What is frustration in psychology? This is a psycho-emotional state caused by a discrepancy between a person’s desires and his current capabilities. Failure to make a dream come true causes acute disappointment, irritation, anger and despair. Frustration is typical for perfectionists and emotionally sensitive people.
Frustration - what is it?
The term “frustratio” is translated from Latin as “deception”, “vain expectation”, “failure”. Frustration is an emotional state expressed by dissatisfaction, disappointment and bitterness. It is caused by difficulties in achieving one or another goal, the inability to make a desire come true.
There are the following types of frustration:
- Biological: occurs when capabilities are limited by biological factors, as well as diseases that cause a frustrated state.
- Mental: barriers placed in the human psyche prevent one from achieving desire. The group includes fear, stress, uncertainty, and psychological pathologies.
- Sociocultural: restrictions on the fulfillment of desires are imposed by norms, rules and obligations within society. The group is divided into 2 large subgroups: social and cultural type of frustration from the outside.
- Material: formed when there is a lack of funds and material goods necessary to make a dream come true.
In turn, these types of frustration are divided into small subgroups. Thus, the mental group includes widespread love frustration, and social frustration includes sexual and existential dissatisfaction, the desire for independence in adolescents.
What can long-term frustration lead to?
When some feeling, positive or negative, lasts for a long time, for example, several months, then this is already a pathology. Frustration, like other states, must quickly replace each other. Normally, a person can feel frustration, then see a funny picture on the Internet, and his frustration will change to something else, and so on. If this does not happen, and the feeling of frustration is not replaced by anything, but is fixed and looped, this can lead to the development of depression.
Who is susceptible to frustration?
A frustrated state occurs when there is an acute need to achieve success, combined with increased emotionality. Risk groups include:
- Perfectionists with an inflated level of responsibility.
- Melancholic, deeply vulnerable personality types.
- Children and adolescents with “excellent student syndrome.”
- Impatient people with weak willpower.
- Self-centered individuals with high self-esteem.
- Disabled people, people with disabilities.
- People from disadvantaged families, with low income.
Frustration also often occurs in people prone to mental illness: depression, neuroses and psychoses, and various mental disorders.
Prevention of love addiction
As mentioned above, the roots of addiction often grow from childhood. Therefore, it is very important for parents to be able to build correct and trusting relationships with their children. Lack of attention at the age of 2-4 years can be especially detrimental to future relationships, so at this time it is extremely important to give the child security, care and love.
It is important to conduct educational conversations with teenagers. Their unstable psyche has a hard time experiencing outbursts of love and attraction, and the wrong foundation for relationships can be set by films and literature, in which unrequited love is often presented as the norm, and the suffering and sacrifices of the heroes are considered almost heroic deeds. It is necessary to explain that it is normal when a relationship brings joy to both, and both partners act as equal and equal participants.
The more self-sufficient and versatile a person is, the less susceptible he is to addiction. Spend time on self-development, expand your range of interests, communicate with different people, not only in the context of work and family. There is no need to turn love into the only goal and component of your life, or sacrifice for it:
- your hobbies and plans;
- meeting friends and family;
- time for sports, beauty;
- mental and physical health.
You should not consider every relationship as the only one for life. Yes, some are lucky enough to meet the love of their life in kindergarten, but this is rather an exception to the rule. Take calmly the fact that people separate, sometimes even after marriage and years lived together and children born . And most importantly, remember that healthy love is when it’s good, not when it’s bad.
The mechanism of occurrence of the emotional state
Frustration is formed in 3 main stages:
- Setting a goal. A person decides to make this or that desire come true, sets the necessary bar, thinks through the methods and timing of achieving the goal.
- Striving to achieve a goal. A person makes efforts, tries to achieve the intended results, investing effort, time or money into it.
- Failure. Despite the efforts made, achieving the goal becomes impossible. The person becomes disappointed, angry, and plunges into a frustrated state.
Further behavior depends on the person’s character and the degree of his indignation.
Main symptoms of love addiction
If in the case of alcohol or psychotropic substances there are clearly defined symptoms that cannot be confused with anything, then the main reason for problems with addiction to harmful relationships lies in the fact that it is very difficult for a person to admit his illness. After all, such manifestations may well be signs of falling in love:
- severe melancholy at moments of parting with a loved one;
- the desire to constantly see him, touch him, take care of him;
- willingness to make concessions;
- reconsidering your interests in accordance with the interests of your partner.
However, it is important to feel and not cross the line that turns guardianship into overprotection, melancholy into persecution, and compromise into complete submission to the partner. Characteristic signs of addiction: a sense of possessiveness, constant, often causeless jealousy, readiness to adapt to plans at any moment, mood, desires of a partner, lack of personal independence, pathological fear of abandonment. A dependent person experiences strong emotional discomfort during separation from the object of his adoration, and also focuses on all the interests and social circle around him, waiting for a constant response to his actions and approval.
How to get rid of frustration
The feeling of frustration can be overcome with psychotherapeutic techniques and auxiliary treatment methods: breathing exercises, yoga, dancing. In severe forms of pathology, antidepressants, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, sedatives and tranquilizers are used.
Medications
Drug treatment is used for biological factors of frustration and mental illness. Antipsychotics, tranquilizers and sedatives are also indicated for increased patient aggressiveness.
| Drug groups | Effect on duality | Examples of funds |
| Normotimics | They help cope with sudden mood swings, with transitions from aggression to an apathetic state. | Valpromide, Carbamazelide |
| Antipsychotic drugs | Relieves increased aggression, tension, and panic attacks. Improves concentration. | Haloperidol, Quetiapine, Clozapine |
| Sedatives | Relaxes the nervous system, copes with aggressive, stressful, panic, and anxiety states. | Valerian, Persen, Novo-passit |
| Tranquilizers | Relieves tension and stress, relieves anxiety, aggression, panic and insomnia. | Phenazepam, Hydroxyzine |
| Antidepressants | They regulate the amount of neurotransmitters, cope with depression that provokes frustration or arises as a result of disappointment. | Melipramine, Trizadone, Fluoxetine |
| Nootropics | They increase the level of blood supply and oxygen in the brain, improve memory and intellectual abilities. | Picamilon, Nootropil, Glycine |
| Sleeping pills | Eliminate sleep pathologies: increased sensitivity, night awakenings, insomnia. | Donormil, Andante, Melaxen |
| B vitamins | They improve the functioning of the nervous system, help cope with stress and depression, and neuroses. | Neurobion, Milgamma |
Psychotherapy
Correction of the frustrated state is carried out by general and clinical psychologists, psychotherapists, and psychiatrists.
Psychotherapeutic methods for getting out of frustration include:
- Rosenzweig's drawing frustration technique;
- art therapy sessions;
- individual consultations;
- problem-oriented trainings;
- group sessions with frustrated people.
Most specialists combine these methods with each other.
Helper Methods
Additional ways to cope with frustration include:
- breathing exercises;
- yoga exercises;
- aromatherapy;
- massage and self-massage;
- creative hobbies;
- listening to calm music.
These methods effectively calm the nervous system, relieve stress, and help cope with aggression and disappointment.
Basic methods of treating love addiction
In advanced situations, only systematic work with a psychotherapist will help, who will select an individual course of treatment in accordance with the patient’s condition. This could be hypnosis or psychoanalysis, therapeutic conversations. There are also practices that help get rid of addiction in the initial stages, as well as facilitate separation from a partner, relationships with whom bring discomfort.
Logical and sober analysis
If a relationship brings negativity and forces you to constantly make concessions, to be in a tense, anxious state, throw away the romantic flair and think about whether it’s worth it? You can write down the positive and negative aspects of such a love affair in separate columns; as a rule, there will be more bad ones. Soberly assess the situation and answer yourself honestly, are you ready to live like this for the rest of your life?
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Out of sight, out of mind
After breaking up, change the environment, try not to intersect with the object of your love, get rid of everything that reminds you of him, from photographs to symbolic things. This is a radical, but quite effective method. However, remember, without dealing with your internal problems, you risk getting into a similar situation in your next relationship.
Destroy the illusion of the ideal and your shortcomings
Often addiction is formed due to the idealization of one’s partner. Then it is enough to destroy this illusion. Think about what exactly makes you perceive him so enthusiastically and turn these traits into shortcomings. For example, if a guy knows how to handle money and has accumulated good capital, this can be regarded as innate stinginess. And a beautiful girl with a chiseled figure can always be perceived as a self-centered person, focused only on herself.
If the reason lies in your own insecurity, do the same work on yourself, only in reverse. Deficiencies in appearance can be compensated for by good character, and lack of wealth can be compensated by generosity and responsiveness. Look for the positive aspects of yourself and focus on them. Sports, hobbies and new knowledge also greatly improve self-esteem.
Sublimation
According to Sigmund Freud's method, your addiction needs to be redirected to other activities. If your negative emotions usually result in quarrels, aggression, depression, direct them in a positive direction. Engage in creativity, handicrafts, and physical labor. This will distract you from obsessive thoughts, and will also give you positive emotions from the process itself and satisfaction from the result obtained.
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Examples of real life situations
Real-life cases of frustration are presented in examples.
Example 1
At school age, frustration often occurs in children with “excellent student syndrome.” Students work hard to get high grades and stand out from their peers. When a child appears in their environment who demonstrates great success, individuals with the “excellent student syndrome” experience severe frustration.
Example 2
An example of love frustration would be a breakup. The person made plans for a future together, cherished dreams and fantasies, invested time and energy in the relationship. When his desires collapse overnight, this is accompanied by the emergence of frustration and its characteristic symptoms: acute disappointment, resentment and bitterness.
Example 3
Lack of success in the workplace leads to career frustration. A person may make great efforts in the hope of a raise or increase in salary: staying late, doing work for other employees. If the desired position is given to someone else and the salary increase is denied, frustration arises.
Frustration is a complex psycho-emotional state that causes discomfort and many unpleasant emotions. You can get out of it with the help of classes with a psychotherapist, relaxation techniques and taking sedatives, antipsychotics, and antidepressants.
Frustration is a state that arises in a situation of real or perceived discrepancy between our desires and available possibilities. That is, in a situation of impossibility of achieving something desired, satisfying a need.
This feeling is extremely conflicting, unpleasant and hurts self-esteem. Surely this experience is familiar to you, and you have had to deal with it at least once during your life.
And, as happens with unpleasant experiences, you always really want to get rid of them as quickly as possible. And there are several strategies or trends here. Let's look at them:
1) Frustration = challenge
Often, the inability to achieve what you want is automatically perceived as a challenge and leads to even more active attempts to achieve the desired goal. Then all distractions fade into the background and the person, no matter what, tries to achieve what he wants. The attractiveness of a goal that has not yet been achieved in this situation only intensifies. Sometimes there are even aggressive attempts to go ahead, head-on, which usually only aggravates the situation, requiring a more thoughtful, subtle and balanced method of action.
For example, when a person makes thoughtless purchases or suddenly invests money somewhere.
Instead of one expensive thing that he cannot afford, he buys a dozen cheaper unnecessary things, which in the end turn out to be even more expensive. Or he impulsively signs up for some courses, which he then just as impulsively abandons. Or he starts running and gets stressed out. Etc. and so on.
This causes a lot of discomfort, so there are the following lines of work in therapy:
– black and white thinking gradually breaks down: “it’s either pan or bust”, “all or nothing”, “now or never”, etc.;
– more adaptive ways are being sought - to do something while maintaining self-esteem, to do a piece without taking on the whole bulk, to do something in between, to wish in parts, etc.;
– we teach to see competing needs, desires and interests, which are often lost “in the heat” of achieving an overly significant goal;
– replacing the means of achieving the goal: searching for a new perspective on the situation as a whole, reviewing previous actions, searching for an alternative way to achieve the goal;
– goal replacement: searching for an alternative goal that satisfies a need or desire. Sometimes the goal is imposed by other people, for example parents, and is not at all so desirable upon close examination, then it is not difficult to transform or replace it;
– reassessment of the situation, the significance of the situation for the rest of life. Sometimes it turns out that it is possible to unite conflicting aspirations by reducing the significance of the situation and looking at it differently.
This allows you to act more flexibly, not rush into embrasures and maintain self-esteem at an acceptable level. A person himself masters some of these techniques throughout his life, and this helps him reduce frustration.
2) Frustration = withdrawal
This is the opposite vector, but it also occurs quite often, when a certain individual threshold of tolerance for frustration is reached and a person can no longer withstand the stress associated with it. Although the avoidance response can provide relief, withdrawing from a situation is destructive because it does not achieve goal achievement.
At the University of Iowa, K. Lewin's school conducted an experiment with children on frustration. It was called "Frustration and Regression in Children."
The authors concluded that as a result of frustration, some children's creativity decreased, they regressed (behaved like younger or lower-level children), and they experienced a loss of touch with reality.
This can also be seen in the behavior of adults.
Indeed, if you cannot achieve some very significant goal, it is better to go to an area where it is safer, for example, where these goals are not so important, valuable, etc.
Or another important withdrawal mechanism that children do not yet have, but appears in adults - devaluation of an unattainable object of desire, like “green grapes,” and exaggeration of the value of what you have, like “sweet lemon.”
– the “green grapes” phenomenon is about a situation when a person fails to take possession of the desired item, and he devalues it, that is, endows it with negative traits (as in the fable “The Fox and the Grapes”, when the fox could not get the grapes and called it “unripe” ", green);
– the “sweet lemon” defense is an exaggeration of the value of what you have (according to the principle “a bird in the hand is better than a pie in the sky”).
And in themselves these are not bad, working defenses, and there is nothing wrong with them, but sometimes they do not allow a person to even try to get closer to his own goal.
Here in therapy it is important to build such a process so that a person has the opportunity to try something new, to gain such experience, despite difficulties and obstacles and without the possibility of completely devaluing the new activity.
It is extremely important to experience success through difficulties.
3) Adaptation balance
It is ideal when a person has in his arsenal both adaptive methods of coping with frustration and maintaining his self-esteem, as well as experience in accepting a challenge and successfully overcoming difficulties in a significant situation. Then life does not develop according to the type of avoiding situations of frustration, but also does not turn into a fierce struggle for a dream in spite of everything.
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