7 ways to avoid drowning in negativity

Let's talk about how to react to negativity and what to do with the emotions that usually accompany it - anger, resentment and irritation.

Have you ever noticed this: if something really upsets you, then the rest of the day goes “wrong”? You were rude in the store, scolded at work, and now a chain of
negative events
: from a coat splashed with mud to the failure of a contract worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

If you were offended by a loved one, you quarreled, or worse, broke up, don’t wait for time to heal the wounds and everything will return to normal on its own.

Find out what to do to fix everything >>>

Why does just one negative event cause a whole chain of negative reactions?

Change your body language

Pay attention to your body when you are overwhelmed by negative emotions. Look at your face: the corners of your mouth are downturned, your forehead is furrowed. How do you hold your back? Are you slouching?

If your head is a breeding ground for negative thoughts, your body will behave accordingly. And when such thoughts become constant, it gets used to this situation. You've probably seen people with a mask of contempt or anger on their face, which persists in any situation.

This also works in the opposite direction: a tense body position and a frowning face do not create the best mood. This means that your first step to get rid of bad thoughts will be to change your posture and facial expression. Straighten your back and straighten your shoulders. Feel where the tension has accumulated in your body, and relax, smile. Within a few moments you will feel that the emotional background is changing.

What to do when you quit?

Each of us has our own endurance threshold. If the dismissal occurs, then most experience shock: yesterday there were plans and stability, but today there is a feeling that you are overboard, a box of things in your hands and complete confusion. How to get through a difficult period?

Let's return to reality. Stop mourning yourself and start taking action: write a resume, actively look for another job, maintain a professional level, sign up for webinars.
Left alone with yourself, think about your mistakes, and honestly admit: were you suitable for the position you held, did you cope with the work, did you cooperate properly with the team. Work on your mistakes.

IMPORTANT! Don’t put yourself in the position of an unfortunate victim, don’t hold a grudge against your former boss, don’t withdraw into yourself.

The work process causes constant worry and emotional stress for many people. But it is extremely important to be able to distinguish between the stages of the work day and the time you spend at home.
In the workplace, you need to establish relationships with colleagues, radiate positivity and a desire to cooperate. The overall atmosphere depends on each member of the team.
All situations can be resolved, including mistakes and dismissals. It would be better and smarter to treat them as invaluable experience and continue to conquer peaks.

Get creative

When you are bombarded with negative thoughts, you can spend some time being creative. It works just like talking, except you don't have to bother anyone with your problems. You can do anything: write prose or poetry, draw with a pencil or paints. Finally, dance.

The release of emotions through creativity is a kind of art therapy that will not only provide relaxation, but also lift your spirits. Negative thoughts will pass through you, take shape and stay there, not in your head.

Use the same weapon

According to psychologists, the best way to put a person in his place is to answer him with his own weapon. Try to do the same as your abuser, paying attention to his demeanor, tone and conversation. At the same time, one should not stoop to rudeness, but only cunningly use his own methods against the aggressor. We can safely take a similar position or cross our arms, lean on the back of a chair or table while talking.

Very soon he will understand the meaning of your strategy and, having experienced such behavior, will change tactics or switch to someone more vulnerable.

Finally, it is worth noting the main recommendation of psychologists in this situation - always remain calm, confident in your words and actions. Remember that a conflicting person is one who, at this moment in life, really needs help and sympathy, but wants to hide it with all his strength and available means.

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Take a walk

It often seems that our own head is the only source of negativity. Most often this is true, but it also happens differently. If you are surrounded by toxic people, for example in a family where everyone is constantly fighting and blaming each other, or at work where everyone is on edge, half of the negativity may be due to their mood.

Unless you are a guru, it is unlikely that you will be able to get rid of difficult thoughts while in such an environment. Therefore, if possible, leave him to calm down. Go out for a walk or go somewhere: to an exhibition, to your favorite cafe, to the cinema - this will help you find peace of mind.

Am I a geyser?

Each of us needs such a refuge - a quiet corner within ourselves, similar to the depths of the ocean, which are always motionless and calm even in the strongest storm on the surface.

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This relaxation room, created by our imagination, can relieve tension, anxiety, psychological stress, restore strength, allowing you to better cope with everyday worries.

I am convinced that in each of us there is a certain hidden center that is always at rest, like the center point of the axis of a moving wheel. You only need to discover this center within yourself and retire there from time to time to rest, recuperate and replenish vital energy [this is what yogis do, finding images and sensations within themselves that provide support for maintaining balance. ].

“Build” a small cozy room for yourself. Hang your favorite paintings on the walls there, paint the walls in soothing colors that are pleasant to you (blue, light green, yellow, golden). Furnish the room as you like. Everywhere is clean and in perfect order. The main thing: comfort, tranquility, beauty. And definitely your favorite deep chair. Through a small window you can see a beautiful landscape; for example, a sea beach on which slow waves roll, but the sound of the surf is not heard, the room is quiet, very quiet.

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Build this room in your imagination with the same care as you would build it in reality. Pay attention to every detail, every little thing.

Every day, when you have a few free minutes - whether between business meetings or while traveling on public transport - go to your quiet room. Whenever you begin to feel increasing inner tension, irritation or agitation, retreat to your “quiet abode” for a short time. A few minutes spent in it, even on the most hectic day, will more than reward you. This is not wasted time, but profitably invested time. When necessary, tell yourself: “I need to rest a little. I go to my quiet room. I’m already in it.” Visualize in your mind all the calming details of the environment; yourself, sitting in a comfortable chair, completely relaxed and in an extremely peaceful mood. In this room you are completely safe, nothing can disturb you; there are no worries here, they remained outside the threshold. There is no need to make decisions, rush somewhere, or worry about anything.

We sometimes isolate ourselves from real life, saying “yes” instead of “no”, we hide under an umbrella when it rains, we build a house for ourselves so that we have somewhere to hide from bad weather and adversity. Every year, when we go on vacation, we temporarily leave our usual surroundings, our usual responsibilities, and run away from everything.

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Our nervous system also needs rest; she needs to have a “secluded place” for recuperation and protection. The quiet room discussed above allows you to mentally escape for a period of time from everyday worries, responsibilities, decision-making and worries.

It should be borne in mind that your automatic mechanism is powerfully influenced not by words, but by images, especially if they have clear symbolism.

For me personally, the picture I saw in real life turned out to be extremely useful. Once, while in Yellowstone National Park, rich in hot springs, I stood near a geyser, patiently waiting for the next eruption, which occurred exactly an hour later. When a huge column of steam burst out of the neck of the geyser with a deafening hiss and whistle, as if someone had opened the safety valve of a giant steam boiler, a small boy standing nearby asked his father:

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- Why is this happening?

“I think,” answered the father, “that our mother earth is like her children.” Having accumulated a certain amount of tension in herself, she must “let off steam” in order to preserve her health.

“How wonderful it would be,” I thought, “if people could just as easily let off steam when the emotional pressure rises inside.”

I am not a geyser, and I do not have a safety valve on the top of my head, but I do have such a powerful tool as imagination. And since then, every time I retreated into my mental refuge and imagined myself sitting in a comfortable chair, I imagined how emotional steam came out of me and nervous tension subsided. Try to use this image of a geyser when you are nervous and tense.

Changing the daily routine

How can you not worry about anything all day long? It’s very simple, add a few pleasant moments to your usual schedule. This will help you get distracted and get a good dose of positive emotions. They will help you cope with almost any stress.

Breakfast should be delicious. Yogurt, natural, chocolate with tea, oatmeal with honey and dried fruits - it doesn’t matter what you start your day with, the main thing is that it brings you a feeling of happiness.
Don't skip exercise, it gives you vigor and strength to withstand stress all day.
Learn to distract yourself from unpleasant situations. At such moments, think about what brings you peace.
In particularly difficult situations, look at the flowing water. Is there a river nearby? No problem, just a water tap is enough.
Write down your concerns on paper. Then just tear it up and throw it away. Imagine throwing away your problems along with the scraps.

Living stress-free is easy

We can't help but worry about the people who are close enough to us. But we can learn not to lead these worries to full-blown stress and nervous breakdowns. Living without the destructive influence of negativity is very simple, you just need to follow a few pleasant rules for this.

Take daily walks in the fresh air, this will give you the opportunity to relax, the main thing is to let only pleasant thoughts come to you.
Try any sport. This will strengthen your body and increase self-esteem.
Be sure to give yourself a good rest. Even if the schedule is too busy, there should be room for respite.

You were rude. What to do?

Well, first of all, don't be rude back. It's better to avoid this. If possible, get out of the uncomfortable zone: stop communicating with this person, go to another room or hang up the phone. If you continue the conversation in a raised tone, both you and he will be nervous.

Then, when you have calmed down, do a deep analysis of what happened. Why did this happen? What made the person show anger towards you? Just don’t engage in self-flagellation, or, conversely, go to the other extreme - blaming others for everything. If you are to blame for something, then the person has every reason to be angry with you, but you can discuss his claims with him, try to fix everything, and come to an agreement.

Do not rush to evaluate what happened: you will do this only when you have weighed all the pros and cons. Of course, in different situations, both one and the other may be to blame, but do not think that the person who offended you with rude words is to blame for everything. Put yourself in his place and think: it is possible that it would be unpleasant for you to find yourself in a similar situation.

Childhood trauma

Don't lose sight of the conditions and circumstances of your childhood. The cause of most of your problems lies there. Increased susceptibility to stress is an echo of too low self-esteem, which was formed at an early age.

When figuring out how not to worry about anything, try to understand that every person has the right to make mistakes. No one will reproach you or punish you for doing something wrong. Let go of the experiences of childhood and live now as an adult, accomplished person.