It is a common belief that men are more prone to cheating, but the truth is that girls cheat no less often, they are just better able to hide the fact of adultery. Sometimes it happens that one of the partners starts an affair with someone of the same sex. A man may be shocked if he discovers that his wife has cheated on her husband with a friend. This kind of confusion is completely normal.
In such a very unusual situation, you may need advice on how best to proceed. We have tried to provide some recommendations to help cope with overwhelming emotions.
Make sure this is 100% true
First, make sure you don't blame your other half unnecessarily. Ask yourself, is it definitely proven that cheating on her part took place? If she told you herself or you read intimate correspondence with another girl, then this fact will be enough as confirmation.
Meanwhile, it happens that a person learns about betrayal from someone else. For example, a well-intentioned friend talks about his partner's infidelity. But usually third parties only make assumptions without any conclusive evidence. If this is exactly the case in your case, then it is better to try to dig deeper until you can see for yourself that your wife slept with a girl or had an affair on the side.
It can be weird knowing that your significant other cheated on you with another girl. However, if you try to abstract from gender, it turns out that she cheated, and with whom exactly is not so important.
The fact that the wife cheated with a girl raises many questions. For example, why did a friend choose the girl to go to the left? But regardless of the specifics, infidelity means that something is missing in your relationship.
Perhaps there is a crisis in the relationship that you personally noticed only now.
In any case, many important conversations await both of them, which will determine what their joint future will be like and whether there will be one at all.
Ways to forget your lover
If the news of your lover's betrayal hurt you so much that you decided to break up with her because you understand that you cannot forgive her, then you will face another problem: how to forget your ex? The problem is complicated by the fact that you may still love your ex-girlfriend, that is, the breakup was forced, and you are constantly reminded of the fact of betrayal.
Ways to forget your ex:
- Throw away everything that reminds you of your ex. To think less about her and everything she has done, you need to throw away her gifts, things, photographs of her, etc.
- Stop communicating with her. It is strictly forbidden to see her, call her, or talk to her. Even on social networks we remove her from friends so that there is no temptation to become interested in her life.
- Realize the situation. Understand that only a girl left your life. Let your ability to love remain. It will come in handy when you again meet an interesting girl with whom you want to have a relationship.
- Mind your own business. Get busy with work, immerse yourself in your hobbies or daily activities, in other words, take a break.
- Play sports. You can get yourself in shape to meet your future love, thereby freeing yourself from negative emotions through strength exercises.
- Do self-hypnosis. Close your eyes and imagine that your past love is a shackle that prevents you from moving. Want to remove them, get rid of them.
Talk to her ASAP
You have the right to be upset and confused after you receive the news that your wife is having an affair. It’s also completely normal if you don’t want to make any decisions right now. This is the most reasonable approach. However, you will need to muster up the courage to talk without delaying it.
The first conversation should not be about what to do next, but rather focus on gathering as much information as possible.
Remember - it is always better to know something than to assume.
The facts may be even worse than the assumptions, but at least you will know for sure that everything that happened is true. It’s not for nothing that there is a saying: “Better the bitter truth than a sweet lie.”
Now, it is important to ask the wife to be honest and tell about how it happened that she cheated on her husband with a girl. You can start with basic questions such as:
- How did she meet that girl?
- Was she her friend?
- How long has your wife been cheating with her friend?
- Did they have sex?
Feel free to ask whatever you want to know, but be prepared for the answers to be painful. It is important to remain calm and rational so that you can analyze the situation and decide on your next move later.
How to determine your wife's infidelity based on behavior?
Total avoidance of physical contact is not normal; most likely, the spouse has taken a lover. Aggressive phrases of affection or tenderness on your part can be a particularly alarming sign:
- Well, find yourself a lover
- I need to understand myself
- I'm uncomfortable, find someone else, I'm not against your meetings
When a woman is happy that you are away from home for a long time and often, praises you for long business trips and gives all sorts of ideas to keep you out of the apartment for as long as possible, it’s worth thinking about your wife’s fidelity. Is she really alone when you close the door behind you?
Also pay attention to intra-family relationships - if your woman has pulled away, if touch has become unpleasant for her, she often looks away, refuses intimacy, simply forgets to cook dinner for you and during a conversation focuses on the shortcomings of communication, there is a high probability that your wife a more interesting companion for a happy life has appeared.
Too many missed calls from the same unknown number almost every day, or at night, while your wife never answers these calls in front of you (or the number is signed with a woman’s name). This could be an annoying person with whom your wife does not want to communicate, or someone who really needs something from the woman (for example, she could borrow money), or it could be a lover who cannot be hidden from your eyes.
Does she still like men?
You cannot completely ignore the fact that the betrayal was with a girl, and not with a man. Clarifying this point in detail is important for the future of the relationship.
You should ask:
- When did she realize she was interested in other women?
- Was this something she had been thinking about since she was a teenager, or had she only started thinking about it recently?
- Has your wife fallen in love with another woman or has other feelings for her?
- Does she still want men?
Perhaps she didn’t care that she was a girl, and her wife was simply looking for attention and intimacy? Women may cheat because they feel neglected.
Finally, you may need to find out about where she sees herself at this point. Did the wife become lesbian or bisexual or was it just an experiment?
It is important to understand why she cheated on her boyfriend with another girl.
Why women cheat: 5 main reasons
Men, do you want to know why women cheat? 5 reasons for female infidelity are here! Take note so as not to end up with antlers!
From time immemorial, women have been considered monogamous creatures.
After all, since ancient times, a woman has been the keeper of the hearth.
She chose a suitable male for herself, after which she produced offspring from him and remained faithful until the end of her life.
But men, on the contrary, tried to inseminate as many women as possible and leave large offspring.
In the modern world, it would seem that a woman has no need to bother her head with all sorts of nonsense about cheating. However, as practice shows, women can also be polygamous, and their infidelities are sometimes so graceful that they force admiration.
But if everything is clear with men, then why do women cheat ?
What or who pushes them into the arms of other men?
Looking ahead, I will say that, first of all, you, dear men, are to blame for our betrayals!
And if you suddenly find yourself with horns, then only you and no one else are to blame for their appearance.
Want to argue? Let's!
I think you will definitely see yourself in one of the examples and understand the motives for betrayal.
Initially, I want to highlight several of the most important reasons that push us women to cheat:
- Indifference
- Ordinary
- Marriage problems
- Dissatisfaction
- Groundless jealousy
As you can see, a woman has only five reasons for cheating.
I did not take into account nymphomania, since this problem lies much deeper and is more related to the physical characteristics of the woman...
Why do women cheat on uterine rabies or men's guilt?
When wondering why women cheat, it’s worth looking at how men behave.
Having won the favor of his chosen one, the man loses interest in her and begins to use her as a housekeeper.
As a result, she washes, cooks, cleans, and the man just takes advantage of it.
He places his butt on the sofa and demands from his chosen one a delicious dinner and satisfy him intimately before bed.
Remember, dear men, we love with our ears, but you forget about it.
Without words and affection, without cute gifts given for no reason, we begin to think that you have stopped loving us and we go looking for someone who will appreciate our affection and care...
Tough but true!
Well, look at yourself... For a nailed locker door or a repaired shower, you demand words of gratitude, dinner and payment in kind.
Why then do you accept our work as normal and don’t consider it necessary to give at least a shabby flower for 50 rubles?
We would be very pleased with such a gesture.
And we would know that you are not indifferent.
Reason #2. Ordinary life is an important reason why women cheat
At the beginning of a relationship, men are usually ready to go crazy in order to get a woman's attention. They sing serenades under the window.
They arrive at 12 at night with a bouquet of flowers.
They suggest just rushing out of town, jumping off a bungee, or trying to have sex in a public place.
Over time, this passion fades away.
You no longer do romantic things, stop giving gifts and even prefer to have sex under the covers in 5 minutes.
Women, in turn, want to experience their former passion again, they want to be carried in their arms, to walk under the moon, etc.
As a result, they begin to cheat only in order to feel their former passion again!
Reason #3. Why do women cheat or problems in marriage?
Constant quarrels and misunderstandings can also cause a woman to cheat .
After marriage, many men stop appreciating the woman next to him.
They mock, insult and even use physical force.
Tell me, do we really have to tolerate such goats next to us?
Yes, of course, getting a divorce can be scary, so first women start cheating, and only then leave their tyrant husband.
Now tell me, are you really marrying a woman just to beat her and humiliate her?
To look like a male against her background?
Believe me, from the outside you look pathetic and disgusting...and women themselves are fools for putting up with such abomination next to them!
Women, where is your self-esteem?
PS write to me in the comments under this article (your opinion or personal observations), why are women afraid to leave such tyrant husbands?
Together we will sort everything into pieces.
In this case, I want to touch on a sexual topic.
It is believed that sex is more important for men than for women.
Actually this is not true.
Women love him too, and sometimes even more than men!
Yes, yes - it is, we just talk about it less! ?
Very often in the modern world it happens that a woman must satisfy a man’s sexual needs here and now, but a woman’s needs can wait.
Some men even believe that a normal woman has no right to even think about her own satisfaction and all her efforts should be directed only at satisfying a man.
Don't you think it's selfish?
As a result, women go to the side of a man who will think about them and give pleasure.
By the way, it was for this reason that one of my friends began to cheat on her husband.
Her chosen one believed that her friend simply could not want intimacy of her own free will, so he ignored all her hints and advances.
As a result, we can sincerely congratulate her husband and say a huge hello, since he now has horns: branchy and bushy!
Does she still have feelings for you?
It may be hard to accept, but the fact that your friend cheated means that something has gone wrong in the relationship.
You need to find out the reasons why she doesn't feel happy in the relationship. Don't be shy to express your feelings too. If her actions hurt, say so, but try to do so calmly and rationally, without blaming.
Additionally, you will need to acknowledge that you are most likely partly responsible for the problems in the relationship that led to your wife cheating with another woman.
Again, no need to blame anyone. The idea is to discuss your feelings and see if you can move forward together or if it's time to break up.
Ask your girlfriend or wife if she still has feelings for you. This will help you understand whether she wants to continue the relationship or not. If she feels like you should break up, then accept it and get ready for the next chapter of life without her.
Even if you yourself are willing to do everything possible to restore the relationship, it will not be enough if your partner does not want to continue.
In what cases should you break off a relationship?
In some situations there is no right to forgiveness. Even if you are deeply in love with a girl and hope for a happy ending. It simply won't exist. You should break up immediately if the girl cheated:
- With your boyfriend's best friend. Double betrayal from the closest people - this is not forgiven. She knew perfectly well that she was depriving you of a friend, but she still succumbed to the impulse of feelings. Such a woman knows no boundaries, does not respect you and does not think about your feelings. In the future, he may strike an even more vile blow.
- With relatives - father or brother. By contacting your family, she has closed her way into your family. It is impossible to forget about such an act; it will not be possible to maintain normal relations between all parties to the conflict, so the wound will always bleed. In order not to torment yourself, just break up and experience the pain.
- With an ex-boyfriend. A similar situation often occurs in cases where the girl never stopped loving her ex. And you were just a temporary replacement. They parted against her will, and at the first call she will easily switch to another. If you don’t want to be a temporary shelter and number two, break up and find mutual love.
- Doesn't repent. Denies, even when you present irrefutable evidence. Makes fun of you. Compares with another man. He defiantly goes to meet his lover. Gets annoyed, rolls his eyes at your accusations, and says something like “when will you forget about this.” She doesn't respect or value you. At any moment, this relationship will end, and you will spend even more time suffering. Don’t be afraid to break up - it’s better to break up now on your initiative, and quickly come to your senses. And later you will find someone who will truly appreciate you.
- He tells his friends about his affair. Such behavior says only one thing - she does not respect you and does not think about your reputation. The girl, the future wife, must support you and defend your honor. And she does completely opposite things.
Don't cling to relationships that don't exist. It seems to you that you cannot live without her, but this is a wrong feeling. The main thing is to survive the first month, find some outlet to immerse yourself in, and then it will become easier. You will at least have a chance to find a girl who will respect and appreciate you. You deserve mutual love!
Only you can decide what to do if suddenly your girlfriend cheated on you. But you only need to listen to yourself and your desires. Neither public opinion, nor her tears and pleas, nor pragmatic thoughts should stand in the way of your happiness. This situation will become a thing of the past, and you will have to live with the decision - either suffer from jealousy next to the cheater, or miss the best girl in your life. It’s best to take a break and think for a couple of days so that emotions subside and the decision is balanced.
Are you ready to forgive?
Of course, it is important how your friend feels, but think about whether you yourself are ready to forgive the betrayal with another woman and try to restore the relationship.
It is often difficult to accept the fact that you have been betrayed. Pride is suffering greatly at the moment. Listen to yourself and determine how her cheating with another girl makes you feel.
If you want to stay with her, some things will have to change because rebuilding trust won't be easy. Start with an honest conversation about a shared future.
It is highly recommended to emphasize the importance of honesty as the basis of relationships. If you are going to rebuild trust, it is important to be completely honest with each other.
Will she cheat again?
Your significant other slept with another woman and now you are afraid that it will happen again. This is completely normal, since trust in each other has been undermined. To restore it will require a lot of effort on both sides, and most importantly, time.
If the betrayal was unplanned and one-time, then the good news is that the likelihood of recurrence is low. Additionally, if your girlfriend or wife is willing to work on the relationship, you can be fairly confident that she won't cheat in the future.
