What to do if a girl refuses a guy in a relationship

Refusal - what not to do?
Loss or future gain?
Refusal is a reason to increase self-esteem
Bottom line

In love relationships, not everything is so simple. I would like it to be like in a fairy tale: I approached the beauty, proposed an acquaintance, and she agreed. However, in life everything is much sadder and more complicated. Often girls refuse to meet you, which can break a guy, especially if he is not confident in himself and has low self-esteem.

Things won't always go smoothly in life. Unfortunately, you need to get used to situations where failures will occur. You especially need to get used to the fact that most of the girls you want to meet will definitely refuse you. The main thing here is not to give up, as often happens. After all, you need one girl, not all.

Most people view failures as their own failures. But if an athlete, while running a distance, twists his leg and fails to reach the finish line first, is this his failure or his experience? If you view the negative consequences of your actions as a loss, then you become a loser. Successful people view their unsuccessful past as an experience from which they can learn and become better.

All people fail. There are no ideal situations when a person always wins. It depends only on the individual himself what consequences will follow an unpleasant event. A loser thinks like this: “I’m just a loser! It was necessary to do this and not otherwise. And I... I’ll never succeed.” After such thoughts, any person would give up and become unwilling to do anything at all. If you consider yourself a loser who attracted an unpleasant situation into your life, then fate will prove your theory to you more than once.

How does a successful person think? “It didn’t turn out what I wanted. What did I do that did not serve my goal? I'll do it differently. What is wrong with these actions? I'll change it. Next time I’ll do something like this!” Do you feel the difference? A successful person also loses in some situations, but he perceives his failure as an experience that shows him what not to do next time. He does not consider himself a loser, but takes responsibility for the fact that it was his actions that contributed to his loss, while analyzing and drawing conclusions.

There's no point in blaming yourself for things that didn't turn out the way you wanted. You can turn your past into a treasure trove of valuable experience that will help you achieve your goals in the future. Change your attitude towards what happened in the past. Your failures are indicators that you are doing something wrong or that you are better off not having it at all, since happiness will not increase. Appreciate your failures as well as your successes! If successes are indicators of your right decisions and correct actions, then failures are signs of your mistakes that should only be corrected in order to achieve what you want.

Possible reasons

The girl may already have a boyfriend.
She keeps you close, but refuses the relationship, because you are a backup option for her. If the girl she liked refused the relationship, she had her own reasons for this. We will look at the most common options.

Your chosen one already has a person with whom she is in love. She can either be in a relationship with him or silently suffer from her love (possibly unrequited), but at the moment there is no place for you in her heart. In such a situation, if your feelings for the girl are strong, then you should wait, suddenly something will change in her life.
A recent breakup may cause a young person to be reluctant to enter into a new relationship. There may be unresolved feelings, pain from parting, and reluctance to step on the same rake. In this case, it is better not to put pressure on the girl, wait until she moves away from what happened in her life.
A young lady can refuse a guy in a situation where he was very intrusive, constantly called, overly patronized, in a word, “boring.”
Having other priorities in a girl’s life. A situation when a young lady devotes all her time, for example, to studying, preparing for exams, or problems in the family affect the impossibility of creating close relationships at this particular moment. In such a situation, it is necessary to treat the choice of your beloved with understanding. At the same time, nothing prevents you from trying to gain her favor.
You are only a friend to her. A situation where you find yourself in the friend zone. All the time we were communicating, the young lady saw in you only a friend, a comrade, a person with whom she could share her problems, seek help, but not someone with whom she could start a love relationship.
A situation where representatives of a future couple belong to different social classes can cause refusal and reluctance to enter into a relationship.
The girl has too high demands on her future partner. There are women who are waiting for a “prince on a white horse”, looking for someone who in reality does not exist.
She keeps you as a backup option. Perhaps she has a permanent boyfriend, in whose presence the young lady does not hesitate to flirt with you and shows interest. She needs you as a “back-up airfield” in case of a possible breakup with her current boyfriend.
She refuses because you are not her type. Perhaps she is not satisfied with your appearance or behavior, outlook on life, character.
The young lady has psychotrauma. This may include both a traumatic relationship with a man, and growing up in a family where parents constantly argued and the father offended the mother. A girl may, on a subconscious level, be afraid to enter into a relationship with someone, not wanting to experience all the possible negativity of living together.

Loss or future gain?

How do people react to failures in their lives? It's a pity that at some point you failed and lost what was valuable to you. Many people begin to grieve for what they have lost: “I am always unlucky. And this time I lost.” But let's think about it: did you lose or were you on the path to winning?

At the moment of failure, collapse, or loss of something valuable, a person does not get what he wants. Depending on the person’s attitude to what is happening, he wins or loses. How do you make a loss out of failure? You give up, engage in self-flagellation, try to find someone to blame for your troubles, cry, decide to no longer do what you failed at. Remember the cases when people break off a love relationship due to hostility and misunderstanding, after which each side draws conclusions: “I will never again date someone who can contradict me,” “It’s better to be lonely than to end up in…”, etc. d.

In other words, you are often willing to give up on something you failed at and never go back to it.

How do people turn failure into future gain? Now you have lost, failed, lost something valuable. But you still have experience - how not to make sure that what was valuable does not leave you again? There are people who search for those to blame, saying that it is not they, but those around them who are guilty of something. But successful people try to find their mistakes in what happened. Knowing what you did wrong will help you avoid doing the same thing again when you return to the activity at which you have failed.

You lost, but you also won, because now you have experience - what not to do in the future, how to behave so as not to suffer the same collapse again?

Who do you think will be a good family man: the one who has never been married before, or the one who has already been in it once? We can say that an experienced family man understands more about married life than someone who has never been a husband to someone. A former married person has experience in leading a family life, the person knows his shortcomings, understands what he wants to have in the future, and now, if he enters into a marriage union again, it will not be because of his youth and not because he has never been a spouse, but because of a real desire to do it. A man who was once married and a woman who was previously married are much more valuable than those who have not yet lived under the same roof with anyone. These people have experience, understanding and a willingness to get along with partners. This cannot be said about those who only have their head in the clouds regarding family life.

The value comes from those who already have experience of failure in the area in which you have teamed up. Of particular value are people who have not only experienced success or failure, but also come to conclusions about what they did wrong. If a person feels like a loser and blames other people for failures, then he has not learned any lessons or drawn any conclusions. It is better to refuse such a partnership. But a person who not only has experience in the area in which you agree is valuable, but also has analyzed the mistakes that he has made.

How to get a girl's affection

Change, work on yourself to gain the favor of your chosen one

Demonstrate your masculinity, strength, maturity, independence. Perhaps, looking at you from a new perspective, the girl will change her decision.

First of all, it is necessary to find out exactly why the girl refused. If you are able to somehow influence the young lady’s decision, make a clear plan, following which you will be able to get your chosen one.
Make new attempts to spend time together with your girl, for example, by inviting her to a cafe or on a picnic.
Try to make friends with her surroundings. If you manage to make a good impression on the friends of the young lady you like, perhaps they will be able to put in a good word for you.
Let the incident unfold gradually. After all, it is possible that over time the girl will awaken an interest in you, and even if you are currently in the friend zone, after some time you will be able to turn from a comrade into a beloved guy.
Engage in self-development, lead an active lifestyle. Perhaps these changes in your personality and appearance will interest the object of your adoration.
Sometimes, in order for the young lady to understand that she has made a mistake, you need to move away for a while, so that the girl feels how much she misses your presence, courtship, and expression of interest.

If you understand that you have a chance of success, then you need to be patient and gradually act towards your intended goal. If you understand that the girl is not interested in you at all, then it is better to retreat.

After breaking up with an ex

Almost every girl doesn't want a relationship immediately after a breakup. Delicate people need time to heal their emotional wounds. Some people need a few days to start looking for their soulmate again, while others need several months to recuperate. Fear of new relationships can easily be explained by the following:

The girl was betrayed by her boyfriend and she doesn’t want the situation to repeat itself.
A young, inexperienced beauty made a big mistake in choosing a partner and now doesn’t trust men.
The abandoned and offended girl still loves her ex and hopes for his return.

If several days have passed since the breakup, it is stupid to demand reciprocal feelings, a desire to go on a date with a new fan. She needs a break, a break from emotional upheavals. Don't be too active, just be there and surround the unfortunate girl with attention:

Ask more often how she’s doing, her mood, and get ready to hear long answers about sleepless nights, about how her ex is a scumbag. For an intimate conversation, you can use a phone call, correspondence on social networks, or a date.
Give the girl nice gifts, make surprises. Attention should not be intrusive.
Every day, try to cheer her up: tell jokes, joke, invite her for evening walks with the dog, or on a shopping trip.
Show your stability, perseverance, ability to wait.
Protect her about her ex, and never try to reconcile them.
Distract from sad thoughts by talking about studies, hobbies, and planning trips.
When the girl cools down and calms down, tell her that you want to win her heart and help her stop loving her ex.

When a girl says she doesn't want a relationship, don't take her words seriously. Try to understand the reason for a woman’s behavior, make a plan to win her heart and everything will work out.

How to deal with rejection

Treat rejection as a new experience. Move on with your life

It is important to realize that the existing relationship was not really something serious for you. You will still meet your fate.
Treat what happened as a life experience.
Start devoting time to physical exercise. You can run, go to the gym, go swimming. Sport allows you to get rid of negativity and feel the hormones of happiness.
Don’t try to give up on yourself or criticize yourself for the refusal you received. It's time to love yourself, start respecting your personality.
You should not pursue your chosen one, belittling your dignity, begging for reciprocity.
Having received a refusal, there is no need to withdraw into yourself, to remain alone with yourself. It is better at such a time to communicate more with people, meet friends and make new acquaintances.
In a situation where a woman refuses, you can try to become her friend, not claiming anything more. In this case, you have two options for the development of events: either you will forever end up in the friend zone, or over time the girl will change her attitude towards you and realize that she wants more than just friendship.
Sometimes you have to accept that you are not dreaming about the person you really want. Perhaps you idealize your chosen one or these are fleeting feelings that will soon fade away. Try to let go of the situation. Realize that there are many other women out there who might be worth your attention.

What to do if a girl refuses

There is a burning question floating around the Internet from men of all ages: “What to do if you are refused a relationship?” And personally, guys I know have approached me several times with the same questions. One of them even tried to make friends so that I could influence my friend and help him. Alas, she turned out to be adamant, and we still communicate with the young man to this day. Trying to overcome the “friend zone,” he made typical mistakes, which we will talk about a little later.

So, you are rejected and your love is not accepted, which means you have two options - give up or fight on. Now, most likely, you are only thinking about how to get the girl you want.

Stop! It is unwise to go for the battering ram, especially if she does not want to get to know and communicate with you. Don't push, then you will have a chance in the foreseeable future.

When a girl refuses, you cannot remind her of your feelings, and also send dozens of messages every day. It’s better to stop paying attention to the young lady altogether and asking when she will be ready. This is a sure step to nowhere.

If your beloved refuses to meet, you can take a wait-and-see approach and try to turn the tide of events in your favor, and then easily make the girl fall in love with you.

Here are some tips to get you started:

Make friendly contacts.
Friends have a great influence on our lives, as well as our opinions on a variety of issues. Therefore, first of all, you should make friends with the girl’s environment. If she has brothers or male friends, this is a great opportunity, start bonding through them. Having heard several times from friends that you are an interesting conversationalist and a worthy man, the girl will think about it. Jealousy will also work perfectly. If one of your friends is seriously interested in you, the girl will feel dissatisfied. She will try to win your affection and may want to start a relationship.
Be patient.
It's hard to wait, especially when the prospects are unclear. Let the situation develop gradually, do not go ahead. If your beloved says that she is not ready for a serious and permanent relationship, offer her free meetings for a pleasant pastime. Let her think that she doesn’t owe anything, just like you don’t owe her anything. Be active unobtrusively, wait for a response. Over time, your meetings will become constant or stop altogether. In any case, this is a chance to get to know each other before trying to build a serious relationship.
Set deadlines.
No matter how persistent you are, all these techniques and strategies do not always work. Therefore, decide right away how long you are willing to wait? A month, six months, maybe a year? The game of "Cat and Mouse" can last forever, and you will suffer the most. All the conditions have been met, the company has become common, and now your best friend is not giving you a pass? If you did everything right, didn’t impose or pursue, but were in the girl’s field of vision, then it’s time to reap the benefits. Either you were able to interest her and win her over, or it wasn’t fate. Then all that remains is to let go of your beloved and go in search of the right person who will appreciate you.

Prohibited actions

It is important to understand that in certain situations, if you refuse, it makes sense to continue your attempts to get your chosen one. But sometimes it’s better to step back and stop interfering in her life. Next we will talk about what actions are unacceptable in such a situation.

Don't be too intrusive. You should not bother the girl, constantly call, follow her, look for random meetings, finding yourself in places where she often visits.
Don’t even think about showing your jealous attitude, showing aggression, or throwing tantrums towards the girl. If she didn’t already want to move on to a closer relationship, then after such behavior you will have no chance of getting her attention.
There is no need to try to arouse jealousy in the person you like, or to demonstratively flirt with another girl in front of her eyes, especially with her friend. This will not lead to anything good.
Never belittle your dignity, do not beg for love, do not threaten suicide if the girl refuses to be yours.
You should not put pressure on the girl by talking about your feelings, trying to evoke a feeling of pity.
The chosen one should not set conditions, demand that she decide to enter into a relationship, or blackmail her.

When thinking about what to do if a girl refuses, it is important to understand the reason that led to such a decision by her lover. If you have the power to change something, take action to achieve the desired relationship. If you can’t do this, for example, in a situation where a girl refuses because she’s in love with another guy, it’s better to retreat.

Life goes on5

If a girl decides you're not right for her, you can look at it as an experience rather than a reason to sit in your room writing existential poetry and wondering, "What's wrong with me?"

So stop lying around and put away the Nicholas Sparks movies you were planning to watch.

Yes, you were rejected, and that's not a bad thing! Look around you: there's a whole world out there for you to conquer, so go and transform yourself like Tony Stark building a stronger Iron Man after his old one was torn to pieces.

Do what interests you. If that's not enough to distract you, try setting a personal goal. The busier you are, the easier it will be for you to cope with rejection.

Rejection is a chance to rebuild and make yourself even more whole and complete for the next girl who comes your way.