Empathy - what it is, its types, ways of development

Over the past few years, interest in the concept of “empathy” has increased significantly: if previously this term was used only in scientific circles by philosophers and psychologists, now it can be found both in fiction and journalistic literature, and in everyday communication. This growth in its popularity is due to the fact that empathy plays a huge role in interpersonal communication and is of particular importance for absolutely all people without exception.

However, despite the introduction of this scientific term to the masses, many people still do not fully understand what it actually means: the vast majority believe that empathy is synonymous with sympathy, but this is not entirely true.

In order to dispel this common misconception, we have prepared this article, from which you will learn how the term “empathy” arose and developed, what levels of empathy exist, what opportunities are hidden in highly developed empathic abilities, how to evaluate and improve them.

What is empathy

The concept in question appeared thanks to the research of the American psychologist E. Titchener.
Empathy is a response, an acute internal reaction to the feelings and emotions of other people.
This is the ability to understand and see what is happening psychologically with an opponent, the ability to feel his experiences. Each of us has the ability to empathize; it is innate. Remember the child’s behavior: the mother laughs and he laughs, the mother bursts into tears and the child sheds tears. With age, this quality disappears or becomes less pronounced in most of us, as self-defense mechanisms against negative emotions are activated.

Empathy is activated when someone around a person experiences negative emotions: sadness, sadness, fear. A sensitive person in such a situation also begins to worry and tries to provide support.

Sensitive people react sharply to not only reality events. They know how to put themselves in the shoes of a book character or a movie hero, feel his feelings, and cry when watching the corresponding scenes.

Psychology considers two types of empaths:

People who are good at reading the emotions and states of others, but at the same time internally remain cold and rational. Such people can be dangerous because, having studied a person, they can begin to manipulate and use another.
Those who not only see the opponent’s psyche, but also feel his pain or confusion as their own.

The concept of the second type is the most common and is accepted as the basis. In our article we will talk about highly sensitive people who sincerely empathize with others.

Is there a downside to empathy?

Photo by Liza Summer, pexels

Putting yourself in someone else's shoes can be helpful, but when it becomes a normal way of communicating with others, empathy can blind a person to their own needs and even make them vulnerable to those who would take advantage of their empathy.

Types of empathy in psychology

Particular sensitivity to the inner world of others is classified into the following types.

Rational or intellectual (cognitive)

In this form, the state of the individual is, first of all, subject to analysis and study. We compare a person's actions with his actions and knowledge of how people act when experiencing the corresponding emotions.

This type is based on the experience of similar experiences by humans. His facial expressions, gestures, gaze, and voice are of great importance in determining the state of another individual. From them you can tell what a person is experiencing. However, it is important to be able to “read” non-verbal symbols so as not to make mistakes.

The cognitive form of empathy helps in personal and business communications and allows you to achieve what you want by understanding the personality of your opponent.

Emotional

Based on the mechanism of mental infection. There are particularly sensitive individuals who literally read the emotional state of their interlocutor. There is a deep immersion into the inner state of another person.

Such people have a special nervous system and can experience the pain of others as their own personal tragedy. It is not surprising that they experience significant emotional and nervous overload.

Any story about a catastrophe that has occurred in the world can plunge them into a state of prolonged experience of tragedy and compassion for strangers.

Intuitive (predicative)

This type presupposes the ability to anticipate, predict the reactions and emotions of interlocutors. A person understands in advance how his partner will react to one or another of his actions.

A predictive empath not only understands the internal state, he is aware of the motives of actions. Therefore, he tries to act in such a way as not to disturb the psychological comfort of another person.

A person may have the properties of empathy of one, two or all three types. There are individuals who do not understand the moods of other people at all and do not spare their personal inner world, i.e. have no empathy.

The last stage: positive attitude

Empaths - what does this gift give? Naturally, not only the experience of someone else’s negativity:

Concentrate on the bright, good feelings of your loved ones. Rejoice for them and with them.
The next stage is to learn to see the positive even in a random passerby. This will help a sensitive person like you quickly regain his good mood.
Create positivity yourself - make small surprises for your loved ones, show concern. Their joy will become your joy.
Do what you like, without regard to age, prejudice, or sidelong glances.
Try to surround yourself with bright, positive, understanding people. Don't hesitate to contact them for support.
Try to avoid situations that greatly depress you as often as possible.
Empaths - who are they? Of course, people who are inclined to creativity. Be creative - from writing your own book to designing your own clothing style. Creativity will clear the clouds over your head.
Turn your sympathy and empathy into active activity. Help homeless animal shelters, organize a party for children from a boarding school, or simply buy a hot lunch for a homeless person.
Direct your compassion towards yourself. Learn to feel sorry for yourself. Of course, within reasonable limits.
And last but not least, accept and love your uniqueness.

Are you an empath? How to live with this? This is an amazing, but at the same time, difficult gift - after all, such a person hears not only happiness, but also all the pain of this world. Moreover, he passes it through himself. Therefore, an empath must constantly work on himself, not allowing other people's feelings to make his life unbearable.

What signs indicate the existence of empathy?

Signs of empathy are:

Full readiness to support

Each of us may need support and comfort. There are many difficult and unforeseen situations in life, and not everyone is ready to endure them steadfastly and adequately. Having a strong shoulder nearby, capable of not only sympathizing, but also providing real help, is one of the conditions for overcoming the crisis and minimizing psychological trauma.

A person with a high level of empathy always strives to help, to do everything in his power. He will arrive at night to give you a pill, he will rush to pick up a comrade who has gone on a spree from the police, and he will not leave a dog or other animal to die on the road.

Without receiving any return in return, such an individual still continues to do good deeds, thereby strengthening his self-esteem.

Ability to hear your interlocutor

We have met people who like to talk only about themselves and their problems. They will listen to us reluctantly and again turn the topic to their loved ones.

If there is empathy, a person notices our every word. There is not even a shadow of condemnation in it, there are no moral teachings or moralizations. Even if a morally bad act is committed, an empath will find the right words and support.

The interlocutor understands that his problems are important and significant, which means he himself is interesting and needed. A sincere person will always give real and useful advice based on what he hears.

Sincere sympathy

Empathy involves sincere and open empathy. You can give advice and help with a cold heart, without being imbued with the misfortune of another. And you can feel the pain as if it were your own.

Highly empathetic individuals can suffer no less than their wards, forget about peace and sleep until the situation is resolved. They cry when experiencing touching or tragic scenes from films, and then cannot forget them for a long time.

Stage 2: creating boundaries

We continue our own step-by-step mental analysis:

Notice what you can tolerate from others and what you want to give up once and for all.
In what situations can you easily give up and follow the lead of the “vampire”? Create a “panic button” in your mind - nip such moments in the bud.
Talk openly with your loved ones. Explain why you need to be alone sometimes, talk about situations that exhaust you and put you in a bad mood.
Come up with a plan for dealing with difficult situations. For example, your friend is in trouble and the poor guy just needs to talk it out. What will you do? Maybe it’s worth setting a time frame for such a conversation?
Learn to say no. Practice by playing out with yourself the most common situations of your future refusals.
An empath is a gift of listening. You can spend hours sincerely empathizing with other people's bitter stories. And as much as it becomes easier for your interlocutor, it becomes harder for you. Set a time for these “unloading” sessions for your friends. Half an hour is enough to discuss any problem.

Advice from psychologists on strengthening the ability to be compassionate

If for some reason you lack such a trait as empathy, practice the following skills:

Get to know yourself and your feelings, reflect . In the evening, you can think about what events the day was filled with, what emotions you experienced in a given situation.
Every word heard from another person should reach the heart, understand what the person is saying . Listen carefully.
Become an actor . Imagine yourself in the role of this or that hero, try to understand his emotions.
Do not refuse to help colleagues, friends or loved ones . If they ask for your advice, then listen and help.
Pets are very good at awakening frozen empathy . Every adequate person, at the sight of kittens and puppies, has feelings of tenderness, kindness, and a desire to protect.

The main condition for the development of compassion is the ability to love, to experience kind feelings towards the whole world. If you have fear, anger, malice, and selfishness in your soul, then you won’t be able to become an empath even if you follow all the tips listed above.

How can an empath learn not to waste emotions in vain?

develop the habit of not interfering in other people’s lives and not living according to someone else’s scenario;
do not get into the soul of a person who does not ask for it, be able to accept a person for who he is, empathize and support;
to restore internal balance and spiritual harmony, learn the practice of meditation and be able to relax, rest, and choose the most appropriate type of relaxation;
remember that you won’t be nice to everyone, clearly outline your circle of acquaintances and limit yourself from those who only cause negative emotions and mental devastation;
love yourself, be yourself, don’t blame yourself for trifles and don’t try to save the whole world.

Positive and negative sides of empathy

In the article, we have already talked about the positive aspects of empathy: success in negotiations, a positive emotional climate at home and at work, and good self-esteem.

But, like any thing, empathy has a reverse, “dark” side, namely:

Strong emotional and nervous stress . A person constantly passes through the problems and pain of others as if it were his own business. He suffers, worries, wastes his energy and emotions.
Strong empaths take responsibility for everything in the world . They believe that they are obligated to help everyone, and if this does not work out, they feel guilty. The desire to help extends not only to family and friends, but also to strangers.
A person suffers from an extreme degree of altruism, i.e. helps another to the detriment of oneself . In this regard, their problems and troubles accumulate, and, as a rule, no one is in a hurry to help.

In addition, high empaths simply physically cannot say rudeness in response to rudeness and hurt the person who offended them. Therefore, sometimes people give the impression of being weak and weak-willed, although this is not at all the case.

Many people use this feature when solving personal issues. There are very few true HSPs (highly sensitive people) and they need to be protected.

Stage 1: Awareness of reactions to other people's feelings

An empath is a person who feels the emotions of other people as their own. Your work should start with the following:

Determine when and at what moments you are especially susceptible to the influence of other people's feelings.
Analyze what emotions you feel in society: fear, depression, tension, or maybe a desire to impress with your gift?
Identify the so-called emotional vampires in your social circle. These are personality types such as dictators, excessive egoists, critics, victims, hysterical people. They are the ones who are dangerous to an empath. Reduce communication with them to a minimum or stop friendship altogether. The next paragraph will tell you how to do this.

Rules for controlling the ability to empathize

In psychology there is a concept called “empathic fatigue.” It affects people whose jobs involve compassion and empathy every day: medical personnel, social service workers, rescuers. Faced with blood, pain and death every day, such people experience emotional empathic burnout syndrome.

If a person feels that he is an HSP and is gradually becoming emotionally exhausted, then preventive measures should be taken on “mental hygiene”.

You should learn to control and restrain your emotions. Move from identical suffering to rational help. Try to help the person in a detached manner, without letting his grief pass through you.

Empaths tend to be embarrassed to ask for help themselves. There is no need to do this. If you are in trouble, find yourself in a difficult situation, or just need someone to cry to, then feel free to contact people. You have helped many, let them help you too. It will happen that your imaginary loved ones will not want to sympathize, analyze whether you are wasting your life on people who will not tear themselves away from the sofa for you. Think rationally!

Avoid watching programs that will evoke emotions of sadness and compassion. Your films are comedies!

To gain energy, follow the banal rules: get enough sleep, spend time in nature, eat right.

Can people stop empathizing?

First responders, aid workers, doctors, therapists, journalists, and others whose work involves being open to the pain of others tend to exhibit high empathy. However, they may begin to block this ability so as not to share the grief of those they help or whose stories they record.

This is a normal defensive reaction, since as such “emotional sediment” accumulates, people in the listed professions may switch off, burn out, and cope with their responsibilities worse.

How is empathy diagnosed?

Diagnosis of the level of empathy is carried out using tests, the number of which is huge today. These tests are available to anyone on the Internet.

The technology for determining the level of empathy is identical for all tests: a series of questions are proposed that must be answered honestly (after all, no one can see you). Based on the results of the answers, the level of empathy will be assessed.

The most common is the express method of I. Yusupov. Its essence lies in the assessment of several judgments that, at first glance, are not related to empathy. For example: “Young people must satisfy any eccentricities of old people,” “A person gets out of a difficult conflict situation on his own,” etc. Based on the answers, a conclusion will be drawn about the level of empathy.

Advantages and disadvantages

Having learned what the word empathy means, some begin to try to master the abilities of the gift and develop it in their children. Often such people do not know how to use it correctly. This mental deficiency can cause discomfort to a person. To cope with various negative thoughts of strangers, you need to have a strong character and mind, so if an individual decides to develop empathy, it is worth knowing not only the advantages of the gift, but also the disadvantages.

The positive aspects include:

good prospects for career growth;
prompt assistance to relatives and friends;
inadmissibility of being deceived;
a chance to avoid quarrels - to extinguish conflicts.

The negative aspects include:

rapid emotional burnout;
tendency to worry;
the likelihood of developing psychological disorders;
in the sphere of human relations there is a risk of the situation developing according to the “one-goal game” plan;
it happens that there is no mutual understanding on the part of others;
increased sensitivity makes it very easy for strangers to harm the empath, and they themselves cannot resist this.

Remember that a career is only part of life

Work takes up a huge amount of our time and emotions; for an empathetic person, it can become the main source of anxiety. It is useful to remember that there are many other important and pleasant things in life besides a career: family, friends, hobbies. You are much more than an employee of a particular company, so one bad day, mistake, unpleasant comment from your boss or colleagues does not make you a bad person.

The ability to step outside of your work situation and look at it in the context of your life as a whole can help you feel less painful about everyday problems.

Read on topic:Too sensitive: 5 signs that you perceive the world in a special way

Tips for getting rid of empathy

A couple of useful practices that will allow you to remove this feeling from yourself.

Self management

Self-care practices can be a critical defense against fatigue and compassion. It is not uncommon for those who constantly attend to the needs of others to neglect their own.

Those who practice good self-care are significantly less susceptible to stress and compassion fatigue than those who do not. A good self-care routine will look different for each person, but generally it should include:

Balanced, nutritious diet.
Regular exercise.
Regular restful sleep schedule.
Balance between work and rest.
Satisfying emotional needs.

Interaction outside of the hobby

Maintaining a strong work-life balance can help protect you from compassion fatigue. When all your time is spent working or thinking about work, it can be easy to burn out.

Research has shown that work-life balance is becoming increasingly important for workers, and making time for leisure and personal interests outside of work can help reduce stress and increase overall life satisfaction.

Increase your vitality

Resilience is our ability to recover from stress. While some people are naturally more resilient than others, resilience is a skill that can be learned and developed.

“Resilience can be thought of as the ability to adapt and become stronger through adversity,” said Margie L. Roddick.

This may be a protective factor against compassion fatigue, such that people with higher resilience may be better able to prevent compassion fatigue.

Resilience is something that can be learned, and increasing or increasing it can reduce the effects of compassion fatigue as new coping techniques are learned.