For some reason, there is a stereotype in society that only men cheat. If we are based on the results of many reliable sociological surveys and studies on the topic of infidelity, we can find out an interesting fact - almost every second girl has cheated on her boyfriend at least once.
Among men, the figure is, of course, higher – seventy percent of respondents. Also, do not assume that every respondent was open and honest with the interviewer. Many people do not want to admit mistakes, even to themselves. What can we say about a stranger who might think badly if you admit your mistakes.
Let us add that each person defines betrayal in accordance with his personal views and worldview. For one, it will be enough to discover intimate correspondence in the phone of a loved one. Another will say that he broke off the relationship after his partner looked strangely at a mutual friend.
Still others are loyal to flirting and correspondence, but will never forgive the fact of physical sexual contact on the side. There are also those who do not care about the closeness of two bodies; they are more concerned about what a person thinks about cheating and other sexual objects.
The main reasons for female infidelity
The weaker sex is monogamous by nature, so if a girl cheats, in most cases there are certain reasons for this.
In other words, a certain (usually negative) situation must arise that would push a woman to take such a step.
Among the reasons are the following:
- Loneliness, emotional vacuum. If there is a lack of understanding, communication and normal contact between partners in the family, this can serve as an incentive to cheat. Of course, in such a situation, the girl will not immediately go “left”; as a rule, more than one year passes before she makes up her mind.
- Boredom. As a rule, after a man has already won a woman and the “candy-bouquet” period has passed, stagnation sets in in the relationship. In this case, the stronger sex ceases to surprise and delight its partner. In this case, the woman may go in search of new experiences.
- Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the most common reasons for cheating. The problem may lie in both the quantity and quality of intimacy. Frequent refusals from the husband, lack of pleasure - all this leads to the wife having a lover.
- Revenge - do not forget that an offended woman is incredibly insidious and easily succumbs to emotions. If a wife finds out about her husband’s infidelity, she may well want to repay him in kind.
- Emotional immaturity. This applies to girls under 25-26 years old. At such a young age, representatives of the fair sex often want adventure, bright impressions, and so on, which is why not the most pleasant situations arise.
We should not exclude situations in which a girl cheats on a guy simply because of her character. Polygamy in women is not so common, but it still happens.
Polygamy also occurs in women
What to do for forgiveness
Forgiving a loved one for betrayal is not easy, but if she confesses and sincerely regrets, this gives hope for continuation. You don't need to be a psychologist to be confident. The main thing is to feel regret and see it in her eyes. If during communication a girl looks away, then perhaps she is simply lying and making up excuses. Firm eye contact tells her that she cares about you. Pay attention to your emotional state. If she doesn't want to lose you, then she will cry and her pupils will be dilated. A trembling voice and wet palms are a good sign. The nervous state in such a situation continues for a long time, even when they said that they are ready to forgive. There is no test for treason, but careful analysis will help to understand further intentions.
The most humane solution is to live separately. Being alone with your thoughts will help you think and understand what happened. This time will allow you to heal mental wounds and come to terms with the fact. And most importantly, it will tell you how to behave and live on. Perhaps you will get bored, there will be an incentive to return and renew the relationship. Do not delay, as a long period of separation can play a bad joke. A few weeks of separation is enough. If during this time you haven’t felt the desire to hug or kiss her, then let it stay that way.
How to forgive if resentment and anger do not go away? The conflict will disappear when emotions subside and balance comes. This can be done by directing thoughts and actions in the right direction. A great solution is to join a gym. Regular exercise will help calm excessive emotions. It is better to choose boxing and, whenever possible, beat the bag until exhaustion. It does not hurt, and you will feel the effect of the training soon.
It is advised to change your attitude towards your partner. It often happens that the problem lies there. Excessive severity or, on the contrary, softness, could well have become the cause of the crisis. Try to feel the warmth of your partner. Remain calm and balanced in any situation, do not make hasty decisions.
If you want to find a reason that will help you forgive a girl for cheating, then think about your common future. If aspirations and dreams coincide, you are going in the same direction, then the problem is no longer so global. Talk about children, a cozy apartment, pleasant evenings in an embrace. If you see yourself together and imagine it clearly, then perhaps this is the answer.
It is important to know whether the relationship was platonic or whether there was emotional betrayal. You can come to terms with platonic betrayal, but emotional betrayal is more difficult. If a girl has feelings for someone else, then attempts to restore the relationship will fail. Emotional dependence is stronger than physical dependence.
If the desire to forgive your beloved persists, then try to find an excuse for the action. Perhaps this happened out of desperation. The main thing is for the girl to realize that she has made a huge mistake. If she repents and wants to correct the situation, then give her this opportunity. An honest confession is the first step towards forgiveness.
Is it necessary to forgive out of pity for oneself? Often guys forgive a girl out of fear of getting lost, believing that after parting, life will lose color and will never be the same. It is necessary to understand that this is self-hypnosis. These are temporary problems that you just need to get through. This has happened to many people and will continue to happen, so there is no reason to suffer.
Be sure that fate will not leave you alone. When you are ready, she will definitely set you up with the one and only.
The first signs of betrayal
The girls hide their betrayal with great difficulty. With a high degree of probability, sooner or later she herself will admit everything. However, if there are certain signs to look out for:
- Sudden secrecy. It’s worth thinking about if your spouse or girlfriend starts changing or setting passwords on your computer or phone on social networks. This behavior is especially suspicious if it has not happened before.
- Coldness in relationships, bed. After going “to the left,” a woman can change a lot, try to keep her partner at a distance, deny him intimacy.
- Excessive aggression, nagging. The wife may begin to blame and reproach her husband for any reason, even the most insignificant.
- The emergence of new friends or increased communication with existing acquaintances.
- Often disconnected or simply “unavailable” mobile phone.
- External changes. If a wife suddenly starts taking extra care of herself, loses weight, changes her hairstyle, starts wearing more beautiful clothes, this can also become a kind of “bell.”
Guys often think that “the girl cheated on me” if they notice one or more of the above signs in her behavior. However, you shouldn’t jump right in and you can never rule out the fact that your imagination is running wild.
Secrecy is one of the signs of betrayal
Psychological and physical violence
Sometimes the reasons for betrayal are tragic. We are talking about rape. This cannot be called cheating, because the sex was not voluntary. But some girls (and their boyfriends) don't think so. If this happened to your chosen one, try to overcome the feeling of wounded pride and provide her with support, go to a psychologist together, talk about going to the police, try not to remind her of what happened and not to reproach her.
Blackmail is also a type of violence, but from the psychological side. Perhaps your loved one has a secret with which she is being blackmailed and forced into sex. To avoid such situations, relationships must be built on absolute trust in each other.
What actions should you take after cheating?
Cheating on a girl or spouse is an unpleasant event in itself. First of all, a man should wait until the first emotions (anger, resentment, hatred) subside, only after that can he approach the issue of further resolving the situation.
READ
Ways to survive and forgive the betrayal of a loved one
First of all, you need to decide whether a person wants to continue a relationship with his cheating wife or girlfriend. If not, then there is only one option: you need to separate. Moreover, it is best to do this as calmly as possible, without complicating the situation with quarrels and proceedings.
Don't underestimate conversation. As a rule, in case of betrayal, both parties need to talk it out. This helps to understand the situation and find a joint solution.
The situation is completely different if the partners still decide to maintain the relationship. What to do in this case:
- Many psychologists recommend distancing yourself from your partner for a while to put your thoughts in order. It’s worth leaving for a few days, living separately and thinking carefully about why exactly such a situation occurred.
- You definitely need to talk to your other half. It is important to clearly understand exactly how and why this happened.
- Having figured it out, it’s worth thinking about changing the relationship itself with your partner. We must not forget that women extremely rarely look for a lover if everything is good in their family. If the wife does not feel the support of her husband, she lacks attention and care, then the husband is quite capable of correcting the situation and preventing a repeat incident.
- If the parties cannot solve the problem on their own, it is recommended to seek help from a professional psychologist.
Not every man knows what to do after cheating
I cheated on my boyfriend and he found out3
To be honest, the most likely scenario is separation. You can explain as much as you like the motives that guided you at that moment. Stories about accidents and inexplicable coincidences also rarely help. Repentance for what you have done and repeated a million times: “Forgive me” do not work.
What's the matter? The man seems to be polygamous by nature, but ten percent of them can forgive betrayal, no more. Let's figure out what's wrong with this. Many guys believe that they are not committing treason or betrayal, but are improving their experience. Kind of like attending advanced training courses. For them, isolated betrayals with different women are a kind of training for their main skill.
At the same time, the man has a wife or a permanent partner, in whom he experiences more than just a rough physical interest. For him, she is a kindred spirit, a close friend and a like-minded person. Most men find it difficult to reveal their insides to a woman. If you were chosen for a noble purpose - to be a life partner - it means they trust and value you.
As a result, we have a scheme: for a man, betrayal is another competition for first place. For a woman, cheating is an attempt to increase her self-esteem, to feel attention and care from her lover.
I cheated on my boyfriend, he found out and forgave me. This also happens, but in extremely rare cases. This behavior of a man speaks of one of the reasons: strong love, future revenge and similar behavior on his part, a feminine model of behavior in relationships.
With the first case everything is extremely clear. If a person adequately evaluates his couple, understands that feelings are so strong that breaking up means breaking himself, he will negotiate with pride. The second option, regarding retaliatory betrayals and revenge, is cruel. However, many men consider it their duty to inflict pain in return. If not by going to the left, then by humiliation, driving a woman to depression, and lowering her self-esteem.
The third case is diagnosis. There are men who choose the role of the lady in relationships. They are so comfortable, warm and comfortable. Moreover, modern women themselves bring their partners to such a result. They work three jobs, raise children, and shoulder the entire household burden. A man in this system is a queen. He is simply not given a chance to show his other side. Some people are happy to live like this.
The lady is driving herself into a corner by being too busy. Doesn’t feel his core from a man. The quality of sex is declining. This is where adultery on the part of the lady arises. Such a sissy man will forgive everything, just to stay in his comfort zone. Perhaps he himself takes walks in order to feel his masculinity and strength on the side.
What not to do after cheating
Unfortunately, no one will ever be able to give a clear answer to the question: how to survive a girl’s betrayal, since situations vary.
In this case, you should at least wait. It’s not for nothing that people say: “time heals.” This is exactly the case.
However, there are things you definitely shouldn't do:
- Change in response. This kind of behavior is more typical of women, but men sometimes give in to emotions and do stupid things. Having learned about infidelity, you should first of all calm down and think logically, and not look for a way to take revenge, especially if a person wants to save the relationship.
- Listen to advice from strangers. It is generally not recommended to “wash dirty linen in public” and tell relatives and friends about the situation. However, if this happens, there is no need to immediately act on someone else’s orders. As a rule, this does not lead to anything good.
- If suddenly your husband finds out about the betrayal from strangers, you should not rush to expose it. It is best to give your spouse a chance to repent and tell everything on your own.
- Engaging in assault is definitely not a solution and will not lead to anything good. No matter how much a man is overwhelmed by emotions, he should not raise his hand against a girl.
READ
How to forgive your husband for cheating and is it worth doing?
Assault is a mistake
Behavior change
Mood changes in women are quite common. They can mean a lot of things, not just betrayal. However, there is a surer way to understand that she has someone. Almost all women at first try to hide the presence of another man, but an observant person will definitely notice the so-called evidence. Of course, if the lady is not an unsurpassed actress of the highest category. What kind of “evidence” is this?
If a lover has an interest in another man, she will constantly or very often think about him. As a result, her thoughts will be somewhere far away from you. She will become thoughtful, begin to answer inappropriately, and stop showing tenderness to you.
How to protect yourself from a girl cheating on you
What can you do to protect your relationship from cheating? First of all, you should adhere to the following recommendations:
- No matter how long people have been together, you shouldn’t think that something like this will never happen. In any relationship, no matter how ideal, sooner or later a split may occur.
- You should keep an eye on your chosen one. This expression does not mean that it is necessary to regularly test the lady’s fidelity. Rather, it is recommended to pay attention to the girl or wife, reminding why the spouses once got married.
- Set boundaries of what is permitted. You shouldn’t forbid a girl to go to meetings with her friends, or a wife to sometimes take a break from everyday life, but all this should happen within certain limits. The same applies to men themselves.
- Sex is an important and integral part of any marriage. We should not forget about such an important rule. In addition, the process of physical intimacy should not become commonplace or routine. In intimate matters, you can and should experiment.
To be together you need to pay attention to your partner.
Loss of interest in home, family, spouse
How do you know if a girl is cheating? The answer lies in her indifference to everything that happens in the house. She stops keeping the apartment in order, perhaps she will devote a lot of time to the child, and will begin to look for reasons to refuse sex. Even your kisses and hugs will be avoided. This happens because she is completely focused on her new hobby.
Sometimes the second extreme is observed: a woman, trying to drown out the feeling of guilt for committing betrayal, tries to be unnaturally affectionate and friendly.
Recommendations from psychologists
Psychologists often hear questions: what to do if a girl finds out about cheating, what to do if her wife turns out to be unfaithful, and so on. Of course, it all depends on the situation.
If the move “to the left” did not happen for the first time, as a rule, there is no point in maintaining such a relationship.
In any case, you need to talk with your partner, look for both the problem itself and ways to resolve it. Of course, it is best not to bring your loved one to the point where he seeks outside support.
Family life is not an easy thing and not everything always goes smoothly and calmly. This is always worth remembering. It is very important to give your partner due attention and care, and not to forget about his needs. And if it happens that a girl or wife has stumbled, you need to try to find the strength in yourself and forgive her.
Constant help for a friend
Your wife, like all women, has a best friend. Previously, communication with her was limited to rare meetings, shopping and cafes. Suddenly, at some point, my friend began to need help literally every day. The wife returns home late, when asked what they did with her friend, she answers in monosyllables and without details. She cannot say which cafe they were in, which stores she chose the dress from, or why she didn’t buy anything. It is quite logical that such behavior leads to thoughts of betrayal.
Friend or foe?
A situation often arises when a girl cheated on a guy with his friend. There are several reasons why this could happen:
- There really were feelings between your girlfriend and your friend.
- She liked your friend before, she started dating you to get closer to him.
- Problems in your relationship.
- Revenge for the past.
Analyze your friend's behavior towards you and your chosen one before her betrayal. Perhaps some kind of spiritual connection has long arisen between them. Try to understand both. Think about whether you need such a friend, whether you can trust him.
