Negative thinking is a type of distorted intellectual activity. The problem is complex and covers all aspects of human life and activity. Even the contemplative one is “infected” and changed. Perception - a person sees everything in dark colors, notices only negative aspects. Everyday intellectual processes are absorbed by self-criticism and gloomy thoughts. There is a fair amount of illogicality. The rational component is suppressed. Reflection - even effective activity, success in any area does not allow you to calm down and change your point of view. At best, there is temporary relief, then the destruction of oneself from within continues with renewed vigor.
Normal life and life in general as such, as the full use of all opportunities, presents great difficulties. Therefore, you need to get rid of the violation as quickly as possible. Restore balance, change your point of view on the surrounding reality. Change negative thinking to positive.
At the same time, positive thinking does not mean ignoring problems. This is the ability to treat them correctly, objectively assess the situation and look for ways out of it. The work is not easy, but the task is completely solvable. Even on your own. Although it is better to work under the supervision of a specialist.
Reasons for the development of negative thinking
The conditioning of negative thinking is multifactorial. That is, a variety of factors influence its formation. We need to look into this in more detail.
Features of the psychotype
Some people are more prone to this cognitive bias than others from birth. These are representatives of certain psychotypes. The most typical individuals with such problems are melancholic. They are depressed most of the time. Sometimes a partial sublimation of the problem occurs: people transform their experiences into creativity, and draw inspiration from a complex state. But, in general, this is not entirely normal and constantly poisons life. This also includes persons with dysthymic accentuation, some paranoids, and schizoids. Provided that this is accentuation and not psychopathy. With personality disorders, the manifestations are even more obvious and noticeable.
Health status
Schopenhauer was right when he said that health outweighs all the blessings in life. If a person is sick, it becomes incredibly difficult to think positively. The worse your general health, the more difficult it is to perceive life in bright colors. Rehabilitation is aimed at solving this problem. The most serious cognitive impairment occurs in patients who have lost the ability to fully function. Loss of a certain sense (blindness, deafness), a functional part of the body - these are the most difficult problems of a special section of psychology and psychotherapy.
Upbringing
Plays a key role in the formation of personality and patterns of perception and mental activity. Basic reactions and habits are formed in the first few years of life. Formation ends by age 7. This is the “backbone” of the personality. Further only minor corrections are possible. The imperative way of education causes great harm to the child’s psyche. That is, a method in which orders are given without explaining “what” and “why”. The parent in such a system is the king and god, his word is the law. All orders are carried out unquestioningly.
An integral element of the imperative method of education is psychological and sometimes physical violence. With insults, belittling of personal qualities, suppression of any initiative, punishment as the main way of correcting behavior. Needless to say, what consequences do the tyranny and despotism of such would-be educators lead to for a fragile mind?
Another typical option is the lack of sufficient contact with the child. Parents are the complete opposite of the type described. If the former control every step of the child and harshly punish mistakes and disobedience, the latter treat upbringing with detachment at best. Instead of “do what they say,” the principle of “do what you want” is applied, often mixed with “and don’t bother me.” Mistakenly, such irresponsible behavior is considered the development of independence. Due to lack of attention and education, a person in the future becomes a carrier of an explosive mixture: negative thinking in a system with inadequate self-esteem, selfishness, reaching the point of consumerism towards everyone.
Social environment
Plays a big role in any period of life. The child is at the greatest disadvantage. He is forced to contact his peers: first in kindergarten, then at school. For obvious reasons, these contacts are not always harmless and pleasant. The specific concepts of “mobbing” and “bullying” have become firmly established in the modern terminology of psychologists. Forms of psychological and physical violence.
“Fun” interactions continue at work, in the military. Not everyone is able to painlessly endure the attacks of an aggressive environment and adequately respond to such challenges. The other option is no less dangerous, although not as noticeable. This is interaction with a toxic environment. People with personality disorders. Especially the narcissistic type, passive-aggressive individuals. A characteristic feature of such individuals is the need to “squeeze” every drop out of another or to assert themselves at his expense. This does not add either self-esteem or a positive attitude. It is important to be able to exclude such people from your life. It is more difficult to do this if such a person is a relative of the patient.
Negative experiences in the past
Experience of failure. Negative thinking does not develop in a second. This is a continuing process of accumulating unpleasant experiences. At work, in personal life, in school. Gradually the person stops even trying to act. The so-called learned helplessness develops. This is a destructive pattern that puts an end to success in any area. The patient is extremely unsure of himself and extrapolates his past experiences to possible actions in the future. This is a gross logical error, but the patient, due to cognitive distortion, does not realize the inferiority of such a position. It is difficult to escape from the situation. A good specialist in psychology or psychotherapy will help you break the vicious circle.
Diffidence
A classic component of the personality of a melancholic temperament, schizoid, introvert. There can be many options. As a rule, uncertainty does not travel alone. It exists in the company of other negative properties. The structure of negative thinking contains not only uncertainty, but also learned helplessness, as well as low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem
The inability to adequately assess one’s own abilities and potential. Happens frequently. In some cases, negative thinking combines the incompatible: negative patterns and selfishness, sometimes to a significantly developed degree. There is no paradox here. Such people, as a rule, are confident that the future is hopeless, are pessimistic, embittered, malicious and bilious. They view others as tools and belittle their virtues. Extremely cynical. These are also people with negative thinking. But they are much more dangerous due to their negative qualities and toxic psychotype. Without their own desire, personality changes are impossible.
Stressful situations
There is no full-fledged pessimistic pattern here. This is rather a temporary response to excessive psycho-emotional stress. Gradually compensation comes. On the other hand, under certain conditions in combination, a certain traumatic situation can become a trigger. A trigger for the development of cognitive distortions. But again, mainly among people with a certain personality type, “background”.
Mental disorders
The leader in this group of causes was and remains depression. A classic disease characterized by a triad of symptoms. Apathy, persistent decrease in mood and emotional background, persistent negative thinking (inadequate judgments, pessimistic in nature). This is no longer the field of activity of a psychologist. Psychotherapists treat depression. Some severe forms of the disorder are completely managed by psychiatrists and “big psychiatry”. In this case, complex treatment will be required. Usually long-term, quite difficult for the patient.
Negative and even clearly destructive attitudes are typical for patients with personality disorders. They are inherent in schizoid, paranoid psychopaths, as well as others. Although outwardly this may be disguised by bravado, indifference or a “mask”. Artificial, deliberately cheerful and carefree behavior.
Overwork
Asthenic phenomena provoke temporary mood swings and cognitive distortions. The notorious chronic fatigue syndrome can change a person's attitude towards things. But as soon as he retreats, everything returns to normal. Therefore, it is not worth considering this reason as a provocateur of a persistent violation.
Fears, phobias
Especially those related to social interaction. Social phobia, other varieties. Since a person is in constant contact with the object of his fear, negative patterns are always present and progress rapidly. Until they are fixed at the level of a stereotype, a paradigm of mental activity and perception.
These are the main reasons. But not all.
Hypnosis and self-hypnosis.
Many people are interested in hypnosis as a method of getting rid of negative thoughts. And indeed, with the skillful use of this method, many, although not all, can be “fixed.” However, in this article I will only talk about the technique of self-hypnosis, thanks to which you can stop thinking negatively.
The very decision to control your emotional state, your thoughts and feelings, already has a certain power. With such a decision, a person shows himself that he has taken responsibility for the course of his life. Sometimes just this thought is enough for positive changes to occur.
Self-hypnosis almost always begins with observing your body. First, we relieve muscle tension and relax. And when the body is already relaxed, the stage of repeating to yourself the verbal instructions you need begins. This technique ends by again switching attention to the sensations of the physical body. Mental attitudes received in a relaxed state have a different effect on our brain. Think about what thoughts you would like to have in your head instead of negative ones.
In a state of relaxation, our consciousness is less critical of information received from the outside, hence the real help when using self-hypnosis.
How Negative Thinking Patterns Destroy Your Life
The psychology of negative thinking identifies several stereotypes of perception and intellectual activity.
Tendency to depression
Any difficulties are perceived as an evil fate, the next blow from which one cannot recover. This causes the release of neurotransmitters, gradually overloading the body and causing mental disorders.
Denial of extensive experience
Reliance only on your own is often meager. To your experiences. A person discards someone else's experience. If in 999 cases the problem is solved in favor of the individual, and the patient himself encountered the very last case, 1 out of 1000, he will extrapolate the negative into the future. And it doesn’t matter what the statistical calculations and accumulated information are.
This illogic also extends to situations where the patient had a positive experience. If he encounters a negative result at least once, it will be carried over to the future. A student gets good grades and suddenly gets a C on a test. An individual with a distorted perception will certainly think that now he will receive C's and D's all the time. A brilliant employee was subjected to constructive criticism from his boss. “So now he doesn’t value me and will look for a replacement for me” is a typical thought with negative thinking.
Tendency to shift responsibility
Individuals with cognitive distortion often shift their failures onto others and circumstances. Paradoxically, if the problem persists, good luck too. It was just luck. Recognizing this, the patient renounces his own life and leaves it to chance. It is clear that in such a situation it is impossible to either set goals or achieve them. This is a harmful pattern that needs to be eliminated.
Conservative
Reaching retrograde. Reluctance to change anything. Bad job, disgusting toxic team, low salary and lack of career growth? “Where can I find another job, they seem to pay here, I’ll be patient.” The opportunity to move to another country that is more convenient for living? “Who needs me there (needs) / where I was born there and was useful / it’s good where we are not.” And so on. Such judgments are not constructive. A person with his own hands puts a heavy cross on himself and his life, potential, and opportunities.
Getting stuck on negative experiences
Scrolling through unpleasant situations in your head. Self-flagellation, shame. Despite the fact that all positive impressions disappear at the speed of light, leaving nothing behind.
Self-justification
On the one hand, everything is really bad. But it’s not me who is to blame, but “that guy” / bad weather / I was born under an unlucky star and so on. And I will prove it to myself and others. What is necessary, as they say, is emphasized. This is an attempt to close yourself in your shell and not change anything.
One-sided vision of the situation
The patient sees only the negative sides of absolutely any phenomenon. Quitting your job can be a turning point in your life. Perhaps this is a chance to achieve more, or even change things for the better. But not for a person with a negative mindset. The same applies to many situations. Even definitely positive ones: promotion, successful passing of an exam, etc.
Lack of objective perception of reality
The motto of patients with cognitive distortions is that I know better what is happening to me. Usually everything is exactly the opposite. The individual is so confused by his own erroneous judgments that he ends up in a vicious circle. From the outside, the problem and its solution are obvious.
Stubbornness to the point of obstinacy
It is extremely difficult to convince patients. This is also part of the distortion. Therefore, it is better to entrust the work to psychologists and psychotherapists. It will not be possible to quickly convince a pessimist. It takes time, and you can’t do it without the right approach.
Increased sensitivity
Because the patient is sure that he is not worth anything either as a person, or as a professional, or in other senses. This is not always actualized at the level of consciousness. Sometimes on a subconscious level. But many try to hide their insecurities behind a false guise. Resentment is the result of hypersensitivity. It is especially often observed if others notice this mask and turn to the true “I”.
In some cases, envy
Due to extreme self-doubt. It can be difficult to acknowledge the successes of others. Because, according to a pessimistic person, they highlight her own failures (actually imaginary). This means that they once again emphasize their own inferiority and insolvency. Individuals with negative thinking experience this unbearable feeling even more acutely.
Attachment disorders
Because of the belief in one's inferiority. Often such individuals remain in “proud” isolation without wanting to. They try to “put a good face on a bad game” and deny the need for friendly or romantic intimacy.
Aggressiveness, irritability
They also occur in response to almost any minimally negative aspects. Anger is normal. But aggression, as a pattern, is characterized by inadequacy (the factor to which the response is not always negative), as well as a low threshold of stimulus intensity. Anger is common in these disorders.
General perception of life in black tones
It’s bad now, but it will be even worse.
Breaking negative thinking patterns is a necessary step. The only way to get rid of problems is to change negative thinking to positive. It is extremely difficult to cope with the task on your own. It is best to work under the supervision of a competent psychologist or psychotherapist.
Practical exercises
There are several exercises to help you concentrate and free yourself from negativity. Try taking a piece of paper, drawing a dot on it and looking at it for a minute. It may seem annoying at first, but if you focus, the exercise really helps.
You can also concentrate on points in the body. For example, placing your palm on your heart, you should try to keep your attention on its beating. Such meditation practices are very convenient because they can be performed anywhere if you feel that bad thoughts are not letting go.
Photo: istockphoto.com
In addition, various breathing exercises and meditation help. It all depends on desire. If you force yourself to do something just to free your mind from bad thoughts, then this, on the contrary, will give an exclusively negative result.
When negative thoughts take hold, it is important to switch gears and take action. You can take a walk or eat. Yes, yes, to eat, or more precisely, to chew. The body must understand that everything is fine.
“I don’t want to” is not necessary: why shouldn’t you reproach yourself for laziness?
The psychologist also advises performing written practices, for example, writing out everything that is happening in your head, in order to unload your consciousness. Later, the pages can be torn or burned - literally throwing out unnecessary thoughts. At the same time, the expert strongly advises against putting additional strain on yourself. If you have a lot of worries in your head, you shouldn’t even read literature about it - you’ll only push yourself further.
Check for negative thinking: self-diagnosis
Various tests are used for diagnosis. A typical questionnaire includes a group of standard questions:
- Do you like changes in life? Are you ready for them?
- Do you like learning something new?
- Are you impulsive?
- Do you get along with people easily?
- Do you want your life to become better?
- In a situation or person, do you see the negative first, then the positive, or vice versa?
- Do you often indulge in melancholy?
- Are you overcome by sad memories?
- Do you assess the future rather positively or vice versa?
The wording, as well as the number of questions, may vary. But not much. This is enough for diagnosis. The results of the test for negative and positive thinking are deciphered by a specialist.
The dangers of toxic thinking
Toxic thinking is dangerous both for the person himself and for others. I will list all the dangers using the example of a grandmother and granddaughter; they will be the same in other cases.
- Toxic thoughts take up a lot of the body’s resources, physical, nervous, and psychological.
- Relationships are deteriorating. In our example, this will be a family, in other situations it could be a team at work, relationships with friends, acquaintances.
- Such thinking becomes a habit , toxic thoughts multiply like a snowball, and this is fraught with more serious problems.
Toxic thinking spoils relationships with friends, acquaintances, and relatives
Is it possible to get rid of negative thinking?
It is possible to get rid of negative thinking, but it is very difficult. Since all patterns are firmly ingrained into behavior and mind and follow the patient for years, constantly aggravated by new negative experiences, not the best impressions, etc.
You need to act decisively:
- Restoring self-esteem will allow you to look at things soberly.
- Finding your strengths. Pros. There are different methods for this. It is better when a person is looked at from the outside.
- “Revision” of activities in various fields. Search for your own achievements.
- Limitation of reflection. It is important that reflection does not turn into painful soul-searching, much less self-flagellation. It should be limited to a moderate extent. It is better to occupy the rest of the time with hobbies and interesting things.
- Refuse to compare yourself to others. This is a useless and even harmful thing.
- Exclusion from toxic people. Tyrants, whiners, those who like to rise up and establish themselves at the expense of others, opportunists, outright “parasites,” aggressors. Without pity or compromise.
- Development of logical thinking. Required condition.
You need to constantly work on yourself. The problem will not disappear overnight. This is a long and painstaking process. But the results are worth it.
Toxic Thinking Attitudes
Toxic thoughts do not arise out of nowhere. There are a number of internal attitudes whose owners are most likely to have toxic thinking.
- Focus on the negative . A person sees the bad and hardly notices the good. He always has not “Bad weather”, but “Terrible weather”, “Unbearable weather”.
- It’s all or nothing, a kind of black and white thinking. Either on foot or in a Mercedes. Either rags or riches, there are no in-between options.
- Far-reaching conclusions based on one episode . If you get a bad grade, you'll be kicked out of school. Unlucky in my first relationship - I’ll be alone all my life;
- Mind reading . “Everyone looks at me like I’m a fool”;
- Permanent expectation of negative events (catastrophizing) . “That’s it, we’re finished.” "And now what i can do?".
- Egocentrism . Everything revolves around the persona of a toxic thinker. “They did it to spite me.” "They conspired against me." I, I, me, me.
- Oughts . There is a set of unbreakable rules of behavior for yourself and others: must, must, need, necessary, demand. “They should have told us about the trip in advance.”
- Exaggerating the significance of events . Not “You forgot to turn off the light.”, but “How could you forget to turn off the light?! These are huge expenses!”;
- Devaluation of merit (one's own and others) . “Just think, I defended my doctorate.” "It was just luck".
- The comparison is not in your favor . "They always win." "They're better."
- Emotional rationale . “I’m sad, which means the relationship is bad.”
- Excessive demands . "They have no room for error."
- Discussing other people. “Did you hear how Sashka congratulated his wife on March 8th? Of course, I didn’t expect this from him...”
- Shifting responsibility . “Yes, I should have taken the documents, but why didn’t you remind me?”
- The desire to always be right in everything. “No, that's not true. I said that...”
- Overgeneralizations. “All women are talkative and cannot keep secrets.”
“Chief, everything is gone!” - a typical example of a toxic installation
Don’t rush to get upset if you notice one or even several toxic attitudes in yourself. Everyone has them, another question is in what quantity and how often they happen. One or two episodes - no big deal. But when such attitudes become a pattern of behavior, it is wrong.
Prevention
Fighting negative thinking is more difficult than preventing it from developing. It is not always possible to deal with a problem at its root, nor with its source. But there are still some methods:
- If the climate in the family is unfavorable, it is worth going on an “independent swim” as quickly as possible. Toxic people, including relatives, are unlikely to change. This means that circumstances need to change.
- You should not communicate with toxic people.
- It is important to look for your strengths and focus on them. Real achievements are the best assistant in the fight for your “I”.
- You need to respect yourself. Through thick and thin. Always.
- Mistakes and failures are a natural part of life. This is an indicator of development. Don't forget.
- Mental disorders need to be treated. Depression does not go away on its own, it only gets worse. Psychotherapy will be required.
These simple practical tips will help you keep your emotional and mental status normal.
An obsessive thought as a projection of your fantasy
We all know that thought is material. What always happens to us is what we think about, what we fear most. And when we get stuck in negative thoughts, life turns completely black.
Before we talk about how to overcome such thoughts, let's first understand why this happens to us. Why do we get hung up on bad thoughts and can't just let it go?
Obsessive negative thoughts are a kind of bad habit. A person understands that it is harmful to his health, but cannot get rid of it. Obsessive thoughts can bother a person for several days, and sometimes months. These may be certain fears, grievances, experiences, painful memories.
But what’s most interesting is that when time passes and these thoughts disappear, the person realizes that these thoughts did not pose any threat to him. Often, after a while a person realizes that the thoughts that have been poisoning his life for a long time are just dust and shouldn’t even be thought about.
Negative obsessive thoughts arise in a person’s mind involuntarily, against his will. A person is aware of pain, these thoughts are accompanied by depression and anxiety.
Causes of obsessive thoughts:
- Most often, the cause of obsessive thoughts is stress. No matter how a person tries to forget a difficult situation, it is still reproduced in the memory again and again.
- Obsessive thoughts can arise as a consequence of psychological trauma.
- The cause may be severe fatigue and exhaustion of the nervous system.
