let's answer the question here.
Male psychology is largely geared towards success, supporting one’s own family and achieving goals. Even if a man voluntarily sits on the couch and does nothing, at the subconscious level he craves success. At a minimum, you always want to be a head taller than a woman.
And if this woman begins to intensively take care of herself, gets a better-paid job and changes her wardrobe, then such a man will simply be afraid of responsibility and will go looking for someone more suitable and modest.
Men are really afraid to meet beautiful girls, because it seems to them that she has a boyfriend, and “she’s unlikely to agree.”
Girls who are able to provide for themselves seem to be convenient for relationships. They do not need to give cars, dresses, and other gifts. But this is just an illusion. If you can’t impress a girl with money and going to a restaurant, then what should you do?
You will have to work hard to prove your importance and necessity - for many, fixing a table is much more difficult than buying a cake for tea. Do men need these difficulties and problems, because it is much easier to find a more modest girl and please her simply with your presence on the sofa?
By the way, this psychology does not work for women; many only want a successful and rich man, and few people think about their own position in society.
Men's fears are largely removable. But they take root in childhood, there can be different stories - for example, a strict mother who forbade everything and kept the whole family in fear, or, conversely, a lack of female attention, love and warmth.
Almost all human fears are rooted in childhood or adolescence, so if you want to understand yourself and eradicate fears, then you should turn to the past. The easiest way to do this is by contacting a psychologist or psychotherapist; these people are trained in special techniques and will significantly speed up the process.
Men who are afraid of women - who are they?3
- Insecure men
Most often, men who have sufficient self-esteem or even inflated ones do not suffer from such problems; they assess their capabilities sensibly, or, in the second case, overestimated. Men who are satisfied with the state of current affairs, who do not have aspirations for a better life and similar goals, really see success in their own woman’s career and openly rejoice at it. And all because they obviously know that they are better than their partner.
This behavior can definitely be attributed to a mental disorder. Understanding their own lives is extremely necessary for such men, because a happy and satisfied person will rejoice at the success of a loved one, and not look for a way to retreat.
- Men avoiding women
The second category of men does not understand women’s logic at all, how and from which side to approach a girl, what to talk about, and generally does not see common points of contact. There is a misconception that all women are the same, they love cosmetics, shopping, talk about typical feminine topics and are looking for rich husbands.
At a minimum, it is worth thinking about the variety of professions when girls work as engineers, builders, painters and artists. You can’t lump everyone into one pile; everyone has their own interests, which is why different approaches are needed.
Girls are, first and foremost, people with whom you can talk, laugh and have a good time. Men who are generally afraid of the opposite sex simply do not understand this and think too narrowly. A girl may be no different in her interests from her neighbor or best friend.
This category often includes young guys who want to build a relationship, but do not know which way to approach, what to talk about and how to behave. This is only a temporary problem that many people go through who do not have super charismatic qualities and ease in communicating with people.
- Men in same-sex relationships
This category is numerically an order of magnitude smaller, but should not be ignored. Often, men who support homosexual relationships perceive women as a hindrance and competition. Although homosexuality is mostly a genetic disorder, there is always a fear that a partner will find something more interesting in a woman.
- A man in love
Falling in love is a feeling associated with strong emotions and experiences. A man can desire a girl and be afraid at the same time. This happens due to the following fears and prejudices.
Firstly, a man is afraid of losing his independence. It's scary to get out of control of your own feelings, do crazy things for the sake of love and push other problems into the background. The feeling of control over one’s own life can dull and a person becomes afraid that so many of his emotions and hopes are concentrated in one single person.
Secondly, it becomes scary for the surging responsibility. You have to think about the future, make plans, relationships, talk about marriage and take on a bunch of obligations. In this regard, a woman greatly changes a man’s bachelor life.
Thirdly, it’s scary to open up to a woman, to remove all masks. And then what remains? Defenselessness and vulnerability are what all men fear. Being courageous, brutal and unshakable, it is difficult for them to appear in front of a girl, like an open book.
The main reasons for fear of relationships
The main reasons for a man in love to avoid relationships lie in negative attitudes and stereotypical beliefs.
READ
Once I fell in love with a woman: causes and consequences of unconventional feelings
Fear of responsibility
At first glance, the man seems calm and confident. He actively communicates with girls, but when a conversation begins about a serious relationship, he tries to avoid continuing it.
Such a guy is convinced that he can do without the presence of the mistress in the house, and, in his opinion, it is better to find communication and sex on the side. He is sure that family relationships will become a terrible torture for him, so he perceives and associates love with a series of problems.
Low self-esteem
A man may be mistaken in thinking that he is not worthy of a girl because of his low income, inexpressive appearance, or outstanding abilities. Even if this contradicts the actual facts, many guys are critical of themselves, underestimating their capabilities.
Low self-esteem affects the level of priorities, leads to instability in relationships, and indifference to the partner.
Where does a man's fear of a woman come from?4
The most common question asked by any psychologist’s visitors is “Where do I get this fear?” And if specialists could find out this after five minutes of a session, then treating patients would become much easier. All fears are buried deep inside a person and do not want to show their roots. Most often, these are childhood traumas, shortcomings in upbringing or other negative factors that influenced the formation of consciousness.
- Tyrant Mother
A few words have already been said about this above, but it’s better to explain. Women who behaved inappropriately with their sons, showing their superiority, negatively influenced the child’s psyche. Already from childhood, a connection arose between women and violence, and even then the prerequisites for future fear appeared.
- Absence of father
The other side of upbringing lies in the absence of a man’s word. Even if the mother in such a man’s life was the most caring and loving, she may not have been able to instill in her son that masculine part of his character that is responsible for communicating with women. The good thing about a full-fledged family is that the father shows by example how to behave with women, and the mother with men. If one of the components disappears, then parenting will be difficult.
- Old grievances
Sometimes problems do not come in childhood, but as adulthood progresses. A girl who seriously hurt, broke her heart, or left without saying goodbye could easily leave a mark on her heart and become the cause of a developing phobia. A man may be afraid to step on the same rake, to be deceived and to feel those unpleasant feelings again.
- Lack of communication with girls
If a man has been surrounded by only guys since childhood and has virtually no contact with the opposite sex, some difficulties in further communication or barriers may arise that will prevent establishing contact. An example could be classes where only boys study, or military institutions, where from an early age they are isolated from external manifestations, including communication with girls.
Advice from psychologists
Advice from psychologists will help you choose the right manner of behavior for communication:
- Smile more often, be easy to communicate.
- Allow the man to express himself.
- Don't play a double game, stay yourself.
- Show gentleness, tolerance and care.
- Do not flaunt your success or superiority in anything.
- Show initiative, but do not impose.
- Give up claims and whims.
However, you don’t need to overstep yourself, trying to adapt to or change someone who is not ready to accept you for who you are. If a guy is trying to avoid serious relationships, he may be the wrong person.
A man will appreciate a caring and attentive woman who will support him morally and become a support for him. The most important thing for him is a girl who can believe in him.
