What to do when you feel bad and want to cry - how to find a way out of the impasse

What does mental pain “scream” about?

Bad mood, depression, despondency, sadness are emotions that have a right to exist. It is impossible to be positive all the time. When something hurts, we go to the doctor. Pain is a sign that there is some problem in the body. Treatment is necessary to prevent the disease from developing further.

The situation with the internal state is exactly the same. If you do not cope with the negative emotions that poison the soul in time, everything can end in severe depression, mental disorders and even suicide attempts. Heaviness in the soul may be a signal that it’s time to:

• rethink your goals and reconsider the current stage of life;
• make changes that you can’t decide to make and constantly put off;
• slow down the pace of work;
• take a break from the hassle and bustle;
• be more attentive to yourself, your feelings and experiences, without pushing them into the background;
• get rid of loneliness and find like-minded people.

If you recognize such signals in time and take measures to eliminate them, then your state of mind will improve quite quickly. Your mood will improve and life will sparkle with new colors.

You should sound the alarm when you notice the following signs:

1. Eternal depression. You are constantly in a bad mood. Nothing pleases me at all. You don’t even try to smile at others on duty.
2. Lost interest. What once made your eyes burn has now become bland and boring. Neither work, nor hobbies, nor hobbies arouse enthusiasm anymore. Moreover, you even avoid meeting with friends.
3. Prostration. You feel like your battery is completely drained. Even if you have gathered the last of your strength and started to work, you immediately stop it. You are unable to concentrate on completing tasks.
4. Deterioration in sleep quality, insomnia. At night, sadness and melancholy become even heavier. Anxious thoughts prevent you from falling asleep peacefully. And when you wake up in the morning, you feel as if you had been unloading wagons all night.
5. Indifference to one's appearance. Not only have you stopped visiting the hairdresser, but you even simply forget to wash your hair or brush your teeth. You put on the clothes that fall out of the closet first. You don't care at all about your appearance.
6. Lost desire to have sex. People who are in close relationships have lost the joy of sex. They stop taking initiative and are reluctant to agree to intimacy with a partner. They don’t even try to act out passion in bed.
7. Apathy. You are no longer interested in news from the lives of your friends. You don't care what you're wearing, what you look like, what you eat, etc.

All signs point to you being deeply depressed. And it's time to pull yourself out of it. The article “How to get out of depression” has a lot of useful tips on this topic.

Causes of sadness and how to deal with it

Before you fight sadness, you need to find out its cause. Let's look at some of the main causes of sadness, as well as ways to combat it. So, most often the soul becomes sad and lousy for the following reasons:

• loss (death of a loved one, divorce, separation);
• relationship problems;
• melancholy for no apparent reason.

Loss

Perhaps the most difficult test in life is to survive the death of a loved one. It is very painful, difficult and bitter to lose loved ones. But you have to get over it. Usually the first few days after the incident a person is in shock. He cannot fully comprehend what happened.

Then, a week after the tragedy, the person realizes that he has lost a close friend or relative forever. He is overcome by acute emotional and sometimes even physical pain. Over time it fades and becomes a little easier.

It is very difficult to advise anything in such a situation. Recommendations like - find yourself a new activity or look for new experiences - are meaningless. In a state of difficult experience, a person does not want to do absolutely anything. But you shouldn’t immerse yourself entirely in your grief. This will lead to deep depression and mental disorders.

The “black” longing for the departed person should turn into light sadness. This, of course, will require time and effort. First of all, remember those who stayed next to you. These people need you. Pay attention to them.

The pain of loss helps ease work and solving pressing matters. In order not to endlessly chase thoughts about the departed person in your head, immerse yourself in work or a hobby. By the way, when we grieve the loss of a loved one, we feel sorry for ourselves. We cannot imagine life without this person, and therefore we grieve. But we don’t know where he went. Perhaps he is better there than on earth.

Divorce or separation is much easier to cope with than the death of loved ones. Although at first it seems that life is over. It is difficult to imagine your bright future without familiar relationships.

In this case, you need to distract yourself from negative thoughts associated with divorce. If people disagree, it means they don’t like each other in some way. You will still meet a person with whom you will live in perfect harmony. And you will find happiness again.

But you understand perfectly well that sitting at home and mourning the past, you will not find love.

Keep meeting your friends. Add bright emotions and colors to your life. Update your wardrobe, go for a massage, go to the hairdresser, change your image. Gradually you will feel that you are ready for new acquaintances and relationships. Read about how to love yourself on the website.

Relationship problems

If in a relationship you are more often sad than happy, then you should think about ending it. Relationships shouldn't be painful. Discuss your experiences with your significant other. Were you able to find a compromise and solve the problem? Wonderful!

If nothing changes and you still continue to suffer, break this painful connection. Parting will be a difficult test, but in the future it will bring relief and the opportunity to meet true love.

Longing for no apparent reason

Sometimes it happens that everything seems to be fine in life. Everyone is alive and well. But for some reason it became sad and depressing. Although there is no objective reason for sadness, and you don’t understand why your soul feels so bad. Allow yourself to be a little sad and try to find the reason for the blues.

1. Think that you are doing well. You are healthy, your loved ones are also in good health. You don't have any serious problems. Thank fate for this. And you will immediately feel how you will feel better. Turn on your favorite music, read an interesting book. They will help you distract from unnecessary, unreasonable thoughts.
2. Perhaps you are simply tired from household chores or work. Give yourself a few days to fully relax. Take some time off from work and go on a short trip.
3. Gray and monotonous everyday life also spoils the mood. New experiences will help to disperse the melancholy caused by the daily routine. Do something you've never tried before. Provide yourself with new and unique emotions. Go to a concert, go hiking, dance, ski, go for a bike ride. There are a lot of options!
4. Sadness can also settle in the soul from loneliness. Even the most die-hard introvert needs a friend. Surely you have at least one friend whom you can invite to the cinema or for a walk. If not, try expanding your circle of acquaintances. Sign up for courses, register on the forum that interests you. There are a lot of people in the world. And somewhere your soul mate is wandering.

I recommend watching the following video when you feel sad again.

I feel bad. main reason

Don't neglect God's help. When your strength is running low, remember the One who created you. God is love. He can and wants to help you; you were not created to suffer, but to fulfill a special purpose on Earth. You are unique, and there is no other person like you on the planet and there never will be. The Bible says we are created in the image and likeness of God. The devil hates God, but is not able to harm Him. Therefore, Satan takes revenge on the Creator by attacking His image – us, people.

Make peace with God, ask Him for protection!

Live communication with God

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Psychologist's advice

Let's look at the main tips from psychologists to combat blues and sadness.

Determine the cause

We have already discussed the main reasons for bad mood. The mood drops due to troubles, failures, and misfortunes. However, not all. It all depends on how you yourself perceive the situation. Stress-tolerant people's mood deteriorates much less often than those who are completely unable to cope with their emotions.

And adrenaline, cortisol and other “stress hormones” are to blame. They are produced in large quantities in the body when a person experiences stress. It is these hormones that cause us anger, fear, uncertainty, shame, guilt and other negative emotions. To block the excessive production of these hormones, you need to learn to control yourself.

When you determine the cause of your sadness, leave it in the past. Move into the future without this unnecessary burden. Do not let such situations disturb your inner peace and harmony.

Let go of the past

If you feel bad because you feel guilty towards another person, ask him for forgiveness. Sincerely reveal your feelings and emotions to him. You can do it in person, or you can do it in a letter. Has he forgiven you? Amazing! You can breathe a sigh of relief and move on with your life easily. If not, then it is his choice to live with the burden of resentment.

Or, on the contrary, you were offended and the feeling of disappointment does not go away. Resentment is a very caustic emotion. It is imperative that you deal with it, even if the offender does not seek to ask for your forgiveness. First of all, stop dwelling on resentment. Fill your life with bright emotions and impressions, against the background of which your resentment will fade and disappear altogether.

Change the scenery

Even the smallest trip can lift your spirits. Sometimes, when your soul becomes sick, you just need to break out of your usual environment and city for a day or a week. Choose a place you've never been to. You don't have to fly abroad. Where you live, there are probably still places you haven’t explored.

Have you ever seen a sunrise in the mountains? It's magical! The calmness and tranquility of the mountains is conveyed to everyone who has ever climbed to the top. There, between heaven and earth, all those troubles that you allowed to spoil your mood begin to seem like something insignificant and small.

Visit a psychotherapist

If sadness still won’t let you go and you no longer know what to do, seek help from a psychotherapist. It will help you:

• to know yourself;
• find out your true desires;
• determine goals in life;
• find a path that will help you realize yourself;
• identify the root cause of your problems;
• overcome fears;
• learn to express emotions and communicate with people.

After all, often we just need to talk it out so that the sadness goes away. If you have absolutely no one to talk to, go to a psychotherapist.

Requests for help Write your story I have been feeling very bad for the last 5 years. It’s like there’s a lump of dirt stuck in my chest and eating away at me from the inside. I haven't wanted anything for 5 years now. No sex, no work (which I simply no longer liked), watching movies, walking, talking and, in the end, living too. Every day I come to work, communicate with my workmates, pretending that everything is fine, smiling in their faces, joking with them, and when I come home, I turn on music and lie and listen. I just listen and dream of dying or being born in another century. But there is no one to tell the truth. Parents have been divorced since 2010. Relations with them are as cold as ice. My father demands a lot from me, what I don’t want, I don’t like. But I have to do it so as not to disappoint him, and in the end I still make a mistake somewhere and disappoint him. Maybe I lack love or something else that I don’t see or realize? At home too, I just stopped cleaning, I live as... well, I just live as I live. I don't care about anything. I want to scream so loudly that someone on the other side of the universe can hear. Why does it hurt so much? Why so bad? What is wrong with me? I’m 28 years old, and I feel like I’m 80. I’ll say this if it weren’t for Mom and Dad, I would have committed suicide <ed.mod.>... Lord, how bad my soul is. I would like to write so much here, but I doubt it will help me in any way, I doubt it will instill in me the spirit and strength to live on. People will read what I wrote and many will think about it. What a moron. Or they'll just sympathize with me. And I just won't care. I want to be free from life. I want to jump from a plane and just fly down with my eyes closed and know that just a couple more moments of the flight and I will be free. I have no one to complain to, no one to tell how bad I feel, no one to cry on, and this is probably sad from the point of view of a normal person. I understand that suicide is not the answer. And it won’t make it any easier for the family. But I didn’t even care about my family. I'm scared by these thoughts. This is probably the first and last time I write something on the Internet.

Sasha, age: 28 / 05/23/2017

Responses:

Hello. It seems to me that it would be right to remember when you began to have such an attitude towards life. It was five years ago - what happened to you then? Maybe some unfavorable events that affected You so much. And all this time you are struggling with their consequences. Think about it. Perhaps the reason is generally in Your work. It was at that age that he began working. The responsibilities you perform can be very exhausting. Relationships with management or team. At first glance, everything may look good, but in fact it is a source of discomfort. I know from personal experience how powerful this can be. Working in one organization, my soul was heavy all the time and I didn’t want to do anything after work. There was always something wrong with my health, despite my young age. After some time, the organization moved and I had to leave there. And, as time shows, it was right. In the place where I work now, everything is completely different. Much easier than before, emotionally. In addition, I had free time from work to help other people. And this is actually very interesting and not at all difficult. Additional motivation when you feel that you are bringing benefit to someone. Think about it, maybe you should decide to change something in your life. And then the desire and strength to live will appear.

Mikhail, age: 28/05/24/2017

Hello, Sasha. You wrote: “I want to write so much here, but it’s unlikely that it will help me in any way...” But I think that if a person has a need to express more than he says, this need must be satisfied. Perhaps it is in the unspoken words that you can understand something and find a way out of your difficult situation. I think we need to take advantage of this chance. I also realized that you have no one to talk to, try to see a psychologist, don’t isolate yourself. Happiness to you, Sasha, may a ray of light shine in your life.

Olga, age: 35 / 05/24/2017

Sasha, how come you didn’t think of seeing a doctor, a psychiatrist! It seems to me that you are suffering from depression, which means you need to treat it and recover. Your whole life is in front of you. The joy of life, the enjoyment of life will still be available to you.

Madame, age: 55 / 05/24/2017

Hello Sasha! Depression is a disease. And she needs to be treated. And it can be treated in different ways. It is imperative that you have a purpose and meaning in life. We can advise you to start your own family. According to my observations, people who get married cope with depression more easily. Or turn to God, become a Christian, this path has given many people joy and meaning in life. Or turn your attention to other people who really need help. It also gives you a desire to live when you understand that other people need you. And if all this does not suit you, then contact a psychologist or psychiatrist, it depends on the severity of your depression. But since you are in long-term depression, then you probably need to see a psychiatrist. But you have to live. We have to fight. We must win.

Arina, age: 27/05/24/2017

Dear! There is no need to be discouraged. It's difficult to advise. First of all, you are not alone. We are all living people and can lose motivation. There is a slight depression on the face. There is a positive. You are young, healthy, functioning normally - going to work, i.e. slight depression. You do not have the burden of incapacitated relatives, wife, children. This is positive, because hands are untied. For example, it’s easier for me to be lonely, and having a family is stressful. Come home from work and turn on not music, but some satirical speech, read something funny, for example. Visit your primary care physician. Find some hobby or passion. Lots of dating sites.

Kolobok, age: 47 / 05/24/2017

Hello. Sasha, it looks a lot like prolonged depression, so don’t put off visiting a psychotherapist. Take your vitamins, they will give you strength. And another piece of advice - fall in love! Start a family, every man needs care, guardianship, attention, feminine affection, and you are no exception. I think your mood will change, you can’t go against nature, as they say))) Good luck to you!

Irina, age: 29/05/24/2017

Dear Alexander, I would like to warn you that by freeing yourself from life in this way, you will not become free, since this is an unforgivable sin. Try to slowly figure out what’s wrong, try to figure out the meaning of a person’s suffering, why they are sent to him, maybe just if everything was fine, then you wouldn’t think about what you need, maybe it’s time to pay attention to what’s really important for each of us. This is to establish a relationship with God. Unfortunately, we people remember Him only when we feel bad. With the Lord in your heart, then death will be real freedom, but only when your time comes, when God decides so. And thoughts of suicide are being sent to you by the enemy of our salvation, drive them away! True freedom is in the Lord, because He is the Truth. I hope my message will help you, don’t give up, and then you will see how wonderful life is) I also had such a terrible state, I understand what you mean... but if you don’t give up, then everything will start to get better, look for the main thing this very Truth, get to know it... Take care of yourself. *** Life is beautiful in all its images: Speaking in everyday prose; In the descriptions of poets, figurative; In black clouds and in pink clouds... And she rushes - madly!.. Strikes with blows - crushingly! So that we forget to live sublimely... So that life is painful for all of us! I will make every effort, To touch eternity with my heart, To make life sparkle with its edges, Taking me into the world of infinity!

incognito, age: 26/05/24/2017

Sasha, there is always a reason for such a state: sometimes these are somatic reasons, sometimes it is an event for which you suppressed feelings, drove them inside yourself and it seems that you survived, but it comes out in the form of such an unwillingness to be. Maybe you do a lot of things that you don’t feel like doing. It’s good that you wrote here - this is at least some step to help yourself. When you can’t figure out the reasons, it’s best to consult a psychologist (not just anyone, by recommendation). It is clear that you have such a need. Normally, a person should be happy - this is his normal state. I wish you to find yourself again, the one who smiles when you wake up in the morning.

Anna, age: 36 / 05/24/2017

Great, why are you depressed? I read your letter and you can’t even imagine what a happy person you are. Let's break it down: 1. Your health is good 2. You have a job, you have income 3. You have family and friends 5. You are young, you can outshine everyone Here I have listed your main wealth. You're a grown guy, oddly enough, people have times when they want to die. So, I’ll tell you this is your life and only you can fix it, become happy. Stop becoming despondent, because despondency is also a human sin. Just get out of this state with the help of God and start living without looking back. What will help you is faith. You don’t need anyone to cry, all the strength and faith is already in you. Talk to God, because He is always with us. Ask for help, repent, start thanking and I’m sure changes will begin in a good direction. Everything is temporary, be patient and grateful, my brother. Happiness to you.

Just a guy, age: 23/05/24/2017

Hello Sasha! I'm very, very glad you posted here! And I’m glad that I saw it too and can write to you. The most important thing I want to ask you is to try, if you don’t accept it, then understand: either we control our thoughts, or they control us. When I accepted the second option, I felt about the same as you. Therefore, let me tell you WHAT NOT TO DO, so that you don’t get scared by your thoughts later. 1. Try not to listen to music while thinking about something. No matter how strange this advice may seem, it is very important. If you don’t go deep into medical terms, but to put it simply, then you are simply “twisting” yourself, cultivating a state in yourself that is then so difficult to recover from and so difficult to control. 2. No matter how pointless it may seem, do some things. In fact, this is also a good way to take a break from heavy thoughts. Moreover, when we understand that we are useful to someone (and you can help your parents), strength appears for other things that are useful to you directly - communication, walks, sports. 3. Communicate! Communicate!!Communicate!!! Treat communication as a cure for your condition: take (for now) twice a day))) That is, in the first half of the day you talked to someone, and in the second. 4. I could be wrong a thousand times, I’m sorry if that’s what you think, but such despondency can be due to a lack of understanding, acceptance, non-judgment, faith in the best in you, sincere support. Even one word can give all this, if it is from the heart and sincere - perhaps it’s worth looking for a psychologist, if not face-to-face, then at least on the Internet, you can find a free one. And you’re unlikely to go wrong if you talk to the priest - in any Orthodox church church (this is from personal experience, this moment in my recently hopeless life was key). 5. Watch videos about compassion. It’s so easy to google it - it’s difficult to explain what happens when you approach this topic, even passively. 6. Know about yourself that you are a good person. Know this firmly, and when doubting yourself: to do or not to do, say to yourself: “I will do as a good person would do.” 7. Don’t even doubt that this condition will pass! It is not necessary that all problems will suddenly disappear, but you will definitely be able and in the mood to solve them and at the same time enjoy life! Often only hormones are to blame for depression - so maybe this aspect is also worth thinking about? Hold on!!! Everything will definitely get better!

Natalia, age: 35 / 05/24/2017

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Instructions for overcoming sadness

I want to offer you unusual instructions that will help you cope with negative emotions. It is compiled on the basis of spiritual practices and has nothing to do with the advice of psychologists.

Step 1. Don't hide from emotions

When your soul becomes restless, it is very important to realize what is happening inside. It is not enough to simply understand. You just need to realize it. This means that you must understand and accept these emotions. Accept the fact that you feel bad and hard. But you shouldn’t think about why this is happening to you and what it’s all about.

Tell yourself: “This is how I feel! This is my pain, my sadness, my feelings and emotions.”

Step 2. Immerse yourself in sensations

Once you have fully accepted your emotions, immerse yourself in your state. Feel how your body reacts to the feelings you are experiencing. This is what is happening to you at the moment. And it doesn’t matter at all why this happened. What caused these emotions.

Cry if you want to cry. But don’t start feeling sorry for yourself or scolding yourself.

Step 3. Imagine that the mind is not you

The mind evaluates our actions and everything that happens around us: this is good, but this is bad. This happens automatically and unconsciously. A person is accustomed to believing that his mind is himself. And there are more than 7 billion such minds on our planet. And everyone gives their own subjective assessment.

At the same time, we become so accustomed to our assessment that we desperately suffer in situations that are essentially empty and worthless. The mind loves to exaggerate everything.

Now try to imagine your mind as something independent of you. Think about what he looks like? In the shape of a cloud or a soap bubble? Where is he located? On right? Left? Over you? Let your imagination run wild.

The most important thing is to feel that the mind is not part of you.

Step 4. Feel your condition again

Re-immerse yourself in your sensations. But now, as if from the outside, observe how the mind sends you thoughts. So he sent the idea that you shouldn’t have done that. But the thought is that you don’t know what to do next.

Notice all these thoughts coming from outside. But don't take the mind's assessments personally. You will see how thoughts are born on their own, filling your head. And the longer you watch them, the fewer they become. And the less often they come to mind.

On the site you will also find an article on how to get rid of negative thoughts.

Step 5. Observe emotions

Feel your emotions as sensations inside your body. Record the thoughts that your mind sends to you. Don't analyze them, don't take them personally, don't evaluate them. It's just a thought.

When the mind evaluates our negative emotions, they feel heavy and unpleasant. If you don’t evaluate them, they will be neutral.

You will see that it is no longer so uncomfortable to observe feelings. It's even getting interesting. Your mood will probably improve and a little joy will appear. But even in this case, do not evaluate the sensations that arise. Just watch them.

Resentment, sadness, and joy are just sensations inside you. They are no worse and no better than each other. It is your mind that gives them estimates. All sensations are neutral. And that means you shouldn’t have a hard time experiencing certain emotions.