Why guys don't like me: 26 most unpleasant female qualities

Adviсe

• Causes of the problem of unattractiveness
• What kind of women men don't like?
• What kind of women do men like?
• How to become an attractive woman

When a woman turns to the science of psychology or a psychologist with the request “Why doesn’t anyone like me?”, you need to understand what the psychological problem is, whether it is far-fetched. And then find the causes of the problem and eliminate them.

How to Tell If Guys Really Don't Like You

Before you start working on yourself, you need to figure out what the problem is and whether it exists at all. It happens that a girl expects sympathy from a particular guy, does not wait for it and experiences a collapse of self-esteem. The opinion of this young man turns out to be extremely significant for her and overshadows all other assessments. This happens very often with non-reciprocal love.

In this case, you need to “unstick” your self-esteem from the guy, start communicating with other men and notice their signs of attention in your direction. Take a look at the article How to stop loving someone, it will help you.

You can talk about a problem if you have not received any signs of attention from men for at least six months and you have no positive relationship experience. They communicate with you as with a friend, but do not take any steps towards a romantic plane.

In this case, there is no need to panic or sound the alarm, but it is worth thinking seriously about. If action is not taken, the situation can only get worse. The first step is to stop being offended by an unfair world and realize that the problem lies with you. The second is to prepare to change.

You're taking photos of your face too close

In 2012, scientists from California proposed R. Bryan, P. Perona, R. Adolphs. Perspective Distortion from Interpersonal Distance Is an Implicit Visual Cue for Social Judgments of Faces / PLoS ONE Have several subjects play an economic game. Trust was important: participants looked at the people in the photographs and decided how much money they would give them.

It turned out that players trusted those whose faces were filmed from a distance of 45 cm less. They were also considered less attractive and competent. According to researchers, the point here is that we perceive a photo taken so closely as an invasion of personal space.

Those surveyed rated much better those people whose faces were taken from a distance of 135 cm. Keep this in mind when you take a new photo for your avatar.

What guys don't like about girls

Below you will find a detailed list of women's shortcomings. Honestly reflect whether you have them, and start working on yourself.

Appearance

The first thing men pay attention to is a woman’s appearance - this is a fact that we have to put up with. Therefore, I recommend starting your own leveling with image. This is an area where improvements can be made quickly.

So, what turns guys off about girls' looks?

1. Ungroomed. Dirty, unkempt hair, bitten nails, stains on clothes and other similar nuances can ruin your impression of a girl from the very first minutes of meeting you. And it will be almost impossible to rehabilitate yourself in the guy’s eyes. Therefore, do not make such annoying mistakes - watch yourself constantly.
2. Freakiness. If you're looking for a guy with a half-face tattoo and nipple piercings, then no complaints. Your blue lipstick and potato sack dress won't scare him away. But the average guy won’t appreciate such creativity.
3. Vulgarity. You shouldn’t show with all your appearance that you are actively searching. Of course, you will get the attention of men, but you are unlikely to like it. If you want to demonstrate your feminine assets, then choose one thing: either your neckline, your legs, or your stomach. This principle also applies to makeup: emphasize either lips or eyes.
4. Chasing fashion. Fashion trends in recent years have moved far away from traditional ideas of femininity. Most men find them bewildering. Clothes should highlight the beauty of a girl, and not disfigure her - no matter how fashionable she may be.
5. Artificiality. Plastic nails, glued eyelashes, painted eyebrows - all this surroundings sometimes looks scary. Naturalness is the main decoration of a girl.
6. Displeased look. Some girls try to show with all their appearance that they didn’t find themselves in the trash heap. They make a dissatisfied and contemptuous expression on their faces, looking at men as if they were gnomes. From the outside it looks comical and pathetic.
7. Slouching and downcast gaze. Looking at the hunched girl, one gets the impression that life is a heavy burden for her. Problems, complexes and failures seem to pull her to the ground and do not allow her to straighten her shoulders. Naturally, there is little attractive in this.

Communication

Think about the question: is it pleasant to communicate with you? After all, a person reveals himself precisely in interaction with other people. Don't make the following mistakes when talking to guys.

1. Arrogance. Many girls behave arrogantly when communicating with guys: they pull back, lecture, and humiliate by chance. Combined with the disgruntled look we talked about above, this behavior makes them disgusting. Be simpler, take off your imaginary crown, moderate your emotional state - and the attention of men will flow to you.
2. Talkativeness. Listening to an endless stream of words is a very tiring task. Especially if it is meaningless and uninteresting. When communicating with a person, follow the “50/50” principle – half the time you talk, half the time they talk.
3. Silence. It’s also not worth rushing to the other extreme. If a girl cannot carry on a conversation and say something interesting, sooner or later the guys will get bored with her.
4. Coarseness. Swear words, jokes below the belt, indecent gestures - all this deprives a girl of attractiveness. Guys willingly make friends with such people, but they don’t consider them as a soul mate.
5. Stickiness. Girls who are too intrusive and clingy make guys annoyed. After all, men are conquerors by nature. When the prey itself asks to “eat” it, the thought creeps in that something is wrong with it.
6. Whining and complaining. If you try to burden guys with your problems from the very beginning, it is not surprising that they quickly run away. Everyone enjoys communicating with positive and easy-going people, rather than delving into other people’s negativity. Therefore, urgently get rid of the habit of whining for any reason.
7. Intrigue and manipulation. Guys love directness and certainty. If they notice that a girl is being dark, weaving intrigues, or behaving insincerely, then they quickly lose interest in her.
8. Gossip. The habit of washing the bones of your friends has a negative impact on the overall impression of the girl. The interlocutor understands that he himself may one day find himself in the place of his acquaintances, and such a prospect is unlikely to please anyone.
9. Boasting. You shouldn’t tell us what cool cars your relatives drive, how much your vacation in the Maldives cost you, or who from the world of the rich and famous you are on friendly terms with. Modesty adorns any person, and especially a girl.
10. Notations and teachings. Don't give advice to those who don't ask for it. Don’t pretend to be a wise connoisseur of life who has seen everything along the way. Guys can't stand it. Communicate with them as equals, and do not try to stand on top at every opportunity.

Behavior

Pay attention to how you behave in society. If the following manifestations are present in your behavior, get rid of them.

1. Lack of culture. Girls swearing, throwing garbage past the trash can, laughing loudly, make a depressing impression. Mind your manners.
2. Promiscuity. Sexually aggressive girls scare away men. Therefore, you should not demonstrate your promiscuity and hunger for love.

Psychological qualities

We have come to perhaps the most important point on our list. Psychological qualities are much more difficult to change than behavior and manner of dressing. You'll have to work hard to get even a little closer to the ideal.

But without this, all other work is meaningless. When you get to know each other closely, men will be disappointed in you, even if you manage to win their sympathy at first. Therefore, start working on yourself now.

1. Lack of interests. Girls who are not interested in anything other than cosmetics and TV series are called dummies. After just half an hour of communicating with them, the guys become bored.
2. Diffidence. Complex young ladies are completely devoid of spontaneity and sexuality. Even if they are attractive in appearance, men avoid them.
3. Stupidity. The fact that men love fools is a myth that fools invented. Everyone tries to choose a partner who is close in intellectual development.
4. Selfishness. In addition to your “I,” there is also the “I” of other people that needs to be taken into account. Trying to push your interests everywhere is annoying.
5. Moodiness. Princesses and the Pea, for whom everything is always wrong, do not attract sympathy from men. They prefer to avoid them. Few people would like to constantly circle around a girl and satisfy all her whims.
6. Infantility. For some reason, girls believe that men are touched by their helplessness and naivety. In fact, no one likes to babysit an over-aged child. Strive for independence and autonomy - these qualities have been and will be valued at all times.
7. Laziness. Every man wants to see an active and hardworking girl next to him, and not an amorphous creature lying all over on the sofa. Therefore, direct all your efforts to fight laziness.

You sacrifice yourself for the benefit of others

It may seem that the more altruistic you are, the more people like you. But this is not always the case.

In 2010, American psychologists proposed 1. CD Parks, AB Stone. The desire to expel unselfish members from the group / Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2. C. Parks. Your Most Helpful Colleague (Don't You Hate Him?) / Harvard Business Review have several students play with four other people they won't see. They were actually computer algorithms. One of them was either trying to maximize his profits or was very invested in the common cause. The rest behaved with restraint.

At the end of the experiment, students were asked to rate those they played with. It turned out that people who are too unselfish are disliked almost as much as selfish people.

What kind of girls do guys like?

Let's sum it up and draw an average portrait of the ideal girl according to the majority of guys. Preferences can vary widely, but there are basic qualities that attract almost everyone.

First of all, it is femininity. This does not mean a love of floral dresses and bright jewelry. Femininity is a combination of spiritual qualities traditionally considered feminine. Gentleness, kindness, mercy, diplomacy, altruism, devotion. In the cruel male world, there is often no place for them, so the guy instinctively looks for them in the girl.

Next to him, he wants to see a girl who will respect and appreciate him, who will not put up with his brain, weave intrigues and try to manipulate. And, of course, he must be confident in her fidelity and devotion - this is one of the main conditions. Therefore, girls who demonstrate their promiscuity and frivolity immediately cause rejection.

Everyone, without exception - both men and women - is attracted to people's self-reliance, independence and strength of character. A person who is able to satisfy his own needs and even help others do the same has strong magnetism. Those around him are drawn to him as a source of vitality.

Unfortunately, not all girls understand this. The myth that men love weak, dependent and weak-willed women who are unable to take care of themselves on their own is firmly entrenched in women’s heads.

Every man wants to see next to him not just a beautiful female body, but also an interesting personality. A girl should have her own hobbies, goals, principles and outlook on life. She should be able to carry on a conversation, express her point of view, and constantly stir up her man’s interest. This is impossible without self-confidence.

As for appearance, the preferences of men are very individual. They agree on one thing: a girl should be well-groomed. Nobody likes slobs and dirty people.

You have a complex first or last name

As unpleasant as it may sound, people may not only mock those with unpronounceable names, but also intuitively dislike SM Laham, P. Koval, AL Alter. The name‑pronunciation effect: Why people like Mr. Smith more than Mr. Colquhoun / Journal of Experimental Social Psychology them.

Scientists emphasize that names, in addition to communicating gender, ethnicity and origin, can influence lives. For example, it will be easier for a person with an easy-to-pronounce surname to advance in their career. This fact is worth taking into account, although, of course, it is not necessary to run to the passport office.

You act too cheerful and optimistic

On the one hand, it seems obvious that no one likes gloomy people. Research confirms this. For example, smiling increases S. Centorrino, E. Djemai, A. Hopfensitz et al. Honest signaling in trust interactions: smiles rated as induce genuine trust and signal higher earning opportunities / Evolution and Human Behavior trust in a person speaks of his honesty.

On the other hand, others may be overly optimistic, such as openly expressing their own happiness A. Barasch, EE Levine, ME Schweitzer. Bliss is ignorance: How the magnitude of expressed happiness influences perceived naiveté and interpersonal exploitation / Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes is considered naivety, that is, the inability to adequately perceive the world. It is possible that the interlocutors will try to give biased advice to the “lucky ones” and exploit their weaknesses during negotiations.

You don't shake hands firmly enough when meeting someone

A firm handshake is considered WF Chaplin, JB Phillips, JD Brown et al. Handshaking, Gender, Personality, and First Impression / Personality Processes And Individual Differences by people as a sign of a positive attitude to life, sociability and calmness. It is therefore not surprising that in experiments simulating interviews, those who received a perceptible hand shake received GL Stewart, SL Dustin, MR Barrick et al. Exploring the handshake in employment interviews / Journal of Applied Psychology higher scores.

However, it is worth noting two points. This only applies to men (women's handshakes had no effect on their chances of being chosen), and it's still not worth breaking a person's wrist.

You hide your emotions

Researchers emphasize A. M. Tackman, S. Srivastava. Social responses to expressive suppression: The role of personality judgments / Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, that such behavior serves as a signal to others that you either do not want to communicate or are simply not the most pleasant person.

This was confirmed by a recent experiment. Psychologists asked several people to watch funny and sad videos, and their reactions were filmed. Some were instructed to respond naturally, while others were instructed to suppress emotions. Then the scientists asked the students to rate the people in the video. Those who hid their feelings scored significantly lower.

You avoid eye contact

Some people like to make eye contact during a conversation, others don’t. But, as shown by 1. NA Murphy. Appearing Smart: The Impression Management of Intelligence, Person Perception Accuracy, and Behavior in Social Interaction / Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 2. RJ Larsen, TK Shackelford. Gaze avoidance: Personality and social judgments of people who avoid direct face‑to‑face contact / Personality and Individual Differences scientific research, maintaining eye contact is very important. With its help, people involuntarily try to find out more about the interlocutor.

Reluctance to contribute to this may seem like a sign that you are not entirely sincere, or even lying. This reduces your attractiveness in the eyes of the person you are communicating with. So try not to look away during important conversations.

You don’t let your interlocutor talk about yourself or you don’t reveal anything yourself

Sharing some information about yourself is a good way to gain the favor of your interlocutor. To prove this, a team of psychologists from the United States modeled S. Sprecher, S. Treger, JD Wondra et al. Taking turns: Reciprocal self‑disclosure promotes liking in initial interactions / Journal of Experimental Social Psychology communication of people on Skype, dividing the experiment participants into pairs.

In some, the subjects shared information about themselves with each other during a conversation; in others, one person spoke and the other listened. As a result, the level of mutual sympathy among the latter was significantly lower.

Therefore, you should not bombard your interlocutor with questions or, conversely, just sit and listen. The exchange of personal information must be mutual, otherwise nothing good will come of the communication.