The article will tell men how to detect signs of female infidelity and accurately determine the infidelity of their spouse.
It is equally unpleasant for both women and men to find themselves in the role of a deceived spouse. However, if male infidelities are actively discussed, and wives do not hesitate to share details of love affairs “on the side” of their unfaithful “halves,” then deceived men often try to hide the real situation in the family from prying eyes until the last moment.
Possible reasons for female infidelity
If a man doubts his wife’s fidelity, he will have to watch her for a while and only then draw conclusions.
How to understand that your wife is cheating? Clear signs of a wife's betrayal
The most indisputable and irrefutable evidence of a wife’s betrayal can be a frank conversation in which she herself admits what happened. After such recognition, you will no longer have to look for any hidden signs and be tormented by guesses.
However, if you believe the statistics, less than 2% of wives who had sex on the side at least once admitted it to their spouse .
IMPORTANT: A man who suspects his wife of cheating needs to be patient and under no circumstances blame his wife for anything or try to sort things out ahead of time.
A sharp change in the wife’s mood, both for the better and for the worse, should alert you. And if, in addition, your wife began to actively update her wardrobe and experiment with her appearance, carefully read the article below.
The wife can admit to cheating herself
Factors that contribute to cheating
Although men take the brunt of the accusations of cheating, the truth is that the number of women taking lovers has increased by 40% since 1990. Before entering into confrontation or jumping to conclusions, you should carefully examine your spouse's behavior. Those who do not know how to understand that their wife has a lover need to pay attention to a number of signs.
READ My husband found out about my betrayal: how to find a way out of a difficult situation
There are many reasons why married people cheat on each other. More than 40% of married couples suffer from infidelity. Despite the high percentage, most people consider cheating to be an unforgivable sin. The most common conditions in which at least one of the partners has a desire to have an affair are:
- lack of emotional connection;
- sexual and physical disinterest in a partner;
- poor compatibility of lovers;
- financial pressure;
- lack of respect in a couple;
- physical and psychological violence.
Other risk factors include low self-esteem, childhood trauma and the influence of social networks.
The first sign of female infidelity
Periodic mood swings can occur even among the most faithful wives. Also, a sudden desire to change her appearance can occur in a woman who does not even think about cheating.
What is the first sign that will tell your husband that family happiness is under threat?
First of all, in such a familiar and dear woman a riddle, a secret, appears . A look, a smile, words or actions will definitely give her away sooner or later. And she will become distant. Thoughts about another man will come first, so a dreamy expression on her face and deep thoughtfulness are also some of the signs of cheating.
A new image, hairstyle and makeup can be signs of female infidelity
Treason: is it possible to save a family?
In fact, a very common option is not physical, but emotional betrayal: correspondence with “objects” on social networks, SMS, fantasies. And we can’t say that this is a safe option. A serious feeling often grows out of it, and then it is difficult to save the family.
Is it worth it? Everyone decides for themselves. Most try to save the marriage, and, I must say, successfully. Couples need to find a reason and talk it out. You have to survive the insult and be able to move on. And after everything has been clarified, discussed and an end has been put, it is strictly forbidden to return to this topic! If every day is everything, it’s a dead end, you can’t get out of it.
The traitor must realize, draw conclusions and never repeat such actions! Otherwise, it’s also a dead end. Option one - put yourself in the place of your half, imagine an avalanche of this destructive pain... And even better - imagine these feelings before a destructive thought enters your head. Because of lust and whim, you can lose everything that is truly valuable in life.
Betrayal can be forgiven and survived if there is love and respect. You should not share this with anyone you know. They will definitely remind you later and give a lot of emotional advice. It is better to consult a psychologist or specialist. After all, your friends will almost certainly tell you: “But I will never forgive!” But they are not the ones in your place now.
How to recognize your wife's cheating behavior?
You can understand that your spouse is unfaithful by changing behavior. Often a woman, having started a romantic relationship “on the side,” quickly loses interest in what is happening in her own family, from household chores and hobbies to sex with her husband.
All the lady’s thoughts are occupied with the new man. They are distracted by the need to cook food, keep the house in order, and take care of the children. All this begins to noticeably irritate, the woman tries to avoid doing her usual household chores, avoiding the company of household members, preferring to be alone with her phone or tablet.
However, some married ladies, subconsciously trying to make amends and hide the fact of betrayal, begin to behave unnaturally friendly and caring. This is the second common extreme of behavior among women who have broken their promise to be faithful spouses.
IMPORTANT: Any obvious change in the wife’s behavior may be the “first bell.” But this does not mean that betrayal has already happened. Perhaps, tired of everyday life and an uninteresting husband, the woman just decided to add bright colors to her own life.
Cheating on your husband: what next?
Statistically, women experience much more severe remorse after cheating than men. And they often go with this feeling of guilt to a specialist. This is truly one of the best ways to help yourself.
- If you want to deal with this yourself, then look for and analyze the reasons! It will become easier.
- Whether or not to talk about cheating on your husband, I cannot decide for you, but you can ask for his forgiveness both in thoughts and in actions. This will make it easier for you.
- If you are a believer, contact a pastor, this often helps.
- Be careful with confessions to friends and relatives; very often such confessions turn against you.
- Prevention is everything! Talk to your husband, have a constant dialogue, don’t be silent. Dear men, please communicate with your wives! After all, sometimes you can lose a loved one because of stupidity.
- Be sure to rest! Lack of rest and constant stay “within four walls” throws you into the arms of the first person who calls you.
- Men, speak kind words to women. After all, they love with their ears. Even a message once a day with a kind word is already good!
- Live each other’s lives, share your partner’s interests, be interested in his work. You should be united by something other than children.
- If an “accident” happens, still try to maintain the relationship. This is possible if you are important and need each other.
- There is no need to categorically assert that betrayal cannot be forgiven, that to forgive means not to respect yourself. Only very wise and strong people are capable of forgiveness. They deserve great respect!
Signs of female infidelity: 15 points
An unexpected change in a wife’s appearance and behavior is not all that can hint to her husband about her infidelity. There are many other signs, and here are the most obvious ones:
- She always has her phone with her, messages on social media. networks are hidden . Even if the cheating wife doesn’t betray herself outwardly, she will keep the phone as far away from her husband’s eyes as possible. If a woman corresponds with her lover online, then she will probably change the passwords for the pages.
- Diet, fitness, swimming pool. My wife suddenly began to actively take care of herself ; she is very concerned about how she looks. For no apparent reason she went on a diet or joined a gym. Well, we don’t even need to talk about the fact that a woman who had lost weight and pumped up urgently needed new dresses and several sets of openwork underwear. Of course, she will also change her hairstyle and do a manicure. It's simple. She needs to impress her new partner.
- Her best friend increasingly needs help . Today she tearfully asks to sit with the children for a day, and next week to help with wallpapering. A few days later, there is again an urgent matter that the friend is not able to handle on her own. In general, this very friend began to appear in your life too often. But only she herself may not be aware of this, and all the stories about her friend may in fact turn out to be a cover. When the spouse once again goes to “help”, it will be enough to surprise the women and visit them. Perhaps no more evidence will be needed.
- The wife began to stay late at work, attend corporate events, and spend her free time in the new company . She returns from such meetings in high spirits, but it quickly deteriorates at home.
- The wife began to criticize and compare, to set other men as examples , although before everything suited her.
- The woman no longer seeks to spend time together. There are no more cozy family evening gatherings in the kitchen over a cup of tea, she does not ask her husband about work, does not talk about her affairs.
- The wife stopped arguing and begging . She no longer proves that she is right. She silently steps over the socks scattered around the apartment, and silently carefully puts the kitchen cabinet door hanging on one hinge into place.
- She now prefers to visit friends and relatives herself . She explains this to her husband in different ways, but there are always reasons not to go together. He also doesn’t allow himself to be met in the evening.
- She started missing calls . Then suddenly it turns out that the phone is “malfunctioning”, discharged, or even left at home. Of course, none of this is true.
- Advanced training courses, trainings, being stuck at work - all these are reasons to stay late. Well, the phone, of course, will turn on only after the end of the “training”.
- The woman began to avoid looking at her . And if he suddenly meets his husband’s eyes by chance, he will hasten to turn away or leave the room with a preoccupied look.
- She is irritated by any physical contact . Gentle hugs and kisses are a thing of the past. If the husband expresses his dissatisfaction, the wife suggests taking a mistress.
- She complains about a lack of communication . She blames her husband for this, although she herself pushes him away at the man’s first attempt to improve the relationship.
- She no longer meets people halfway in her conversations and actions . All the husband's actions are harshly criticized or ridiculed. It seems that she no longer cares whether the family survives.
- Changes in sex . Marital sex will not remain the same. The wife may completely lose interest in the once desirable man, or, on the contrary, she may suddenly take the initiative and offer a new position or game in bed. But this is worth talking about separately.
One of the signs of female infidelity is indifference to her husband
Indirect causes and physiological
Not only many psychologists, but also society believe that male infidelity is natural. That is, the male part of the population lives by instincts, where the goal is to fertilize females as much as possible. But they rarely think about the nature of women. Of course, they do not have the same natural instinct as men, but they have something else - quality.
And when, living with a lazy, unkempt husband who didn’t want to go anywhere, a girl finds a successful, well-groomed lover who lavishes her with gifts and gives her bright emotions in bed - a mountain of negativity collapses on her and the stigma “Sh” is assigned to her.
Therefore, there are some reasons for betrayal that are not clear to everyone, but they are unchanged:
- Partner quality.
- "The Forbidden fruit is sweet". There are couples in which thoughts about cheating are discussed, in others they don’t even want to hear a word about it. When an issue is not discussed, it becomes taboo.
- Society. It is society, the environment, and propaganda on the Internet that can make women think about betrayal.
Often girlfriends give unsolicited advice and teach you to betray
Sexual signs of wife's infidelity
A sexual sign of female infidelity can be considered a wife's attempts to avoid sex . She either falls asleep before her husband, or finds “urgent” things to do around the house and finishes them when her husband has already fallen asleep. This can go on for quite a long time, and when the deceived husband still manages to get sex from his legal wife, surprises may await him in bed:
- She became cold and indifferent. Passion, mutual caresses and hugs, kisses and games - it’s all as if it never happened. It seems that she tolerates sex with her husband, and does not enjoy it.
- My wife suddenly asked me to diversify sex. Perhaps she has developed new techniques, she has become more relaxed or demanding. This behavior can be perceived as an attempt to compare a husband with a lover - who can give more in sex?
- In a fit of passion, the name of another man flew out of the lips of his beloved wife. There is no need to comment here.
Advice from psychologists: what is the best thing to do if your wife has a lover
If you manage to figure out your wife's lover, you should not enter alpha male mode and attack another man. Let him invade someone else's territory, where he does not belong, but threats or physical violence are a direct path to prison. In addition, it is unlikely that such behavior will seem attractive to your spouse.
Calmness is the key to the right way out of the situation. Finding out that your wife really has a lover is painful. The soul is filled with feelings, but before making any decisions, you should cool down. Don't give in to your emotions and let them control the situation. When it is difficult to calm down on your own, you should consult a psychotherapist.
You should not compare your situation with the cases of other people, because marriage is an individual matter. Each person's unique experience makes it impossible to create a family recovery plan that will work for all cases.
In the event of a divorce, it is important to remember your legal rights. It is in a man's best interest to consult with an attorney about how to protect himself and family assets if it comes to divorce.
READ How to understand that a girl is cheating on you: main signs
Before accusing your lover of cheating, you should collect certain evidence. Ideally, figure out your wife's lover.
Physiological signs of female infidelity
A woman's body can also tell the story of infidelity. Evidence of infidelity may include:
- Foreign odors . Be it the smell of men's perfume, sweat, or, conversely, body odor after a shower. Many men will be able to accurately determine by smell whether their spouse had sex “on the side.” By the way, if after sex with her lover she had time to swim, then she probably updated her makeup and hairstyle.
- Irritation on facial skin . After a passionate encounter, a woman’s cheeks and chin may be left with irritation and redness from male stubble.
- Bruises of unknown origin . On the chest, legs, arms, thighs. And you never know where else. It is advisable for the wife to explain their origin.
What do men think about?
Female infidelity is a betrayal, a strong blow to a man and his pride. The news of a girl's infidelity is almost always unexpected and very painful. Is it worth forgiving a girl's betrayal? After all, the man feels that a replacement has been found for him, he has been humiliated and betrayed. At such moments, a man often has thoughts:
- “Is it possible to forgive your wife’s betrayal?”
- “How to forgive your wife’s betrayal and move on?”
- “Why can’t you forgive a woman’s infidelity?”
and many others.
There is only one piece of advice - you should wait until the emotions subside, and then move on to negotiations.
First, you should listen to the man, the woman will understand what her betrayal means to her husband and then it will become clear whether there is any hope of saving the relationship or not. If the husband has forgiven his wife for his betrayal, the latter needs to make a lot of effort to regain trust.
What is the difference between male and female infidelity
How to recognize your wife's infidelity by looking at your underpants?
Those who are looking for a way to recognize their wife’s infidelity by looking at their underpants will be quite surprised. This sign is not any marks left on the underwear during sex, but the underwear itself.
If buying a new set at least once a week has recently become a pattern, most likely the woman quite often enters into sexual contact with someone she wants to impress. If this lucky man is not a husband, then any other signs of betrayal become secondary.
A wife can purchase sexy underwear before a new betrayal.
Those men who are looking for a way to bring their wife “out in the open” actually need to start from a completely different side, namely, from themselves. While the missus is once again “late at work,” it’s worth thinking about why everything happened this way.
Perhaps the woman’s infidelity was preceded by her requests to be heard, loved and desired? After all, it is often husbands who push women into the arms of strange men.
In many cases, female infidelity occurs at the moment when the husband turns away in difficult times, instead of lending a shoulder. A woman needs male attention, and if she doesn’t get it in the family, she will definitely get it on the side.
Perhaps now is the time to “gather stones”? And if this is really the case, the right thing to do would be not to look for signs of his wife’s infidelity, but to have a frank conversation with his wife, which may still be able to save the family.
Physiology and sex of a cheater
When a woman starts walking, her attitude towards her husband changes not only at the level of feelings, but also in physiology and sex. Quite often, wives stop sleeping with their husbands altogether, avoiding the need to have sex in various ways, for example, going to bed early or constantly citing headaches. However, there are women who, on the contrary, begin to experiment and make sex varied.
You should pay attention to one detail - has sex become mechanical or full of passion? In any case, a wife who cheats cools off towards her husband. If she sleeps with him, it’s without much pleasure, and if she has sex, offering various different options, she does it in order to work them off.
Pay attention to your wife's body:
- Strange odors remain on it that were not previously noticed on it: the smell of men's perfumes, shower gel that you do not use, the smell of sex, etc.
- Her skin is marked with various teeth marks or hickeys.
- Bruises in the intimate areas that appear for reasons that the wife cannot remember.
Also take an interest in the underwear your wife wears. If it has become sexual, your spouse has started buying new things that she does not wear to bed with you, then you can think about cheating.
Psychology: consequences of betrayal and relationships after it
If the consequence of betrayal was not a final break, this does not mean that it will not leave a scar on the soul. Even the strongest and bravest man is defenseless against only one feeling - love. If she is so strong that her own pride is drowned in her, then, strangely enough, this is a chance not only to forgive and accept back the cheating wife, but also to maintain a good relationship with her and never remember her casual affair.
You can often hear: “Be above it.” But as a rule, such a remark concerns some kind of conflicts at work, petty quarrels. But you can also be above treason, above your opponent. It's difficult, but you can always try. After all, how well your family life can develop in the future depends on how much you rise above this conflict.
And if it so happened that your marriage broke up, then try not to hold a grudge. After all, your wife has left, but it will not leave you. Don't let him make moves in your soul. It’s better to find another point of support for yourself and throw off the burden of mental pain. You won’t be able to do this right away; you will have to suffer from this disease for some time. But we must not allow it to become chronic.
If your loved one cheated, should you forgive her?
Not only your wife can deceive you, but also the girl you are dating. There are different types of betrayal. For example, a girl can fall for someone’s advances while she’s drunk. She herself will not be happy with this turn of events. This is exactly the case when you need to behave like a knight: forgive the girl and deal with the unexpected rival.
You can forgive even your wife’s fleeting romance if you see that these violent feelings will not last long. As a rule, a gentleman can run away from his married lover as soon as she starts a conversation with him about starting a family. Such people prefer that the responsibility for the woman lies with someone else. In this case - on you. In the meantime, while your wife plunges headlong into her romance, just think about how you didn’t suit your friend’s life. Maybe you will be the one to fix everything. Just avoid reproaches, feel like you did in your youth, when you were just courting her, trying to be better than your rivals. Have you been challenged? Accept!