How to forget the guy you love and live in a new way: best advice for girls

Tips for girls: how to forget the man you love

After a breakup, you want to relieve the pain in any way, quickly forget your loved one and stop thinking about him. And it’s better to quickly get rid of all feelings for the departed person, once and for all, in order to get out of the situation in which you find yourself with fewer losses. Unfortunately or fortunately, it is impossible to easily forget your ex and start a new life. And the best healer for a broken heart is still time.

At such moments, you are not the owner of your brain. Despite the passionate desire not to think about the person at all, events have developed in such a way that only you will mainly think about him. This is unpleasant and painful, but you have to put up with it if your main goal is to erase a man who doesn’t love you from your life. There are still ways to make a man fall in love, but they are not at all easy.

Time, patience and being gentle with yourself are the three main tools you will need during this period. You will have to allow and forgive yourself in advance for bad moods, breakdowns, sobs, and kilograms of ice cream - everything that your body decides to do during stress. Believe me, allowing all this to happen will be cheaper in the final bill than not allowing it to happen.

The first thing you need to do is prepare for the fact that it will be hard, and decide not to beat yourself up for anything that happens until the “hard” is over. Therefore, if you want to move away from the relationship so that this person can never step on a sore spot, hurt or again cause a storm of emotions - be patient with yourself and read on.

Antihero of your novel6

Now remember his shortcomings. About those qualities that you simply could not put up with.

Now is the time to come down to earth and remember that your lover is far from perfect.

Here you have another list. The anti-top qualities of a guy that you are not ready to put up with under any circumstances. In this list, also include qualities that are not shortcomings as such, but are simply unbearable for you.

If it seems to you that he is absolute perfection, we have to disappoint you - you are seriously mistaken. Either he skillfully pretended, or you don’t know him at all and fell in love not with him, but with the ideal image that you created in your head.

Is it possible to forget your ex

Will a person and everything connected with him ever disappear from memory? Completely - no, of course. Memories will fade and thin out over time , but the very fact of a relationship with a person and the main impression from them will definitely remain with you. Included with them will be a certain set of memories and emotions dedicated to this period in life and, perhaps, some kind of relationship to all this that is still alive.

This is what it will look like a few years later if you handle the breakup the right way. If not, the memories of the person and what happened between you will hurt you for many, many years. Unlived emotions will remain: when you contact your ex, you won’t care. It will not be easy for you to remember that you were once together and then separated. You may get angry, scared, want to take revenge, want to show superiority - and all this will indicate that you did not live the separation to the fullest. No matter how much time has passed since then.

You are unlikely to ever thoroughly forget this relationship if it was important to you, if you were in love. But you can make sure that the memories of them do not touch you in any way or even evoke that pleasant nostalgia for the old days. This nostalgia will not necessarily be addressed to your partner: it can be about how you yourself felt in this relationship. Maybe it was easy for you, or you didn’t love anyone else that much, or at that moment in this relationship you found exactly what you desperately needed. Then you feel nostalgic, but you don’t miss your partner. And that's absolutely normal.

Facts will remain in your memory forever, or almost forever. You will not achieve the point that you will see a person on the street and not recognize him or remember him. You won't forget the relationship itself. The memories of them will simply become duller and stop hurting you - and this is an excellent result.

Gratitude4

It is difficult to thank a person for bringing you pain and suffering. But hate won't get you far.

Perhaps he taught you something, opened your eyes to some things and changed your picture of the world. Gave you wonderful memories or helped you find your life’s work.

And even if you loved him with unrequited love, he gave you very valuable experience. Thanks to him, you strived to become better. Thanks to him, you experienced such a range of feelings.

Focus on the good. Thank him for everything that happened between you. And for something that never happened.

Any relationship in our life is an experience. And it depends only on you whether this experience will be useful or not.

Methods to help you forget him

So, you broke up, but you’re not ready to plunge headlong into grief. It’s normal to try to isolate yourself from him, and you shouldn’t forbid yourself a breath of fresh air - you’ll have enough melancholy as it is. Try to find a balance point : do not forget about your pain, give it space, but also distract yourself from it from time to time.

Let's tell you in detail about the eight main ways to get distracted and get the guy you love out of your head:

• New hobby. Do something you've been meaning to try for a long time. The more hours a week you can devote to him, the more exciting it will be in the process, the better. Sports are ideal: the body will benefit from the help of hormones that are produced during physical activity, and concentrating on the body and precise execution of movements is a great help to distract from sad thoughts. Plus, after training you will want to kill him a little less. Because of hormones and fatigue.
• Write letters. If you can’t distract yourself from thinking about a person, write down everything you think about him. It is important to do this by hand and on paper. The fate of this letter is not so important: you can leave it, you can burn it, you can tear it up. The main thing is that it does not fall into the hands of your ex. You write not for him, but for yourself, remember this from the very beginning. By writing about the patient in a letter, you will feel that it worries you less.
• Ask friends for support. They will understand and will definitely take care of you. Go to joint meetings and parties, do something together. Be present in the company: its dynamics are a great distraction from everything else.

• Make plans for the days you traditionally spent together. Fill them with something pleasant, but different from relationships and associations with them. Desires that you have long wanted to realize, and those things that have interfered with your relationship, are perfect. Enjoy and enjoy the fact that you can return to them.
• Go to a psychologist. You may only need a few meetings, but a specialist will help you not to get lost in negative experiences, go through them as fully as possible and come out a healthy, whole person. A therapist will accept everything that happens to you, unlike most friends. And it will help you find a way to deal with your experiences so as not to suppress them and at the same time survive. He is trained in such things and knows more about them, and this makes him and such help especially valuable.
• Be more patient and loyal to yourself. Cry if you want. Eat a lot of sweets if you want. Don't deny anything that's happening to you. Try to listen to yourself and provide maximum comfort, maximum self-care that is possible. You have enough stress as is.
• Don't be shy about expressing your feelings. Most likely, you will want to communicate with your ex. And probably more than once. Don’t forbid yourself to do this: sometimes it is through contact with reality that you need to destroy your expectations. Do you hope that he will want to return, do you miss him, are you so angry that you cannot remain silent? Offer to see each other and express what you have accumulated. Look at the reaction - some of your illusions will collapse. After one or several meetings, you will come to terms with the current state of affairs, notice that such interaction does not suit you, and understand that you yourself are more valuable than these experiences. And letting go of the situation will become easier.
• Choose the best dating site that is most interesting for you and spend your time profitably and with pleasure.

These are the main tips on how to forget and let go of a young man who doesn’t care about you. But there are additional ones that will make it easier to forget the guy you loved and no longer need.

• Go deep into your work: Anger and resentment can easily be transformed into energy to work hard.
• Go on a trip - at least for a weekend.
• Avoid places where the two of you liked to go.
• Give yourself hours for concentrated sadness and other emotions.
• Get rid of things that remind you of your relationship.
• Say goodbye to the person in the way you want and after which it will become easier.
• Join an interest group.
• Share these experiences with the rest of your relationship experience - don’t fall into thinking that all men are the same.
• Try not to think about what is happening to him and what he is thinking.
• Don't look for someone to blame.

What to do if you still love

First of all, treat your feelings with care and not bury them along with the relationship. For some reason, it is often impossible to stop loving and leave the man to whom you have become attached. Don't sound the alarm too early: love will fade, but there is no need to force this process.

Love, which is no longer mutual, will have to be reconciled with reality. It will last for some time - you can never know in advance how long. If you, out of undying love, periodically meet with your ex and make sure that it will no longer be the same as before, it may fade away a little faster, but you will get more pain.

Don't let her go anywhere: let her live. You can still give it space—in your fantasies and on paper. Your love is not to blame for the breakup, so don’t try to destroy it and give it time to fade away on its own.

You have a unique opportunity to chat with a professional psychologist for free for 20 minutes. Just go to the website psy-chat.ru and leave a request to select a psychologist. A specialist will write to you in 2 minutes in the specified messenger.

Right to suffer2

It's normal to feel pain when breaking up with someone you love. It doesn't matter how long your relationship lasted. And did they last at all?

If you, tired of unrequited love, decided to let this guy go, allow yourself to experience this pain. Disappointment, resentment and anger from one’s own powerlessness.

Allow yourself to drink up this entire cocktail of negative feelings and emotions. Imagine that this is a kind of emotional surfing - catch a wave and surrender to it. Eventually, you will find yourself on the shore.

What to do if feelings have cooled down, but he still can’t get out of his head

One of two things: either not enough time has passed, or the feelings still haven’t cooled down. Try to figure it out: do you want this relationship back? If yes, then you haven’t gotten over the breakup yet, and it’s normal to think about the person. If not, you might have something to say. There is some incompleteness left, and it needs to be sorted out. Visit our dating rating and start a new life.

If you're wondering why you can't forget the guy you liked, be more careful with the context in which he pops up in your thoughts. Find the reason why you are thinking about him and deal with that reason. Give yourself a little more time, meet with him, write and ask about what worries you - just resolve this situation.

What you definitely shouldn't do

• Don’t try to immediately force yourself to abandon the loved one who abandoned you and move on with your life.
• Don't call him constantly. Do not look at general photos, do not hang out on his profiles on social networks.
• Don't badmouth him among mutual friends.
• Don't write painful posts or try to publicly draw his attention to your broken heart.
• Do not appear in the places where he goes and where you went together.
• Don't consider the end of this relationship the end of your life.
• Don't promise yourself to never get into a relationship again.
• Don't compare him to others and don't stigmatize all men because of his misdeeds.
• Don't wallow in your pain all the time.
• Don't make breakup the only topic you discuss with everyone.