Nine signs that your wife is cooling your feelings
First you need to make sure that on the part of your spouse the love has really gone away. After all, sometimes when a wife says that she has fallen out of love and wants a divorce, this does not mean at all that she is ready to run to the registry office tomorrow with an application for divorce. Such words may simply be a hint that your significant other lacks attention from you.
Or she is extremely outraged by some of your habits. Men tend to understand words more directly, while women often give them completely unexpected meanings.
The following signs will help you understand that your wife is really ready for divorce:
1. The wife no longer makes joint plans, does not tell you her dreams in which you achieve success together, and lives her own life.
2. She becomes more independent in making decisions, does not consult with you when making large purchases, and is not interested in what you think about her new dress or new hairstyle.
3. Your wife stops asking what you would like to eat for lunch or dinner, while she usually continues to cook and do other household chores, but the dishes she prepares become simpler, she does not ask whether you like them.
4. Your wife’s phone starts receiving calls and SMS from people you don’t know. These are not necessarily men with whom she is ready to cheat on you. Just a change in social circle suggests that the woman is not satisfied with the current state of affairs, and she is looking for something new.
5. She begins to be very irritated by some of your personal characteristics - snoring or the habit of reading while eating. Moreover, this does not lead to good-natured banter, but to loud scandals.
6.Your wife stops taking care of herself at home. In itself, this may not mean anything, except that your spouse simply trusts you and does not consider it necessary to “make a mess” every day. But in combination with others, this sign may indicate a cooling of relations.
7. The wife refuses to fulfill her marital duty under various pretexts. She increasingly has “headaches” and prefers to sleep alone or with her child.
8. She spends more and more time outside the home. Again, this does not necessarily mean meetings with strangers. It is quite possible that she simply often attends innocent gatherings with her friends. But if she finds it more pleasant to spend time with them than with you, this indicates a change in her attitude towards you.
9. When raising children, your wife stops setting you up as an example for them. The phrases: “do like dad,” “you will be as strong, (smart, kind, great) as dad” disappear. In return, they receive phrases that carry a negative meaning. For example, “if you study poorly, you will become a loser like your father.”
This is a good test of your family's strength. If the rift in your family has gone far, you don’t have to read any further. Try using magic. It really works, just don’t put it off “for later.”
Household reasons
In our culture, it is very easy and convenient for husbands to “hang” the entire life of the family on their wives. Especially if there is a family with children. To do this, the husband doesn’t even have to be a stern patriarchal tyrant (although such characters can be found in the twenty-first century): it’s enough for him to show his arms out of his shoulders and naively bat his eyes: they say, he’s not trained to clean or cook, and I’m not good with children either. it doesn’t work out - come on, wife, try, you’re strong, you can handle it!
And a huge number of women, even working and earning women, take on all household chores - simply because these things will not be done otherwise! Well, and men... And men are so comfortable - and why would they leave a free cook and housekeeper?
Is it worth returning to your spouse if she has fallen out of love?
Before answering this question, you need to think, do you really want this? If the cooling of feelings is mutual, then it is better to get a divorce. You have one life, spending it coexisting with a person who does not love you, and whom you do not love, will be a big mistake.
Also, you should not try to revive your wife’s love in the case when you absolutely know that she is cheating on you regularly and for a long time with another man. Of course, you can try to fight for your family, but, most likely, this will not lead to anything good.
Often people continue to live together for the sake of children. This is a common mistake. This behavior is harmful not only for spouses, but also for children, for whose sake their parents suffer for years in marriage.
The fact is that, living with an unloved person, we instill in the child the wrong model of family behavior. Whereas, having separated, each of the spouses can remarry, and the children will see normal relationships in two loving families.
Why did I stop loving
A woman's feelings may cool down if she has a lover
It is necessary to understand that a woman’s feelings cannot disappear out of the blue. This is due to certain factors:
- the woman never loved, all this time she was only pretending for her own selfish purposes;
- it seemed to her that she loved, however, over time she realized that it was just affection, love, but nothing more - at the moment the feelings had disappeared;
- another man appeared in the wife’s life, feelings for whom are much stronger than for her husband;
- frequent scandals and conflicts in the family killed feelings;
- heavy losses, financial difficulties led to a rethinking of their priorities, love began to evaporate.
How to get your old relationship back?
Very often, men turn to a psychologist with the following problem: “My wife said she doesn’t love me anymore, what should I do?”
Specific advice for each case is different, but several general recommendations can be identified:
1. Make sure that your wife is telling the truth, that her words are not a provocation, not an attempt to attract your attention. To do this, use the signs listed above.
2.Listen to your spouse. In many families, during a showdown or so-called serious family conversations, there is not a dialogue, but two monologues. Spouses are in a hurry to express their complaints to each other without listening to each other. Try to calm down and, without saying anything, deeply understand your wife’s words. Perhaps her complaints are not so groundless, and with a small change in your behavior you can improve your family life.
3. Don't forget that women love with their ears. Be critical of your actions, do not hesitate to ask for forgiveness for what offended or outraged your wife. For a woman, this is no less important than regular compliments. Don't forget to tell your wife that you love her. The sincere bewilderment of many men: “Isn’t it obvious?” sometimes even leads to divorce.
4.Analyze your past together. Remember those moments during which you both felt especially good. Try to reproduce them. However, you should not try to recreate everything down to the smallest detail. Time has passed, you have changed. For a woman, a few details will be enough to remind her of a pleasant memory - the wine you drank then, the music.
5.Women are very romantic. Don’t forget to give your wife flowers and small gifts for no reason. It is important to maintain a balance here, since daily expensive bouquets can only cause irritation and accusations of wastefulness.
6. Try under no circumstances to appear in front of your wife in a funny or pathetic way. This doesn't just apply to appearance. Don't forget that women love decisive, confident men.
7.Tell your wife about things at work, consult with her. Don’t forget to praise her for good advice, saying: “Yes, I myself think that I should do this. You’re great for me.”
8. Pay attention to your wife’s relatives, try to help them. In a huge number of cases, family love is killed by mothers-in-law and mother-in-law. Try to always maintain a good relationship with your wife's mother.
9. Give your wife personal space and time. Some husbands, trying to regain their former love, begin to call their significant other literally every hour, distracting her from work or household chores. They offer various entertainment, regardless of the fact that the spouse is tired, or they try to completely protect her from her friends. This is fundamentally wrong behavior and can lead to the opposite result.
Need some advice? Write your story My wife told me that she doesn’t love me the way she should love her man, that she is not attracted to me as a sexual partner! In general, love is gone! I love her very much, I really can’t live without her, tell me what to do? Rate:
Kirill, age: 27 / 08/06/2013
Responses:
Hello, Kirill. I sympathize with you very much. But I want to ask you, excuse me, did she have men before you and before the wedding? This is very important for a woman. Women who had intimate relationships before marriage, as a rule, they do not know how to love, are not adapted to family life and often abandon their children or have abortions with a light conscience. It is especially bad if she had more than three men before the wedding. She shook the love, warmth and maternal instinct and stop It’s almost impossible to keep her in the family either. She’s married and with five children, she’ll go out and get divorced. Is she cheating on you? Maybe she's saying this because she found someone? Is it possible to think of her like that? Many modern women do not go into emptiness and loneliness. On the contrary, they are afraid of loneliness and say I don’t like them because they met someone and perhaps fantasized about him, which he did not promise. Be careful, watch her. Does she often lie? Are you often at home? Does she have interests that are detrimental to the home or conflict with family life? Could she come home drunk? Does she really love money, especially free money? There are many other signs. A woman who is fixated on the topic of sex and cannot talk about anything else and swears is also very unreliable. Did she have an abortion before marriage? Any signs of a bad girl indicate that she will not live in a family under any pretext. I advise you to choose modest, economical virgins from intact families for marriage. These will definitely live in the family for many years. Try to reason with your wife, be stricter with her, if she is normal. A man is the master of the house and his wife, but not a tyrant. Remember this. I wish you happiness.
Lena, age: 25 / 08/07/2013
Don't forget to be the person she initially fell in love with, that's the first thing. There are ebbs and flows in relationships. Interesting quotes: The attraction of souls turns into friendship, the attraction of the mind turns into respect, the attraction of bodies turns into passion. And only everything together can turn into love. Confucius. Love is the unity of soul, mind and body. Keep track of the order. Brigitte Bardot If you are missing something from these lists... although when a person loves so much everything should be present... just limit yourself from temptations... again, remember yourself, your behavior in the initial stages. and God is Love! (you can pray in silence)
a, age: 100 / 08/07/2013
Kirill, hello! If you love, you need to try to fix the situation. A wife may have many, infinitely many reasons for such words. Some things you can fix, some you can’t. Try to do your best. How long have you been married? Maybe this is a reaction to everyday life, monotony. Do you show her enough attention and affection? How long have you been talking about your love? I am for proving my love with deeds, but words also mean a lot in the relationship between two loving people. Talk to her about your relationship, tell her that even if you were callous, you are ready to change, let her tell you in which direction you should start changing. Talk to her about love, give her compliments, pleasant surprises, surprise your woman, spend time with her, show her that she is the only one, that she comes first for you, that you love her the same way as when your relationship was just beginning. Love is worth fighting for, your heart will tell you more ways, don’t despair because of these words of hers. Let this not break you, but give you the right direction to change yourself and your relationships. I am sure that time is not lost and you will be together!
Natasha, age: 27 / 08/07/2013
I think she became insolent from your “I can’t live without her.” Most likely you will have to live without her, since Lena’s review is most likely your case. But Natasha is mistaken. It is clear that women want attention, and I am not against it, but I am sure your companion had plenty of it. If she doesn’t love, then the reason is in her, in her actions, and no matter what you do, most likely she will leave, especially if she is pretty and attracts men. In any case, a man should not bring himself to the point of “I just can’t live without her,” and should not be internally attached to his wife, especially when she has male ideas of marriage in her head (which does not attract her as a sexual partner), because . a woman should be above this. I'm sure she's cheated more than once, since she has such ideas in her head. You had to think before marriage, but now you just accept what will happen without complaining about fate. Your problem, as for me, is only in choosing a wife. For her, sex is love. Tell her then that animals are the most loving, because... They do this very often. :-) But in fact, her attraction depends on her mind, how she directs the desire will be so. As a rule, you want what you don’t have, and since you are available to her, her mind already wants something else, because... So I got it and what?.. and no, it’s like something I don’t know myself. In general, it is a disease of this modern materialistic world. Only spiritual relationships that are far from her understanding will help her, because... its essence is the soul, and the spiritual will not be satisfied with the material. This material can also include sexual relationships, which also become boring, and your case is proof of this.
s, age: 30/31/08/2014
Now, a year later, I would certainly like to read the result of this whole story. If the author responds and tells how it all ended, then society will have another clear fact about how to act or not to act in this situation...
MXLpro, age: 27/09/12/2014
Hello, Kirill. I have the same problem (if you're not kidding). My wife leaves, and she is the meaning of my life and is completely depressed. I drink valerian and heart mixtures, walk in the fresh air with the dog, try to get her to talk, and in short, nothing helps, or maybe it helps if I’m writing this. So hang in there and write what you are doing. And yes, do you have children? Does your mother-in-law respect you? loves? mom, dad there? talk to them. But I have no one to be with but you. I would punch the handsome guy in the face or he would punch me, but he is an infection out of reach. It’s easy to let go, only if you have anchors tying you to the place where you and your beloved had a nest; So if you want the best for her and she leaves for someone else and there are no anchors (children, dogs, cats, and you yourself are healthy), let go and take up sports, travel and improving yourself. Good luck and write.
Nikolay, age: 42 / 09/15/2014
I have a somewhat similar situation. The wife also stated that she does not love and does not want. True, I am absolutely sure of her loyalty. There has been no sex for a very long time. I love her, but it’s impossible to live like this anymore. Constant quarrels and swearing. I would let her go to seek her happiness, but we have a small child. I don't want to tear him away from me.
DonJuan, age: 28 / 01/08/2015
I can tell you from my own experience: you can’t step into the same river twice. If it falls off, you can’t put it back. Trying to “fix” something? - what stupidity. Remember: over time, a person never changes for the better, just as any situation tends to develop according to the most negative scenario. All your attempts to “restore the relationship” will, in the worst case, lead to both of you putting on masks of “well-being” and living next to each other, but fiercely hating each other. Let yourself and your now ex-wife go. Accept that neither you nor she will become different. Nothing can be returned back. Tell her thank you for the good memories and let yourself and her go. Maybe your real queen is waiting for you around the corner, who will never tell you “I don’t love you.” In short, don't be a fool. Look for another one, and let this one go its own way.
Sergey, age: 40 / 11/11/2015
A similar situation... We live together because... She’s “held back” by the housing issue, she doesn’t agree to exchange, her daughter is 6 years old, we’ve been together for 9 years. For the last six months I’ve been catching myself thinking that I don’t want to go home... I used to try to do something, but after a while I see that I simply don’t need it...
Vitaly, age: 33 / 05/13/2016
It’s the same with me, only two children. It seems like this is a trend among our ladies. Love has passed, he says - it’s clear that it won’t be the same in the first years. But I love her somehow differently, because she is the mother of my children. I take care of the family - apparently she needs something else.
Andrey, age: 32 / 07/11/2016
I have the same bullshit. We've been together for 5 years. She also said that she loved her and then she stopped loving her. It seems like I haven’t done anything bad, I don’t drink, I don’t shy away from work anywhere, I don’t know what I did to make me stop loving. I read comments like “leave her and look for a friend,” well, here’s how to leave her if you have a 2-year-old child together. Without her, I can’t live with him somehow, but without my son, I can’t. She says we’ll continue to live like this, but I don’t know how to live like this, my hands fell on everything... I don’t want anything. I had so many plans and now I don’t want anything.
Dima Danilov, age: 25 / 07/15/2016
And I have the same problem, I’ve been married for 14 years, I’ve fallen out of love, I say I want emotions, impressions, entertainment, I sit on dating sites, communicate in short, looking for 2 children, that’s how things are, brothers...
family man, age: 35 / 08/14/2016
I also have a similar situation, she says I don’t like it, my daughter is almost 3 years old, but when I caught her twice with other guys, she asked me to leave the apartment, so she took my daughter and then gave her for child support, in general, Santa Barbara season 10. I heard that if you leave, you won’t come back, so they are such nice girls
Kirill, age: 35 / 11/18/2016
And I have the same thing, only worse, I’ve been married for 9 years, two children, I went to see my lovers 3 times, I had them before marriage too, I don’t have sex, I don’t cheat and I don’t understand it yet, apparently a man is obliged to cheat. I don’t want to wake up and I don’t want to love her, it’s just a vile infection that won’t go away. Get well everyone!
Terpilo, age: 29/11/20/2016
In marriage you can forgive everything except betrayal, this is my experience. All relationship parameters are adjusted and changed if desired. Betrayal is a rubicon, a point of no return. What is hidden behind the words “fell out of love” - God knows, maybe it’s a whim or an insult, this also happens to them. But most likely, she is attracted to someone, and it didn’t start yesterday. Measure seven times and act according to your moral criteria.
Mikhail, age: 40 / 12/14/2016
I have a similar situation, only my wife said that she never loved, although we have been together for 12 years, my son is 10 years old. She said she was afraid to repeat the fate of her mother, living without a husband all her life, loneliness. It seems like I didn’t do anything bad, I don’t drink much, I don’t shy away from anywhere, I don’t know what I did to stop loving her, I don’t know, only one thing, but if she never loved, in my opinion it doesn’t matter. I had to live away from my family for 2.5 years to pay off the loan, while I was away I fell in love with someone else, they work together, then I found out that he had a girlfriend, he found out that she had a husband and a son, he didn’t date her, but I see that she hopes, but she won’t take the first step, she told me everything, insisted on sincerity, she said the distance had taken its toll, in general, everything is complicated. But I can’t live without her, she is the meaning of my life and she knows about it. He doesn’t want to break up, like time heals everything, wait and hope that I’ll love you, they say, this is after 12 years together, I also feel sorry for my son, he hears everything and cries, he wants us to be together. She says, like, we’ll continue to live like this, but I don’t know how to live like this, my hands fell on everything... I don’t want anything, I want to die and not suffer, it’s very painful. I wanted to talk to this guy, he is 8 years younger than her, to find out if he is serious with his girlfriend and maybe his wife has hope for his reciprocity, because I only wish her happiness, even without me. She says don’t interfere, time will tell whether he feels that way for her. I’m ready to give everything I have and just leave, forever, because she is the meaning of my existence. I had so many plans and hopes, but now I don’t want anything. I don’t know how to continue living like this, suffering and hoping for her love, I don’t want to, I won’t love anyone else, I think I’m monogamous. What should I do?
Andrey, age: 37 / 12/22/2016
Two and a half years together, then I see that the attitude towards me has changed dramatically. I brought her out for a conversation and remembered old grievances for which I paid in full. That there is no hope for me, because... The entire salary goes towards loans taken out by the family. She can't rely on herself except for herself. She stopped kissing, as it turned out, in order to quickly cool down from her feelings for me. As I found out, this began after a conversation between her and her ex-husband, who had been released from prison and was planning to share the house that her mother had bought. Her ex did not buy this house and did not spend a penny on this house. Due to her youth and stupidity, she designated him as a shareholder during privatization. Now I live like a stranger, without sex, affection or past relationships. Although she gave me a second chance (to find a second job, supposedly that’s the only problem), but I already see that there will be no further life. I want to leave now myself, without waiting for her to start kicking me out again. My opinion is that love and past relationships cannot be returned. Maybe I'm wrong...
Victor, age: 36 / 01/17/2017
What to do? Where were your eyes looking before? Did she fall asleep in love in the evening, and wake up in the morning and that’s it - the love has passed? Most likely, everything was like this. You lived without bothering. And then she got stupidly bored with everything... ironing, cooking, washing. And then one day a handsome guy appeared and at first he poured into her ears more of what you had long since forgotten. Then, against the backdrop of all this, she fell in love, then “unforgettable sex” and once, and twice, and three times…. Only it’s obvious this is the first time with her, since she told you such garbage... I don’t like it, I don’t want it... Explain to her that everything will pass there and it will become like here... and maybe even worse. And if you love... forgive her for the first time. Maybe someone didn’t like it... but this is exactly what our life looks like. Verified
Igor, age: 39 / 01/25/2017
I have a similar situation, but the beginning was exactly the same, now we have separated, she immediately began to cohabitate, although she said that she had no one)) tons of lies and my daughter forced me to lie.) I have never cheated on her in our 8 years, without VP, loved, helped in everything. I suffered for almost half a year, but now I realized everything and realized that there is a type of woman who is a LOVER and you can’t marry them, you have good sex with them and travel together, go to cafes and restaurants - but that’s where the relationship needs to stop. You can’t start a family with such people, it’s like they say, “No matter how much you feed the wolf, you still look into the forest...” and of course, we come across all such women already with mileage))) they make their choice for the banal reason that we are no worse than the others and what is most important is high-resource, and this is normal in the animal world for females, there should be no offense towards them, it’s our fault that we didn’t choose with our heads))
Ingvar, age: 32 / 01/30/2017
I have a similar problem. She said that she stopped loving her, but I love her, and I can’t do anything about it... I turned to a psychologist, it helped a little, now I don’t want to live with her, but I haven’t stopped loving her... Everything is very difficult, but I’m holding on! And now I am convinced that love is not something bright and beautiful, it is pain, disappointment and emptiness!
Denis, age: 39 / 01/06/2018
Also the situation: I did everything for the family, doesn’t appreciate it, said I don’t like it, I’m sitting here drinking. I have everything... I love it, now I have to give up and live again, two children, a small son... everything for them... I have to leave in order to forget her... I can’t...
Alexander, age: 37 / 01/10/2018
I also said that I don’t like it. She started talking. But I was faithful and remain for now. But I didn’t love it either. I loved you once before. Did not work out. She agreed to his love. He did nothing and did not strive for anything in the relationship, my problems are mine. We were together for 5 years, then we left and dated for another 3 years. Have no children. I wouldn't have left. Now we haven't seen each other for 2 months. She writes, calls, wants her to come back, misses her. I told him everything. He says he has received his sight, is ready to change, and is in bed. I can't tell you everything. He is a good, simple man, but I need a Man who respects himself and will not give offense! But in essence, Igor’s advice is probably the most realistic. The lady just needs to put her brains in place. Mine also doesn’t know how to talk or analyze... I agreed to him out of hopelessness and the fact that he confirmed his desire to date for almost a year. I don’t know what to do either. And I'm afraid of new relationships. What will they be like? I’m ready for long-term construction... Lots of thoughts. I think there are romantic people who are monogamous (maybe those who have been told fairy tales about Santa Claus), but it’s difficult for us, to break ourselves, we suffer; and there are pragmatic, calculating ones. I believe that I can find a better person who will not need to constantly manage down to the smallest detail (brush your teeth)
Regina, age: 37 / 02/01/2018
I have the same problem. The wife and child went to see their mother. She says she doesn’t love her! My attempts to return her only turn her away from me Married for 8 years Known since 4 years I love her very much and I can never live without her What I don’t know to do...
Alexander, age: 28 / 02/03/2018
Hello. Don't give up so easily. Convince calmly. Find out what's wrong, promise to change, take responsibility for what is happening, say so. Talk about love, write SMS every day about your feelings, compliments, wishes - a month, two, three, invite you on dates again and again, send flowers. It should work. Try all the methods. Let him regret it later.
Sveta, age: 38 / 02/03/2018
You need to remove the woman from your consciousness as the queen you cannot live without. They simply betrayed you when they cheated or said that they didn’t love you. Take care of yourself, develop, swing, find a hobby and be happy and independent of women. I understand that it is easier said than done, but this is the way out. When you find yourself as a man, then a real woman will appear.
Kolyan, age: 33 / 02/21/2018
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Wife stopped loving her husband because of insults
Women who come for psychological consultations often complain that their men allow themselves to call them names and behave very defiantly with them. Many of these women have suffered emotional abuse. It would seem that a man does not raise his hand against a woman, but humiliates her dignity in every possible way. By driving a woman into a corner, a man prevents her from feeling confident and beautiful. If a wife stops loving her husband
, but continues to live with him, most likely, she has nowhere to simply go. Don't worry, with a little patience, it will be impossible to return her love.
Instead of reconsidering your attitude towards a woman at the first stages of quarrels, paying attention to the woman’s words, her emotions, tears, men continue to humiliate their women. One of my clients told me how her husband told her that no one else needed her but him, so he was calm. He has taken a mistress, he doesn’t want to leave her as his wife, and she should be happy that he doesn’t leave her and gives her at least some kind of relationship.
On the topic of humiliation of women in the family, I have an interesting article: “Psychological violence in the family.” In this article, I, as a family psychologist, describe in detail the stages of gradual emotional dependence in a relationship.
The wife stopped loving her husband - reasons
«The wife stopped loving her husband
" is a popular topic on many television shows today.
All over the country, offended women tell how their husbands abuse them, take away their children, forbid them to meet with friends, limit communication with loved ones and parents, do not give them the opportunity to build a career or do what they love, and constantly keep them in fear and dependent on their husband for money. . The wife stopped loving her husband
because, having given birth to a child, she was left alone with her problems.
The husband continues to lead an idle lifestyle, seeing friends more often than rushing home to his wife and children. The wife stopped loving her husband
because the husband was completely immersed in his career and stopped seeing the difference between the family atmosphere and the work environment, bringing home his businesslike disposition every day, raising his wife at home, teaching her life, as if talking to his subordinates. All these examples are familiar to me from my psychological practice. First, men themselves destroy their families, and then ask the question: “What’s the matter: why did my wife stop loving me?” As a woman and family psychologist, I know how difficult it can be to forgive a person for indifference towards you. Probably, indifference and indifference are one of the most painful feelings. After all, there is no worse pain for a person than realizing oneself is unnecessary and unclaimed. Every person and every living creature seeks affection and care. Our pets are drawn to us, we have tamed them and must take care of them. A woman expects care and support from a man. A man is a leader by nature, his task is to care and provide protection to his loved ones.
The wife stopped loving her husband - what to do?
Has the wife stopped loving
her husband
or has she simply lied all these years about loving her? Was she comfortable in this relationship?
Even after everything is destroyed, some men choose to blame the woman for the situation. Of course, it's easier to think this way. If a wife stops loving
her husband
, it means there is someone else in her life.
Or perhaps there was no love. What if the wife stopped loving her husband
because he behaved unworthily?
How to get your wife's love back
today after everything that happened.
