How to love your husband again: effective tips

How to Love Your Husband Again: Actionable Tips: Pexels Years of daily routine and monotonous life can dull even the strongest feelings. After a few years, many spouses no longer experience intense passion and often live like neighbors. How to return your old feelings and love your husband again?

Don't focus on shortcomings

Many wives tend to dwell on their husband's shortcomings. Socks thrown by the sofa, slurping while eating, unbrushed teeth seem like small, insignificant offenses at the beginning of a relationship. Over the years, such little things become a serious irritant for the wife if she does not learn to accept her husband's shortcomings.

To fall in love with your spouse again, learn to ignore such trifles. If you can’t ignore them completely, make a list of a man’s virtues and re-read it often. This alternative pushes the husband’s annoying habits into the background.

Knownly losing strategies

Before you figure out how to make your wife fall in love with you again, you should familiarize yourself with the obviously losing strategies that are often found in glossy magazines. List of common mistakes:

Parting. If there are problems in the family, then they must be solved immediately and under one roof. When alone, partners tend to blame each other for all the troubles, which is unlikely to help restore the relationship.
A wait-and-see attitude on the part of the husband. The most harmful advice is to wait until the wife comes to her senses and decides to return. In fact, a woman may like her free life, so she will not rush back.
Give thousands of arguments. In most cases, the spouse guesses how the chosen one will persuade her. And his arguments are practically useless. It's not words that matter, but actions.
It's tearful to beg. Pressing for pity is a bad option. The wife is already in a negative mood, and tears will make the situation even worse. A woman wants to see a man next to her, not a whining boy.
Go for blackmail. The desperate husband begins to threaten that he will throw himself off the roof, or tell everything to the children, or complain to his mother-in-law. For the sake of the children, a woman may stay with her ex-lover, but her feelings for him are unlikely to change.

You shouldn’t buy all the flowers to surprise and make your cold wife fall in love with you. This should have been done during a happy marriage.

Stop criticizing your spouse

A meticulous critic who will find a lot of shortcomings and reasons for irritation in her husband lives in almost every woman. Coach Vadim Kurkin advises getting rid of this habit or turning complaints into constructive criticism.

When you make a comment, combine it with praise. This will help soften the criticism and not make your husband feel offended. When expressing reproaches, never get personal, use “I-messages” (“I was upset when my favorite cup broke”). Make critical comments only in a calm state.

Don't Criticize Your Spouse: Pexels

If your husband doesn’t appreciate: technology #slippersvsad

I will also share with you the author’s technique, which should be used if a man, to put it mildly, has become insolent or, in the words of scientific psychology, devalues the personal needs of his partner. It is needed if you often quarrel with your husband, your spouse does not respect your personal boundaries and causes pain, the relationship is already at a dead end, but you still push through it and hope for the best.

80% of families who used this technique are now together. 20% of women have ended a relationship in which they were unhappy.

What's the point? In fact, you must declare a moratorium on communication . Say, “I feel pain in our relationship. I need a pause to think about what will happen next. Therefore, you and I will not see each other and communicate for a month. We will meet afterwards to discuss what we will do next.”

Important: you do not break off the relationship. You pause. This is necessary in order to show your partner, who can no longer hear the words, that you are driven to the extreme degree of despair, and to give him the opportunity to realize the possibility of breaking off the relationship.

You quickly get used to good things. And in everyday life, a man quickly loses understanding of the value you represent. “We don’t keep what we have, and when we lose it, we cry.” In order for a man to regain his sense of your value, you must take it away for a while - #slippersinthegarden.

The male psyche reacts to a breakup in a special way. What happens when a partner finds himself in the “garden” and in “slippers”?

The first week is held under the motto “Festival in Brazil!”: Feeling that he has gotten out of control, the man goes into a breakaway. Beer flows like a river, friends come in crowds, at night he drunkenly flirts on dating sites, throws dirty socks around the house with broad gestures, watches unlimited TV or plays tanks on the computer. Life is good!

At this moment, the man rejoices at the opportunity to breathe freely and return to that teenage time when there was a lot of freedom. But a week later, memories from the same period begin to come, which he had conveniently forgotten about.

You can't go out with impunity - your health and money quickly disappear. And along with the money, friends miraculously disappear - those who are single and always broke. And those who are married already refuse and, smiling guiltily, with a poorly concealed feeling of superiority, say: “Well, now you are free, like a bird. I have a family, old man, I’m sorry,” and return to the house smelling of satiety and comfort, leaving the hero with a bottle of ketchup and a box of beer in the refrigerator.

Women on dating sites demand flowers, restaurants and serious relationships. But he has already managed to safely forget about it, like a bad dream, and he doesn’t want to start this mess all over again.

By the end of the second week, the man gets tired of doing his own laundry, cooking frozen dumplings, and a mountain of unwashed dishes blocking the entrance to the kitchen. And at this moment, longing for a tender wife, rich borscht and peace of mind for a well-fed future begins to creep into the male soul. In a fit of nostalgic love, a man timidly types a text message for the first time: “Hello. How are you?".

Don't accumulate grievances

According to psychology professor Pavel Rakov, the reason for the cooling of feelings can be hidden grievances and understatements between partners. A man may not even realize that a woman is experiencing mental pain because of some of his misconduct. Tell us about the problem that is bothering you, ask direct questions, explain what you are not happy with and why.

Restrain your emotions, speak in a calm tone, remember that the purpose of the conversation is to return love, and not to worsen the relationship. “I-messages” will help avoid an accusatory tone in the dialogue. Listen to the other side, find a joint solution to the problem, forgive grievances and start building new open relationships. If you can’t deal with grievances on your own, consult a psychologist.

How to win the woman you love

If you are faced with the problem of how to return a woman’s love to her husband, then it’s time to remember what you were like before marriage. Pay attention to the following points that will significantly affect your relationship:

Appearance. Over the years of living together, you could have neglected yourself and not noticed it. Start going to the gym. Bring your body to an attractive shape. Take a look at your wardrobe: what clothes are missing? Do you need help from a stylist? Why did your wife stop paying attention to you? The answers to these questions will help you understand where you need to go. It's no secret that external transformation can awaken feelings and take relationships to a new level.
Compliments. Do them randomly, spontaneously. This should not be too often or on purpose, otherwise your spouse will begin to think that you cheated on her or messed up somewhere. However, if your conscience is clear, then there will be no problems. The goal is to show how much you love and appreciate your wife.
Support. If your wife is a housewife, and you have taken on the function of the breadwinner, then do not think that a woman is a perpetual motion machine, created only for cleaning and cooking in the house. Take on these responsibilities yourself. Or try to separate them: you will do the cleaning and cooking, and your wife will do the laundry. Or vice versa. Discard the stereotypes that there are “male” activities and “female” ones. Be above them, this only applies to you and your wife.
Down with boredom. Break up the routine of family life with trips to cinemas or museums. Do you like sports? Start riding bikes in your free time. And if it’s winter outside, then skate or ski. But never do an act for the sake of an act - for show. Everything must be sincere, without falsehood.
Sex. It's no secret that he can change relationships not only for the better, but also for the worse. Unfortunately, if your spouse does not receive satisfaction from making love, then she will also lose interest in you.

How to make your wife fall in love with you through sex?

Don't be shy about talking about it directly. Learn to acknowledge rather than mask the problem. Perhaps something is missing. Or maybe it's a matter of excessive demands. Are you sure that your wife likes the same things in bed that you like? Or is the root of evil in boring and monotonous sex? In this case, change your sex life, try something new. There is no need to hush up the problem, otherwise it risks turning into looking for a partner on the side and betrayal. And then - and a break in relations.

Attention and actions

Sometimes it seems to us that building relationships is an operation akin to designing a subway. However, there is nothing complicated here. A man just needs to show that he still loves his wife and is not afraid to do beautiful things.

How to show attention?

Ask how your spouse spent the day, what new happened. During a conversation, look straight into the eyes, without being distracted by extraneous things. It is advisable if the gadgets are far from you. Try to focus on what your wife is saying. Don't interrupt. Be patient, listen to the speech to the end and only then ask questions. Give the opportunity to speak: any person enjoys being listened to.
Be observant. Notice little things like new jewelry, dress, handbag or hairstyle. Your powers of observation will not be left behind: women are very pleased when men do not forget about them and notice transformations in their appearance.
Show you care. Standard situation: the wife returned home from work. With bags full of groceries. In a terrible mood. What to do? Help me take off my coat, grab my bags, prepare dinner. It’s better to meet your wife in advance, saving her from the need to carry heavy loads. Indifference to the situation will entail doubt: “Did I choose the right one?” - the wife will think.

Features of actions:

Surprises. No matter how trivial it may sound, start giving flowers. Remember how it was before, when you were not yet a family. Bouquets, sweets, trips to a restaurant. You tried to win a woman, but after marriage everything came to naught. Why? Because you decided that it’s all in the bag: you have a family, there is a fireplace and dinner after work, you have everything and don’t need anything. But the hardships of living together fell on the wife’s shoulders. And besides cleaning, dishes and the apartment, she sees nothing.
Romance. Women lack simple attention from a man. Don't forget that representatives of the fairer sex are great romantics. They miss sunsets, sunrises, smiles, walks, and gatherings around the fire. Try to devote your free time not only to yourself, but also to your significant other.
Don't forget about gratitude. Even the smallest “thank you” will bring joy to your wife. It’s a small thing for you, but she will be pleased that a man appreciates and loves his woman.
Be honest. Unfortunately, lies can also destroy relationships. Has this ever happened to you? Have you often had to deceive your wife? Most of all, women don't like being lied to. With such an attitude towards a person, it is impossible to build a trusting relationship. Especially if this has happened many times. It is better to tell the truth once than to lie a hundred times.

Talk about love

The human brain is easily suggestible. When people are in a bad mood and forcefully smile at their own reflection in the mirror, their mood improves. When they jump on the spot or dance, they become more fun. The same trick can be performed with extinguished feelings.

If you constantly mentally remind yourself of your feelings for your husband, your brain will believe you and love will return. More often, immerse yourself in memories of the best moments together and tell your chosen one about your love. Such confessions will cause a surge of feelings and stimulate the partner. To justify trust, he will try to make pleasant surprises more often and give joy.

Talk about love: Pexels

Look to the root

“If you no longer want your partner, this may be due not only to sexual problems, but also to some other problems in the relationship. Often the real cause of dissatisfaction is not what is being voiced,” says Major. According to Katherine Woodward Thomas, a relationship psychotherapist who coined the term “conscious uncoupling,” it is not the most serious or dramatic thing that is causing it, but rather a small detail that “destroys trust and a sense of togetherness. Very often, as a lack of love, we perceive small disappointments, slight refusals, small unfulfilled hopes - these are those moments when we count on a person, but he is not there, or when we need support, but instead we receive criticism from our partner.” Falling in love, in her opinion, is “the feeling of being together. One way to regain that feeling is to be able to share what's bothering you."

Get to know your spouse again

After several years of marriage, a woman begins to doubt that she has chosen the right life partner. It does not evoke the same feelings and does not seem the same as before. A woman needs to realize that the man living next to her is really not the guy she married: he has become older, smarter and wiser because he has walked a certain path.

Over the past years, both spouses have acquired new friends, habits and concerns. Hobbies or preferences in music and food have changed. In order not to live with a stranger and fall in love with your husband again:

Find out about his hobbies and talents.
Ask about his friends, work.
Ask his opinion about what is happening in the world.
Immerse your husband in your hobbies, talk about them during dinner, show off your achievements.
Find topics of conversation that are close to both of you.
Establish common romantic habits.

Have candlelit dinners every Thursday or make out in the last row of the movie theater on the weekends.

Create Romantic Habits: Pixabay

Advice from a psychologist

A man must understand that old feelings cannot be returned. Therefore, you need to win your spouse again. Psychologist's advice:

Do a lot of work on bugs. Take into account all the claims and complaints of your spouse and try to change your behavior.
Be patient. Haste will only lead to new mistakes.
Call your spouse for a frank conversation. Listen carefully to her speech, without taking hostility or making excuses. It is better to immediately admit all your mistakes.
Communicate more. You should ask your wife about her affairs, take an interest in her hobbies and interests. During a conversation, it is advisable to listen carefully, sometimes ask questions and look into the eyes of the interlocutor.
Give your wife all your free time. You can suggest watching a movie together, going to a recently opened cafe, taking a walk in the park, going to another city for two or three days, admiring the sights. Or follow all the wishes of your wife.
Take care. A man needs to take on some of the household chores, prepare dinner or breakfast at least once a week, and remind him of important matters and meetings.

READ I fell out of love with my husband: get a divorce or save the marriage

If a man does not know how to make his wife change her anger to mercy, then it is advisable for him to immediately contact a specialist so as not to further aggravate the conflict.

Spend more time together

Drowning in the daily routine, partners often forget about each other. Due to everyday life, work and caring for children, it is difficult for them to find time for personal communication and spending time together. This is bad for relationships. Spouses move away, feel alienated and separate.

To prevent this from happening and to rekindle your love for your husband, organize some leisure time together:

Take a walk in the fresh air.
Play board games.
Watch and discuss popular film releases.
Organize a shopping trip together.

According to psychologist and author of the book “Man and Woman” Mikhail Litvak, joint activities give rise to common tastes and views on life. And those, in turn, serve as a reliable foundation for strong love relationships and family life.

What psychological techniques are used for this?

Psychologists have discovered how a man can make his ex-wife fall in love with him. They believe that in order to restore relationships, spouses must go through a stressful or extreme situation together. Strong experiences cause positive and negative emotions, but despite this, love only grows stronger. Therefore, the husband must model suitable conditions.

But when experiencing stress, the wife should feel support and care from her husband. Then the psychological technique will work.

Make surprises

Stable relationships differ from nascent love in their predictability. At the beginning of a relationship, partners get to know each other. They feel newness in everything and do not know how the chosen one will behave in a given situation.

Bringing this feeling back into your married life is quite simple. Give your husband pleasant surprises more often: cook unusual dinners, give compliments for no particular reason, write loving messages.

This behavior will bring the missing novelty to the relationship and stimulate the spouse to take reciprocal initiative.

Surprise: Pexels

Focus on results

It can be difficult to tell your partner that your feelings have cooled down.

“The truth can be very painful. If you want to say something that may hurt someone else's feelings, always try to offer options for the development of events. Like, ‘It’s really hard for me to talk about this, but I want us to get closer, so we need to do this,’” says Woodward Thomas.

If you make your positive intentions clear right away, you can start a difficult conversation smoothly.

Go on a journey together

Most families live according to a predetermined plan. A planned life has its own charm and gives a feeling of stability, but mutes ardor and passion.

To revive the love for your spouse, forget about a perfectly planned life for a while. Leave room for spontaneity and unleash your inner child. Let him organize a romantic trip together. According to psychologist Elena Tsedova, a change of scenery and a joint vacation will have a positive impact on relationships.

Moreover, it is not necessary to spend the entire family budget on this and fly to the Maldives. You can get the necessary dose of romance in a neighboring city or at a country picnic.

When a woman notices that her feelings have faded, she has two options: pack her bags and leave, or try to love her husband again. Listen to the advice of experienced psychologists and work on your relationships. Perhaps love did not go away, but only took a nap in anticipation of a new wave of strong feelings in a marital relationship.

Original article: https://www.nur.kz/family/relationship/249861-kak-polyubit-muzha-zanovo-deystvennyye-sovety/

Secret tricks and methods

If you gave compliments and supported your spouse in every possible way, but the result is still zero, then adopt these methods:

Straight Talk. Dialogue is always better than swearing. Spouses can quarrel for a long time, aggravating their situation, and the negotiating table will be able to resolve the conflict in one day. Ask a woman a question directly: why don’t you love me? What's wrong?
General activity. Don't know how to regain your wife's trust? Try to find a joint business. If your spouse is a creative person, offer to help. Show interest. This helps to get closer and establish a spiritual connection between people.
Entertainment. Go bowling or shooting range together. Find out what your wife likes best. You can also have fun in the company of friends. How long have you been getting together? Invite them to a restaurant or visit to celebrate a birthday, New Year, promotion, etc. The reason could be simply a desire to see each other. Yes, this does not encourage solitude, but it will help you get closer: a cheerful atmosphere will lift your spirits and neutralize negativity.
Relaxation alone with nature. Find free time to go out of town for a picnic. Or maybe with an overnight stay? Teach your wife how to survive in the wild in the truest sense of the word. Show what you are capable of: put up a tent, cook food over a fire. Be savages. The more time you spend together, the stronger your relationship will become.
Make discoveries. You may feel like you know everything about your significant other. What if this is not so? Ask your wife a few questions regarding her interests, hobbies, and preferences. You'll probably be surprised.
Take her problems upon yourself. Inquire about your wife's health. Perhaps she needs help or advice from a specialist, and you, for example, know a doctor. Try to be there in difficult times, let your wife feel that she can rely on you.

How to make your wife fall in love with you again? Let's summarize:

It is impossible to change a person. Change yourself.
Don't put the responsibility on the woman. Men who blame the female sex for their troubles can safely be considered losers. Pay attention to yourself first: how you treat your family, what your behavior is. Is your wife happy with everything or is there something to work on?
Share chores around the house. Don't blame your entire life on your loved one. Give her a break from this.
Show respect and be polite. Have you noticed that you start raising your voice out of the blue? Or nitpick over little things? If not, that's okay: continue to be polite. If yes, you will have to remove rude and abusive words from your vocabulary, stop shouting and reproaching your spouse out of nowhere. Think a thousand times before you make a mistake.
Talk about everything related to relationships. Feel free to discuss sex life: be interested in the desires of your loved one. Try to find a compromise.
Declarations of love. Try to say the phrase “I love you” as often as possible. Call your spouse affectionate names, touch and hug her. Maybe that's what she's missing?
Do unexpected things. Do something you've never done before. For example, give your wife a ticket to a concert of her favorite artist. Give an unusual birthday gift - go to billiards or play paintball. The more unexpected the action, the higher the likelihood of rapprochement.

Remember that if you don't work on your relationship, the consequences can be dire, including divorce. And then it will be much more difficult to return love.

There were no signs of trouble

You loved and protected your family as best you could. Avoided parties that for some reason your woman loved. Sometimes he was rude and unrestrained, but he did not allow himself to be cruel. The order in the house was up to you. His wife didn’t care; she didn’t appreciate him. Therefore, you often quarreled, sometimes literally out of nowhere.

Both were good - after all, there is no one to blame, right? Yes, you didn’t often please your wife - you rarely gave flowers and gifts. But he tried for the sake of his family: everything went into the house. Yes, you've gone through a divorce. But you can forget everything and start over? You can learn to ignore your ex-wife's shortcomings and return everything to the way it was...

Let's sum it up

So, in order to win the heart of your soulmate again, you don’t need to try to change her, blame her and allow rude words towards her. First, analyze your behavior, take on some of the household chores. Pamper your beloved, organize romantic evenings for her from time to time. Be sure to be interested in her needs and problems, discuss her intimate life and, of course, surprise her. Remember: true love is unconditional, it will never demand anything in return. Therefore, try to drown out your own selfishness and simply give your beloved wife all the best that you have, without setting conditions for her. This is how you can win your wife’s heart, her loyalty and devotion.

Treason

A natural set of circumstances due to the lack of regular sex is cheating on the part of the husband or wife.
It is useless to look for someone to blame in such a situation, because inattention and dissatisfaction with personal life give rise to betrayal. Of course, it’s difficult to forgive this, but if both people understand the reasons and are ready to forgive, then all is not lost.

I love my ex-wife. How to cope with your wife's departure?

· As a rule, the first thing a man who finds himself in such a situation does is go to his old friends for support and approval. Unfortunately, in our time, few people can boast of real friends, usually these are a couple of friends who are always ready to wash the bones of their departed wife, and at the same time drink to a new single life.

And now the problem does not seem so serious, the tension recedes, and friends go to their families. Few people in this situation do not run for a second bottle and drink it alone. at this time, not a single man admits that he loves his ex-wife. There is no need to explain how this could end.

· There are two more extremes into which men abandoned by their wives can fall. This is complete immersion in work, because you simply don’t want to return to a cold, empty and lonely home, or, on the contrary, they begin to indiscriminately start affairs, sometimes quite adventurous, thus trying to rehabilitate their masculine worth in their own eyes, and not only in sexual terms.

Alas. Neither method can lead to anything good. At work, you can damage your health, and women... A serious woman will not agree to have a one-night stand, and an abandoned man is simply not ready for a longer relationship.

· So, neither the first, nor the second, nor the third should be done. And you should, first of all, honestly answer the question of what exactly led to the collapse of family relationships, consult a psychotherapist if you can’t find the answer on your own and try to somehow get your soulmate back.

How to make your ex-wife fall in love with you?

However, there are times when it really becomes clear that the love for your ex-wife remains and you are determined to get her back. Then:

Before you start courting your ex-wife, think about whether you really need her that much and whether you love your ex-wife. Remember your life together and think about what your pros and cons were. Try to find your cons and your spouse's cons. If you really want to be with your ex-wife, then proceed to the next step;

Try to evaluate your relationship. Remember all your conflict situations and find in them the common thing that infuriated your spouse in you, and you in her. Try to change those character traits in yourself that previously drove your wife crazy;

Try to learn to admit your mistakes and failures. Once you learn, you will understand that you will be able to avoid conflicts. Understand that your mistakes are just steps along which you climb and go up to your goal in any life situation;

Change your character, your behavior, correct your reaction to this or that action. Try to take things more simply than usual;

Learn to listen and listen to your beloved wife. Many problems arise because men seem to listen, but don't actually listen. Change this by believing that your spouse can be an interesting person to talk to. Plus, all the reproaches, discontent, disrespect, accusations from your wife will become a respectful look, words of praise, pride for you and gratitude towards you;

Also learn not to have complexes, to talk about your feelings, to express your pleasure in a calm tone, not to withdraw into yourself, not to run after your wife, not to indulge your wife in everything and not to hide everything within yourself. You must always remain loving and unique for your spouse.

Common children

When your wife still has your child after a divorce, you cannot disappear from his life.
Agree on the days when you will visit your son or daughter. This is a good chance to spend time together and prove that you are capable of understanding and loving. In many cases, couples get back together thanks to children. Of course, it would be better if they did not get divorced and the children did not suffer. It happens that the ex-wife quickly gets another man. It is possible that it was because of him that you got divorced. In such a situation, it is much more difficult to get your wife back, but this is not a reason to give up. Behave appropriately, don't make a scene, and show that you are a much better father to your children. You already have at least one significant advantage - you are a real, biological father.

Signs of a cooling relationship

You quarrel over trifles more and more often, and your head is no longer dizzy from love. No, this is not at all a difficult period in a relationship, which will pass on its own, especially if you notice the following sad signs in your spouse’s behavior:

When you are in company, she often pays attention to other men and is not embarrassed by your presence.
She does not tell you about her affairs, communicates only when necessary and in monosyllables, and is simply not interested in your affairs.
You irritate her more and more often with your jokes, conversations, behavior, which she constantly expresses in a harsh manner.
She no longer wants to spend evenings and weekends with you, she strives under any pretext to leave and spend time in the company of her friends.
Intimacy happens less and less often. And if it does happen, then the spouse performs it out of duty, and not with passion, as in the old days.

I love my ex-wife: what to do

It is when old grievances and disappointments are forgotten that you want to give a second chance to the relationship. By the way, sometimes this can be a very effective option; there is no denying that in practice you can meet couples for whom temporary separation has given the opportunity to reassess their feelings and emotions for each other, to look at the relationship from a new angle.

Sometimes the second attempt makes some men understand that there is no one better than their ex and they love their ex-wife. In any case, when thinking about whether or not to renew your relationship with your ex, and what to do in such a situation, remember that the outcome of your old-new relationship depends on mutual desire. Think about it, if once you have already decided that you are not on the path, is it worth starting all over again? Do you really love your ex-wife?

It may also be that a repeat relationship after a breakup will only be a platform for taking out your revenge. This happens when a woman unexpectedly leaves a man. In this case, when returning, the man seems to want to show his superiority.

In this case, the man is driven by the hope that his ex-wife will be incredibly sorry, ask for forgiveness, and beg to come back. But you shouldn’t flatter yourself with vain hopes; it’s naive to believe that this is exactly what will happen. Think about it, if the situation is radically different from the expected one, it will be doubly painful for you, and you may even experience aggression towards the lady. Is this the kind of relationship you dreamed of?

If you understand that you cannot forgive a person, that you are completely different people, that your first breakup was not a mistake at all, then you should not step into the same river twice. The emotions of meeting after separation will pass; the most important thing in this case is not to dwell on the past in order to build the future.