It is much easier when the loss of feelings affects both partners, in which case it is possible to end the relationship painlessly. But what to do if your wife has fallen out of love, and you still have hope for saving your family? The main thing is not to panic, understand the reasons for what happened, and decide whether to return your spouse.
If you are sure that you need her, follow the simple advice of psychologists on how to restore her feelings, what to do if she leaves. Also, become familiar with situations where divorce is imminent so you don't waste your energy.
Why the wife stopped loving her husband: reasons
To understand the question of how to save a family if your wife has fallen out of love, you must first soberly assess what is happening and understand the reasons that motivate her. Feelings never go away suddenly, which means that some kind of push contributed to this. Most often the reasons are:
- financial difficulties, insolvency of a man, inability to support a family;
- frequent quarrels that develop into huge scandals, complete misunderstanding of partners;
- heavy losses, bitterness, for which spouses may blame each other;
- the routine of life, monotony in relationships, lack of passion, flirtation, romance;
- lack of attention, care, any manifestation of feelings in her direction;
- lack of sexual desire, when sex becomes an obligation rather than a desire;
- neglect of it, selfish behavior, preference to mind “your own” affairs;
- lack of communication, spending time together, common interests;
- abuse of bad habits, for example, alcoholism, drug addiction;
- violence from a man, both moral and physical.
Expert opinion
Elena Druzhnikova
Sexologist. Family relations expert. Family psychologist.
To maintain love in family relationships, it is important to spend time together, communicate as much as possible, and have common hobbies. Women need attention, compliments, romantic pleasant actions, and help in difficult situations. A caring, loving man will not have a question about how to return his wife’s love, which means you did something wrong.
More romance
What do girls like? They like to listen to declarations of love and affirm their inimitability. Has your wife stopped loving you? What should a man do in such a situation? Remember about romance, which dies in marriage if it is not supported. What's the problem with most long-term relationships? Ordinary life absorbs people, and they no longer surprise each other with gifts, make surprises and do not try to please their other half. Having established themselves in love, people stop trying. Ordinary life kills feelings. You need to bring newness to the relationship. Surprise your beloved. Bring your girlfriend flowers for no reason, ask your wife out on dates and prepare romantic dinners. Such a good attitude will not go unnoticed. The woman will appreciate your efforts and will soften. But you must remember that romantic deeds for the sake of your beloved should be done regularly, and not from time to time. Otherwise, the melted ice will harden again.
You and your wife have a cold relationship, what should you do? You have a child, but your wife has stopped loving you and spends all her time caring for the baby? You don't need to be jealous of a woman's child. It’s better to try to integrate into a woman’s life and bring romance into everyday life. For example, after the woman puts the baby to bed, run a bath with foam and rose petals and invite your wife to relax after a hard day.
Signs of cooled feelings
In order not to part with the woman you love, it is important for you to identify the problem in a timely manner before it goes away. If she does not directly say that she has stopped loving you, the following signs will be alarming:
- she regularly refuses intimacy;
- communicates with other men, shows interest in their successes;
- sharply changes priorities, increasingly spends time outside the home with friends.
Simply put, a woman becomes cold, uninterested in the affairs of her husband, and shows warmth and care less and less. There are a lot of indirect signs that indicate that feelings have subsided:
- she no longer hides her shortcomings;
- ignores your presence;
- shows unreasonable jealousy;
- shows irritability over small things;
- demonstrates rudeness, selfishness;
- pays less and less attention to household chores and cooking;
- prefers to make any important decisions independently.
This behavior does not always mean that she has fallen out of love, has fallen in love with another man and is going to leave for him. But in any case, all signs are an indicator that the relationship needs rehabilitation.
Will you try to get your wife back after betrayal?
Not really
Compliment a woman
Girls love with their ears. They constantly need confirmation of their irresistibility. Give the ladies compliments as often as possible. Any good specialist will give you exactly this advice. What to do if your wife stops loving her husband? You should rehabilitate yourself in the eyes of a woman. A man should show increased attention to a lady. In the morning you can tell a lady that she looks amazing, and in the evening you can whisper tender words in the ear of your beloved woman. But don't be too zealous in your confessions. Nobody likes obsessiveness either. Dose your tenderness. It must be appropriate. If a lady is going to an event that is important to her, do not forget to wish her good luck; if you are dropping a girl off somewhere, then do not forget to kiss your beloved goodbye, and also say that you missed the girl when you pick her up. Such sweet words always find a response in women's hearts. If you remember all the important dates for a girl, you will also grow in the eyes of the lady. Therefore, set reminders in your calendar that will notify you in advance of all important events.
Is it worth returning your wife if she has fallen out of love?
Not in all cases, returning the wife is an advisable solution. So before you take any action, ask yourself whether it's worth returning it at all. If not only her feelings, but also yours, have cooled down, then it’s better to get a divorce. Controversial situations may be the following:
- you live together, but she wants to leave - first find the reasons for such a desire, make every effort to keep her, and if it doesn’t help, resign yourself;
- if you have children together , this is a good reason to try to keep the family together, if at least one of you still has love;
- there is acquired property - often spouses are hampered by such a situation when divorce is not so easily allowed by issues of division of property, which means this is your chance to gain time.
Try to spend more time together
Have you found yourself in a difficult situation due to your own stupidity? Is your missus not paying attention to you? What to do if your beloved wife has fallen out of love? A man must rehabilitate himself in the eyes of a woman and spend more time with his wife. Change your priorities. If you have a desire to save your marriage, then you will temporarily have to put work in second place. Go to the cinema with your wife, take your girlfriend to social events. If there is a child in the family, then you need to ask the parents to take him with them at least several times a week.
Your wife must understand that she is loved and desired. And a man must not forget to prove this to her. Rent country cottages for the weekend, go to the river or to the forest with tents. Go to resorts or travel abroad. Whatever your family's budget, there is always the opportunity to find a way to have a good and productive vacation with your significant other. But don't limit yourself to just the weekend. Show your feelings in the middle of the week. Return early from work, cook dinner for your wife and invite her to watch her favorite movie together. The more people communicate, the more trusting their relationships develop, and love lives only where there is trust.
How to return the feelings of your beloved wife
Relationship psychology teaches that any problem in a relationship between a man and a woman is always the fault of both. Therefore, if your wife decides to leave you and declares a lack of feelings, find the reasons, and then build on them to find ways to save the family. You can return its location in several ways:
- Frank conversation - choose a moment when you are both calm. After this, try to discuss the problem, analyze the relationship, identify the reasons, but so that it does not develop into another scandal.
- Apology - if you know what kind of offense offended your wife, led to a cooling of feelings, apologize. You can organize a pleasant surprise. Even if you once decided to cheat on your spouse, the chances of forgiveness are slim, but it’s worth trying to beg for forgiveness.
- Make her fall in love with you again - remember for what actions and qualities she once fell in love with you. Try to demonstrate all this again, help her in solving any problems, show interest in her and her life.
- Listen to criticism - try to bring your wife into a frank conversation so that she directly expresses all her complaints against you. After listening to all this, you will be able to soberly assess whether it makes sense to maintain the relationship, whether you can change for her sake.
- Break up - if she wants to leave, give her freedom. Let her live alone, think through all the pros and cons of loneliness, so that she has something to compare with. And after some time, you can meet and discuss whether it’s worth getting together, or whether you’re both comfortable separately.
- Consultation with a family psychologist - specialists save about 60% of married couples. Try to persuade her to go to a psychologist together. If not, visit it yourself to find answers to any questions.
- Let go - if she fell in love with someone else, went to him, demonstrates in every possible way how happy she is in a new relationship, give her freedom. You can say that you are ready to take her back, but you shouldn’t interfere with her new life.
In any case, the surest path is to improve yourself, to work on yourself. Whatever decision you both make, do everything to transform yourself for the better, both externally and internally. Eliminate all shortcomings that led to a cooling of feelings.
“I don’t love my husband”: what to do and how to live on?
The advice of a psychologist will help you cope with the problem, but first of all you need to try to figure out the problem yourself. Perhaps the love has not gone anywhere, the woman is simply tired or many problems have been added that are difficult to cope with.
If the euphoria has passed, this is not a reason to leave your husband forever. Love has many stages to go through. If suddenly something starts to irritate you or you don’t like about your spouse, this is not a reason to leave. Likewise, you should not rush to break up if you find that your views on certain things do not coincide. Disagreements are inevitable and conflicts need to be worked through. Your task is to go through conflicts and reach a positive wave. True love can overcome many difficulties and problems. But you can always come up with something to try to improve the relationship. How to love your husband if you don't?
When it seems to you that you have stopped loving your husband and the time has come to leave, take your time and analyze the situation. If you understand that your spouse still loves you, it will be easier to improve the relationship, but you need to act together.
- Talk, and while talking, listen carefully to each other.
- Make a list of things you have accomplished through your joint efforts.
- Try to resolve all issues together.
- Be sincere with your spouse, trust him.
- Try to spend more time together.
- Give your husband more attention.
A family therapist will help you improve your relationship. He will tell you how to cope with emotions that destroy relationships. But there are situations when the best way out of a relationship is divorce.
- Coasting.
Nothing new is happening in your relationship; you are acting according to a pattern, trying to maintain the relationship. But what kind of love can we talk about when you repeat the same actions and still receive nothing in return? It is obvious that there is no more love.
- Feeling that the marriage should end.
It is very important for a woman to trust her inner feelings, including in marriage. And when you feel like your relationship isn't what it should be, it probably isn't. However, there is no need to rush into separation. You can take a break to figure out what exactly doesn’t suit you, and contact a family therapist. But first of all, trust yourself, don’t step on your throat, don’t go against your feelings.
- Losing one's self.
How to behave if your wife leaves
A cold marriage will sooner or later lead to the spouse leaving. Breaking up can also cause betrayal on her part. What to do if you are determined to renew your marriage? Establishing relationships requires the following measures:
- give time to both yourself and your wife, don’t run after her, causing scandals, and especially don’t drag her back home by force;
- leave her alone, perhaps she left temporarily to take a break from you, the routine of family life, everyday life, and a change of environment will benefit the relationship;
- if she declares that she is not satisfied with the relationship and specific behavior on your part, hear every word she says, realize her misdeeds, work on yourself to prevent this from happening in the future;
- if she lives with another man, don’t try to get her back, become a better person, behave with dignity, there is a high probability that very soon she will realize the mistake and come back;
- restore normal communication in order to maintain contact with her, provide assistance in every possible way in any matter, take an interest in her life.
A kind, attentive, sympathetic attitude towards her will help to quickly return your spouse home. Try to do everything to show awareness of your mistakes and the ability to change.
Be jealous of a woman
Ladies love romance and romantic films. Have you noticed that your wife has stopped loving you? What to do, how to get a woman back? A man should begin to be theatrically jealous of his beloved. No matter how strange it may sound, women like this behavior. They are pleased to see that a man does not want to let them go and strives with all his might to keep them near him. Therefore, do not be afraid to overdo it if you show jealousy not all the time, but only from time to time. The woman will be surprised by her husband’s behavior, which was not typical for him before. But the surprise will be pleasant. The lady will think that if the husband hid his jealousy for so long, then he still has something to surprise the woman with. The lady will stay with the man at least for the sake of interest, to see what else the husband can surprise with. And here the man must justify the woman’s hopes. Prove your love with romantic actions. Beautiful gestures will help not only keep a woman, but also revive fading love.
In some cases, the only solution is divorce
When does staying in a relationship when you fall out of love make no sense? It's only a matter of time before divorce is imminent. There are several signs that a relationship cannot be saved:
- Wife is cheating . If we are talking about a systematic relationship with another man for whom you have feelings, it is unlikely that your attempts to save the marriage are justified and appropriate.
- Moral, psychological violence . If one of you is constantly being abused, sacrificing for a fragile peace, and facing humiliation, the relationship is doomed.
- No compromise . Does your wife blame you for everything, but does not see her own guilt, although it is obvious? It is unlikely that such a policy will lead to harmony; sooner or later the marriage will collapse anyway.
- Different visions of the future . If your plans for your future life diverge radically, everyone sees their future in their own way, the relationship is doomed.
- Lack of any contact . When there is no communication, interaction, tenderness, tactility and even sex in a couple, with a great desire to preserve a fragile peace, this will be impossible.
Well, the main indicator that the solution should be divorce is mutual indifference, lack of respect. Neither children nor common property will be able to keep you together for long.
Advice from a psychologist on getting your spouse back and building relationships
The main assistant in matters of maintaining relationships is a psychologist. He has all the information about what reasons ruin marriages, what causes feelings to pass, and what ways they can be renewed. Tips for getting your wife back and building relationships will be as follows:
- change everything - if before you paid little attention to your wife, now show her the opposite attitude, give her compliments, help, show concern;
- give up accusations - any reproaches lead to disputes, scandals, because of which cooled feelings go away even more; on the contrary, praise your wife for any even insignificant act, support any decisions;
- revive romance and flirting - arrange dates, pleasant surprises for her, arrange such meetings with which you once won her heart at the stage of courtship;
- don’t let the bed get cold - surprise her as much as you can, show how good she can be with you in sex, take the initiative;
- establish trusting communication - only in this case you will always be able to express dissatisfaction and complaints without scandals, and also learn from her in a timely manner what you can do to offend or upset your companion.
