A man's infidelity is perceived in our society as a normal phenomenon; infidelity is explained by polygamy of the stronger sex. The spouses fight, but then make up and live their old lives. But a woman’s betrayal shocks her partner. Guys don’t know how to behave in such a situation, whether they should break up or forgive their loved one. What to do if the girl cheated?
First of all, understand the reasons for your beloved’s action. Infidelity can be triggered by various conditions. Depending on the situation, infidelity can be divided into casual and regular.
Accidental betrayal
Having sex with someone else's man, even without malicious intent, by accident, cannot be justified. But such situations occur quite often and the following reasons may be to blame:
- Alcohol intoxication. A stormy party and a cheerful company made the girl’s head spin, and she woke up in someone else’s bed. Yes, this can happen. But the guy should think about whether he needs such a girlfriend. A faithful woman will not go to a party without a partner, will not drink alcohol in the company of unfamiliar men, and especially will not agree to go home with one of them.
- A chance meeting with an ex-boyfriend. Passion flares up unexpectedly against the backdrop of memories of past relationships. The girl succumbs to a fleeting attraction, and then greatly regrets what she did.
- Resentment towards a loved one and betrayal out of spite. A woman may be offended by betrayal, insult, break up with a guy, but in the morning realize that she still loves him and will not let him go anywhere, but she has already had sex with someone else.
Read also: How to find out that a girl is cheating: 100% signs
If you listened to the girl’s explanations, she really cheated by accident, what should you do? Build the following pattern of behavior for yourself:
- Be aware of the information. It will take a short break in the relationship: a couple of days or weeks.
- Make a decision for yourself about forgiveness or separation. This is a test: what is stronger is love or self-esteem, the ability to understand another person or egocentrism, maximalism in actions.
- If you decide to forgive, then do it once and for all. Never remember the betrayal.
- Talk to the girl about her behavior. Set strict limits in communication with other guys, your ex, forbid going to parties alone, or correspond with strangers on social networks.
- When you break up, leave completely. Do not torment the girl and say directly that you do not accept betrayal in a relationship, you cannot forgive the betrayal of a loved one.
Important! What to do and what to do if a girl cheats is up to you. When making a decision, do not rely on the opinions of friends, parents, or advice from forums. Don’t be afraid that you will be judged or misunderstood.
No disputes or quarrels
Previously, your spouse could start a quarrel over a simple like on social networks. Your socks, found under the sofa, could cause a storm of indignation in her. Now she is unusually quiet, does not get irritated over little things, and does not scold you for small and large mistakes. This may also be a sign that she has another man. Your person and everything connected with her are now uninteresting to her.
We told you how to understand that a lady has another man. Now let's find out why a girl cheats on her guy. Let's look at the most common cases.
Regular infidelity
Cheating on a regular basis cannot be forgiven, but it can be explained by the character, upbringing of the girl, and her moral principles. The habit of being faithful in the family and relationships with a loved one is laid down in childhood, when a girl watches her mother and father. If the father cheated on his wife, or vice versa, the daughter often saw scandals, then most likely she will repeat the example of her parents.
In addition to her upbringing and negative past, the following situations can push a girl to regular infidelity:
- A woman fell in love with someone else, but is afraid to leave the guy. She may be unsure of her relationship with her lover, leaving her current partner in reserve until she makes a final decision.
- The guy doesn't pay attention to the girl and cheats. Then infidelity occurs out of desperation or out of spite.
- The husband does not satisfy his wife in bed. Dissatisfaction with intimate life with her husband pushes a woman to look for a sexual partner on the side. In such a situation, most women prefer to keep their family together.
- The woman has low self-esteem. The husband does not give compliments or gifts, the relationship has cooled down, but the wife wants to feel desired, beautiful, young. The lover gives her these emotions.
Regular betrayal is very different from a single, accidental betrayal. It is thought out, purposeful, and the woman definitely wants to hide it from her permanent man.
It is almost difficult to forgive such behavior, and it does not matter what the cause of infidelity was: a man’s inattention or a girl’s stupidity. It is extremely rare for a couple to return to normal family life after exposing a large-scale deception.
Material security
Why does a girl cheat on a man? The reason may lie in her craving for money and all the delights that come with it. In this case, she leads a double life: she meets with a man who may be old, unattractive in appearance and sexuality, and married. All this in order to receive money and beautiful expensive gifts. Then she comes back to you, perhaps even bringing into the house groceries that you cannot buy. Sooner or later she will have to make a choice between finances and relationships. Another option: find a partner who combines youth with good earnings.
Is it worth forgiving betrayal?
According to some experts on family relations, you should not forgive betrayal under any circumstances. But there is another point of view: for the sake of love, it is worth making large gestures, but only once, but if your beloved betrays you again, separation is inevitable.
Both sides of the debate provide arguments in support of their opinion:
| Forgive | Don't forgive |
| Infidelity can be a fatal mistake for an inexperienced girl. She will perceive forgiveness as a gift and will love her chosen one even more. | If a girl cheated on a man, she will definitely repeat it again. |
| If a guy is wondering whether or not to forgive a cheater, it means he loves the girl. Strong couples often go through serious trials, but remain together. | A guy who has forgiven betrayal is not respected by his friends and his relatives do not understand him. The “cuckold” himself begins to think badly of himself, as a rag and a henpecked man. It’s better to get rid of the pangs of conscience right away and start a new, honest relationship with another woman. |
| The cause of betrayal may be the behavior of a man, and not the depravity of a woman. Giving a reason for infidelity, a guy must be able to forgive such actions, and then correct his lifestyle, treat his beloved more attentively. | It is impossible to forget and truly forgive betrayal. Memories of the past will always interfere with normal relationships. |
When deciding to finally break up, the guy must prepare for tears and the cheater’s pleas for forgiveness. If you are not inclined to indulgence, do not give your ex hope and immediately tell her that it is impossible to restore trust.
When deciding to forgive, set the unfaithful girl strict conditions in her behavior for the future, which she must comply with:
- Do not attend “drunken parties” without you, do not drink alcohol, and maybe even give it up completely.
- Do not spend time in the company of other men, even your mutual friends.
- Delete all extraneous contacts from your phone and social networks.
- Avoid touching other men and friendly kisses when meeting.
- Always tell where he is, what he is doing, who he is standing next to.
- Warn in advance about plans for the evening or weekend so that you can monitor the honesty of her words.
- Never deceive, immediately admit to the slightest lie.
- Prove your love through actions: tenderness, care, affection.
- Prepare to break up if the betrayal happens again.
If your friend agrees to your terms, does not be capricious and sets her own rules, give the girl a probationary period. If you don't agree with them, break up.
Read: How to break up with a girl correctly
Important! To check the girl’s feelings and level of awareness of the mistake, use ignore. Don't call for several days, don't write. If your beloved does not show up in any way, does not bother you with letters, it means that the pause in the relationship completely suits her or she has not realized her mistake. Break up with such a partner without regret.
Don't pay attention to the opinions of others
What will people think when I find out that the guy has forgiven the girl? People's opinions vary and many are highly dependent on it. Someone will say that he is a saint for doing this, someone will condemn him and call him a rag. There is no way to avoid this. There is only one way out - not to pay attention.
Your life concerns only you! Everyone has a lot of problems, so let them better deal with them. To prevent others from having reasons for gossip, do not wash dirty linen in public. If you change, don't complain to everyone you meet. Let your problems remain yours, they are of no interest to anyone. People love to gossip about someone, but they are unlikely to offer help. Immediately stop any gossip or unpleasant expressions addressed to you.
Advice from psychologists
“A girl cheated on me, what should I do?” Guys and mature men often turn to psychologists for help with this question. Mental health experts offer the following advice:
- Calm down and come to your senses. If a girl was burned, she confessed to cheating, you need to go through this stress alone.
- Assess the prospects of the relationship. Ask yourself one question: what is better for me to live with a liar and suffer, break up and start a new clean relationship, forgive and change the behavior of my beloved? Choose the option that suits your character and life values.
- Talk to your girlfriend or spouse, discuss the decision you made. Listen to the woman’s arguments, try to understand the motive for the action: maybe you provoked the betrayal?
- Make your final decision. Understand whether there is love in the relationship, whether you can trust your partner in the future.
- Break up permanently or forgive the cheater. Promise yourself not to remember the past every time you quarrel, if you save your marriage or couple. Or leave the liar.
- Try to regain trust. If you have forgiven your spouse or friend, you need to revive the love. Let go of your fears and don't become paranoid. Start your relationship with a clean slate.
- Don't cheat in retaliation. Infidelity out of spite will not give you peace of mind, but will only make the situation worse. This is a sure path to separation.
Now you know what to do if a girl cheats. Make the decision to continue the relationship or break up with a cool head. Wait a long pause before having a serious conversation with the woman you love. This way you will definitely be confident that your action is correct.
Wardrobe update, mood change
Psychologists warn that men who suspect their loved one of infidelity should not rush to conclusions. Experts recommend observing her for some time. If the chosen one begins to cheat, this may be signaled by a change in her wardrobe, hairstyle or mood. But even in this case, do not rush to check your wife’s phone. If you have had a difficult time in your relationship, perhaps by changing her image, she is simply trying to revive your former passion.
You've lost your attractiveness
Remember what you were like at the beginning of the relationship. You wanted to be liked, took care of yourself, played sports. Now all this no longer interests you.
You come home from work, have dinner and sit down in your chair to watch TV. You no longer go to the gym, are not interested in new products in the world of fashion or in any other direction. Your significant other no longer sees you as the person she once fell in love with. This is also the reason for betrayal. If your wife meets a man who offers her an exciting pastime, there is a high probability that she will begin to pay more attention to him than an innocent friendship would suggest.
The best cure for female infidelity is prevention
To avoid cheating in the future, you need to constantly work on your relationship. Remember that their main enemy is routine . It is enough to follow simple recommendations to create variety.
Regular varied sex
In bed you can't think only about yourself. Find out what your partner likes. There is no need to be shy: a serious relationship requires mutual trust. To liberate her, start with your fantasies.
Try new positions, arrange a sex excursion around the summer city, go with her to a sex shop, try it out, arrange sex via SMS or Skype. There are many options, it all depends on your imagination. You yourself will discover a new quality of sexual life.
Signs of attention
- Compliments. To make a girl feel desired, do not forget to regularly remind her of this. Write her compliments via SMS, notes.
A list of the most original compliments to a girl’s beauty can be found at the link.
Surprises. Give her unusual dates and surprises. Go karting, arrange a quest for her, visit theaters and cinema.
How to give a girl an original surprise without money is written in this article.
Options for the most original places for a date are here.
Present. Give gifts and flowers not only on holidays.
Go on a trip to the sea together, fly to Murmansk in winter and look at the northern lights. Spending time together brings both partners closer.
Do not rush to become despondent if your girlfriend cheated on you. Look at it from the other side: You gained experience, albeit unpleasant, and realized your mistakes.
Try turning the page and start enjoying freedom or finding a new darling. And forget your defeats, there are still many victories ahead. Good luck to you!
