How to behave with your husband: practical advice and recommendations from psychologists

When starting a relationship, the couple is in a romantic mood. The lovers can't get enough of each other's company. Separation seems to them an unimaginable test. However, the further the relationship goes, the less room there is for romance.

People get used to each other and stop treating each other with trepidation. The long-awaited stamp in the passport brings complete confidence that the partner will not go anywhere.

For some people, this is a reason to relax and stop trying for the relationship. Many men stop admiring their women when they are not afraid of losing them. Relationships become something ordinary for them.

With marriage, a man calms down, while a woman tries to please her husband and become an ideal wife for him. In some cases, her efforts bring negative results. The wife's desire to please her husband tires him and allows him to relax even more. He no longer rushes home and spends time with friends, because he knows perfectly well that his wife will not even be angry with him. This state of affairs must be combated. How to do this?

Alcoholic

Alcoholism has long been no longer considered a bad habit. This is a disease and needs to be treated. Support and correct behavior of a woman contribute to a positive treatment outcome. So how to behave with an alcoholic husband in order to save him?

Understand that ethanol addiction occurs at a chemical level and hidden bottles and threats are useless. Treatment with replacement therapy is necessary.
Try to create an atmosphere of freedom for your husband, do not monitor him, do not direct him. Often men take to the bottle, suffering from the oppression of their wife.
Minimize any stress during treatment, do not scream, but also do not look with pity, behave naturally.
Help your husband in new hobbies, but don’t push him if he doesn’t want to, don’t insist. Switch his attention to something else: sports, fishing, car tuning.
Becoming a better person, a good and beautiful wife is always a fear of losing such a treasure and an additional incentive to overcome addiction.

But the main thing is to understand whether a person has at least the slightest desire to be cured. If he is not there, then almost everything will be useless and, perhaps, it is better to leave such a person.

Nothing to talk about

Family life after marriage does not please those people who do not have hobbies and spend all their free time alone with each other. Such gatherings become incredibly boring over time. People realize that they have nothing to talk about. Don't be afraid to spend more time outside the home and take a break from your significant other. Go to a meeting with your friends in the bathhouse and spend time discussing other people's problems. When you return home, you will have new topics to discuss with your loved one. You should also find a hobby that is exclusively yours. By devoting time to your favorite activity, you will not think about non-existent problems and stress yourself out. Find a common favorite activity with your husband. Work brings people together. For example, you can write a novel together, make something, or engage in teaching. Then you will at your leisure discuss not only everyday issues, but also issues related to common hobbies. Such discussions will diversify your conversations and help you find more common ground with the person.

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Tyrant

He constantly finds fault with his wife; it is important for him to keep her will under control. It would seem that the best advice is to avoid such men. But firstly, the majority of tyrants show themselves in all their glory after they tie a woman. And secondly, this could be the love of your life, but in everything else the man is ideal, and it’s never too late to leave. How best to behave with a tyrant husband?

Do not give reasons for jealousy; jealousy is a catalyst for aggression.
Do not enter into discussions, the last word will still be his, but along the way it will become white-hot.
Try not to depend on him financially, but don’t flaunt it. And if the earnings are higher, then under no circumstances mention it.
To increase his self-esteem in every possible way; the roots of tyranny are precisely in low self-esteem.
To love and care for him sincerely, you need to understand that this is a consequence of neurosis and the person himself suffers from it. Deep down, he also wants to live quietly and peacefully.

If you behave correctly with such a man, he will never cross the line and raise his hand. But do not confuse a tyrant and a sadist. If a person is a sadist, then he is sick. And he needs to be treated, or better yet, run away.

Take care of yourself

Never neglect your appearance. Give her special attention. Remember, you should always be the most beautiful woman for your man. Don't be afraid to change. Surprise a man with your beauty. He should always consider you the most irresistible and attractive. Marriage is not a reason to forget about your appearance. Some women forget about themselves after they get married, mistakenly believing that they have achieved the most important thing.

Remember, a man will be afraid of losing you if he sees that you are a self-sufficient and attractive woman. Do not think about unquestioningly fulfilling all his wishes and forgetting about yourself. If there is peace and harmony in your home, a man will never want to leave such a house. Know that everything is in your hands.

Types of husbands and wives

According to one theory, all men and women are divided into 8 types, each of which has its own pair - the opposite.

Women:

The mother is caring, she needs to protect the man, takes care of him like a son.
Amazon - she strives to do everything herself, she is ashamed to resort to the help of others, and competes with men in everything.
Daughter - she needs a protector, more experienced and intelligent than her, in his authoritative opinion.
Passive - wants to depend on her husband both financially and in terms of decision-making. In return, he can give him complete submission, absence of conflicts.

Men:

The father is a supporter of the classical way of life in the family, where the man supports the woman, and she obeys him in everything. They prefer women who are younger and less experienced.
Alpha male, or real man. He prefers to be obeyed unquestioningly in everything, without arguing, then he is ready to conquer mountains for the sake of such a woman. He will not allow his wife to do hard work and earn more than him.
The son looks for maternal care in a woman: delicious food, comfort, wise advice, care during illness.
A knight is his specialty in beautiful actions and words, but behind them there is often a reluctance to do something more serious. A very dangerous type of man for family life.

The best couples are father and daughter, alpha male and passive, mother and son. But Amazons and knights often have a hard time in family life; they need to work a lot on themselves and realize their mistakes.

Mistake No. 7. Preventing your husband from communicating with children from a previous marriage

Of course, a lot here depends on the man’s upbringing. Some quite easily part with children from previous marriages. But there are also those for whom such things become a real tragedy. And in such a situation, you should not force your husband to worry and be torn between you and the children, because this will inevitably lead to chronic conflicts. If you have already married a divorced man, be kind enough to treat his “baggage” from his past life with understanding.

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Infantile man

Therefore, you should not complain that your husband behaves like a child; perhaps, psychologically, he is a child. But it is in the nature of men to dominate, even if it is a man-son, this desire can be developed with special behavior. How to behave with your husband so that he stops being childish?

Gradually transfer small family responsibilities to him (paying bills, organizing a grocery basket), he may like it.
Talk to his mother so that she does not contribute to his immaturity.
Make fewer decisions yourself, wait for the last word from your husband.
Less interested in whether he has eaten or whether he is cold. This is an adult, he is capable of taking care of himself.
Don’t criticize, appreciate the very fact of trying to do something.

Lack of sex

Life after marriage no longer seems like a fairy tale. Why? Partners get used to each other and gain confidence that their significant other will not go anywhere now. This means you can calmly go about your business and pay less attention to your partner. The appearance of good relations remains. People still kiss when they meet, hug each other tenderly and say kind words. But there is less sex. A girl may say that she is tired doing household chores, and a man may prefer TV to his young wife. The logic of this behavior is simple. A person always wants to receive something that is inaccessible to him or something forbidden. When the possession of a beloved body had to be earned, one had to try. And now you don’t need to do anything, your loved one is always available. What is given to a person for free, he rarely appreciates.

Is it really that bad that people will eventually stop having sex completely? No. It's just that over time, quality becomes much more important than quantity. People approach sex more consciously, they take more breaks in order to enjoy the process.

Appearance

Often, a husband leaves because of his wife's sloppy appearance. How to behave in this case? Men love with their eyes and always evaluate the appearance of their spouse. Why do you need to preen yourself on the street, but for your loved one you can look anyhow?

You should always take care of yourself, but housewives especially often neglect this rule. What should you do if you notice something like this?

Throw out stretched T-shirts and worn-out sweatpants from your home wardrobe so that you are not tempted to wear them.
Buy beautiful home suits, slippers, sexy lingerie and pajamas.
Take care of your hair even at home. At least just wash them in a timely manner and comb them.
Apply a small amount of makeup before your husband arrives. The so-called makeup without makeup, it is invisible to men, but at the same time the woman begins to look fresh and young.

Mistake #8: Limiting communication with friends

Football, sauna, outings with friends. If all this was in your husband’s life before you, there is no need to deprive him of such pleasures after marriage. Just like you shouldn’t throw tantrums about your spouse’s interactions with people you don’t like. Believe me, the husband himself will figure out who to maintain a relationship with and what to do with friends, he is not ten years old. And if you really look at things, no matter how much you want, you will not be able to protect your spouse from either “bad boys” or “bad girls.” If your man wants to cheat, he doesn’t have to go to the bathhouse with friends; you can find a woman for one night at a business lunch in a restaurant.

How to behave after your husband cheats

Why this happens is a completely separate conversation, but, unfortunately, it happens. It does not always come to divorce, since it is often more expedient to forgive and understand if the husband repents. But there remains a wound in my soul and a question: how to behave after my husband’s betrayal?

You need to behave as before, so that the incident is quickly erased from the memory of both.
Stop contact with this woman, if necessary, then move.
Since this happened, then try to endure the experience. Analyze why this happened, how her husband’s mistress behaves, what attracted him to her.

If the woman remains, then the man by default thinks that he is forgiven. And you need to really try to forgive, otherwise it will be difficult. Sometimes you need the help of a psychologist to let go of such resentment.

Fight properly

In life, especially family life, it is impossible to do without quarrels. But it is important in the heat of the moment not to say too much, not to offend, not to humiliate a person.

To prevent this from happening, follow the basic rules of a quarrel :

don't insult;
sort things out immediately without accumulating resentment;
do not quarrel or make harsh remarks in public;
try to resolve the conflict before you go to bed, and in the same bed.

From this video you will learn about five mistakes that women make when quarreling with their loved ones:

What you should never do

There are elements of wives' behavior that can kill any love and cause hatred from a man. Here they are:

Humiliation of the husband in the presence of strangers, especially his friends.
Condemnation of his attempts to improve his quality of life.
Mentioning something in common, such as discussing a vacation together, using “I” instead of “we.”
“Nagging” him for what he doesn’t do.
Make decisions without consulting your husband.
Compare him with exes and husbands of girlfriends.

Mistake No. 10. Rest separately from each other

If your husband spends his vacation with friends and you spend his vacation with your girlfriends, this can have a bad effect on the marriage. Of course, you can afford such a trip for literally 2-3 days, but when we are talking about a longer period, it is better to spend it next to your other half. Still, vacation gives positive emotions and it’s good when you get them together, it’s good for the relationship.

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How to behave with your husband: advice from a psychologist

Contrary to various opinions, a man marries not to be washed, but to have comfort, a warm atmosphere and feminine energy at home. A woman who understands the power of her energy will know true feminine happiness. Here are some tips from psychologists on how to behave with your husband:

A man needs to talk directly about how a husband should behave, in the opinion of this particular woman. Hints often remain ununderstood.
Everything that is said in a gentle, measured voice and with a smile will be initially received positively.
Focus only on pleasant things. Praise for what he does, without reminding him once again of what he doesn’t do.
If there are complaints against the husband, they are expressed exclusively in private. Public humiliation will never have an educational effect on him; it will only alienate him and embitter him.
Support him in everything. Even if his idea is obviously a failure, you need to appreciate the very fact of the desire to get off the couch and do something, even if not the first time, but he will succeed.

You need to understand that a man is a person. And most often with your cockroaches, the roots of which go far back to childhood, and much cannot be corrected. But a woman has the power to smooth out many of the rough edges, motivate a man to take action and make him always drawn home.

Show yourself weak

You must show the man that you really need him. You may be quite self-sufficient and able to deal with your problems on your own. However, this is the wrong model of behavior. You need to act a little differently if you want to get your spouse's attention. You must show him that he is a real man by constantly needing his care and attention.

Don't think about moving furniture or hammering nails yourself. Even if you are able to screw in a light bulb yourself, don't think about doing it. All male responsibilities should fall on the shoulders of the husband. He should feel that you really need him and you can’t do without his help in the house.

If a man sees that his wife is doing great without his help, he will feel unnecessary and will lose interest in the home.

The man will mistakenly believe that the house can cope without his intervention. To avoid such a development of events, try to show that you are in desperate need of his support.

A man should feel strong and self-sufficient. He must know that you cannot cope without his help and really need it. Try to compliment him, thank him for his help and tell him that you couldn’t have done it without him. This will definitely bring the desired result. You must let the man know that you are behind him like a stone wall and feel protected.

What does a woman want?

Psychologists specializing in family relationships quite often hear similar complaints and grievances from women who don’t understand anything.

The question “what am I doing wrong?” At first it sounds rhetorical, but over time, after the behavior of both spouses is analyzed, certain principles of behavior begin to emerge that a woman should adhere to in marriage.

Often ladies voice a phrase that, perhaps, becomes the fundamental goal of all their efforts: “I want my husband to be afraid of losing me.”

So, what does it take? How to behave with your husband so that he is afraid of losing you, how to make him love and respect his wife, and cannot live without you - advice from psychologists will help with this.

Hide your saw

Even if you are not satisfied with many things or want something, in no case should you talk about it constantly, especially since an orderly tone or tedious repetition of the same thing is unacceptable . Believe me, your man has already heard you, and the process of thinking about possible ways to fulfill the request has already begun in his head.

By stooping to banal “sawing,” you can not only provoke a scandal, but also simply discourage the desire to do what you ask.

And you also need to ask correctly:

speak in a calm tone (best when the man is in a good mood);
do not use categorical words and command sentences;
Be sure to thank even for fulfilling the smallest request.

In order for a man to fall in love with you, it is important to always look attractive. We offer ideas
French manicure for very short nails
Don't forget that your hair should always be in order. Watch the video on how to weave a French waterfall.
And here you have the opportunity to see photos of smokey eye makeup.

Mistake No. 12. Stop thinking about yourself and your interests

If I am a wife, then I can forget about my interests, stop studying, visiting, attending some events, etc. Many women make this gross mistake; they have no time to take care of themselves, because they have to clean up, cook dinner, iron things, go to the store, do homework with the children, etc. There is no need to merge with your husband and live only by him and his interests, such things are permissible only during the “honeymoon”, but then return to your normal life, do not forget about yourself. Men get tired of crazy housewives very quickly; they are not interested in being with them.

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