So you like her. Very. And you can't think about anything but her. But the question is: how to invite a girl on a date in such a way as to guarantee a positive response on her part? We hasten to disappoint you - this method does not exist.
No matter how good you are or what strategy you choose, the girl may simply not be interested in you specifically or in dating/relationships in general.
But until you ask, you won’t know the answer, and we suggest that you familiarize yourself with the guide, which, although it cannot guarantee her consent, will definitely increase your chances of success.
The best ways to ask a girl out: how to avoid getting rejected
Let’s make a reservation right away: refusal is still possible. Even if you do everything perfectly, the girl may have reasons to refuse a meeting. But nevertheless, the more competently you act, the higher the likelihood of agreement. Here are a few rules to help you get consent:
- Be polite. Communicate with the girl carefully and courteously. Give the impression of a pleasant person. This is the basis of her consent.
- Take your time. Don't suggest meeting until you've gotten to know each other better and talked for a while. You need to allow confident sympathy to arise - by experiencing it, the girl is more likely to agree.
- Think about the meeting. Where will you go, what will you do, what will you talk about. If you manage to improvise with the latter, the first two points should be prepared in advance to avoid awkwardness on the spot.
- Choose the correct wording. Since you will receive an answer immediately after this, it is important to say something that will not kill all previous efforts and will persuade the girl to agree.
We will help you with the wording - Don't push. If a girl has doubts, she needs to properly ask the reason for her doubts and convince her that the idea is harmless and safe. But you shouldn’t just rigidly stick to your line: this will convince the girl that her doubts were not in vain.
Mumble = failure10
No one argues that a first date is stressful. But it’s the girl who can shake like a leaf and remain embarrassedly silent, not the initiator of the meeting. But you shouldn’t overdo it either. Some young people are convinced that self-confidence, impudence and rudeness are one and the same thing. deepest delusion. Moreover, insolence and rudeness are generally unacceptable when meeting a lady. And it doesn’t matter how this manifests itself: a reproach to the waiter or remarks towards the drivers of neighboring cars. Culture, etiquette, self-control. Here are three principles for forming the right opinion and attitude. Everything else is just an addition.
As for your own shortcomings or minor mistakes, you can play with humor. Then, such an attitude towards yourself will cause tenderness or a smile, and not a contemptuous “fie”.
How to prepare for a date
You have chosen the best place for a date. We received the cherished consent. The meeting is scheduled. What to do now? Make sure everything goes at the highest level.
- Think over the program . Where you can drink coffee, where the places are picturesque enough for a walk, what movie to watch, if we are talking about cinema. You can include something original in the form of a walk on the rooftops, riding attractions or horses.
- Take care of your budget : in our country it is customary to pay for girls on dates. This happens in most cases, and the girl may be offended if she has to pay for herself.
- Think about the appearance . It should suit the occasion: if you are going to the theater, dress more formally; if you have planned some active entertainment, choose something comfortable. Clothing must be clean and tidy. Hairstyle - neat. Choose a pleasant, unobtrusive perfume.
- If you want to achieve maximum favor with a girl , come up with a small gift or give flowers.
- Think about topics for conversation : what you want to ask, what you will tell about yourself. The conversation will probably develop on its own, but it’s better to have a couple of trump cards in case of awkward silence or to find out something about the girl that you would already like to ask.
Transition to plan "B"8
Not having backup options for a date is carelessness. And we are not talking about the fact that there should be 33 more candidates in the notebook in case of refusal. It is necessary to calculate and assume force majeure circumstances:
- Sudden deterioration in weather. This means that in addition to an umbrella, you need to know the location of the nearest cafes in order not only to shelter from the rain, but also to have dinner
- The girl is not hungry. This could also happen. Accordingly, you need to go on a date well-fed and think in advance about where else you can go. If she stubbornly refuses, then wandering aimlessly around the park can become boring. Although, suddenly he works up an appetite. But it’s better to immediately look at the posters of interesting exhibitions, and after some time she will definitely not refuse a cup of coffee.
- Detained at work. Classic. And it's double-sided. Then you need to act according to the situation. If a girl is detained, then patience will help. If you are delayed yourself, then the plan is as follows: taxi → courier with flowers → delivery of the girl to the cafe → waiter. While she waits, you can make it. But, of course, it is necessary to warn and constantly prompt at what stage the force majeure is completed.
How to ask a girl out on a date in person
If you already see each other and communicate, and you don’t need to transfer your acquaintance from the Internet to reality, everything becomes much simpler. It’s enough to seize the moment and pull it off gracefully.
- If you study or work together, add romance and throw a note. Offer to go to a movie she's been looking forward to, or to a cafe with her favorite type of cuisine. According to the tradition of American films, write the options “Yes” and “No” so that she ticks the right one. If you are sure of success, you can write down the options “Yes”, “Definitely yes”, “Tomorrow”, “Ask me again”. If the plan doesn't work, the girl simply won't return the note.
- When you meet, compliment her appearance. Ask about the news and offer to go for a walk/lunch/go somewhere together.
- Ask for help. Maybe you need to choose an outfit for an occasion, a gift for your mom, or something she's good at. This will be an excellent excuse for a meeting and will emphasize your attention to the girl.
- If you have a ticket or membership somewhere that is about to expire, invite her to join you.
Date with a stranger friend3
A date with a girl whose communication lasted only 5 minutes is a very troublesome event. But you should understand that, having set a high bar, you will have to maintain it until victory. Are you able to? And therefore, in order not to get into trouble, you will have to make do with a walk in quiet places.
The gentleman's package has not been canceled: flowers and coffee or tea in an elegant but inexpensive establishment. We immediately need to remind you that the phone should be on silent mode so as not to interfere with the conversation. The conversation should under no circumstances be associated with an interview or questionnaire. This is terrible bad manners. There is no need to burden your counterpart with memories from your childhood. This period of “pants with a strap” is of no interest to anyone, for the time being, of course. The conversation should flow naturally.
There is also no need to delay the meeting. Firstly, you need to take into account the lady’s appearance (shoes!) and how busy she is during the day. If a young lady has spent the whole day at work and is now hobbling around in 15 cm heels, then a walk under the elms in the old park will seem like the most perverted torture. It’s easier to immediately invite them to a light dinner with dessert.
The meeting itself should not last more than three hours; you should not sit on your ears for longer. But the ending should be classic: taxi, delivery to the entrance, if the young lady does not mind being accompanied. It’s better not to ask for tea if the girl hasn’t taken the initiative. But you can hint about the next meeting. And how successful this first date was, the girl’s answer will tell you: either “yes” or “no.”
How to ask a girl on a date via the Internet: examples of successful wording
Successful phrases for asking a girl out on a date via social networks and on the Internet are basically divided into three categories:
1. Surprises . Something that has a little secret.
- “I know one place that you will definitely like. I won't tell you where it is, but I can show you. Let's go to?"
- “You were interested in… . I know something about this, I can tell you over a cup of coffee. Let's meet tomorrow at seven?"
2. Compliments . Tell the girl about her dignity and offer related leisure activities.
- “You're the only one who loves horror as much as I do. Shall we go to the cinema to see Guillermo’s new horror movie?”
- “You are so good at art! And I’m a complete layman, but I want to go to a new exhibition at the House of Artists. Will you keep me company?
3. Quests . The essence of the method is that the girl needs to do something in order to receive an invitation.
- Place the invitation note in the box and bet it on the game. Play along with the girl so that she wins, receives and reads the note. “Victory is yours! But can the loser win the opportunity to take you to the movies?”
- Hide several notes, each of which will tell you how to find the next one. The last note should include an invitation with the address and time. “You've come a long way. There's only one last step left - and the result will pleasantly surprise you. I’ll be waiting at the coffee shop on Chervonnaya at six in the evening.”
How to persuade a woman to date on a dating site
On a dating site, your only tool is correspondence. It is quite enough if the girl is interested enough to decide to meet.
Be courteous and choose the right moment to invite. Don’t ask to see her if the girl is telling you something important right now. Do this at a convenient time - not early in the morning or late in the evening. Make sure she is in a good mood and communicates openly.
Wording from the categories of surprises and compliments will work great here. Here are a few more examples of what correspondence might look like:
Zh: Oh, well, it was a good day at work today.
M: How are you today?
J: What are you doing? M: It seems that right now I need your help. J: Wow, what happened? M: I literally just found out that a backpacker traveler is coming to us. And only you will appreciate his lecture. Will you join me? J: Sounds interesting! I’ll make it up, of course. Where and when will she be?
How to invite a girl for a walk through VK
If you want to ask a friend on a date through VKontakte, rather than a stranger, think about how to do it in an original and cool way. When communicating with a girl you already know, you can choose your wording less carefully and not be afraid to experiment. There is a list of good phrases that will help you easily communicate with the girl you like.
The most original way is to create a simple but beautiful website with an invitation. Send her a private message with a caption like, “Look, what a cool idea.” The website should contain the invitation itself with the date, time and place of the meeting.
If website layout is not your thing, draw graffiti or make a postcard in Photoshop. The main advantage here is the unusual format and presentation. The result should be beautiful and unique, so that it can be seen that you didn’t just Google a template, but really tried.
Another way is to record a voice message. And there are ways to differentiate yourself: with background music, fun effects, intonations and other audio recording capabilities.
If you want to invite someone via correspondence, don’t worry about originality: this can also be a good solution. Here's what it might look like:
M: How are you?
M: You forgot your glasses in the office.
J: I bought a dog! M: Wow, great! What breed? F: Spaniel. Nice puppy. M: I had a spaniel as a child, they are truly wonderful. By the way, there is an extra leash and a couple of toys. I will be happy to give it to you if you allow me to take a walk with you. J: Tempting! We are walking in the park. M: Great. I'll be there at seven.
End of the meeting11
You need to end a date in the classic way: taxi → trip together → scheduling the next meeting. But, unlike a date with a stranger, in this case it is quite possible to hear an invitation for a cup of tea. There is no point in refusing. The girl is well known, and there is nothing reprehensible in visiting her humble abode. Yes, such a date can end in wild sex. But here the girl herself will decide what and how. You can't hint, you can refuse. And in general, it’s better to act according to the situation. In the end, sex in this case will not look like “straight to bed.” After all, a couple may have known each other for more than one month.
How to offer to meet by phone
To ask a girl out over the phone, you need brevity and confidence. Prepare in advance and try not to distract the girl with lengthy conversations and long, uncertain mooing. Here's what good phone invitation examples look like:
M: Hello, I’m calling to ask what your plans are for the weekend. J: Hello, only Saturday is busy for now. M: Great. How about bowling later that evening? I want to unwind and you seem like the perfect company. Z: I'm not a very good player, but I think it will be fun. M: This is what is required! I'll be there at six. Zh: Okay, I’ll get there by this time. M: Then see you later!
M: Hello, do you have a minute? J: Yes, speak up. Something happened? M: Nothing serious - I just wanted to invite you to a tour of the rooftops on Friday evening. I hope you find this interesting. Zh: Sounds intriguing, yes. But I'm not sure that I'll be free. M: It’s up to you, but if anything happens, we’ll start from kilometer zero at seven. I will be very glad if you join. Zh: I’ll try and tell you for sure on Thursday.
M: It seems you were looking for where we make good coffee in Chemexes. I found such a place and I need an expert. Shall we go there on Sunday? J: Sounds interesting! I'm free during the day. M: Great. I'll pick you up at three. J: Okay, I'll wait.
What to do before the invitation
Before inviting a beautiful girl for a walk, you need to make sure that she does not have a boyfriend, so as not to look stupid. If this is an unfamiliar girl whom you met on a social network, study her page, look at the photo to understand her interests, find out what kind of cuisine she prefers. Then study the girl’s style, if she likes classics, it is inappropriate to come to a meeting in a tracksuit, you must match each other.
READ On what date can you kiss: how to understand that it’s time
Once you have noted all the necessary information for yourself, you can move on to decisive action and invite her to meet. Initially, interest the young lady, chat a little on different topics, feel mutual interest in you. Only after this can you write a message suggesting they go to the cinema, sit in a restaurant or take a walk in the fresh air.
Psychologists recommend preparing for the meeting in advance, planning the day, so that later in the process you do not face uncertainty. Check out some important information to help you have a great first date:
- It is better to agree to meet in the place where you will spend the next few days on a date. If you have reserved a table at a restaurant, tell us the address and discuss a convenient time. Whenever possible, pick up the girl by taxi or private car, she will be pleased.
- Make an appointment in advance; there is no need to make spontaneous proposals. The girl probably has her own plans and worries, so it is unlikely that she will agree to a meeting this evening. It’s better to ask when and at what time she will be able, then adapt to her capabilities.
- You should not invite a girl to a place where music is playing loudly, it is constantly noisy and the atmosphere is unfavorable for communication. This will only ruin the date and take away the young lady’s desire to date you again.
These rules must be taken into account in order to make a good impression on your friend and not hear a refusal next time. A lot depends on your actions, so take care of the positive wave at the time of the date, control your actions, actions, and speech.
READ On what date can you sleep with a man without fear for your reputation?
How to make a date via SMS
The main feature of SMS invitations is their brevity. If you are interested in how to set up a date with a girl you know via SMS, try to put as much information as possible into one message. Here are some examples of how to assign a date to a girl you know via SMS:
- I haven’t seen you for a long time and I want to meet you. Shall we go to the cinema on Saturday? I've got a ticket and an ice cream.
- Have you already heard that your favorite Hurts are coming? I got tickets, I want to listen to them live. I'm counting on your company.
- Are you a connoisseur of Italian cuisine? How about a pasta dinner on Friday? They say she's great in Papa Carlo.
- “Aladdin” is finally out in theaters—I’ve been waiting a year! Will you come with me to the premiere? I promise it will be fun!
- I want to see you and please you. Can you tell me a place you've been wanting to visit for a long time? I have a couple of ideas, but I'm open to suggestions.
Emotions 9
Since the date is with a girl you know, it’s not forbidden to invite her to a place where it will be really fun. This is a cinema, an amusement park, a concert, and even sporting events (suddenly she is a passionate hockey fan).
What is the purpose of a first date? Of course, rapprochement. When a person is charged with positivity, has fun, and enjoys tasty treats, then he opens up much more than in ordinary situations. The main thing is not to overdo it. This is especially true when choosing a film and your own knowledge of the world of jokes. In the first case, the girl can fill everything with tears and look like a panda because of the leaking mascara, in the second case, it’s clear: the joke is good, and not just to blurt out, and you also need to be able to tell them.
How to ask a stranger out on a date
How to ask an unknown girl for a meeting is the most difficult task of those discussed in this article. It’s worth saying right away that the chances are slim: in the age of the Internet, few people decide to go on a date with a person they are seeing for the first time. However, here are 5 tips that will improve those chances:
- Stay at arm's length. Do not violate the girl's personal space.
- Speak confidently. It's most likely she who is afraid here. If you do too, the acquaintance will not take place.
- Explain the reason for your conversation. You need help finding an address, you liked her, you were interested in what she was doing or eating, if it happened in a cafe.
- Compliment her, if she looks unusual or simply attractive, ask a correct question related to her appearance.
- Keep in mind that she may refuse. Then ask for her contact information - phone number or social media profile, and chat before scheduling a meeting again.
Planning 7
You cannot make a date based on the “here and now” principle. Firstly, the girl should have time to get herself in order. Secretly, not a single girl, even the most well-groomed one, is born with shaved legs and painted eyelashes. She may have just come home from work, and then: “At 18:00 in the park.” So you can call your wife to buy a new refrigerator. You need to invite someone on a date in advance. Otherwise, the quarterly report may be more important than walking under the stars. Then you'll have to eat ice cream in splendid isolation.
Invitation to a date in verse
An original way that touches many girls. In this case, emotionality is important, not the size of the stanzas and the ideal construction of the quatrains. Here are some examples of how best to invite a girl on a date in verse.
Beautiful creation, I invite you on a date! I want to surround you with my tender care, I admit that I really want to be with you!
I've liked you for a long time, let's go to a cafe or a movie? I ask you, don’t refuse, Because I value you, I’ll tell you when we meet.
I never dreamed of finding a more beautiful creature in this life. You are without a doubt ideal. Let's go on a date today!
Right to choose6
When making a classic invitation, it is extremely important to give the girl the right to choose:
- Film reel,
- culinary preference,
- The cafe itself,
- Date outdoors or indoors.
This nuance will give the girl the opportunity to correctly navigate the planning of the day. Then the date will not turn into torture. As for little things, it’s better not to force your preferences on her. Suddenly she likes chocolate ice cream, not creamy ice cream. And in no case should you ask: “Will you have ice cream?” a normal girl will always refuse. It’s better to face the fact: “What will you like: with nuts or with syrup?”
How not to invite
We told you how to beautifully ask a girl on a first date so that she agrees. Now let's list what should not be allowed to avoid refusal.
- Don't be rude. Call politely, respond adequately to possible objections and changes of plans.
- Don't offer half-baked options. Don’t ask “Would you like to spend time together?”, suggest something more specific like going to the movies, an amusement park, or a walk.
- Don't call at inconvenient times like early morning or late evening and don't interrupt the girl's story to invite her somewhere.
- Don’t say the word “date” itself, it can be intimidating.
- Do not invite in a crowded place where many people will hear your dialogue.
- Don’t invite her to a place where the girl will definitely not be interested.
- Most importantly, don't forget to show up for your appointment!
What if it’s a refusal?4
If the refusal was received at the moment of acquaintance, then the “attacks” must be turned off beautifully. It is better to do this in continuation of the thread of conversation. Something like: “It’s a pity, the ice cream will melt and no one will get it.”
Refusal to re-date is also accepted in the continuation of the conversation: “It’s a pity, but I really wanted to know the continuation, but I’ll have to leave the intrigue.” Then take your leave and leave the lady.
Perhaps this is where the debriefing with the stranger can end. It's time to move on to a date with a girl you know.
Examples of successful phrases
- “Do you remember when we discussed Italian cuisine? Will you join me in a cozy trattoria? They make the best carbonara in the city...”;
- “Let's go somewhere for tea/coffee/cider?”;
- “Currently, “The Name of the Movie” is playing in cinemas, which everyone is praising very much. Would you like to join me?"
All these phrases indicate that you want to be alone with the girl, chat and get to know each other better. At the same time, they contain a certain amount of specificity, which allows the young lady to make a first impression. It is better to include a specific place or activity in such phrases. If this hooks her, then the time of the meeting is a secondary issue.
What is important to consider before the meeting
When walking with a girl, you need to behave calmly, confidently, and remain yourself. Pretense will push her away, so there may not be a next meeting. The success of the walk also depends on the chosen place, the man’s appearance, and interesting topics for conversation.
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Choosing a place to walk
When choosing a place for a walk, you need to think about what impression it will make on your friend. If during correspondence it became known that a friend loves cats, you can go with her to an exhibition of these cute animals. A sports lover should be taken on a ski trip, or invited to ride bicycles or roller skates. If you don’t know anything about her, it’s enough to invite a girl just for a walk in the park or around the city.
Appearance
Guys care about their appearance no less than the fair sex. But choosing clothes to please a girl is a bad decision. Everyone has different tastes. Some women love men in suits, others in jeans and a sweater. Some people like sneakers, others like shoes. You need to wear something in which the guy will feel comfortable, comfortable and confident. The main thing is that clothes and shoes are clean and tidy.
Appearance means not only things, but also the condition of hair and nails. They must be clean and well-groomed. Even if a guy works in a car service center, he should go for a walk with a girl with thoroughly washed hands.
Topics for conversation
Just inviting the girl you like for a walk is not enough. You also need to decide on topics for conversation. They can be different: family, childhood, study, work. You can discuss hobbies, TV series, books, sports, funny stories for a long time. There will be an interesting conversation about travel. Even if you have never been, you can discuss countries and places where you would like to visit, and why there. It’s a good idea to move on to a discussion of human qualities, to find out what she likes in people and in him specifically. You can tell what features of the girl attracted him.
Gift for memory
If you want to leave your friend something to remember you, you can opt for a souvenir. It should be inexpensive, for example, a figurine, keychain, magnet, pen, soft toy. It will be interesting to receive a joint photo in a frame or a postcard. A modest souvenir gift does not oblige you to anything, but it will remind you of your gentleman.
Reasons for refusal and further actions
No matter how self-confident and attractive a guy is, he can still get a lady’s refusal to go out with him. Before you meet her, you need to know why she refuses to go out. The reasons may be:
- lack of reciprocity;
- having another guy;
- her shyness or insecurity;
- employment;
- bad feeling.
Lack of mutual sympathy
When you ask a girl to go for a walk, you need to be prepared for refusal. Most often, young ladies refuse to go out with guys due to lack of sympathy for them. A young man may be unpleasant in appearance, rude, look sloppy, or have a different hair color than the chosen one likes. If a girl once gave her phone number to a man, it means that she did not understand at that moment what she felt for him. Perhaps the gentleman was too intrusive, so she told him the treasured numbers, just so that he would get rid of it.
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How to start dating a girl - a practical guide for a guy in love
Another guy
Another common reason for refusing a meeting is the presence of a significant other. Someone will agree to date both of them in order to decide who to choose, which of them is more interesting, prettier, more caring, stronger. But if a refusal is received, perhaps the couple is serious. What to do if a girl doesn’t want to go out in this case is not to interfere in their relationship. It's better to invite another friend for a walk.
She is scared
Not only a man can be afraid, a lady can also sometimes be afraid to be near a gentleman. She's even more afraid. The girl is tormented by many thoughts: “What if he’s a maniac?”, “What if he starts pestering?”, “He’s strange,” “What should I talk to him about?” Sometimes a young lady is afraid to seem approachable if she agrees to go for a walk with a guy the first time.
You should be patient, she will get used to it if you chat with her on a social network longer so that she does not refuse. After this, you need to offer to go for a walk again. Let it be a morning jog or the way home after work, and not a trip to the park at dusk.
She's busy
If the girl has more important things to do, she will say that she is busy and offer to reschedule the meeting. He may not offer it, then the guy should set the day for the walk himself. Many ladies use this reason if they don’t like their gentleman and don’t want to date him. When a friend refuses to meet each time, under the guise of being busy, attempts should be stopped. Perhaps after some time she will decide to accept the offer.
For no apparent reason
If she refuses to go for a walk without giving reasons, this does not mean that there are none. Something forces her to refuse. Perhaps she doesn’t like the place the guy chose for a walk, or the weather. Maybe she has nothing to wear. This is a common reason in girls. She may be menstruating, so she feels uncomfortable.
