If today there was a female version of the dictionary with interpretations of Ozhegov’s concepts, then, of course, opposite the definition of “treason” there would be a bold, weighty question mark. Why? The fact is that for girls, in reality, everything is ambiguous in this regard. Did you find out that your wife is cheating? What to do? Is it possible to prevent such an absurd awkwardness? These and other equally interesting questions can be answered by reading the materials in this article.
What is considered treason?
Before considering the question of how to catch a wife cheating, it would be advisable to analyze the term itself. The fact is that today there is no (apparently, in the future, too) no consensus on what can be classified as treason. The immediate fact of connecting with another man? Or a kiss? Or maybe phone sex?
That is why it would be best to narrow the boundaries somewhat and discuss the signs of a newly formed romance on the side. How to catch your wife cheating? This is a difficult question, but a challenging one. If from time to time you have an incomprehensible feeling that something is going wrong, it would be advisable to use a very interesting cheat sheet. She will definitely help you figure out who is deceiving you: a friend or a premonition? If you recognize your wife or girlfriend in more than three of the above points, you will have to admit such an undesirable fact: she has started a new affair on the side.
Answers from psychologists
Psychologists say that they are often approached by husbands who want to suggest cheating on their wife. Professionals explain what such an initiative entails and offer a consultation session for the man to identify the true, hidden motive for such behavior.
Such a debriefing, culminating in couples therapy, helps get rid of obsessive desire. Wives come, not understanding what to do with the offer, how to live, realizing that their beloved spouse is ready to provide their soul mate to someone else’s user.
My husband wants me to cheat on him in front of him: what should I do?
It is up to the woman to decide whether to agree to the experiment or not. If the action does not contradict her moral principles and desires, you can support the proposal. It is important to understand what will happen to the relationship between husband and wife after the fantasy comes true. Neither a psychologist, nor a fortune teller, nor the participants themselves can predict the outcome.
For some, legal betrayal becomes an impetus for freedom, the destruction of the tank, while others, on the contrary, draw closer together on the basis of a common “secret”. If such behavior is unacceptable to your spouse, you should not force yourself to experiment to please other people’s “wants”.
My husband likes it when I sleep with others
Men love with their eyes, this explains the popularity of porn films, sexy video chats, and erotic press among the stronger sex. Moscow sexologists conducted a study showing that over the last 10 years it has become more widely used, which involves making love to a woman in front of a permanent partner, her husband.
The audience is men over 40 with a history of active, varied sexual premarital life. Such games make it possible to shake up an alliance that has existed for more than 5-10 years, to disrupt the perception of the wife as a relative, to “want” her.
No complaints!
How to catch your wife cheating? Its first “symptom” is that the woman suddenly stops pestering the man. For some unknown reason, she suddenly stops making scenes of jealousy, being bitchy, and paying attention to a man’s barbaric habit, for example, picking his teeth with a screwdriver or looking at trash cans that are not taken out.
How to recognize your wife's cheating? Of course, a man can happily assume that it was not in vain that he choked on paper during the chime of the New Year - and his wish finally came true. However, it is much more logical to explain such accommodating behavior by the fact that the woman’s focus of attention changed in a certain way, and she simply stopped paying attention to her (most likely, already ex) man.
How to get rid of the fear of betrayal?
It happens that doubts turn out to be groundless, and suspicions arise only from the fear of another loss or betrayal. Psychologist Marta Marchuk believes
that the best and surest way to feel good in any relationship and not be afraid of betrayal, not wait for a catch, not twitch, not frantically check your phone and not look to see if there is lipstick on your shirt is to be a self-sufficient woman. This means being completely independent in every sense, from material to psychological, emotional and mental.
“The fear of betrayal can have many reasons: betrayal in past relationships, betrayal in the parental family, betrayal in current relationships, low self-esteem, codependency in relationships. It is possible to get rid of the fear of betrayal by working through the causes of this fear (in psychotherapy) and creating closer, deeper and more trusting relationships with your partner. Very often, cheating is a form of despair. It occurs because certain desires and needs in a relationship are not satisfied, and a person begins to look for their satisfaction on the side. Why is it so painful to experience jealousy and/or betrayal? When we are cheated on, we seem to receive a message - there is someone better than you, you are unworthy/unworthy of your partner, you are not in first place. That is, the feeling of security is lost, there is a loss of close connection. Cheating is not just about sex. It’s about concealment, about a lie, about a secret, about the fact that you were excluded from a certain zone, your loved one now has a piece of only his territory, a piece of land on the fence of which there is a sign “No entry” for you,” comments Maria Babushkina.
You may not even know about it!
How to understand that your wife is cheating? By the way, a man may not be aware of events. Often a woman harasses him with claims, nags, and also expresses her own dissatisfaction, even if there is no good reason for this, not at all because she is hysterical and sadistic. There is no need to laugh, but this is because she holds on to her man, loves her very much and does not want to ever stop loving him because of absolute banalities. By the way, in women’s language this is called “struggle for relationships.”
How to catch your wife cheating in a conversation? Now, when her affair with another man is just flaring up, the woman has not yet had time to get entangled in unreliable alibis, mess things up and ultimately become mired in debauchery and lies. She is not at all ashamed - rather, on the contrary, she feels good and cheerful. She finally feels interesting and alive. That is why her speech acquires lightness, spontaneity and, it would seem, sincere purity. The only thing is that at the stage described, she doesn’t even care about her man (everything suggests that she’s an ex-man) or what’s happening around her.
How to live further?
Men have a hard time accepting the fact of betrayal. The world is crumbling under your feet, you are overcome by despair, jealousy, and the desire for revenge.
Psychologists give a number of simple tips to help you survive pain and avoid mistakes:
- Don't act rashly . Without really understanding the situation, couples often file for divorce and do stupid things that they later bitterly regret. Sometimes there is only one sign that raises suspicion. For example, my wife started taking care of herself (making masks, going to the gym, etc.). Perhaps she does this for her beloved or to attract the attention of her husband.
- If your fears turn out to be true, pause . Perhaps, when the pain subsides, the man will realize that he is ready to compromise and forgive. In most cases, wives are ready to return to the family.
- The problem cannot be hushed up . It is necessary to find out what the wife did not like in the relationship, what prompted her to take such a step.
- Draw conclusions so as not to repeat mistakes . If the husband is ready to forgive, then it is important to prevent the recurrence of situations that pushed the woman to infidelity.
- Both are to blame . Responsibility for everything that happens in a marriage lies with both parties, so do not remind about what happened if you decide to stay in the relationship.
- Children should not suffer . Even if the family breaks up, children should be given the same attention as before.
- Don't humiliate yourself and don't ask to come back. You cannot show weakness to your cheating spouse. If a woman does not feel respect for a man, expect another betrayal.
What then?
How to catch your wife cheating? Spy stuff is not needed here, it is enough to just catch that same disregard on the part of the woman. By the way, a little later this complaisance and spontaneity is replaced by anger. Why? The fact is that she is beginning to be tormented by remorse.
By the way, it is possible that it will be the man who will be accused of treason. It’s like a protective mask, an absurd excuse for one’s unworthy behavior. However, it will come later. For now there was a blissful calm. And men should think about the fact that such circumstances should, at a minimum, be alarming.
New girlfriends
How to understand that your wife is cheating? The second sign of betrayal is the appearance of new girlfriends. It was a long time ago that she had no one to go to a cafe or cinema with. Now almost all evenings of the week are occupied by incomprehensible Irishkas, Nadenkas and Olenkas. By the way, most likely this is not a cafe at all, but a pre-booked hotel room. In addition, she is not with Olenka, but with some Eduard Venediktovich.
How to catch your wife cheating? It's important to note that these could actually be new girlfriends. The fact is that the old guard most likely will not praise her for Eduard Venediktovich, especially if your couple formed a long time ago. Surely, her old friends have already come to terms with your candidacy and, most likely, have begun to sympathize with the couple in general.
How to recognize your wife's cheating? It is completely logical that she is unlikely to pay attention to men’s absences with friends and all kinds of business trips. By the way, most likely she will even like it.
She looks great
How to catch your wife cheating? The third sign of betrayal is that the woman will certainly become prettier. A sparkle in the eyes, a blush on the cheeks, a mountain of new dresses and shoes - all this is simple and obvious, like naval pasta. By the way, dresses are, of course, good, but when a woman begins to pay close attention to what is under these dresses, it’s worth thinking about.
It is important to note that this does not mean that girls start doing pedicures and deep hair removal, piercing their navels and buying a lot of wicked lace only when they have a lover. However, it is worth agreeing that the relationship between a man and a woman who have lived together for a long time is, to a certain extent, colored by everyday promiscuity.
It’s a completely different matter if a representative of the fair sex is in the midst of a new romance. It is then that she is fully armed around the clock. We can conclude that the life of an unfaithful wife is nothing more than a complete impromptu and challenge.
The most obvious signs of an unfaithful spouse
It is a rare spouse who has never experienced feelings of jealousy.
There are signs that indirectly indicate the wife's infidelity. If you notice several of them in the behavior of your loved one, it’s worth thinking about.
Modern technologies: SMS, calls, sitting on the phone, on social networks
Communication via SMS is convenient if you need to transmit information containing numbers. Another option is for the subscriber to be present at a meeting or business meeting.
It is worth paying attention if your wife receives a call from an unknown number, a man’s voice is heard, many SMS messages are received, and the wife looks at the messages with a blissful look or hurriedly leaves the room.
Short calls, which she quickly answers, also provoke mistrust in her husband.
Most cheating is discovered through SMS. If your wife deletes messages immediately after reading them, this should be alarming. Modern mobile phones have enough memory that there is no need to clear it.
Changes in appearance
When your appearance changes for the sake of your spouse, he will understand immediately , because the woman will require regular verbal confirmation of her beauty in an updated image.
The unexpectedly increased attention to intimate hygiene, intimate haircuts, visits to spa salons and massage rooms, and new creams raise suspicions.
When changes in image (new hairstyles and dresses) are made without the presence of the husband, there is a high probability that the wife will have a lover.
Moving away from her husband
If a young wife cheats on her husband, then her attitude towards him changes.
If she has fallen out of love and feels guilty, then she shows excessive attentiveness, affection and care. If the wife did not love before, she will become more rude and harsh. Even a not-too-jealous husband will notice this.
If the spouse refuses sexual intimacy for various reasons, and the frequency of lovemaking has decreased, then problems are brewing in the family.
If the wife does not experience changes in mood or signs of poor health, then she is having sex with another partner.
Seeks to get more free space
If your suspicions turn out to be true, don’t act rashly
. A striking sign of betrayal is an unexpected ban on access to your wife’s own space . If previously her husband could use her laptop or smartphone, now she does not allow this, throwing a scandal if her husband violated her personal boundaries.
Other behavior
How to catch your wife cheating? The next sign that indicates the wife’s unworthy behavior is that she behaves and speaks somehow differently. By the way, one of the main symptoms of the presence of a new gentleman in a woman’s life and the seriousness of his intentions is a sudden change in the direction of her interests and passions. In addition, if a new man appears, her vocabulary is significantly replenished with new words.
In short, a man should be in significant tension if his wife suddenly begins to argue that it is best to catch crucian carp in windy weather and with pearl barley when he is completely sure: she has never been interested in fishing and is very far from this topic.
Why wives cheat
In order for a wife to decide to cheat, the husband must ignore her for a long time. When a man does not pay attention to his other half, constantly disappears somewhere, does not communicate with her, does not give compliments, then the woman begins to be upset. To raise her own self-esteem and feel needed and loved, she may seek solace in the arms of others. The most common reasons for female infidelity:
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- Sexual dissatisfaction. A woman does not have enough sex or is not satisfied with its quality.
- Not enough emotion. If a husband does not pay attention to a woman, does not please her with attention and gifts, then she does not feel loved, she lacks positive emotions.
- Revenge. When her husband cheated on himself, the woman could not forgive him and decided to take revenge.
- Entertainment. Girls, like men, like to relax and can indulge in an affair.
- Self-affirmation. If a wife does not feel attractive, then she may try to increase her self-esteem and make sure that someone is attracted to her.
Sex with a cheater
By the way, traces of someone else’s influence often appear in an intimate relationship with a spouse. Today there is an opinion that an unfaithful wife avoids her marital duty with all her might. However, this does not happen to everyone and not always.
On the contrary, a woman who has been on a spree can purposefully pay increased erotic attention to her husband in order to reduce his level of vigilance. It’s not for nothing that they say that a satisfied man is an inexperienced man.
Does she always have a phone in her hands?
How to catch your wife cheating on the phone? Of course, you can inadvertently call and start asking leading questions when there are suspicions about her being near her lover. However, today, with the advent of social networks and other communication mechanisms, everything has become much simpler.
An unfaithful woman most likely dreams of spending absolutely all her free time next to a new man, but she cannot always afford this for very obvious reasons. That is why the cheater is looking for opportunities to maintain communication, even virtually. Thus, from now on and perhaps forever, a laptop and a phone become a woman’s best friend.
Whenever you look at her, she always looks at the screen with a loving (and therefore somewhat stupid) smile and blushes pink, and then says that she is performing a very important work function or is developing an incredibly serious conversation with a friend.
It is important to note that the main commandment of a cheater is to avoid leaving evidence, get rid of incriminating messages and mercilessly erase the history of correspondence. However, this commandment is often ignored by unfaithful representatives of the fair sex. Surely, she knows that it is easy and simple to get caught doing this. However, the somewhat vague prospect of being exposed is nothing compared to the wonderful opportunity to re-read several times a day how much they miss her and how much they want her.
It is clear that she will try with all her might to protect her own personal life from the sudden invasion of her husband by setting passwords on her computer and phone, logging into social networks exclusively from her laptop, and also locking her own devices in the closet. That is why a completely harmless request on the part of her husband to use her tablet or phone can give the cheater a heart attack.
Now you know the main signs of betrayal. But don’t take your observations to the point of paranoia. Perhaps your wife is just preparing a gift for you or she has made new friends.
How to make your wife cheat
Women are less likely to cheat than men. And it cannot be said that women are all white and fluffy, super faithful, and men are the worst. It’s just that a woman has much less time and opportunity to cheat than a man. A woman needs to maintain harmony and comfort in the house, do all household chores, and look after the children. In addition to all the household chores, there is also work. And there is not enough time for “left” adventures. A man must try very hard to make his wife cheat.
To make your wife cheat, it is enough to behave like this:
The wife is property, she is his only and will always be so and she will not go anywhere. You don’t have to pay attention to her in the form of gifts, nice little things or flowers; it’s still a waste of time. Leave all this far in the past, because she is yours and will not go anywhere.
Forget about memorable dates, such as her birthday, wedding anniversary and other events.
Or even the ideal option: invite your wife to go visit first, tell them to celebrate without him, when he finishes all his work, arrives, and then forget about it. And when his wife asks why he was gone for so long, the simple answer is that everything flew out of his head.
Tell your wife more often and constantly, suggesting that she has nowhere to go and get away from you. Having married you, she was incredibly lucky, and now her job is to “please” her husband in every possible way and not raise her voice. After all, no one needs her anymore. Repeat this every day.
Tell her that she is terribly fat, that she looks generally ugly and that no man will fall for her, and even women point fingers at her
And it is absolutely necessary to say: “Do you think anyone will pay any attention to you? Well, you're stupid"
Tell her that what she does is simply disgusting. Watching her favorite TV series or listening to her favorite music, say that how can she watch and listen to such nonsense. Reads a book that is interesting to her - “Well, this novel of yours is disgusting”
Basically, no matter what she does, show your disdain. Maybe she has problems at work or some joyful event, she wants to share with you, and you tell her: “I’m not interested in this, I’m tired, leave me alone.”
You can give a bunch more examples.
