When we talk about infidelity, we tend to think more often about men. However, women also cheat on their partners. And this happens often. The only difference between male and female infidelity is the reasons for the actions. It is not for nothing that people say that female infidelity does not exist, there is either revenge or new love. What should you call it if cheating happened with your husband’s friend? This is what we will try to figure out.
Reasons for a woman's infidelity
To understand the real reasons for betrayal, it is important to take into account the characteristics of the relationship between partners, which can be viewed from different points of view.
From a psychological point of view
Treason was brought in as a schema-image of an ideal man, imposed by the mother in childhood. A girl can resort to betrayal and cheat on her boyfriend with a friend, since he no longer fits this definition. In a man’s friend, she can find those characteristics that the chosen one “does not reach.”
READ How to survive your wife's betrayal: from finding reasons to forgiveness
Or the betrayal may not be directly related to the partner. For example, a woman is quite happy in a marriage with a “correct”, intelligent man. If at a young age she was forbidden to date noisy and careless rockers, then, having matured, she can subconsciously find similar traits of this particular type of man in her husband’s friend. Cheating on your wife with a close friend becomes a consequence of the process of finding yourself through processing and accepting your sexuality.
Social attitudes, internal contradictions or protest can also influence the rather difficult, from a psychological point of view, decision to cheat on a partner. In one study conducted by an American group of scientists, it turned out that the very fact that a girl cheated on a guy with his friend gives pleasure due to the violation of moral norms and rules.
With the help of treason, independence and a challenge to public opinion are demonstrated.
From a biological point of view
Neurobiological studies have found that dopamine plays an important role in maintaining love relationships. It is responsible for the formation of an incentive system, a sense of satisfaction, as well as addictions, including those from love experiences.
A woman expects her partner to behave in a certain way, causing not only physical pleasure. Under such conditions, the brain reacts to appropriate actions as rewards. As soon as actions cease to satisfy, the effect of dopamine weakens, which creates a need to find another source of pleasure, which means the likelihood of his wife cheating on another man increases.
The production of oxytocin, the so-called attachment hormone, which occurs when lovers interact closely, also has a strong impact on relationships. In order for the hormone to “work” to strengthen a marriage, spouses must have regular contact: hugs, kisses, sex.
The cessation of intimacy leads to infidelity because the “oxytocin bond” between partners weakens.
From a historical perspective
Until the 19th century, the role of a woman in marriage was quite clear: housekeeping and gene transfer. Over time, the role has changed: women have become more independent, and in a partner they are looking for a person who will become not so much a father of children, but a friend and lover. As a result, cheating on a husband, for example, with his good friend, can happen only because there is a constant opportunity to find a suitable match.
READ Cheating with your wife's friend: reasons for betrayal and how to avoid it in the future
The meaning of the actions of a traitor in a dream
The actions of a wife who is caught having an affair with another man also matter:
- if a woman abandoned her husband, this warns of great misfortune;
- if the cheater becomes pregnant, then you should prepare for unpleasant news;
- sincere confession and repentance symbolize the woman’s trust.
A dream about your wife cheating on you may also indicate a lack of trust between spouses.
Betrayal with husband's friend
The classic love triangle - husband, best friend, wife - is one of the most common. What pushes two close people to such betrayal?
Possible reasons for a friend:
- Attachment to a woman whom I have known for a long time.
- Confidence in one's superiority as a man (essentially, competition).
- The desire to get a “ready-made” version of the spouse, since I studied it at home.
Possible reasons for the wife:
- Decreased or absent sexual activity between spouses due to loss of emotional connections.
- Revenge for a serious offense. As a rule, because the husband is cheating (or there was an incident) with another woman.
- The emergence of a strong emotional attachment to a husband’s friend as a result of prolonged communication.
It also happens that a wife cheats on her husband for a long time and regularly with his friends, which does not speak in favor of her moral principles.
She wants you to spend more time outside the home
It's pretty obvious, but love is often blind, and some men don't always notice the details. Let's say you meet a group of guys who invite you to a game of pool. The betrothed finds out about this and persistently asks to agree, saying something like: “Have fun. And I'll just go to my friend. You shouldn’t spend all your time hanging out with just (insert best friend’s name here).”
It's curious that she hasn't shown such enthusiasm for a long time.
You decide to go, but it's hard to focus on the cues and balls when you feel like she's trying to drive a wedge between you and your friend. Besides, she usually hates it when you go out with your friends, but here... Something definitely happened.
How to catch your wife being unfaithful
There are several ways to determine a woman's infidelity:
- Decreased sexual activity, reluctance to have intimacy.
- Frequent delays at work or with friends.
- Increasing the number of private telephone conversations and correspondence on social networks.
The most obvious sign that a wife often cheats with her best friend is a change in her behavior when a “dear guest” appears. If at first lovers are tormented by remorse, then as the novel progresses they lose their vigilance, becoming more and more excited.
Careful observation of the wife and friend during friendly “get-togethers” may reveal some deviations from the usual manner of communication. Significant glances at each other, supposedly random touching of each other - can be signs of not only friendly relations. It’s worth thinking about if, for example, previously a wife could meet a friend in home clothes and without a hint of makeup, but suddenly decides to change her image. She exchanges her robe for a dress, while carefully adjusting her hair and makeup.
READ How to punish your wife for infidelity and betrayal: various options for teaching a lesson
Video or audio recordings
You don't have to be James Bond to get your hands on some decent, cheap spy gear. These days there are a dime a dozen, but you can also use a regular smartphone.
For example, a husband came home from work early and found his wife and best friend on the couch. They seemed discouraged. The husband who came “remembered” that he had forgotten to buy milk on the way home. He announced that he would be back soon and left, leaving his wife and best friend alone, not forgetting to leave the voice recorder on his smartphone on.
Upon his return, he listened to the recorded sound, in which he could clearly hear the conversation that the “doves” were almost “burned.”
What to do in such a situation
There are some questions to ask yourself in this situation. Would it be easier if it was not a close friend, but a complete stranger? Do you blame your wife for the choices she made?
Regardless of the reasons why a woman cheated on her husband’s friend, the deceived person must first weigh everything:
- Take control of your emotions, since taking any drastic measures requires the participation of a cold mind.
- Talk in detail with your wife: what were her motives, what feelings does she experience, does she want forgiveness or does she want a divorce?
- Understand themselves. If feelings have not yet cooled down, you should decide whether to forgive the betrayal or not.
In cases where a husband cheats with another woman, one should not be surprised that the reaction to his behavior was the reciprocal betrayal of his wife. This can be called a declaration of war. However, revenge is a war in which there will be no winner. This is a “game of selfishness” in which there is only one rule: who will hurt whom more.
How to deal with a “friend”
For a deceived husband, the main culprit and initiator of betrayal will be the comrade, and not the spouse. The fact that a woman cheated on her husband with his friend can even lead to unpleasant consequences, so you shouldn’t get excited and do rash things.
If you think carefully, the friend’s offense is actually more serious than the wife’s fault. By taking such a step, the “comrade” was fully aware of the risk and consequences: he would not only destroy the family, but also male friendship. Even if the woman herself provoked him and deliberately seduced him, he had to remember that a friend’s wife was a taboo. If this thought did not prevent you from committing such an act, then there can be no talk of real friendship.
Having betrayed once, such a person can do the same in another situation. You should break off all relationships with such a person and maintain your self-esteem.
Who exactly dreamed of female infidelity
An important clarification is the fact which spouse dreamed of his wife’s infidelity:
- To my husband. In such cases, experts advise a man to pay attention to his self-esteem. It is possible that the young man is experiencing self-doubt. Another possible option is the desire for intimacy in a threesome.
- Woman. If a spouse saw a dream about her betrayal, then this could be a warning about the machinations and gossip of enemies. Freud gave a slightly different interpretation of such dreams. He believed that the woman had already experienced tender feelings for another man, but suppressed them.
Is it worth forgiving and how to do it
As soon as a man is able to answer questions about what he actually expects from his wife in the future, whether he can forgive her, how future relationships will develop will also be decided. If a husband is ready to forgive the fact that his wife cheated with his best friend and make reconciliation, then he should get rid of negative thoughts and emotions. Otherwise, what awaits him is not a happy family future, but a life poisoned by anger, jealousy and suspicion.
It should be noted that some unhappily married women perceive infidelity as a new type of relationship. In such a situation, she will consider that she is cheating not on her husband, but on her lover, already betraying the feelings of another man. The legal husband becomes just a formality, a stamp in the passport. In contrast, another part of women, due to various circumstances, strives to maintain both relationships with their spouse and with their lover.
In any of the scenarios where the wife cheated on her husband with a friend, the man must make an independent decision, since his internal acceptance or non-acceptance of the situation is important.
General meaning of the dream
According to the general description, the infidelity of a spouse means cold relationships in marriage, quarrels, and omissions. Perhaps the man understands that he pays little attention to his beloved. In such cases, the subconscious can form a probable picture of events.
Many interpreters agree that adultery in a dream foreshadows disappointment, betrayal or changes in life. A more accurate decoding can be obtained if we take into account the details that were present in the nightmare.
A dream about your wife cheating on you may portend a deterioration in the relationship between spouses.
How to avoid betrayal in the family
Even if the reason for the wife’s infidelity with another man was lost romance, passion and everything that is inherent in the beginning of a relationship, you can do so to regain the emotional connection. It is likely that behind the memories of an idealized beginning of a relationship is the belief that there is no room for love and romance in family life.
Many women, tired of the domestic routine, have a tendency and attitude that family is, first of all, duty, responsibility, and work. Living life with pleasure is perceived as something shameful, forbidden and unattainable. It is important to recognize these internal inhibitions in order to release lost feelings.
Therefore, in order to prevent even the slightest possibility of betrayal, you need to:
- Let her know that you see her as a woman. Invite people on dates, give them not only gifts, but also impressions. Take care as if you just met and the relationship is just beginning. She should not only know about love, but also feel it.
- Try to change: take care of your appearance, start going to the gym. Find an interesting hobby for both of you, which brings you closer together. The need for variety and searching for something new with another man on the side disappears.
- A common problem for all men: once sex becomes easily accessible, there is no need to try hard. A woman cannot directly express her dissatisfaction, so you should not shift this responsibility onto her. You need to ask directly and demand an honest answer, and then just start giving quality pleasure to your wife.
- The lack of freedom and personal space often leads to a situation in which a wife cheats on her husband. Total control can lead to thoughts of escape, rebellion, or the desire to do something contrary, for example, by starting a relationship with your best friend. You need to loosen your grip, learn to trust, and also remember that a woman likes to submit to the man who knows how to dominate in a relationship.
- One of the most common reasons is lack of attention. A woman needs a husband by her side. One of the main mistakes of a man is to believe that a woman is not going anywhere. You should try to make time for her, otherwise she will fill her unfilled time space with someone else. You need to go to different places, have fun together, so that there is more leisure time together, and it becomes more valuable for both of you.
READ What to do to prevent your husband from cheating: psychological techniques and esoteric methods
In general, live a full life with your beloved, full of various events and impressions. She will feel that there is a man next to her with whom everything is possible.
Why does a wife decide to cheat? 2
There are many reasons:
- lack of emotional intimacy with her husband. Stands out as the main one. If there is no trust and acceptance in the family, a person lives as if in a case of unspoken words and unfulfilled desires. This situation cannot last long; sooner or later an explosion occurs, which is expressed in suicide, addiction, betrayal;
- dissatisfaction with sex life. This side of family relationships plays a significant role. Even if everything else is calm, failure in sex will lead to divorce. However, experts say that it does not happen that everything is good and everything is bad in sex. It’s just that one side does not notice the problems of the other;
- lack of attention. Here we can say that no one is to blame. The husband believes that he takes care of his wife, disappearing all day at work, getting mammoth for the common hearth. And she lacks the confidence in her own attractiveness and neediness that compliments, hugs and kisses give. Feels abandoned and unwanted;
- psychological incompatibility or unpreparedness for a long-term serious relationship. This can manifest itself on the part of both men and women;
- bad habits of the husband, moral or physical violence.
The reasons may be general or deeply individual. And only one of them is the wife’s sexual preferences. Perhaps there was a situation in which she felt attracted to people of the same sex, but carefully hid it. Family life, which brought deep disappointment, led to the fact that the secret came out. And then he leaves the family, but not for another, but for another.
You introduced them yourself
When a woman meets a man and they begin a relationship, she wants to introduce him to her closest circle - her friends.
And this is understandable, because she wants to unite people who are important to her and already imagines how fun and comfortable they will spend time together. And this is precisely the biggest mistake and one of the first reasons for the situation we are considering. Imagine that a couple of rabbits were thrown into a cage with a wolf. What is the probability that the rabbits will survive and the wolf will be able to hold itself in its paws?
Your girlfriends are women, your partner is a man, right? What is the nature of the sexes? That's right, like each other! And no matter how much a man loves you, no matter how faithful and proven over the years your friends may be, nature, as they say, will take its toll. Female competition mixed with envy will turn on, especially if at the moment there are free ladies among your friends.
A man will unconsciously appreciate the intelligence, beauty, sense of humor, style, body language and other qualities of your girlfriends. What is the probability that you will win on all counts? And the shorter the duration of your relationship, the higher the likelihood that the first prize will not go to you.
Masha can be an athlete with a gorgeous figure, Dasha is a businesswoman, Alina is generally a natural candidate for the Comedy Woman show. Yes, you have a great job, a good figure and beautiful hair, but... Ah, that “but” is always there.
It turns out that when you introduce your man to your own girlfriends, you are doing yourself a disservice by playing with fire.
- Nature turns on, and both sides try to show themselves in all their beauty, strength and glory.
- You are creating the conditions for female competition, which, quite possibly, you may not win.
- This creates food for jealousy, especially if your man is interesting and successful, while your friend is less fortunate or is currently a “free bird.”
