What to do when you feel bad and want to cry - how to find a way out of the impasse

During the pandemic, home Internet has become the main tool of every specialist who has switched to remote work. The ability of such employees to perform professional tasks in a timely manner directly depends on how well the connection quality meets the parameters declared by the provider. Izvestia found out why the Internet does not always work as the provider promises, and how this can be corrected.

Despite the use of the most modern technologies by Russian home Internet providers, in practice the speed and quality of the connection do not always correspond to the parameters stated in the tariff. As an experiment, Izvestia tested the 500 Mbit/s tariff from MGTS in an ordinary Moscow apartment. From the same device during the day, the speed varied from 156 to 217 Mbit/s, and at a distance of 2 m from the router in line of sight - from 244 to 481 Mbit/s. At the time of contacting the technical service of the provider in the line of sight and with all other devices disconnected from the Wi-Fi network, the results showed 433, 360 and 392 Mbit/s with a difference of several minutes.

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What does mental pain “scream” about?

Bad mood, depression, despondency, sadness are emotions that have a right to exist. It is impossible to be positive all the time. When something hurts, we go to the doctor. Pain is a sign that there is some problem in the body. Treatment is necessary to prevent the disease from developing further.

The situation with the internal state is exactly the same. If you do not cope with the negative emotions that poison the soul in time, everything can end in severe depression, mental disorders and even suicide attempts. Heaviness in the soul may be a signal that it’s time to:

• rethink your goals and reconsider the current stage of life;
• make changes that you can’t decide to make and constantly put off;
• slow down the pace of work;
• take a break from the hassle and bustle;
• be more attentive to yourself, your feelings and experiences, without pushing them into the background;
• get rid of loneliness and find like-minded people.

If you recognize such signals in time and take measures to eliminate them, then your state of mind will improve quite quickly. Your mood will improve and life will sparkle with new colors.

You should sound the alarm when you notice the following signs:

1. Eternal depression. You are constantly in a bad mood. Nothing pleases me at all. You don’t even try to smile at others on duty.
2. Lost interest. What once made your eyes burn has now become bland and boring. Neither work, nor hobbies, nor hobbies arouse enthusiasm anymore. Moreover, you even avoid meeting with friends.
3. Prostration. You feel like your battery is completely drained. Even if you have gathered the last of your strength and started to work, you immediately stop it. You are unable to concentrate on completing tasks.
4. Deterioration in sleep quality, insomnia. At night, sadness and melancholy become even heavier. Anxious thoughts prevent you from falling asleep peacefully. And when you wake up in the morning, you feel as if you had been unloading wagons all night.
5. Indifference to one's appearance. Not only have you stopped visiting the hairdresser, but you even simply forget to wash your hair or brush your teeth. You put on the clothes that fall out of the closet first. You don't care at all about your appearance.
6. Lost desire to have sex. People who are in close relationships have lost the joy of sex. They stop taking initiative and are reluctant to agree to intimacy with a partner. They don’t even try to act out passion in bed.
7. Apathy. You are no longer interested in news from the lives of your friends. You don't care what you're wearing, what you look like, what you eat, etc.

All signs point to you being deeply depressed. And it's time to pull yourself out of it. The article “How to get out of depression” has a lot of useful tips on this topic.

Causes of sadness and how to deal with it

Before you fight sadness, you need to find out its cause. Let's look at some of the main causes of sadness, as well as ways to combat it. So, most often the soul becomes sad and lousy for the following reasons:

• loss (death of a loved one, divorce, separation);
• relationship problems;
• melancholy for no apparent reason.

Loss

Perhaps the most difficult test in life is to survive the death of a loved one. It is very painful, difficult and bitter to lose loved ones. But you have to get over it. Usually the first few days after the incident a person is in shock. He cannot fully comprehend what happened.

Then, a week after the tragedy, the person realizes that he has lost a close friend or relative forever. He is overcome by acute emotional and sometimes even physical pain. Over time it fades and becomes a little easier.

It is very difficult to advise anything in such a situation. Recommendations like - find yourself a new activity or look for new experiences - are meaningless. In a state of difficult experience, a person does not want to do absolutely anything. But you shouldn’t immerse yourself entirely in your grief. This will lead to deep depression and mental disorders.

The “black” longing for the departed person should turn into light sadness. This, of course, will require time and effort. First of all, remember those who stayed next to you. These people need you. Pay attention to them.

The pain of loss helps ease work and solving pressing matters. In order not to endlessly chase thoughts about the departed person in your head, immerse yourself in work or a hobby. By the way, when we grieve the loss of a loved one, we feel sorry for ourselves. We cannot imagine life without this person, and therefore we grieve. But we don’t know where he went. Perhaps he is better there than on earth.

Divorce or separation is much easier to cope with than the death of loved ones. Although at first it seems that life is over. It is difficult to imagine your bright future without familiar relationships.

In this case, you need to distract yourself from negative thoughts associated with divorce. If people disagree, it means they don’t like each other in some way. You will still meet a person with whom you will live in perfect harmony. And you will find happiness again.

But you understand perfectly well that sitting at home and mourning the past, you will not find love.

Keep meeting your friends. Add bright emotions and colors to your life. Update your wardrobe, go for a massage, go to the hairdresser, change your image. Gradually you will feel that you are ready for new acquaintances and relationships. Read about how to love yourself on the website.

Relationship problems

If in a relationship you are more often sad than happy, then you should think about ending it. Relationships shouldn't be painful. Discuss your experiences with your significant other. Were you able to find a compromise and solve the problem? Wonderful!

If nothing changes and you still continue to suffer, break this painful connection. Parting will be a difficult test, but in the future it will bring relief and the opportunity to meet true love.

Longing for no apparent reason

Sometimes it happens that everything seems to be fine in life. Everyone is alive and well. But for some reason it became sad and depressing. Although there is no objective reason for sadness, and you don’t understand why your soul feels so bad. Allow yourself to be a little sad and try to find the reason for the blues.

1. Think that you are doing well. You are healthy, your loved ones are also in good health. You don't have any serious problems. Thank fate for this. And you will immediately feel how you will feel better. Turn on your favorite music, read an interesting book. They will help you distract from unnecessary, unreasonable thoughts.
2. Perhaps you are simply tired from household chores or work. Give yourself a few days to fully relax. Take some time off from work and go on a short trip.
3. Gray and monotonous everyday life also spoils the mood. New experiences will help to disperse the melancholy caused by the daily routine. Do something you've never tried before. Provide yourself with new and unique emotions. Go to a concert, go hiking, dance, ski, go for a bike ride. There are a lot of options!
4. Sadness can also settle in the soul from loneliness. Even the most die-hard introvert needs a friend. Surely you have at least one friend whom you can invite to the cinema or for a walk. If not, try expanding your circle of acquaintances. Sign up for courses, register on the forum that interests you. There are a lot of people in the world. And somewhere your soul mate is wandering.

I recommend watching the following video when you feel sad again.

Where do speed problems come from?

The press service of MGTS told Izvestia that the connection speed may fluctuate throughout the day due to the number of subscribers simultaneously using the Internet. Traffic is shared between all devices simultaneously connected to the same network. At the same time, slow loading of data may be caused by restrictions on the part of those who provide access to it.

— In the tariff plan, the operator indicates the connection speed within its network. The Internet is a collection of different communication networks with different channel capacities, installed equipment and other factors, so an operator, for example, in Moscow, cannot influence the connection speed to a server installed in the USA or Japan. It may well be lower,” MGTS told Izvestia.

Executive Director of the United Telecommunications Corporation (UTC) Yaroslav Dubovikov confirmed that the concept of “speed measurement” itself is not always applicable to connection due to many factors. One of the most significant is the route of Internet traffic: the fewer intermediate nodes, the higher the speed.

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Photo: Global Look Press/Fabian Sommer

— The operator ensures speed up to a certain limit. It can guarantee speed only within its network. Outside the boundaries of its area of ​​responsibility, the operator cannot and should not guarantee connection speed. After all, it is important not only with what port capacity you are connected to the operator, but with what capacity the server from which you are requesting information is connected to your telecom operator, says Izvestia’s interlocutor.

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The fact is that most web resources set forced limits on the speed of one session, for example, no more than 2 Mbit/s. Therefore, even if the operator provides the client with a channel of 500 Mbit/s, downloading data from the web resource will still be limited to a speed of 2 Mbit/s.

Despite popular prejudice, weather conditions have little effect on the speed of a network connection, says telecommunications expert Vasily Trukhin. He notes that they can affect the operation of mobile Internet networks, but even there it is much more important how many clients one tower serves at the same time.

With home Internet networks, the situation is completely different, and here everything often depends on what equipment the client uses. Often people refuse routers that their provider offers them to install, preferring to use ones they have already purchased. But not all old devices are capable of operating at modern high speeds. Finally, the quality of the wireless connection may even depend on the placement of furniture and household appliances in the room.

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Photo: TASS/Vladimir Smirnov

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— The reason may be poorly compatible equipment that the client prefers to use instead of what the provider provided. Problems may also lie in the wireless equipment on the end device - a computer or phone, explains Vasily Trukhin. — Various interference may also occur in the room. If, for example, there is a refrigerator or other large metal objects between the user and the router, according to the laws of physics, they lead to signal loss.

Another quite obvious problem that Yaroslav Dubovikov draws attention to is the “cloggedness” of communication channels. Any frequency range has physical limitations, and when there are too many networks (often there are several of them at once, even in one apartment), the quality of each network individually deteriorates.

— The solution is to switch to another channel or another frequency. The 5 GHz range for Wi-Fi networks is becoming increasingly widespread: they, however, have a smaller coverage radius than 2.4 GHz, but there are not so many such networks - there is less interference in their operation, explains Izvestia’s interlocutor.

Psychologist's advice

Let's look at the main tips from psychologists to combat blues and sadness.

Determine the cause

We have already discussed the main reasons for bad mood. The mood drops due to troubles, failures, and misfortunes. However, not all. It all depends on how you yourself perceive the situation. Stress-tolerant people's mood deteriorates much less often than those who are completely unable to cope with their emotions.

And adrenaline, cortisol and other “stress hormones” are to blame. They are produced in large quantities in the body when a person experiences stress. It is these hormones that cause us anger, fear, uncertainty, shame, guilt and other negative emotions. To block the excessive production of these hormones, you need to learn to control yourself.

When you determine the cause of your sadness, leave it in the past. Move into the future without this unnecessary burden. Do not let such situations disturb your inner peace and harmony.

Let go of the past

If you feel bad because you feel guilty towards another person, ask him for forgiveness. Sincerely reveal your feelings and emotions to him. You can do it in person, or you can do it in a letter. Has he forgiven you? Amazing! You can breathe a sigh of relief and move on with your life easily. If not, then it is his choice to live with the burden of resentment.

Or, on the contrary, you were offended and the feeling of disappointment does not go away. Resentment is a very caustic emotion. It is imperative that you deal with it, even if the offender does not seek to ask for your forgiveness. First of all, stop dwelling on resentment. Fill your life with bright emotions and impressions, against the background of which your resentment will fade and disappear altogether.

Change the scenery

Even the smallest trip can lift your spirits. Sometimes, when your soul becomes sick, you just need to break out of your usual environment and city for a day or a week. Choose a place you've never been to. You don't have to fly abroad. Where you live, there are probably still places you haven’t explored.

Have you ever seen a sunrise in the mountains? It's magical! The calmness and tranquility of the mountains is conveyed to everyone who has ever climbed to the top. There, between heaven and earth, all those troubles that you allowed to spoil your mood begin to seem like something insignificant and small.

Visit a psychotherapist

If sadness still won’t let you go and you no longer know what to do, seek help from a psychotherapist. It will help you:

• to know yourself;
• find out your true desires;
• determine goals in life;
• find a path that will help you realize yourself;
• identify the root cause of your problems;
• overcome fears;
• learn to express emotions and communicate with people.

After all, often we just need to talk it out so that the sadness goes away. If you have absolutely no one to talk to, go to a psychotherapist.

Instructions for overcoming sadness

I want to offer you unusual instructions that will help you cope with negative emotions. It is compiled on the basis of spiritual practices and has nothing to do with the advice of psychologists.

Step 1. Don't hide from emotions

When your soul becomes restless, it is very important to realize what is happening inside. It is not enough to simply understand. You just need to realize it. This means that you must understand and accept these emotions. Accept the fact that you feel bad and hard. But you shouldn’t think about why this is happening to you and what it’s all about.

Tell yourself: “This is how I feel! This is my pain, my sadness, my feelings and emotions.”

Step 2. Immerse yourself in sensations

Once you have fully accepted your emotions, immerse yourself in your state. Feel how your body reacts to the feelings you are experiencing. This is what is happening to you at the moment. And it doesn’t matter at all why this happened. What caused these emotions.

Cry if you want to cry. But don’t start feeling sorry for yourself or scolding yourself.

Step 3. Imagine that the mind is not you

The mind evaluates our actions and everything that happens around us: this is good, but this is bad. This happens automatically and unconsciously. A person is accustomed to believing that his mind is himself. And there are more than 7 billion such minds on our planet. And everyone gives their own subjective assessment.

At the same time, we become so accustomed to our assessment that we desperately suffer in situations that are essentially empty and worthless. The mind loves to exaggerate everything.

Now try to imagine your mind as something independent of you. Think about what he looks like? In the shape of a cloud or a soap bubble? Where is he located? On right? Left? Over you? Let your imagination run wild.

The most important thing is to feel that the mind is not part of you.

Step 4. Feel your condition again

Re-immerse yourself in your sensations. But now, as if from the outside, observe how the mind sends you thoughts. So he sent the idea that you shouldn’t have done that. But the thought is that you don’t know what to do next.

Notice all these thoughts coming from outside. But don't take the mind's assessments personally. You will see how thoughts are born on their own, filling your head. And the longer you watch them, the fewer they become. And the less often they come to mind.

On the site you will also find an article on how to get rid of negative thoughts.

Step 5. Observe emotions

Feel your emotions as sensations inside your body. Record the thoughts that your mind sends to you. Don't analyze them, don't take them personally, don't evaluate them. It's just a thought.

When the mind evaluates our negative emotions, they feel heavy and unpleasant. If you don’t evaluate them, they will be neutral.

You will see that it is no longer so uncomfortable to observe feelings. It's even getting interesting. Your mood will probably improve and a little joy will appear. But even in this case, do not evaluate the sensations that arise. Just watch them.

Resentment, sadness, and joy are just sensations inside you. They are no worse and no better than each other. It is your mind that gives them estimates. All sensations are neutral. And that means you shouldn’t have a hard time experiencing certain emotions.

Why is it bad? The real reasons for bad mood

If you feel like you're feeling bad just because you had an argument with your boss this morning or because the deadline to pay one of your bills is tomorrow, it's time to think about the real reasons for your bad mood.

Happiness can be defined as the absence of negative emotions, and while recent events like the ones mentioned above may dampen your mood, there are still many long-term factors influencing your mood at the moment, even if you are not aware of it.

In other words, there are known reasons why a person feels bad, and there are aspects that have a similar effect that we are not even aware of.