If a girl has left for someone else, not everyone knows how to regain her affection. The main thing is not to panic in this situation and not to do anything stupid. If it is really dear to you, then you should initially consider all possible return options. There is a lot of advice on this matter, but it may be suitable for one couple, but completely unacceptable for another. Therefore, when reading all the recommendations, be guided by your personal preferences and act as your heart tells you.
Why don't girls want serious relationships?
If it happened that your beloved left for someone else, then you involuntarily wonder why she didn’t want a relationship with you, because everything was so good. But you don’t need to ask yourself these questions, but look for the reason for leaving. Then everything will fall into place.
The reason may lie in the relationship of the beloved guy to his girlfriend, namely, in the lack of attention, care, and lack of manifestations of love. From time immemorial, a man has played the role of a leader; you should not wait for initiative from a woman, you should take the reins of power into your own hands: begin to care, protect, and be a reliable support for your beloved.
If the relationship is long-term, then the final ending should be a declaration of love and a desire to start a family with this girl. And if the relationship is stuck in one state, then this leads to its logical conclusion. But not in favor of the guy.
You should be the initiator of creating a family. So that it doesn’t turn out that your girlfriend herself asked for a marriage proposal.
But it also happens that nothing portends trouble, and suddenly, like a bolt from the blue, a statement that she has someone else: what to do in this case, how to return the old relationship and is it worth doing?
What not to do
- No need to beg to stay, promise mountains of gold and goulash from your own liver.
- Call, constantly send SMS and thereby stroke her pride and raise her self-esteem.
- Show that you are afraid to be left without her, that you will never have someone like her again, and that she is the best thing that has happened to you in your life. By doing so, you only confirm her decision. This is bad. She doesn't need to know about this, even if it is so for you.
- Post whiny statuses on social networks, pictures with pain and poems. This does not work. It's boring. Those around you don’t care about your experiences. Now she too. Pity is not the best lever for correcting attitudes.
- Ask about her new boyfriend. Find out why he is better than you. But do you really need to know this? To beat yourself up even more.
- He says that he is leaving to live with someone else, so that you can move and start conquering her again? Be sure to start... bed warfare with another lady for your own pleasure.
If the girl left for someone else
If in your mind everything was fine, her departure came as a surprise to you, then most likely she lost interest in you as a man or a potential husband. This may include the following circumstances:
- lack of sexual desire;
- loss of interest as an interlocutor;
- lack of comfort from spending time together.
But it doesn’t happen that everything is forgotten instantly. Most likely, she still has warm memories from your relationship. Most often, girls remember with regret such moments spent with ex-boyfriends, and there are reasons for this:
- Love doesn't fade away overnight. If the relationship was long-term, then the girl will not forget about it for a long time.
- Intimacy. There will be constant comparison, and at first, in an intimate sense, you will be the winner.
- Nostalgia for the best times spent with you. Most likely, joint holidays, anniversaries, weekends were the best in her life. And the girl may miss them, so memories of better times with you may haunt her.
What has changed since those times, how did it happen that you are not together, when there was a turning point in your relationship, will she love the new guy the way she loved you? If you ask yourself these questions, then you should renew all the faded emotions and try to make your ex-girlfriend want to return everything.
Subtotal
The task is to make its decision as calmly as possible. During the dialogue, find out what specifically influenced such an act. All the crap that you are so good and you will remain friends. That it's not about you, but about her - to ignore. These words weigh nothing. Her opinion should no longer matter to you.
Even if she tells you, know that you will never know the whole truth. These are women.
Analytically figure out what attracted and kept you close to her during this time. "Nice tits!" - this is of course a reason, but purely aimed at a 16-18 year old guy. So give yourself more analysis and specifics.
Don't delay breaking up. If you live together, set specific deadlines for the coming dates. Living with traitors is not comme il faut. The fur is easier to pull out in one quick movement.
Direct your freed time and consciousness into another vector of your life. Become the best version of yourself! Why not an incentive to fuck the whole world with a charge of anger at your ex-girlfriend.
What not to do if the girl left
In order not to completely break the thin thread that still connects you, it is important not to do anything stupid. Do not under any circumstances do the following:
- do not overwhelm her with letters, calls and excessive attention;
- engage in convincing yourself that you are wrong;
- indulge all her whims, if only she would return;
- shower her with gifts and valuable jewelry;
- kneel, cry and beg for forgiveness.
Women don't like men who can be manipulated. They stop seeing them as the stronger sex, begin to dictate their own rules, and behave the way they want. As a result, when they meet a strong and dominant man, they leave their kind and easy-going boyfriend.
Return of the Woman's Prodigal Daughter
It happens. It turned out he was not the same. And you are so cool: how you understand me, like no one else! And blah blah blah. What do I mean, my friend went for a walk, and now she wants to come back.
My friend, I understand that in life, as in GTA V, things happen differently, but have self-esteem! You are not a store that changes to another one on promotion days.
Imagine the picture: one unit fought for another country, and again came back to you with the question: “Yes, something is not as cool there as you have here. Let us fight against them for you again."
Let me make a small footnote: the option that you have a common child is not considered here. There are only two of you. More precisely, three, with her lover.
The decision is yours, of course, but no matter how these inverted “rakes” don’t shoot every year on the days of the spring solstice. Do you know what I mean?
What will such actions lead to?
All this will only make the girl want to get rid of such a “wimp” as quickly as possible. Your actions will only strengthen her confidence that she did the right thing by leaving such a man. Moreover, in comparison with you, her new boyfriend will be a winner.
Therefore, do not be led by your emotions. They won't make your ex happy. It’s better that she never knows about your desire to return her and your suffering. You can devote this time to yourself and your hobbies, or better yet, to self-improvement.
Don't run to the phone to call your loved one. Gradually tune into a positive wave. To somehow unwind, arrange a meeting with friends, chat with another person - if it’s some new acquaintance, then that’s just wonderful. And only then, with a fresh mind, think about how to get the girl back if she left for someone else.
Your condition
Depressed mood, thoughts about her, the desire to see her nearby and to feel good as before. You only need her. There won't be any more like this. Do you want to hear her apology, see her tears and pleas for you, to allow her to return after such betrayal. And all this is seasoned with oppressive mental pain.
Friend, the experiences described above are a natural human reaction to such stress. But now I need a cool head from you.
How to get a girl back who left for someone else
Think about what mistakes you made in the past that led to the end of your relationship. If you are still guessing about the reason a girl left for another, then there are 2 sure ways to find out:
- Find out more about your ex's new boyfriend, maybe then you'll understand why this happened.
- Analyze your relationship with your lover.
Of course, not everyone can admit their own mistakes. But try to see your fault in the broken connection.
Does the girl really want to leave?
This is the first and most important question you should answer. Understanding a woman is very difficult, but here you will have one interesting method. Analyze the girl's behavior
. She can leave in two ways. If your chosen one starts getting ready loudly in front of you, throwing things into a suitcase, throwing dishes and attracting attention in other ways, this means that she wants you to return her right now, apologize, and everything will immediately become fine. If you notice this behavior, don’t hesitate, act! And don’t pay attention to the fact that she breaks out, fights and screams at you. Of course, within reasonable limits. Be gentle and persistent. She will let you know that she really wants to leave.
A completely different situation is when, say, you quarreled with your lover and went to work in the morning. And then in the evening you return home, and only emptiness greets you. This is a very alarming signal. In this case, the girl really wanted to leave and left without even leaving a note. The situation is almost hopeless. Almost! Which means you have a chance.
I'm sorry, I'll fix it!
If a girl leaves solely because of your fault, then you are faced with a very difficult task. You'll have to be patient and wait a little
. First, let's find out the specific reason. If you broke up because of lies in a relationship, then here you will have to completely eradicate lies in the future.
If the reason was betrayal, then everything is much more serious. It’s far from a fact that the girl will forgive you at all. In any case, it is worth sticking to some plan of action.
- Over time, the pain subsides and the grievances are forgotten. It’s worth waiting a little time if the girl doesn’t immediately contact you. I previously wrote about why she refuses to date. And while waiting you can’t do nothing. Start working on yourself! Improve your physical shape, become more attentive to the girl, read books, whatever! Then you will have something to present as evidence.
- Feelings and sincerity are important. When you somehow establish contact with the girl, start paying increased attention to her. Be interested in her affairs and concerns, ask about her plans, tell her about yourself. Share with her something truly intimate that no one knows about you. Bring down an avalanche of bright impressions and positive emotions on her!
- Even the most sincere promises cannot bring back the past. Therefore, you will have to manage to prove your words in practice. If you have done something, constantly prove to her that it will not happen again. Get ready for constant control on her part at first.
Unfortunately, a girl is not always ready to forgive you for something. If even after long and persistent attempts you do not feel that you are starting to return your beloved, give up. It seems that this battle is lost, and you will have to start all over again, taking into account past mistakes, with another chosen one, no matter how sad it may be. Hi, friend! Especially for you, I have prepared the course “Student. Natural seduction" for only 1490 rubles! Follow the link and order ->
Is it worth getting back together after a breakup - advice
To decide whether you need to get back together again, you can listen to the advice of psychologists:
- Think about the situation calmly . Drawing conclusions and making decisions about the future fate of the couple should be in a calm state, when emotions have already subsided.
- Realize whether the root of the contradictions that led to the break has been eliminated . If controversial issues remain, then soon a conflict situation will arise again, which will lead to the separation of partners.
- Consider whether the relationship is worth the effort . To clear away the rubble of problems, you need to spend effort, time, and energy. You should ask yourself whether it is worth doing this. Sometimes it is better to put all your energy into creating new relationships than saving old ones.
- Weigh the pros and cons". To finally make a choice about the advisability of restoring the relationship, you need to make two lists. In each of them, indicate positive and negative aspects and draw appropriate conclusions.
Psychologist's advice
If you want to return your old feelings and relationships, you need to calm the boiling cauldron of emotions and listen to the recommendations of psychologists. And these tips largely coincide with ordinary worldly wisdom, proven over the centuries.
So, experts on human souls advise guys to take the following steps:
- Analyze whether it is necessary to return your ex-lover. Perhaps you yourself, deep down in your soul, wanted to end this relationship, but now only male pride is crying out in you, not allowing you to come to terms with the fact that it was the girl who left first. If thinking about the situation has shown that love and warm feelings remain, you are ready to change for her sake and put aside reproaches and insults, it makes sense to take active action.
- Think carefully about the current situation, try to clarify and find out at what point the fatal mistake was made in your relationship with your ex-girlfriend. It is extremely important to forget about the quarrels between you and forgive your beloved if she was the culprit of the separation.
- Try to organize a meeting with the girl, explain to her again, avoiding scandals and accusations. Be sure to clarify that you have realized your mistake and are ready to resume the relationship. The likelihood of a positive development for you is quite high, especially if you show that you value her feelings and have become more responsible.
- If your ex-lover does not want to meet, try to keep your distance for a while and wait until she cools down and is ready for a serious conversation.
