Consultation with an educational psychologist “Children’s tantrums. How to deal with them"

The reason may be an excessive load on the nervous system, which is simply not able to process everything. It is important that a person has someone to share his problem of gender independence with. Health should come first!

For some, loud screaming or crying helps, for others, long walks or sleep. If after this the patient begins to feel better, then full treatment is not required. If your health only worsens, this indicates that you need to see a doctor to solve psychological problems. The advice to you from experts is to undergo a course of treatment at the center.

Causes of a nervous breakdown

A breakdown is a defensive reaction to the fact that a person is overloaded and needs emergency help due to an external factor. A doctor should consult; the syndrome is increasingly being called acute.

The reasons are stress that regularly affects our organs or short-term shock.

Everyone falls into one group or another. People are often prone to:

• are constantly being thinned out for events that have happened to them or are about to happen in the future;
• increased desire to work;
• cannot improve relationships in the family or at work;
• with low self-esteem;
• cancer patients;
• those who are facing serious changes;
• young parents who just had children;
• experienced the loss of a loved one;
• failures in personal relationships or relationships with parents;
• lack of money for a normal existence;
• job loss;
• responsibility that cannot be handled;
• anxiety.

A breakdown begins due to negative events, but problems can begin after major events - a wedding, a move, a new job, the birth of a first child.

Men have varying degrees of stress resistance. It’s easy for one to survive life’s problems, while the other is overwhelmed by their appearance and begins to show aggression.

Causes

The main reason for hysteria is a clash of interests between the child and parents. With age, he develops personal preferences and desires that diverge from the requirements of adults. If you fail to achieve your goal, hysteria begins. There are several typical situations that provoke this condition. They can be caused by psychological and physiological factors.

Psychological on the part of the child:

• lack of opportunity to verbally express dissatisfaction (when one cannot yet speak);
• attracting attention that is not enough;
• an irresistible desire to achieve something;
• expression of protest;
• stubbornness;
• imitation of peers or adults;
• psychotrauma;
• weak, unbalanced type of nervous system.

Psychological from adults (parents, relatives, educators, teachers):

• overprotection, excessive severity;
• incorrect system of punishments and rewards or its absence;
• interruption of a favorite activity;
• violation of personal space;
• mistakes in education.

Physiological:

• lack of sleep;
• overwork, excessive physical or emotional stress;
• hunger;
• diseases of the nervous system;
• illness or rehabilitation period after illness.

To wean a child from hysterics, you must first understand the reasons that drive him. If these are ordinary whims (I want this, buy that), you can deal with them quickly and easily. If the education system is to blame, it needs to be reviewed and radically changed, otherwise there will be no progress. It will be much more difficult and longer to work if psychosomatics or health problems are to blame. In this case, a course of treatment from a neurologist or psychotherapist is inevitable.

Signs and symptoms of a nervous breakdown

Symptoms and signs of a nervous breakdown, depending on the type of disorder, have common symptoms that are characteristic of the types of breakdowns. Among the consequences:

1. lack of appetite, sleep, energy;
2. constant irritability, anxiety, nervousness;
3. the appearance of negative thoughts;
4. fear of tomorrow;
5. change in performance;
6. constant desire to sleep;
7. poor concentration;
8. memory problems;
9. negative thoughts;
10. manifestation of apathy;
11. headache;
12. pressure;
13. changes in mood, anxiety;
14. panic attacks, fatigue;
15. problems with the cardiovascular system;
16. phobias.

A person’s behavior changes greatly, but the disease affects all organs. The disease is accompanied by symptoms: headache, shortness of breath, heart problems, poor appetite, blood pressure fluctuations, and mental changes. It is advisable to contact a psychologist.

Diagnosis of nervous breakdowns

Development occurs at the moment when the patient is simply no longer able to bear the load. The psyche simply becomes uncomfortable working in the same conditions; it asks for possible methods of help. And a person tolerates everything that happens to him, although the state has already reached its peak. Emotions are overwhelming, anything can be expected at any moment. Explosions occur, although everything could be fine for many years. But a critical moment has begun, everything needs to be corrected so that your organs no longer experience this feeling.

It’s all because of the reason that was the beginning of the occurrence. The tank was filling very slowly, but surely, and at one point it simply exploded from overfilling and would not be able to work.

There are two models of behavior in a difficult situation:

• Explode for any reason. At the same time, the patient splashes out his emotions and shows indignation. Strong scandals and conflict situations are characteristic of this type and the reasons for divorce.
• Accumulate all the grievances in yourself, like in a big vessel. He endures all insults until the last moment. Apathy towards everything, a depressive state, and a reluctance to communicate with anyone may begin. A mental problem begins to appear, if of course it was not there before.

But how can we avoid the danger of overfilling that same vessel and cope with the consequences? You can avoid this by becoming aware of your feelings, emotions, experiencing and accepting them.

Clinical picture

The main feature of the behavior of adolescents suffering from hysteria is demonstrativeness and the desire to attract the attention of others in any way. As a rule, they try to achieve what they want with the help of:

• provocative, bright, extravagant clothing, attempts to change appearance (piercings, tattoos, although temporary, parents usually do not give consent to permanent ones);
• stories about rich relatives, close acquaintance with some influential people, the opportunity to “solve” problems, although in fact this is nothing more than a fantasy;
• simulated gestures, facial expressions, and gait, often seen in movies;
• pretentious, mannered speech.

Another characteristic feature is lying. Moreover, unlike psychopathy, when a person lies, trying to achieve a certain benefit for himself, in this case the patient begins to confuse reality with fantasy. His ideas about the world around him are drawn from books, films, videos or photos from the Internet.

Often, a child chooses the easiest way, as it seems to him, to be the center of attention - making up fictitious complaints about his well-being. Gradually, the teenager himself begins to believe in his illness. He carefully listens to his inner feelings, searches (and usually finds) his symptoms on the Internet and “tailors” them to some severe, incurable pathology.

Symptoms of a hysteria attack

An aggravation can begin for any reason, even the most insignificant (for example, a quarrel with parents, friends, a conflict with a teacher, a bad grade). The main symptoms of an attack are:

• cardiopalmus;
• increased blood pressure;
• redness of the skin of the face, whites of the eyes due to burst blood vessels;
• shortness of breath, feeling of being unable to take a breath, lack of air;
• crying, which can give way to laughter at any moment;
• demonstrative tearing of one's clothes;
• breaking dishes, furniture and interior items.

A teenager can roll on the floor and try to injure himself, but unlike seizures in other mental disorders, an attack of hysteria is not accompanied by a disturbance of consciousness. The child can control himself; the injuries he inflicts on himself do not pose a serious threat. The seizure ends either when the patient achieves what he wants, or when there are no “spectators”.

In a hospital or at home?

It is easier to prevent a breakdown than to treat it. During a breakdown, not everyone knows how to calm a person down. Just a few years ago, to calm the patient, they poured a bucket of cold water on him, if, of course, there was cold water nearby. If this does not help, you need to contact an ambulance.

Screaming will not help; a person is not able to control his actions. A raised voice can only make things worse, which should not be allowed.

Everyone decides for themselves where it is better to treat the disease - in a hospital or at home. If, for example, the breakdown was caused by the situation in the family, then it would be logical to send the patient to the hospital. The psyche may simply not cope if this happens again.

In other situations, having relatives nearby can have a positive effect on the patient’s well-being. Any drug is prescribed after a comprehensive examination. The patient must be under the supervision of a doctor; many drugs can be addictive. After treatment, it takes another month to recover.

But vice versa, it is better to treat a nervous breakdown at home in women and men. We need to understand what led to this state. If, for example, constant tension arises at work, you need to take a vacation or quit altogether, there is nothing more valuable than health. If the cause is overwork, you need to build a more gentle schedule for yourself, which will include 8 hours of sleep, a walk in the fresh air during the day, and proper nutrition.

When treating at home, you need to consult with a therapist to draw up an action plan. Treatment within the walls of the home is aimed at relaxation and distracting the patient from the problem. The method is safe for life and health.

Tantrums in teenagers

19.04.2019

Tantrums in teenagers

Tantrums are common among teenagers.
And most often, parents, seeing that their child is screaming, choking on tears or throwing things around, simply do not know what to do. How can you calm a teenager who is hysterical? Entering puberty is a difficult time for both a teenager and his family. The “hormonal explosions” that occur in a child’s body greatly affect his mental health: the teenager becomes more susceptible to reproaches and criticism. In addition, at this time, the main thing for a teenager is not his parents, but his peers. Therefore, a discrepancy between the two “poles” of life (the demands of parents and the assessments of peers) can lead to a “break in the pattern” in a boy or girl aged 13 to 17 years. A teenager tries to assert himself, to prove that he is already an adult and knows what will be better for him... One of these ways of self-affirmation is teenage tantrums. Why do they arise? Most often, it is due to the fact that parents limit their child in some way. This could be deprivation of outings with friends or a computer for poor academic performance or behavior. Moreover, sometimes parents notify the teenager about the punishment in a harsh form, regardless of his opinion. The result is an explosion of misunderstanding and subsequent hysteria. Hysterics in teenagers can also be a way of manipulation. If at 3 years old a child got everything he wanted by shouting and stomping his feet at his parents, he will use the same strategy in achieving his goal when he gets older...

And of course, hormonal attacks, which greatly affect the emotional state of a teenager, can cause tears and screams literally “out of the blue.” This happens more often in girls. Teenagers may cry and worry about their “ugliness” and lack of success among friends. All of these are the main reasons for mood swings in children of adolescence. “A teenager has a tantrum: what to do? “This question is often asked by parents to psychologists. Parents, seeing their son or daughter sobbing, screaming and hitting the wall with their fists, are lost, do not know how to approach the child correctly and what to say. Therefore, they turn to psychologists or psychiatrists, believing that the teenager has disturbances in the functioning of the nervous system. And some people prefer slaps and screams as a “sedative”...

Such methods will in no way help the teenager calm down, but will only “wind up” him even more. What to do then? Here are some tips on how to stop a teenager's tantrum quickly and painlessly. It is best, of course, not to lead to a hysterical state. But since this failed, it’s not so difficult to calm down the hysteria...

What types of tantrums are there?

• Hysteria as self-affirmation. Your recently calm and easy-going child suddenly gains new authority. Yesterday your will was decisive, and your word was the last. But now the teenager has other advisers who also know “how to live.” This “break of the pattern” leads to such emotional explosions that until now you could not even dream of in a nightmare.
• Hysteria as manipulation. It is quite possible that from a very tender age the following was written into the child’s subcortex: if you sob and stomp your feet properly, you can get everything. And during puberty, you want a lot, much more than before - from a “sophisticated” device to permission to hang out until the morning at a disco. So why not apply a strategy that was once proven?
• Hysteria as a message to the world. A teenager learns to think abstractly, but with this skill comes increased emotionality and what experts call social anxiety. A teenager constantly thinks about how he looks in the eyes of other people, especially his peers; any, even the most insignificant criticism, hurts him like an arrow. At the same time, he reflects that “I am the center of the universe, but this universe is no good!” All this turmoil in the head cannot but lead to violent outbursts of emotions.

During puberty, hormonal levels undergo global changes. In particular, it stimulates the production of oxytocin, which is often called the “bonding hormone,” but oxytocin has also been associated with a sense of self-awareness. It is this hormone that is “to blame” for the fact that a teenager has the feeling that everyone around him is looking at him under a microscope. These unpleasant sensations usually reach their peak by the age of 15. It is important!

What to do? You need to speak to your child in a calm and even voice, without screaming. If a teenager becomes hysterical and aggressive and throws fists at his father or mother, you need to move away to a safe distance or take his hands. You can shake your son or daughter slightly to sober them up, or offer to “throw out” your aggression by hitting a pillow. If a teenager cries a lot, but does not protest against physical contact, you should gently hug him by the shoulders. There is no need to suppress his tears, let him cry, shout out. Sobbing is an absolutely normal reaction in both boys and girls. If your teenager breaks away from the hug, you can leave him alone for a few minutes. Later, exhausted by hysteria, he will gladly accept hugs and strokes. Be sure to talk to the teenager, talk through all the emotions that he feels: pain, fear, anger. By understanding the emotion that caused the hysteria, the child will be able to calm down faster.

Of course, it can be difficult for parents, exhausted by the antics of their beloved child, to look at the situation from the outside. And yet, sometimes this is urgently necessary - if only to make sure that nothing out of the ordinary is happening in your family.

Oddly enough, being a teenager who “spits fire” has its advantages. And the most important thing is that your child continues to be frank with you and is not afraid to show his weaknesses to mom and dad. This means that dialogue is possible, trust has not been lost. In addition, you are still a support for him, perhaps precisely the last resort to which they unconsciously resort to help in moments of special mental turmoil. And only in your power to give useful advice in a timely manner, provide moral support and unobtrusively demonstrate your love.

In addition, teenage “freaks” indicate that a normal process of growing up is underway, without which the formation of personality is impossible. After all, remember yourself at the same age: surely you, too, were not a “sweet carrot” for your own mom and dad?

Psychologists warn: “Your teenager is watching you.” If you yourself show common sense in difficult life situations, do not lose your head under stress, and know how to firmly but politely convey your position to your interlocutor, it means that your child will quite easily adopt this model of behavior from you. It’s only a matter of time, but in the meantime, try to remain calm, no matter how much the teenager “harasss” you.

Here are some more important tips

that will help you establish contact with your child and cope with his hysterics.
1. Under no circumstances react with abuse or shouting or shouting.
Even in the case of an acute conflict, you need to communicate with your child in an even voice. 2. If your child is crying, let him cry it out. If he doesn't protest physical contact, give him a gentle hug. Leave all conversations for later.

3. Cases when a teenager tries to raise a hand against you are very individual: perhaps, for your own safety, it is better for you to immediately “evacuate”. If there is no real aggression, try shaking the child slightly to bring him to his senses. The key word is slightly.

4. It is believed that a tantrum can be stopped with a couple of slaps in the face. This is not the best option - instead, press on the sensitive point at the base of your thumb and index finger.

5. Offer to take out your anger by hitting a pillow or punching bag. The method is old, but it works. You can also tear up a stack of old magazines.

6. If there is a prolonged hysteria, leave the teenager alone for a while. It is quite possible that after this he will open a dialogue.

7. When the passions subside, pet the child, hug, kiss him - just like in childhood. “Hugs” help restore peace of mind not only for children, but also for adults.

8. Go to a constructive dialogue - talk to your child about his problems, try to find the right solution together. And don't remind me of what just happened.

9. For the future: Teenagers need at least 9-10 hours of sleep, just like kids, but, of course, teenagers rarely stick to this schedule. And in vain - lack of sleep aggravates nervousness.

Consequences

The emotional state has a direct connection with the physical state. If a nervous breakdown has been detected, symptoms begin to appear: problems with the heart, problems with the digestive system, dizziness. A breakdown may begin in a patient who has attempted to commit suicide.

If the problem is not diagnosed, it begins to accumulate like a snow globe. The patient begins to have communication problems, becomes more hot-tempered, irritable, and his psychological state worsens.

A breakdown leads to drug addiction or taking excessive amounts of alcohol, and promiscuous sexual relations. The search begins for a method of discharge, getting rid of all the negativity that has accumulated in the form of an internal factor. It is necessary to get help from a psychotherapist in time.

How to treat attacks of aggression in children?

This requires complex work, not only psychiatric work, but also a complete change in the behavior of parents. Psychotherapy will lead to significant results only if it is combined with the competent behavior of the people around you.

If aggression is caused by the child’s internal conflicts, relationships in the family, or the environment, then the main method of treatment here will be psychotherapy, which has age-specific characteristics and is carried out in the form of games, fairy tales and other activities that the child understands.

If the child’s aggressive behavior is based on physiological reasons, then the work of a psychotherapist will be combined with drug treatment, as well as correction of the underlying condition or disease, if it is correctable. Physiotherapeutic methods are also used at the ROSA clinic.

Specifics of treatment

Nervous breakdowns do not appear out of nowhere. This is a long-term disease that has not been treated for years, or prolonged stress that the patient has experienced. To get rid of an ordinary nervous breakdown, you need to reconsider your life, get rid of the cause - treat the underlying disease, limit your communication with those who bring you to such a state.

This lengthy process can take a month or even more. There are medications that will help the patient during periods of treatment. Those who are treated at home without a doctor’s prescription cannot even imagine the harm they are causing to their body.

The disorder appears for various reasons; the treatment of a nervous breakdown, especially in women, must be approached in a comprehensive manner.

Causes of neuroses in children

Currently, it is difficult to identify specific causes of the development of childhood neuroses. Most often, the pathological process occurs against the background of the complex influence of various factors:

• socio-psychological: frequent conflicts in the family, atypical family roles for parents, lack of communication with peers, etc.;
• socio-cultural: bullying in a team, excessively stressful rhythm of life, etc.;
• socio-economic: unsatisfactory living conditions, absence of a second parent, early start of kindergarten;
• biological: hereditary characteristics of the psyche, birth trauma, smoking or drinking alcohol by the expectant mother during pregnancy, illness of the mother during pregnancy, cerebral palsy, etc.;
• exhaustion of the nervous system: constant nervous overload, too many clubs and tutors, lack of sleep, etc.

Non-drug ways to deal with a nervous breakdown

• Sports activities. Sports exercises will help you calm down and recharge yourself with positivity. This method has not harmed more than one patient. Sport improves heart function, brain function, and sleep.
• Relaxation programs: meditation, yoga, body massage. Relieve tension, relax the body, get rid of negative thoughts. Do it at least 2 times a week.
• Maintaining a healthy lifestyle. No matter how strange it may sound, it helps. Alcohol, drugs, coffee - all this affects the nervous system.
• Proper nutrition, essential vitamins.

General information

The concept of “neuroses” includes various disorders of the central and autonomic nervous system that arise under the influence of acute or chronic stress. Higher centers of nervous activity regulate all functions: breathing, heartbeat, digestion, emotions, excretory and sexual activity. Accordingly, violations can occur in all systems.

The clinical picture of neuroses in children and adolescents is varied and includes emotional and physical disorders. The diagnosis is established after excluding similar diseases of the internal organs and examining the structure and functions of the nervous system.

Neurosis differs from an organic (irreversible) disease in the absence of a morphological substrate for the disease. That is, during a laboratory or instrumental examination, no changes are detected, but clinical manifestations (pain, discomfort) occur. The prevalence of neuroses is very high, reaching 25% of all diseases.

With the help of drugs and medicines

1. Medicine offers drugs with sedative effects. Dizziness and heart problems can be treated with medication. These are not pills that will cure your relapse, but they will make you feel much better. Medicinal use is one of the most effective.
2. Preparations based on plant extracts have a calming component.
3. Vitamins. When you are stressed, you especially need to enrich yourself with vitamins such as group B, vitamin E, magnesium, calcium, so that depletion does not occur.
4. Biologically active additives. They contain extracts of soothing plants.
5. Antidepressants. Strong drugs that should never be used without a prescription. They have many side effects, so they are prescribed in emergency situations.

Restoration of the nervous system after a long course of treatment

In order to consolidate the therapeutic effect, you need to completely reconsider your lifestyle. Particular attention should be paid to nutrition, making sure that the diet contains plenty of fruits, fiber and carbohydrates. In addition, take vitamins regularly after consulting your doctor. Pay attention to reducing the amount of coffee and tea you drink, replacing it with juice. Eliminate bad habits from your life. If a person plays sports every day, then his health will be much better. If possible, go on vacation.

How to protect yourself from breakdown

The most important thing is to correctly identify the disease and begin treatment for the breakdown from any side. Unfortunately, many people accept the appearance of irritability, insomnia, bad mood and a number of other factors as a phenomenon with which absolutely everyone lives. Therefore, you should not contact a neurologist. But that's not true! It is important for your loved ones to be there at this moment when it is difficult to survive everything! Experts require that treatment be started as early as possible.

Stress is not a normal condition and must be treated! Don’t be afraid to disturb the doctor with your trivial questions - sleep disorders, mental disorders, tearfulness, forgetfulness, memory impairment, dizziness, and more. These are all points that can be resolved at the formation stage. But if you do not pay attention to them, then you can wait for clinical depression, which can only be gotten rid of with the strongest drugs, the use of certain tranquilizers.

How to respond to your baby's tantrums?

So, how should you behave with a child who is in a state of hysterics? First of all, we need to understand what exactly we want to achieve: to stop the “shameful” behavior as quickly as possible (that is, to achieve an immediate effect), or is the long-term perspective important? Of course, the second one. Adults (parents and other loved ones) must teach the baby to understand his emotions, express them constructively, follow the rules, and cope with difficulties. This cannot be achieved by responding to a tantrum with punishment, ignoring, or simply distracting attention. Here are the basic rules, following which you can stop hysterics and maintain a trusting relationship with your baby:

1. As soon as you notice that the child begins to cry, let him know that you hear him. You don’t need to immediately enter into dialogue with him, just turn in his direction.
2. To make the baby feel that you accept his feelings and can share them with him, approach the child and get down to his level.
3. Analyze the situation and tell your baby his emotion: “you’re angry,” “you’re very upset,” “you’re sad,” and so on. At this moment, most likely, the child will somehow respond to your words, he will begin to gradually become aware of his emotions. You can tell him about a situation when you yourself experienced a similar emotion.

Hysteria develops in waves: first, anger and rage arise sharply, then, having reached their peak, they are replaced by sadness and despair, after which the emotions gradually subside.

1. Try to find out the reason why the child became hysterical. Maybe something didn’t work out for him, or he really wants to buy some kind of toy, or he didn’t expect anything and got scared. There can be many reasons. If the baby can talk, you can ask him about it directly. If the baby doesn’t speak yet, ask him to show him what he wants, and also show him the possible options yourself. The child will begin to interact with you and break out of the vicious circle of uncontrollable emotional reactions. It is very important not to evaluate or criticize what the baby tells or shows you, but simply listen to him carefully.
2. When the child speaks out and you understand the reason for his worries, calmly tell him your position on this matter. The opinions and capabilities of adults do not always coincide with the requirements of children, so you should not be afraid to say “no” to the baby. Speak calmly and confidently, clearly justifying your position in a language that the child can understand.
3. If your child receives a refusal, try to end on a positive note and redirect his attention to something interesting. With preschool children, you can dream together or make immediate plans.