One night they called me and said that I had to respond to an alarm in the store - this was part of my duties. Tired and in autopilot mode, I replied, “Sorry, I’m not home right now.” At the other end, after a short silence, they retorted: “How do you explain the fact that we are calling you at home?”
Let us not portray blameless angels. We lie so much that none of us remember our first time. Except for especially vivid episodes, and only in cases where we got caught - successful lies are always erased from memory. Because we ourselves believed in him. In the real world it is impossible to survive without lying. If so, let's analyze how to achieve success in this matter.
Photo: Steven Ketchum
Let's start by debunking the myths presented by the film “Seventeen Moments of Spring”. No one will give us, like Stirlitz, the opportunity to spend hours laying out matchstick animals on the table in an attempt to build a plausible version of events. You need to understand that by the time you are ready to lie, you must have a plan of action and a story ready. Citizens from the movie Gestapo could afford to indulge in nagging and marinate the spy so that he had time to create an alibi for himself. All they had at stake was the fate of the Reich, but you are risking your career, family peace or your mother’s health.
Develop a legend in advance
Amateurism and negligence are the key to immediate failure. It's easy to lie to children under five. Their RAM will still erase everything completely, and the next day you will get a clean version, fresh from the press. But if you are going to lie to an adult, then do not deny him the ability to critically analyze. Your version of events should be logical and follow from your usual lifestyle and daily routine. If you have never suffered from a love of painting, no one will believe that you cried for two hours before Pukirev’s “Unequal Marriage.”
But what about an honest person?
An honest person needs to understand that everyone lies.
Moreover, lying does not necessarily have bad purposes. If you are constantly afraid of lying and that you will be exposed, then this will happen. Moreover, with such thoughts you will not be able to lie convincingly. At the end of the article, it can be noted that modern life forces us to lie. Therefore, do not learn to lie on purpose, it will not benefit you. In order to lie calmly, so that no one suspects you, constant practice is required. Practice your skills, carefully monitor your speech and movements during this “bad deed,” analyze the words you say.
Good luck to you in this life!!!
Pondyakova Elena · 05 Jul, 2018
Involve a minimum of third parties
Turning lies into a continuation of “Warrior and Peace” is extremely dangerous. If you have a dubious reputation behind you and your version will be checked, take precautions. First, clearly discuss the course of events with your accomplices. Do you already have convincing details ready? Describe them in detail to your accomplices.
Ideally, the number of witnesses should approach zero. A loyal friend or girlfriend with sufficient IQ, able to remember the date, time and place and present the facts in the correct order. The more people you involve in your plan, the greater the likelihood of failure. Someone will be drunk at the time of interrogation, someone will be driving - and all hell breaks loose.
Women show much more courage and inspiration when it comes to complex designs. I know a girl who involved dozens of people in a system of lying to her husband: she managed to fly to different cities, once even paying for a ticket with her husband’s card. Someone would take her from home “to the bathhouse,” for which she always had a backpack ready: a towel and washcloth on top, shoes and an evening dress underneath, they would come for her, taking their own child for convincing, or her husband himself would take her to friend, but all her routes invariably ended in someone else’s bed. Two years. In the end, of course, there was a divorce, but the network was never revealed.
Everyone has their own lies
Lies occur to us at every step and do not always have malicious intent behind them. You have to lie so as not to offend the person: “You look great,” “You’ve lost so much weight,” “Glad to see you,” “I can’t borrow money, I’m broke myself,” “Thank you, I like it,” etc. This is not even called lying, but politeness. Just like lying to your boss: “I’m sick, I can’t go to work” or lying as a cost of the profession. For example, according to statistics, the most liars are involved in the trade sector - more than 67% of the total. It’s not hard to guess why – to earn more.
An example of this was the most famous liar of the 20th century - Victor Lustig, who managed to sell the Eiffel Tower twice. But in addition to architectural monuments, Victor sold machines for printing dollars, was involved in counterfeiting and other scams, which is once again proven by statistics. Moreover, increased frankness of a person is a disease and one of the symptoms of schizophrenia! Therefore, lying is a certain sign of normality, and in addition to outright criminal intent, politeness and salvation, a person needs a little lie in the following cases:
- Gossip is the main source of lies. Anything that was accidentally heard or specifically spied on will be embellished and exaggerated by the gossiper. Having passed through several curious ears, the story becomes overgrown with incredible facts that have broken many lives.
- Excuses. When in a story a person justifies his action with a lie. For example, when a child hasn’t cleaned the room or hasn’t done his homework in a story to his parents, he begins to come up with excuses like he had a stomach ache or “had to help grandma.”
- Solidarity and empathy. A very common reason for lying. In this case, you may not tell the child where the cat’s kittens went or protect Aunt Katya from an attack by concealing that her friend, for example, had an accident.
- Boasting. The desire to stand out favorably from others forces fishermen to exaggerate their catch, women - the number of suitors, men - the performance of their cars, etc. Moreover, men lie much more often in this case. Freud even theorized that this was due to the essence of alpha males. But in fact, this is a simple need for self-affirmation.
- Self-deception. It is not known who suffers from it more - the deceived or the deceiving. After all, the lying person in this case sincerely believes that he is right. However, before a liar crosses the line of reality, he may lie out of low self-esteem, selfishness, pride, envy or fear.
There is another variant of pathological lying - this is a disease called “mythomania”. This is a clinical case and nothing can be done about it. And sometimes people knowingly agree to be lied to. For example, 61% of women unknowingly consent to lies about their appearance or their partner’s high feelings. If you need to learn to lie precisely for this purpose, and not to sell the Eiffel Tower or maybe the Statue of Liberty, then following the advice will help you achieve mastery.
Control your body
Photo: thedandyliar.tumblr.com
In addition to the tongue in your mouth, you also have body language, which often behaves in a completely treacherous manner. For an inexperienced liar, this becomes a problem: in terms of expressiveness, body language is in no way inferior to verbal means and reveals red-handed behavior no worse than fingerprints. Body language is read subconsciously: it’s enough to be tense, avoid looking in the eyes, fold your hands in a protective position - and now they’re starting to drive needles under your nails. And all the damn adrenaline, which causes sweating, intermittent breathing and unnatural movements. Try to lie on the phone first - this way you won’t be seen. If you have to lie in person, do breathing exercises, calm your nerves and act: straight back, open arms, firm gaze. Just don’t try to drink to relieve tension - you’ll tell everything how it happened, and even mention that incident that’s awkward to remember.
Facial expressions
According to Vladislav Zigaev, if emotions can also be learned to control, then with microexpressions we are almost powerless. This is a momentary involuntary facial expression that people unconsciously show when hiding emotions. Microexpressions appear for a fairly short time and are made involuntarily, they are almost impossible to control.
“They often say about a lying person that “a shadow ran across his face.” This tension on the face lasts literally 1–2 seconds. The manifestation of instant tension in the facial muscles is an accurate indicator of insincerity. It is also worth paying attention to the appearance of an involuntary reaction on the skin and other parts of the interlocutor’s face. This takes into account a change in the color tone of the skin (the interlocutor will blush or turn pale), the pupils dilate, the lips tremble, and both eyes blink frequently,” says physiognomist Shamil Sharinsky.
Control your voice
Take a cue from Frank Sinatra when he sings “Strangers in the night.” I am ready to believe his every word: I swear, everything happened like that. Why? And he puts it well! However, it is easier to deceive a man than a woman. For genetic reasons, women are much more sensitive to the nuances of speech and isolate inconsistencies from what they hear. It is this ability that allows them to hear the cry of their baby amid the roar of an electric meat grinder. The highest category of complexity is wives and mothers. During the time you spent together, your speech was recorded in their memory in the form of a certain set of vibrations (don’t delude yourself that women are interested in what you weave every day). Deviations in timbre and tempo are immediately registered and raise suspicion. It’s better to lie to men, so the risk of getting caught is much less. But in all cases, follow simple rules: relax your abdominal muscles, free your breath, breathe evenly. Laugh in the right places, there is nothing more useful for distracting attention than laughter.
Believe in everything yourself
The universal and invincible way to lie is to believe yourself that it was so. This is a major league Oscar nomination for Lies. However, only true artists are capable of this. The inspired chatter of these citizens will find a way to any heart: their eyes glow with a restrained brilliance, their voice lulls, their gestures inspire confidence, and now Konstantin Sergeevich wipes away an old tear, saying: “Darling, I believe you.” This requires time and preparation. Rehearse your part in front of the mirror, looking deep into your soul, memorize it from beginning to end and back again, until your legend begins to appear in your dreams.
Don't lie to your loved ones and those who love you
You can think through your line of behavior many moves ahead. You can practice brilliant acting skills in front of the mirror and develop the most believable intonations. You will provide yourself with an alibi, witnesses, a second line of defense and an escape route.
But they still know the truth. This cannot be scientifically explained; we don’t believe in all this “feels in the heart” and “dreams in a dream.” Let's put it another way: a special non-verbal psychophysiological contact is established between some people, thanks to which they unconsciously feel the slightest changes in each other's state. So it's better not to even try. It still won't work.
What secrets of successful deception can our readers share? Only honestly!
Attack!
Photo: claytonology.weebly.com
Politicians are genetically predisposed creatures that inhabit our planet. In addition to natural hypnotic abilities, they usually also master methods of diverting attention. If you fall for a lie, use their know-how. There is no better defense than attack - remind your opponent of an episode from the past when he behaved reprehensibly. It doesn’t matter whether it has anything to do with your lying, it’s important for you to shift the blame from your head to a healthy one. Demagogy and self-confidence are the best helpers here: “How could you lie to me?” - “How could you not love my grandmother? She moved from Shchuchin just to be closer to you!” - and the conversation immediately takes a direction that is favorable to you. The best politicians immediately came up with offensive nicknames for their opponents based on physical and personal characteristics, but I do not recommend this method to you. Especially if you have to lie to your mother or wife.
Use distraction and switching
A true master of deception, like the Spanish matador, draws his sword only at the decisive moment and delivers only one blow. The rest of the time, he skillfully distracts the victim's attention with the help of skillful movements of his red cloak. The art of lying uses similar techniques, and sometimes skillfully switching the interlocutor’s attention to another object or changing the topic of conversation eliminates the need to lie altogether. Think over your line of behavior in advance in such a way that you don’t have to tell a lie at all. Just be careful not to overdo it, because incompetent use of a muleta can cost the matador his life!
Deny everything
Common sense, logic, even video recordings - everything gives way to the reinforced concrete word “no”. If you lie to your loved ones, the task becomes easier - they are obviously determined to forgive you.
My friend's wife once found a pack of condoms in his bag. She carefully cut each one in half and put the pack back, fastening the clasp. Since then, not one of them has mentioned the incident, but each has drawn appropriate conclusions for themselves.
People can cheat on their spouses on a schedule for years, while the other half will know where and why the first one is going every Saturday - everything, right down to the exact address. And don't make any noise. Only the most consistent of people will seek your final fiasco. If they behave this way, chances are your relationship is in a coma. You will certainly be acquitted, just be patient. The main thing is don’t even try to show weakness and start apologizing!
Train your memory
Photo: weblyest.com
As you enter the slippery slope of being a liar, remember that you will have to keep all the details of your essays in mind. A good liar is like a chess player: in cases of multi-move combinations, he keeps all the threads under control, like a spider in a web. Only a complete idiot would take notes, it’s better to admit everything right away, the result is still the same. Laziness of mind is punished by exposure. A friend of mine had a strong passion for order; she kept all her vacation photos, both with her husband and with her lover, in the “Vacation” folder on her work computer. Convenient and no need to search. Needless to say, her husband once stopped by her office asking her to send a couple of emails?
Lying is akin to high art. It combines acting and math skills, trains mental flexibility, memory and in the long run promotes longevity of the brain. If it were not for the moral and ethical nuances, I would recommend lying in a high school course. Alas, at the moment we are left with crosswords, puzzles and macramé courses.
