What is psychological pressure
Psychological pressure is the influence that a person exerts on others to change their judgments, beliefs, opinions and decisions.
At first glance, this looks like an act of good intentions, which can only be carried out by strong and independent individuals. But such people are able to express their opinions directly, without any tricks.
But the methods of psychological pressure are used precisely by people who are unsure of themselves and have no real power. Such pressure makes the victim feel vulnerable and brings anxiety. It is very undesirable to use such techniques also because they bring only a temporary effect. Everything indicates that this is an extremely negative phenomenon. But everyone should know what it is and how to resist psychological pressure in order to be able to resist the manipulations of others.
The reason for our reactions
Why is it so difficult to stop in a conflict situation, to go beyond the usual behavioral pattern? The reason lies in our physiology, and is explained by the theory of the conditional division of the brain into three main sections:
- The “reptile brain” is the most ancient part, activated when a threat to life arises.
- The “mammal brain,” which is responsible for experiencing pleasure.
- And also the “human brain” - a department that regulates the processes of thinking, rational analysis, and reasoning.
Usually these departments work in peace and harmony. But when a person is “upset,” experiencing anger or fear, arousal predominates in the “reptile brain.” It is this department that dictates the reactions of flight, expression of aggression, and freezing. But in all these cases, a person cannot evaluate his actions from a logical position or understand the opponent’s motivation. This scheme was life-saving for ancient man. Now it causes a lot of inconvenience, although it continues to function in the same mode as millions of years ago.
You can turn off the “reptile brain” only with the help of logical analysis, awareness of the current situation - that is, connecting the frontal lobes. The situation looks much simpler when we have come out of the conflict, cooled down, and are distracted. Physiologically, in the process of analyzing the situation, the following happens - the focus of nervous excitation in the brain moves from more ancient layers to the cortical structures.
Types of psychological pressure
Before considering ways to protect against psychological pressure on a person, you should consider what types and methods of psychological pressure exist. This is what determines what behavioral strategy the victim should choose in order to resist the manipulator.
Compulsion
This form is used when one person has more influence in some area than another. For example, psychological pressure often arises at work when a boss forces a subordinate to do something that he does not want and is not even obliged to do, but cannot refuse without any consequences. Any subordinate needs to know about coercion in order to know how to resist psychological pressure at work.
One can confuse coercion with manipulation, but the difference between the former is that the provocateur does not need to come up with any conditions or pretexts to provide information.
Humiliation
This is a way to morally crush a person with the help of unpleasant comments and statements about his appearance, character and actions. After all, it is criticism of personal qualities that hurts the most and negatively affects self-esteem.
As soon as you hear something unpleasant about yourself, you immediately have a desire to refute and prove to others that in reality everything is completely wrong. The aggressor takes advantage of this and offers to do what is beneficial to him. The victim of the situation, of course, agrees.
Avoidance
One of the most sophisticated types of psychological violence. Sometimes, in order to avoid manipulation, one of the participants immediately tries to clarify awkward moments and asks questions head-on, but the interlocutor cleverly avoids them, changes the topic, or simply ignores statements that are inconvenient for him. It gets to the point that this person begins to be indignant at why they are slandering him and twisting his words.
The victim falls into a stupor: everything seems to be going well, but inside there remains a feeling of confusion and anxiety.
Suggestion
Many people have met in their lives such masters of words who were able to instill in them completely ridiculous and unnecessary things. This is not easy to achieve, but aggressors cleverly gain the trust and respect of the listener. After this, you can put any pressure on the person.
The most obvious example of this type of violence is hypnosis, with the help of which gypsies extort money from passers-by. But it is worth noting that there are people who cannot be hypnotized, so this type of psychological pressure will not work with them.
Belief
In appearance, this is a very rational way to persuade your interlocutor to do something. The initiator presents weighty arguments, facts, and consistently presents all the information - it is difficult to resist such logical arguments. In addition, the victim is very flattered that she is considered a deeply educated and intelligent person.
But as soon as you make some mistake or inconsistency of facts, the whole strategy becomes useless. This type is one of the main forms of psychological pressure of a teacher. For a student in elementary school, the teacher is the unconditional authority. Often, in conversations with parents, the child relies on the words of the teacher: “And Maria Ivanovna says that you need to do this.”
A teacher who works without desire and inspiration can use this for his own selfish purposes.
Manipulation
This is one of the main types of psychological pressure on a person, which can be applied in various ways. Its distinctive feature is that the aggressor tries to exert psychological pressure and gain personal benefit at the expense of others in such a way that they are not aware of the true motives. In this regard, not every manipulator can use this method: you need to be not just calculating, but also a cold-blooded person who well understands the psychology of people.
The most obvious example of manipulators is scammers. They have a clear strategy on how to gain benefit from those around them, and skillfully put pressure on the most vulnerable places. Giving alms to the poor is a manipulation of the kindness, compassion and empathy of most people. Big winnings in lotteries and online casinos are a manipulation of people hungry for easy money.
The same type of psychological violence is used in network marketing: cunning methods of calculation show numbers that are attractive to victims, which can be achieved with a minimum of effort.
Manipulators actively put pressure on the victim through attitudes and beliefs that are formed in most people: “You must sympathize and help others,” “You must be responsible for everything that happens,” “Any service must be paid with gratitude,” and others.
But everyone’s most vulnerable place is their own emotions and feelings. And manipulation of them is so widespread in society that many may not even realize that they are engaging in psychological pressure. Parents influence children (it is easiest to exert psychological pressure on a child), men influence women and vice versa. For example, many partners ask their other half for a favor using the phrase: “Don’t you love me?”
All this is manipulated in other areas: at work, in business, in politics, in advertising. Therefore, almost everyone experiences psychological pressure.
Required thanks
A form of psychological pressure in which the manipulator thinks through his actions several steps ahead. He provides an unsuspecting victim with some kind of help or service that no one asked for, as if with the best intentions. This can go on for quite a long time until a person gains trust.
But at some point the manipulator asks for help and pressures him that it’s time to repay the debt. If the victim is not tormented by conscience and does not agree immediately, then such requests can turn into real threats.
Present yourself in a favorable light
It is better to complete this step first if you are meeting a person for the first time or have not seen him for about six months. In life, the saying “You meet someone by your clothes...” works well, so in the first thirty seconds people evaluate your appearance and style of clothing, then fifteen seconds they evaluate your demeanor and gestures, another fifteen seconds remain for your manner and literacy of speech. The impression you make on a person in the first minute of communication is the most lasting, and it is very important not to ignore this moment.
How to resist psychological pressure
If you notice that someone is putting psychological pressure on you, then you should remember that manipulators resort to such measures for a reason. Often these people are not able to bear the burden of their psychological problems and cannot withstand stress. They try to shift responsibility from themselves to strangers in order to feel comfortable.
There may be several reasons for this behavior:
- a model of upbringing in a family in which everyone encourages the child’s infantilism;
- sharply negative memories of a difficult childhood and more.
The first thing you need to do to resist psychological pressure is to give a straightforward rebuff. The victim must calmly and directly inform the manipulator that his demands will not be met because they have a selfish goal. This will confuse some people and the situation will be over. But especially sophisticated people can continue their actions, this time in a more sophisticated way. And among the victims there may be those who do not know how to openly resist someone; such a conversation can increase their feelings of guilt and make them become even more bogged down in the situation.
A more environmentally friendly way to deal with manipulators is to work on your self-esteem. Its level is directly related to the degree of susceptibility to psychological pressure: the lower a person’s self-esteem, the easier it is to force him to do something he doesn’t want. To improve it, it is necessary to do a lot of work even at the level of thinking. This is especially difficult to do if your environment, including family and friends, consists of toxic individuals. In this case, it is best to seek help from a specialist.
Psychological pressure: protection against manipulation in several steps
Overcoming psychological pressure can be much easier than protecting yourself from it in time. After all, recognizing this phenomenon is sometimes very difficult; the manipulator can choose the most sophisticated types and types of actions.
But if there is even a suspicion of such actions, then you need to use techniques to protect yourself from psychological pressure.
Straightforwardness
You can directly state to your interlocutor’s face that he is behaving too assertively and aggressively; such behavior does not allow him to weigh everything and make a choice. Some manipulators retreat when faced with resistance, but with others you have to use other techniques.
Closed poses
Crossed arms or legs, chin down - all this reduces the degree of psychological pressure. Such poses at the subconscious level give a signal to your partner that you are not ready to cooperate and perceive information.
Mental barriers
Sometimes ordinary thoughts and images give you greater confidence in yourself and your abilities. It’s enough to imagine that there is an insurmountable barrier between you and the manipulator: an invisible wall, a deep ditch, a fiery barrier, an impenetrable dome or a spacesuit.
Distraction
To confuse your opponent, you can distract him in various ways: coughing, yawning, tapping on the table, turning pages, straightening clothes or hair. Any physical activity will attract the eye, but it is important that it looks natural and is not repeated too often.
Emotionality of speech
You need to express your position enthusiastically. Moreover, women are more inclined to show emotions than men; accordingly, when communicating with women, you need to actively use facial expressions, and vice versa with men. The greatest effect is obtained if a man communicates with a woman using the language of facial expressions and gestures; she gets the impression that he is a sensitive and understanding person. And vice versa, if a woman communicates with a man with restraint, then he involuntarily develops the opinion that she can be relied on and trusted.
How to get out of pressure
There are several techniques that will help you take control of the situation and protect yourself from other people’s pressure:
- Start asking questions. You can ask yourself: “Do I need to do this? If I want to? Will I benefit? Can I refuse? The answers will help you get into a defensive position if necessary. And clarifying questions to your opponent will help you gain time and identify weak points. It is important to carefully monitor his non-verbal gestures. A person can give up his selfish intentions when he hears confident questions: “Why should I take on such responsibility?”, “Why are you sure that I will agree?” and so on.
- Determine the advantage that the partner enjoys. This will help you find your strengths in contrast to his words. If the manipulator puts pressure on him with his experience and knowledge, then he should mention his strong professional qualities and merits. If one hides behind someone’s authority, then one can question it and say that it is a subjective thing. And an unexpected and urgent request can be considered by referring to busyness and more important matters.
- Find a way to use your advantages. As stated above, you need to find the same strategy that the interlocutor uses. It is only important to build your defense and not go too far.
- Wait until the forces are equal. It is from this moment that you can take the following actions. If you rush and move straight to the next point, your opponent may view this as weakness. And a clear advantage in your favor can contribute to even greater conflict.
- Find a compromise and move on to cooperation. At a time when your partner is no longer so confident in his abilities, you can dictate your terms and look for a solution that will be convenient for both. Sometimes you can calmly walk away from interaction with such a person.
Parasite words
You need to watch your speech and mercilessly get rid of them. For example, in the phrase “it's me again” the parasite is the word “again” (again). Otherwise, this phrase can be pronounced as “Are you tired of me yet?”
Read also: How to deal with a hot-tempered boss
