Probably, 30 years ago no one asked the question of sexual arousal in women, because in the USSR there was even “no sex”, and children were found in cabbage or multiplied by budding. Nobody cared what the aunts wanted. They had no right to want to: the country was working at an accelerated pace for the good of the nation. It was considered the norm that before sex a woman excuses herself with a headache and eternal periods, because only a girl of indecent behavior could truly desire intimacy. So was general frigidity really moving with heavy steps across the country?
Of course this is not true. It is not for nothing that nature has endowed a woman with erogenous points throughout her body. And everyone wants to experience voluptuous moments of orgasm. It’s just that there used to be sexual incivility, and what is now considered the norm for two people in bed used to look like a perversion. And, perhaps, if a man did not give the woman the highest pleasure during sex, then she helped herself achieve orgasm. There is nothing to be done - you can’t trample against nature.
And then came emancipation, bold experiments, and, thank God, that nowadays no one has a “headache,” but everyone needs THIS. Let's talk today about how to determine what excites a woman, and what signs can be used to understand that she wants sex with a man.
All mysteries have been solved!
Photographer Guy Aroch, model Camilla Rowe
It would seem that you have a thousand articles, advice, discussions with friends at the bar, and you are still not sure whether the girl wants you?
Even if you have almost achieved perfection in recognizing her hints, our advice will still be useful and will not seem obvious.
Do girls want sex?
There is no doubt about this – many girls really love sex. It’s just that not each of them decides to say this directly for some reasons of their own. Well, it is also important to note that if a partner does not bring physical pleasure to a girl, and she has to, for example, fake orgasms, then there is a high probability that she will avoid intimacy with him. But, of course, this does not mean that she does not like sex.
How often do girls want sex?
In general, it all depends on the degree of arousal of the girl and her temperament. Particularly temperamental individuals are ready to come into contact with their lover several times a day. In general, if a girl is not naturally very loving, unlike you, then you can solve this problem if you learn how to excite your partner. Some guys demand regular sexual intercourse from their lovers, not taking into account the fact that their temperaments may not match. If you really want to be with this girl, then you need to thoroughly study her passions and understand what can awaken her sexuality and what can turn her on. Otherwise, misunderstanding and alienation may occur in the relationship.
At what age do women want sex the most?
According to most scientists, the flowering of female sexuality begins from the age of thirty until about forty. For many, this process takes longer - often it depends on the partner who is nearby. Although, of course, there are girls who have incredible temperaments even at twenty years old, but this is not a very common phenomenon. Often, after twenty, they are just beginning to learn all the advantages of intimate life and understand what they like about sex and what they don’t. A clear awareness of this issue and the formation of addictions often still occur by the age of thirty or a little earlier.
Other signs
If a guy met a girl in a nightclub and wants to understand whether he should count on continuing the evening, he needs to take a closer look at her movements while dancing. The following signs will indicate that she is ready for intimacy:
- winks and smiles often;
- does not remove a man’s hands when he hugs her by the hips;
- does not move away from the guy when he presses her to him;
- tries to touch him casually;
- may, as it were, accidentally touch his neck with his lips.
If during the kiss a woman runs her hands along the man’s back and scratches it a little with her claws, this also indicates her sexual desire. A shoe sliding off the foot, exposing the heel, can also hint at the companion’s excitement. At such a moment, the woman does not want to put her shoes back on.
If a girl wants sex, she will try to sit in such a way that the man can see her better. Another clear sign of strong desire is the invasion of the chosen one’s personal space. The fair sex usually does not go close to people who do not seem attractive.
A girl crossing her arms over her chest will most likely turn you away. This posture indicates that she is cold. But a lady who constantly glances at a guy’s lips definitely dreams of merging with him in a kiss. Clenched fists are a bad sign, but open and upturned palms indicate the lady’s passionate desire.
Sight.
It's the most important. At a glance, everything becomes clear immediately. Are you interested in her, does she want you, how is she disposed towards you. A look conveys a lot. She will give you hints, first of all, with the help of him.
She will look at you alluringly, intoxicatingly, excitingly, sexually. She will play with you with all her image that she creates around herself.
Keep in mind that she will read your gaze too. Therefore, he must be strong and courageous. If she looks at you and realizes that you are afraid of her or that you are insecure, you will not turn her on. You will lose your maleness. Broadcast masculinity to the world! Wants to be fucked until you lose consciousness? No question, give her a night that she will remember for a long time.
Verbal cues
To determine that a girl wants you, you need to pay attention to what she says and what topics interest her most. When a woman feels strong sympathy, she can “mirror” the behavior of her chosen one, his manner of communication. Verbal manifestations really often make it possible to determine that a girl feels lust. Here are some examples:
- She gives the guy a lot of compliments, praises his spectacular appearance, admires his deep inner world, character or professional skills. Moreover, most often she clearly exaggerates his qualities. This can be called a direct sign of readiness to move to the next stage of the relationship and get closer.
- He asks when the man last had sex. If she has designs on this person, then she can gently hint that she would not mind having an intimate relationship with him.
- She tells her chosen one that she hasn’t had sex for a long time. By this, the girl seems to be hinting that the man has every chance to improve the situation.
- Wants to know where the guy lives and with whom. Thus, she wants to find out if there is an opportunity to retire at his home.
- Begs to visit. These can be a variety of questions. For example, she might ask if the guy has anything tasty at home, or how he plans to brighten up their evening. With similar phrases, the girl in every possible way pushes the man to invite her to his place.
Advice for men
It often happens that a guy communicates with a girl for a long time, but does not notice on her part any signs of readiness for intimacy. Psychologists give several valuable recommendations to those who would like to speed up the process:
- Women are turned on by a man's charisma, intellectual abilities and good sense of humor. To arouse sexual desire in a companion, a representative of the stronger sex should not be a follower in a relationship, but a leader, and should also show self-confidence.
- Sometimes, in order to interest a girl, you need to flirt with other beauties in front of her. Feelings of jealousy will ignite desire in a woman and make her feel lust. By flirting with his chosen one's girlfriends, a man will show her how good he is. So she realizes that it’s in vain that she doesn’t want to let him close to her.
- Maintaining tactile contact will also allow you to achieve your cherished goal. It is recommended to touch in a way that creates sexual arousal in the girl's mind. Let's say you can straighten her hair, hug her around the waist, take her hand. When she gets used to it, it will be possible to transfer the touches to an intimate format.
The dominant position of a man always excites the female sex. In addition, it is very important to establish an emotional connection with your chosen one, arranging unforgettable dates. Experts recommend that men engage in self-development and self-improvement, be attentive to their companion and make her wishes come true.
Thus, if a guy has designs on a girl and wants to understand whether there is a chance that something will work out for them, you should pay attention to her behavior: how she looks, what she says. There are clear signs that a girl wants you. These signals will tell you about your friend's real intentions.
Wants to please you
Yes, yes, in every sense of the word. But for now she’s only trying to please you with something small - treat you, cook your favorite dish, give an easy gift, perfume yourself with your favorite scent, wear that dress in which you once praised her, buy tickets to the movie you were talking about.
A woman won’t just take care of a man and do nice things for him. This is her way of showing you that you are special to her. You are her man and she views you as a serious partner. Including for bed.
She gets excited and blushes.
Always a good sign. Most often this means that she wants a man. But he's shy.
I would not consider this point separately as a desire to have sex with you. It works in conjunction with other signs.
Here you need to be careful and constantly stir up her interest. Look after her beautifully, pay her compliments, invite her on dates to unusual places.
Also keep an eye on its changes. An aroused woman sends noticeable signals. Just catch it!
What to do if a girl really wants you right now
Weigh the pros and cons
Of course, most young people are flattered by the attention of other girls, and a rare male representative will refuse sex if a pretty person offers to while away a few hours or a night together. And yet, no matter how flattering such an offer may be to you, it makes sense to carefully weigh the pros and cons. Perhaps, at the time of a frank and tempting offer, you will not even think that it brings you more negative consequences than positive ones, but it is still important to remain prudent in any situation.
Do you like the girl?
So, to begin with, it is important to determine whether you really like this girl and could you assume that she will become your life partner at least for some period? Why is this a big deal? If only for the reason that very few girls go for intimate intimacy without expecting that it will result in something at least more or less serious. She may not admit it to you out of pride, but is it really so? What does this mean for you? If you are not really attracted to a potential sexual partner, and subsequently you are not in the mood for an affair with her, then this can bring you a lot of unpleasant consequences. She will tell mutual friends or your next girlfriend about your “dishonesty,” start stalking you, expressing her disappointment, and the like. Of course, if the girl is very proud, then such a development may not happen, but think carefully about whether you are ready to take risks. And in general, it is important to understand that your partner can be very impressionable and amorous, and even if she does not make complaints against you, this does not mean that you will not hurt her. For many guys, this is already a sufficient argument not to enter into a relationship that has no prospects.
Your age.
Of course, your age and the age of the girl with whom you plan to have an intimate relationship are of considerable importance. If this person is a minor, then with all the desire, it is better to refuse such a relationship. It is quite possible that the girl will not have any complaints against you at all, but this does not mean that her relatives will be equally loyal if they find out that you had sexual contact. Keep in mind that you may subsequently receive not only a tarnished reputation, but an unrealistic criminal sentence. The argument that everything happened by mutual consent will not be valid in this situation.
Family status.
You should take into account not only your own marital status - it is also important whether there are serious relationships in the life of a potential partner. As you probably understand, such a romance will not end well if you or your mistress do not want to break existing family ties. Very rarely, betrayal goes unnoticed and has a negative impact on the life of the family. In addition, you should determine for yourself whether your life partner deserves such an attitude, and whether you will be ashamed in front of her, your children (if any) and other relatives if the relationship on the side is revealed. It is also important to remember that the reaction of the spouse or permanent partner of a possible mistress can be very unpredictable and result in very serious problems for you.
All possible consequences.
An intimate relationship can have many consequences, and it is not a fact that you will like all of them. Let's look at some of the negative ones.
- Unwanted pregnancy. If you use contraception or your partner takes hormonal medications, this still cannot be a 100% guarantee that pregnancy is excluded. Remember this when deciding on a casual relationship.
- Statement to the police. If we are talking about a random partner for whom you have no further plans, then be prepared for the upset girl to tell the police that she was raped by you - you probably know that such cases are not at all uncommon. Guys who prefer rough sex are especially at risk.
- Family breakdown, if you are married. Perhaps detailed explanations are not even needed here. Even if your wife forgives you, this does not mean that she will forget about the betrayal - at the most unexpected moment for you, she may decide that she still cannot live with you anymore after what happened. Even if she doesn't immediately find out about your wrongdoing, you will never have a guarantee that this will continue to be the case.
Where to invite a girl if this is the first time
If you are about to have intimate intimacy with your lover for the first time, then it is important to create favorable conditions for this. The further development of the relationship often depends on how the couple’s first sex goes, and it is in your power to make sure that everything turns out as favorably as possible for you.
To my home.
When is it appropriate? You live alone, and your mother, younger brother or flatmate will not be behind the wall. Such a development of events can confuse and repel any girl. If you have established an independent life, there is no dust swirling in the corners of your apartment and, in general, your home creates a very positive impression, then you can easily arrange your first intimate date at home. Surely, you will feel comfortable in your territory, which will have a positive impact on your meeting.
He will ask to visit her.
This is not the best option if you have to actively ask for it. This can also turn a girl off. If she herself does not hint at such an outcome of events, then the most you can do in this direction is to ask: “Maybe we can buy sushi (cake, chips, some goodies or wine) and watch a movie from you.” If this proposal does not immediately meet with enthusiasm, do not put pressure on the girl and do not force her to make excuses for the fact that she is in no hurry to invite you to visit. This means that at the moment she has a reason for this, and it would be the height of tactlessness for you to try to find out this reason by any means.
Rent a hotel room or apartment for the evening.
This option may be the most preferable. If you have the financial opportunity, it is still better to opt for a really good hotel or the most comfortable apartment. The room can be rented either for one evening or for a day. If we are talking about the second option, make sure that the area in which you choose a place for a date is really good. Most likely, you will leave your room or apartment to take a walk or have dinner (breakfast) at a nearby cafe, so figure out in advance where you can do this. And the beautiful view from the window has not been canceled - this will add additional advantages to your pastime.
Is sex on the street acceptable or not?
Everyone has their own thoughts on this matter, so you should, first of all, be guided by your opinion and the opinion of your partner. If you are both adventurous and the thought of being caught by someone during sexual intercourse turns you on, then it certainly makes sense to take a risk. An adventure like this can leave you with memories that will last a lifetime. However, if the girl is not too inclined to such adventures, or you yourself consider such behavior to be wrong, then it is better not to take such a step - there is a high probability that one of the partners will not only not receive any pleasure, but will also experience stress. And in general, it is desirable that a couple’s first intimate relationship should take place in more comfortable conditions.
How to refuse gently
If a girl hints at sex that you don’t want for some reason, then try to make your refusal sound soft - for sure, in a similar situation you would like a similar attitude. You can say that you are very worried, and therefore are not yet ready to have sex with her. You can also say that you haven’t forgotten your past love yet, and it’s hard for you to change your mind, and the like. Do not undermine the girl’s self-esteem, and voice an excuse that seems to indicate that the problem is no longer with her, but with you.
She breathes quickly and deeply.
When a girl suddenly starts breathing frequently and deeply, it looks strange. These things happen subconsciously.
Watch her and her gestures carefully. They may be signs she is giving. She hints at sex.
Sex is always associated with rapid breathing. Therefore, she unconsciously prepares for this state.
Don't question if she's okay. Take action. Move on to more active actions, but carefully. Touch her, kiss her, excite her.
Boy, just don't attack her and scare her away.
Accelerating the convergence process
Even if a man finds out that a girl wants him, it is important for him not to ruin everything after that. Here are some tips from psychologists:
- It is necessary to realize that women love sex. Perhaps even stronger than men. They are able to get much more pleasure.
- Don't be afraid to take the initiative. For a representative of the fair sex, it is extremely important that a man knows how to take responsibility for himself and for the situation. Even if the guy realized that the girl dreams of kissing him, she is still unlikely to take the first step.
- Under no circumstances should you judge a woman or reproach her for her sexual fantasies. It must be remembered that girls often experience fear of not conforming to social stereotypes. They are afraid of ruining their reputation, so they often behave with restraint, hiding intimate desires.
- If a man feels constrained and awkward when talking about frank topics, a woman will also not be able to open up and relax.
Nonverbal signs2
All women, young and old, want to look perfect in the eyes of the guy she likes. And if, next to a representative of the opposite sex, a lady makes any attempts to preen herself, then it is important for her to leave a pleasant impression of herself. Which indirectly may mean her desire to continue communication.
- She straightens her hair, touches her hair, tugs at a strand of hair, or twirls it on her finger.
- She opens her neck, throwing her hair back, or tilting her head back slightly.
- The girl sits in an open position and shows her wrists to the guy with gestures.
- She lets her hair down under the pretext of inconvenience or the need to straighten her hair.
- A modest-looking lady, she laughs loudly enough to attract attention.
- During the dialogue, the girl leans towards the interlocutor she likes.
- She doesn't look away, and seems to be looking at the guy intently.
- Her gaze moves quickly over the man's face and torso.
- She shows off her body by taking off her jacket, exposing her shoulders, chest, and legs.
From a physiological point of view, non-verbal signs indicating sexual arousal can be:
- The pupils, and possibly the girl’s eyes, are dilated.
- Her chest rises high, and her breathing becomes heavier and more frequent.
- She brings her knees together or crosses her legs.
- A blush unfounded by the dialogue appears on her cheeks.
- The voice becomes lower and speech becomes aspirated.
How to tell if a girl is excited and ready
If you don’t notice in time that the girl is already excited, then you can lose intimacy with her. Some people, not finding a response to their calls, seem to “burn out” and then it is quite difficult to “start them up again”. By paying attention to some external signs, you, of course, will not miss the right moment.
Kiss.
Many girls get excited already at the kissing stage, and you probably have noticed this yourself more than once. So what does this usually look like? When you kiss her, she cannot tear herself away from you, strokes your back and neck, and “relaxes her claws” a little. If you are faced with such a situation, then you can be sure that the girl is determined to further developments.
Sight.
Horny women undoubtedly look at the object of their desire in a special way. her pupils are dilated, her gaze is intent, a smile plays on her lips. She may periodically straighten her hair, touch her lips, and coquettishly look away. With her gaze, she seems to be trying to seduce you.
Pose.
The girl tries to take the most seductive pose, showing her partner her most advantageous sides. She also tries to move her body towards you - if you are sitting next to her, she practically clings to you.
Initiative.
She herself is ready to initiate hugs and kisses with you. If this comes from your side, then she actively responds to all affection. She also constantly tries to touch you, to hold her touch.
Intimate topics.
She willingly talks to you about intimate topics, either starting them on her own or happily supporting them.
She wants privacy.
She directly invites you to spend time alone in her home or at your place. These could also be hints: “It’s so noisy here, it even gives me a headache, I wish I could find a quieter place.” Or during a hug: “Okay, let’s not attract public attention, we’re clearly in the wrong place right now.” By the way, in the case of the last phrase, not every young man reacts in a timely manner and offers to move to a more suitable place; often guys do not catch the hint, and are even offended that their companion interrupts the hug.
Mood.
She reacts positively to almost any of your remarks and jokes, laughing or smiling cheerfully. In general, during your communication, the smile almost never leaves her lips, and you understand that she feels good and comfortable in your company.
She gets hot.
Moreover, this happens in the literal sense, and she clearly shows it or talks about it. She can take off her jacket, remaining in just a blouse, explaining this with the above reason. That is, subconsciously or consciously she is trying to get rid of excess clothes. She may also fan herself with a piece of paper or simply state that she is “all hot.”
It is important to understand that all these signs can appear either out of nowhere or thanks to your participation. In the first scenario, you may consider yourself very lucky - this usually happens in the initial stages of a relationship or acquaintance. Over time, in order for a girl to get excited, you will often have to make some efforts.
Appearance
First of all, you should pay attention to what a woman looks like. It is important not to lose sight of the details. For example, if she is wearing a modest outfit that covers almost the entire body (a turtleneck, a floor-length skirt, a long-sleeve sweater), this indicates that this girl is unlikely to be proactive. The chances that she will reciprocate are also slim. However, you should not be discouraged and make hasty conclusions. It's better to watch her more closely.
If a woman is wearing short shorts or a miniskirt, or a shirt with the top button undone, this significantly increases the chances of an intimate evening with her. The color of a woman’s clothing should not be ignored. If things are bright, the lady strives to attract as much attention to her person as possible. She probably doesn't mind enjoying intimacy. If the girl is wearing dull and inconspicuous clothes, you need to keep an eye on her.
Representatives of the fair sex never wear anything just like that. When choosing clothes, girls carefully think through every part of their wardrobe, trying to make the right accents or hide something. Sometimes a conservative appearance may be due to bad weather or the fact that she did not have time to change clothes after work.
