How to start communicating on the Internet correctly - a Russian folk trick

This article is about how to properly start communicating on the Internet, social networks, chat and contact. Here the Russian folk trick of starting a conversation with any people by correspondence is revealed.

In general, the Internet is a somewhat new topic for people, but in large cities everyone has long been on this Internet up to their ears, now on smartphones, and now only there they can be found.

It can be easier for the person sitting next to you on the subway or on the bus to write something on WhatsApp, Viber or VKontakte, and he will answer you faster. And, no matter how you look at it, you increasingly have to start communicating with new people using electronics.

In this way, you can start a conversation with your future soul mate, a strong friend, a business partner, an employer, an employee, a hobby buddy, or a neighbor. It’s now easier to meet even your next-door neighbor on VK than in the yard.

In order not to become history, as the dinosaurs did in their time, it is vitally important for us to master this skill.

We will begin our applied article with an overview of the current situation in communication. Let's look at its pros and cons.

Total gadgetization of communication

And, of course, all these electronic means of communication are far from the most sincere way of communication, on the one hand. On the other hand, they allow you to communicate at a distance. And in a big city, people and friends began to meet even less often, because these modern gadgets make communication easier.

Because you know what's going on. Either a friend will send you a video with his daughter, or you will send him photos of your homemade product. And it seems like everyone is communicating, even communicating even more than before. There are these advantages.

On the other hand, if you give small children all these gadgets, then they very quickly become terribly capricious and irritable. I try to make sure they don’t even watch cartoons too much.

When children don’t remember cartoons, well, good, it’s better to go for a walk, make some kind of stool, play with a toy train or make one out of chairs... Well, something real, material, and not virtual, digital.

But, nevertheless, the age of digital gizmos and such communication, it is inevitably gaining territory and somehow we need to interact with this whole economy. And now it often happens that future spouses meet on the Internet.

By the way, it’s easier to find like-minded people this way. For example, some club for lovers of butterflies, hang gliding, cross stitch, rock climbing... Someone is going to go to the mountains in Crimea, for example. It’s much easier for him to find guys on the Internet: from all over the USSR: Russia, Ukraine, Kyrgyzstan, Belarus, Kazakhstan - he gathered a team and went. Everyone came together at the right time and went on a hike. All the guys came together like this, cut from the same cloth, as they say. Cool!

And to do this you need to be able to start communicating with people on the Internet. This is an important skill. Still, these are not only evil, but also good, useful, convenient things. It’s like an ax: you can chop off heads with it, but you can also chop off firewood. Or you can build (cut down) a house with an axe.

Be original

You can write the words “hello, how are you”, but you are unlikely to be able to stand out from the crowd of other “writers”. Therefore, if you still have the courage to enter into a dialogue, then show originality. Think about what exactly the first message from you should be. Perhaps a playful posing of the question in the spirit of “I see you like alpine skiing, but how do you spend time in the summer without snow?” will help attract the attention of the man you like and thus start a dialogue. You should not start a conversation with the phrases: “What are you looking for here?”, “What are your plans for the evening?”, “I also like to drink” - this is unconstructive and rude. Reputation on the Internet is also a reputation.

How to start communicating online with the right clothes

When you start communicating with someone, on the Internet, as elsewhere, you meet them by their clothes. There is a dress code accepted in the business world: suits, shoes, ties, white shirts. For example, a guy in a suit and with a backpack will look a little ridiculous in some places, but normal in others.

In the end, if you have to travel two hours to work, then you will spit on the convention associated with a case; it is much more convenient with a backpack if there are several transfers, and you also need to sleep on the train. Life simply won’t be any different if you don’t adapt to certain conditions. And this leaves its mark.

In some places suits are accepted, but in others it is so inconvenient that business people have long given up and do not use such a strict style of clothing. This is all typical for each individual community of people. There are certain rules and general requirements that we try to comply with. If you want to start communicating with someone, then you, too, must correspond to this.

For example, you want to gather people to go on a hike near the Crimea, so put a photo on your avatar where you are hiking in the Crimea or on some other hike: with a backpack against the backdrop of nature, in hiking clothes. It will be immediately obvious that you are a tourist, not just walking around the Moscow region, but a normal tourist, with a serious backpack that is higher than your head.

But this is conditional, in fact, I only went out in the Moscow region for 1-2 days with a backpack. And then my friends took me with them, knowing that I was not an expert in these matters, and the route was easy, for me, so as not to bog me down, so that I could reach the finish line. Therefore, it is difficult for me to judge what is happening already in such military campaigns, you know better. The hike is just an example.

For example, what else could it be, you invite someone there, you are looking for investors, perhaps they can also be found on the Internet. Maybe this is the shortest way, maybe not. I don’t know, maybe personal communication would be more correct. But let's say on the Internet. Then we need you to take a photo in a suit and tie, everything is as it should be.

Dress for the weather: special talk

I have a friend, and he has two photos: one of him climbing in the mountains somewhere, and the other of him in a suit. And when he needs, he uses them depending on what he needs: today he is in the role of an entrepreneur, he has a lot of extraordinary ideas - and he “puts on” a suit: he poses a photo in a business style.

But tomorrow he will already be a noble hiker. And in fact, he walked through the mountains, God grant everyone what they say. And he was on the verge of death more than once, but when he starts telling stories, you will listen.

And so, in order to communicate with other people, so that they understand what you are talking about and all that, you change your avatar, adapting to a specific task. This is where the screening immediately happens: if you need guys who will go with you on a difficult, serious hike, then all the fluff will be eliminated quickly.

And you don’t need those. Why do those who are used to spending their days on the couch watching TV with beer? They won’t communicate with you; their pride won’t allow it. It’s also like you’re no match for you, or you’re no match for them. Well, good and right. What happens here is that someone will want to communicate with you, someone will not, someone will be drawn to you, and someone will not.

I never managed to run in the mountains. Although our guys, classmates, are such distinguished hikers, and the guys there are generally so serious, they climbed Everest, Elbrus. As they begin to tell what is there and how it is - there is a guard.

To be honest, after some of the stories, I didn’t want to go there: it was just scary, to be honest. You have to want it badly to go there. And a team is needed. Some people love mountains, while others like to weave bast shoes. Well, that’s what drives him, and that’s good.

Email and SMS

For some time after the Internet became a public product, netiquette only concerned email.
With its help, people conducted both business and personal conversations. During correspondence, it is important to remember: the same person is sitting on the other side of the screen. Therefore, elements of “real” life etiquette need to be projected onto online communication. Quite simple rules will help avoid minor misunderstandings and major quarrels. An email doesn't fit well with the trappings of a regular message. This means that it should begin with a banal address and end with a polite farewell. The letter should be of medium size. A long explanation of the situation will quickly tire the interlocutor, and too short an explanation will not allow you to clearly express the idea. One topic for one message is an unspoken rule. You should not combine several ideas into one. Demarcation will allow a person to better perceive information.

Regular SMS, unlike mail, does not require strict style. They have one single goal - to convey information quickly and clearly. Unless you are writing a message to a friend who will definitely understand the essence, it is better to avoid unclear abbreviations, abbreviations and typos. This may cause misunderstandings. Yet, despite the simplicity, basic rules of politeness are an integral aspect. For example, do not write outside of working hours or interrupt the conversation in the middle of a discussion. Since SMS is primarily a method for informal communication, it is best not to use it for formal invitations.

Where children are taught how to communicate on social networks

For example, we have a school nearby where children are taught in such a way that they can communicate on social networks without any problems. They just don’t develop complexes related to communication. The same communication blocks that are placed on children in regular schools.

This is both a school and a kindergarten at the same time. And parents gathered there who want their children to grow up and learn in a creative environment, so that they are not bothered with homework. This is how it was done, for example, in Finland.

To have a sufficient number of children: not God knows how many are needed, but enough to rent a house and pay teachers. And the teachers gathered there, by the way, were very worthy. For example, there are graduates of Moscow State University, Gnesinki.

And one of the teachers’ name is Tatyana. I have a three year old son and try to get him to do something to clean up after himself. I can't do it yet. One day I arrived early and had to wait 15 minutes for the kids to finish playing. And Tatyana told me, come in and watch how we play here, and the kids will have more fun.

And now I see such an amazing picture. Tanya asks my son to clean up, but he has zero emotions. She asked him to do this 5 times, calmly and kindly. Then he sees that it doesn’t work. Maybe it was because I was present, I don’t know. And she said to him: “I’ll help you,” and she began to clean up, and he began to clean up with her, imagine.

I haven’t been able to achieve such calm with my children yet; it hasn’t lasted long enough to patiently convey something to them for so long. And accordingly, I don’t have such success, but she, of course, is a pro. And I will learn from her - it was a big lesson for me.

And so, such enthusiastic parents got together and organized such a school. Our girls go to preparatory class, and Romka goes to kindergarten. And they all play there having fun, do all sorts of interesting things, learn English and mathematics - the children go there with pleasure, they want to go there, they love their teachers. Fantastic.

That's how it is, if you remember my school years, especially at the first school I attended. Well, I personally don’t want to be a child, remembering all this disgrace from school. Of course, I had my first love and friends there, but I don’t want to go to school at all.

When do you really need to start communicating?

But in fact, school years are a happy time. And so as not to ruin this happiness, parents did this thing for their children. And, of course, it all depends on the fact that there are a sufficient number of families who take part in this, so that it is not difficult for every family. Because this is not a commercial event, but an ordinary cooperative.

I made a sandbox there, my wife looks after the finances. There is an organizer there who recruited teachers and negotiated rent. Everyone does everything they can to make it easier. Because if you hire a specialist, it’s money. And here, everyone invests, the school-club is a non-profit.

There is a school nearby, a public one, where children calmly pass the exam when the time comes. No one spoils children’s lives; they learn beautifully, smoothly, coolly, and playfully. And the time spent in this school is much less than in a regular school. That is, half a day, 3-4 times a week.

This is a completely different oxygen, this is not drill, but the education of a free person, in the good sense of the word. There are also additional classes if desired, but what is most valuable is that there is no homework. Simply fantastic!

And imagine such a cool thing, you need to somehow convey it to other people on the Internet in order to attract new participants. Usually women deal with this issue, and men are more busy getting money, and women are already looking at how best to accommodate children and so on.

Accordingly, what photo to put on your avatar, how to start communication. Let's start with the appearance. It is probably better when a woman is with a child, a child of preschool or school age. If this is an infant, then this is a little out of profile, after all, this is a school.

You need a photo with a child who is 6-7 years old or older. And then the person will immediately see that there is a child, and he has the same one. Oops, oops, oops. And communication begins. And, for example, a person wants to attract participants to such a school cooperative. We start with appearance – with our avatar.

If a girl, for example, was into rock music and rode a motorcycle, several years ago, until she met the man of her dreams. And now they have children - it’s great. But, probably, a photo in leather on a motorcycle will not be the topic if you want to attract families specifically to participate in such a family education club. Then you still need a different photograph: something suitable with a child, something calm, even, homely and cozy. Or maybe a funny photo with your child.

Varieties

Chats can be divided according to two main criteria - type and degree of anonymity. Let's take a closer look at each parameter:

1. Network programs. The first options appeared in the 90s of the 20th century. These are small applications that resemble forums in appearance and provide the ability to communicate between participants in real time. A delay of a few seconds seemed tolerable 20 years ago, as did the need to periodically update the message feed. Communications are carried out using text that is entered into a special field. All messages appear in the viewing window. The sidebar on the right or left usually displays members.
2. Voice. These are types of chats that offer multi-channel exchange of voice messages between interlocutors. To communicate, you need a microphone and speakers (headphones). This format is used in online games, for conducting webinars, and conferences.
3. Video chats. After the advent of data streaming technology, video format was added to voice and text chats. For such communication, a webcam is required.
4. Private, public, anonymous - all these are options for controlling access to communication. In the first case, the circle of participants is limited, and their number and privacy are set in the conversation settings. General chats provide free access to everyone after registration. Anonymous chat rooms are already a rarity - these are platforms for communication that do not require authorization.

What was previously a separate view has become an option in a modern client program or messenger. Applications such as WhatsApp, Skype, Telegram and a number of others offer participants text, voice and video communication formats, various privacy settings and much more.

How to successfully start a conversation with a frontal attack

To start a conversation, you can simply knock directly. You see that this person is suitable, you are interested in him, you would like to get to know him. Then why not try saying “Hello”? The most important thing here is not to overdo it. There is no need to immediately write a kilometer-long text and overwhelm a person with a bunch of messages.

Once upon a time, some guy on the Internet, my namesake, by the way, began to actively communicate with me. And for some reason he decided that I was proficient in the topic of website development. Well, I told him that I’m not serious about this. And he told me: “Come on, why be modest.” I, however, was not ready for such pressure.

I then posted a video on Instagram about our kids talking about their drawings. We had a marathon like this - we published these videos. And so he likes them and writes comments... To be honest, he just annoyed me.

Such attention to my person was damn unpleasant for me. The man went overboard with the outgoing flow towards me. And he probably had good intentions, but he fucked me up. Well, you shouldn’t start communication so aggressively. And this applies not only to the Internet.

Just knock and say “Hello”, leave something on the wall, a heart, a smiley face – try to start a conversation. If he responds, then gradually the conversation may turn to how children should learn.

I wrote to a person once, wrote to him again. And slow down. Wait for him to answer you. It is important to give the person room to maneuver: he should also have the opportunity to say something. Or not to say.

Total: how to start communicating with a person on the Internet? You need to choose a suitable avatar, then touch him, and not too much: turn to him, greet him. Don't load it, cast the line and wait for it to respond.

Instead of several small messages in a row, we write one long one

Very similar to the previous point. But let’s imagine that someone writes many short messages in a row
and each of them is a complete thought.

For the reader, once the notification is received, the switching process takes time. Therefore, in order to increase reading efficiency, it should switch as little as possible.

By t we mean time.

And yet, not everyone turns off notifications in chats that are important to them. Therefore, it is quite annoying to receive 10 notifications initiated by one person.

Exception:

when each thought is so strong that someone might want to respond specifically to it with the original message attached, then they are still worth writing down separately.

Life hack: Telegram has a Slow Mode setting that limits the frequency of sending messages to group chats. Read more.

How to start communicating with people and not splash them with a fountain of emotions

At one time I had an idea, they began to implement it, and then I still didn’t really know how to competently start communicating with people. Volunteers were needed to take part in this. You write to them so cheerful, joyful, like, “We have such a cool thing!” And no one answers you. It's as if you didn't write anything.

That is, there are too many emotions at the beginning of communication and it can easily not work. People are not always in a great mood to rejoice at your wonderful greeting.

They are more likely to answer if you write to them exactly, in a calm manner. This is another point regarding the presentation of your emotional appeal. It should not go too far beyond the boundaries in which this future interlocutor of yours sits.

It is important to use an appropriate emotional tone. Some will respond to the message in anger, others in fear. Some people will appreciate a constructive, business-like approach. For some – bored, idle, lazy. To the third - a cheerful, joyful greeting.

Look at the mood of this person’s posts on his page. How he communicates in discussions. And you will understand on what wavelength to write to him.

Here, by the way, you can see that this person’s wave does not suit you at all. For example, you would not want children from this family to study with yours. On this parent's page there is a rare selection of horror films, specific trash - well, he went into the woods.

Why waste time on it at all? This is such a person. His world is like this, and yours is different. And if you see that this is a normal dude, you can talk to him.

Topics to avoid when communicating

There are a number of topics that are considered indecent to discuss with strangers. This doesn't just apply to the Internet. But for some reason, it is in it that the rule of the taboo is sometimes forgotten. So, on what topics is it better not to ask questions, and in general, skip them at first:

• family,
• former relationship,
• sex,
• material well-being,
• health,
• policy,
• religion,
• nationality,
• personal troubles,
• war and violence,
• death.

As you can see, some of these topics are too personal, some have a pronounced negative connotation, and some affect the worldview of the interlocutor. Without knowing a person, it is very easy to offend him or bring him into the negative, even without meaning to, by touching on this or that topic from the wrong side.

How can you smoothly enter communication by correspondence?

It is not at all necessary to immediately communicate by correspondence directly with this person. Group chats are a great way to start communication. You can comment on photos, participate in general discussions, share thoughts, ideas - which is what we don’t have right now.

So chat there. And if a person also wants to communicate, then he will join this conversation if he is interested. And gradually, this way you can really get to know a person - he will recognize you, and you can move on to personal communication.

For example, this girl writes in a general chat where homeschooling is discussed: “Yes, it’s not a problem to agree with the school and take exams once a year. My parents and I teamed up, hired teachers and made an agreement with the local school - every year the children take exams.”

And the other mother answers: “Oh, how interesting! But we also wanted this home schooling, but we were somehow afraid, there are so many incomprehensible things there...” And here you can already take the bull by the horns: “What if you come to us, together with your child, try for a day, let’s get to know each other”

And this mother, it turns out, lives in the next house, can you imagine. So she came with a pie, we drank tea together, the children played. Who feels bad, well, even if she doesn’t join the common cause, it doesn’t matter, good relations with neighbors are also important...

Or you can just like it, repost it - and this way the flywheel of your communication with this person will slowly spin up. In short, you need to start communication softly. Otherwise, the person will simply get scared, and you will only make things worse.

Smoothly, in some thematic common places. Don't go too far. If you like every photo of him and write comments everywhere, then he will simply block you and that’s it. Put yourself in his place, what kind of attention would you like from a stranger?

How to create?

We figured out what chat is. Now the fun part is how to create it? Let's look at two examples: on Skype and on Vkontakte.

Skype-chat:

1. In the main window of the messenger, click the “+” button.
2. In the drop-down menu, select which chat you need: group, new or private conversation.
3. A window of contacts added to Skype will open, from which you need to select people to join the conversation.
4. All.

Chat on VK:

1. Go to the VK menu section “Messages” in the left panel.
2. In the central window where the conversation lists are located, opposite the search icon, click on the “+” icon.
3. In the list that appears, activate the checkboxes opposite the names of the people you want to add to the conversation. If the list is massive, use the search option.
4. Having selected all participants, click on the button at the bottom of the page “Go to dialogue”.
5. A standard VKontakte correspondence form will open. You are the Conversation admin, so you can add and remove participants as you wish.
6. All.

You can manage your VK chat directly from the message sending form. To do this, click on the “…” icon and select the necessary options in the window. For example, you want to view media files that users send, then click “show attachments”.

Phrases of interest

You're looking at someone's profile, want to introduce yourself and make a connection.

The fact is that this girl receives a lot of messages every day.

How to stand out from the crowd?

The main thing is to arouse interest.

The first phrase for dating on the Internet should hook you and make you want to answer something right away.

Where is the best place to start:

1) Ask about something from her profile

People naturally like to talk about themselves, so ask questions she'll want to answer.

Take inspiration from her profile.

If she realizes you've read her profile, you'll get bonus points.

• “I see you like the acoustic guitar. Who is your favorite musician?
• “You like science fiction novels, don’t you?” Which book impressed you the most?
• “I love that you volunteer at the animal shelter. I've always wanted to do this. How can I take part in your events?

2) List of three main things

What three things could you not survive without?

Name them first and try to make them unique.

Then ask a girl for her top three must-haves.

• “I can’t live without cheese, a bicycle and comfortable Nike sneakers. What about you? What can't you live without?
• “To be happy, I need my favorite unicorn T-shirt, a camera and strong coffee. What three things do you need to be completely happy?”
• “I'm addicted to Stranger Things, reading historical fiction, and dying my friends' hair weird colors. What three things are you addicted to?”

Basic rules of online dating

Let's start, perhaps, with what, without which all your further actions will be meaningless - with the rules and fundamentals of behavior on the Internet.

You can use these rules on social networks, on dating sites and on any other resources where you plan to make acquaintances.

Be well mannered

You simply do not have the right to be vulgar and rude. Forget it will not give you points in the eyes of the lady. At best, she will simply think that she is dealing with a gopnik, at worst, with an unbalanced pervert.

Try to master your literacy

Yes, some girls are also “not a fountain”, but you still try to write correctly. After all, if one out of 10 does not notice your gross mistakes due to their own illiteracy, then 9 will definitely pay attention to it. Even if all your commas are not placed correctly, the words “girls” or “want” are an irreparable stain on your reputation.

If your spelling is very bad, use special services to check texts. Finally, write your messages in Word, copy and paste into the dialog box.

A few tips

If for some reason you can’t see a girl’s photo or you can’t find out her age (this often happens on forums and dating sites), you can try using these tips:

• If a young lady is very capricious and touchy, most likely she is beautiful (or at least considers herself so).
• Cowardly, a little stupid and quite naive - most likely she is a teenager.
• If he starts a topic about work, weekends, lack of free time, earnings, etc. - Most likely, she is already over 20.
• If she starts talking about her studies, she is either a schoolgirl or a student.
• If on a girl’s page you only see photos of her face, try to make sure you see her completely. You can just ask for a full-length photo of her if you are already close enough. Otherwise, you risk seeing on the first date something that is far from what you hoped for.

The advice is banal, but sometimes we forget to pay attention to such little things and what we get is not at all what we pictured in our minds.