How to let go of desire: 6 proven techniques

Author of the material:

Alina Tarasova

entrepreneur, writer, life coach

One of the conditions for fulfilling a dream is the ability to let it go. And this is the most difficult thing. Many people do not understand how to let go of a desire and at the same time visualize its fulfillment. There are several simple techniques that will help you make your dream come true without obsessing over it.

It often happens that a person makes a lot of efforts to make his dream come true, but this does not happen for a long time. He is too attached to her, so he himself interferes with her fulfillment. A hot air balloon can fly, but we will never know if we don't let it go. It’s the same with a dream, it can come true, but if you open your palms and let it do it.

The main mistake is giving too much importance to desire . If it does not come true, then you will have to forget about happiness. This is what usually happens. This happens for two reasons:

What the brain is focused on is fulfilled . The more a person worries, the more negative he makes his dream. It’s like a visualization with a piece of “not”; if you ask the wording “I want not to get sick”, the disease will first flash in the subconscious. When a wish does not come true for a long time, the brain focuses on the failure rather than on the dream itself.
A desire “poisoned” by negativity is rejected by the brain . Man has a built-in function of self-preservation. If a dream, even the most positive one, causes fear, anxiety and negativity, then the brain tries to abstract from it and prevent its fulfillment. And constantly making hellish efforts, a person loses pleasure from the process.

Letting go does not mean doing nothing to fulfill a desire. But sometimes a person is so focused on the goal and the plan to achieve it that he does not see that he is doing everything wrong. And efforts made in the wrong place will still not produce results.

The one who doesn’t demand or expect anything gets it. Desire should not lead life, put pressure on a person and turn into a need.

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Engage the Universe.

Remember the feeling of relief when you are assigned something important and you have the opportunity to delegate it to someone else. The same principle works in this method. It is necessary to write a letter to the Universe or draw up an official contract with it. To remember that you still need to do some things from time to time to realize your dreams, you can write down what exactly you need to do, for example, appear in public places once a week to meet the guy of your dreams or look at job advertisements on Thursdays for a higher salary . By relieving yourself of responsibility, you can reduce your anxiety levels.

Woman waiting

Pick up your phone and notice that the battery drains when it is in standby mode. Once you turn it off, the battery will remain in its original state without wasting energy. That’s how it is with people – stop wasting your energy waiting, use it instead for good.

Agree, you can easily spot a woman who just doesn’t have the strength to want to get married. And to do this, she doesn’t have to shout loudly that she wants to change something in her personal life. With an internal, even animal instinct, those around her read information about her. (

From head to paper.

This technique will literally help free your head. A person carries desires within himself all the time. If we add to this daily visualizations, then an unrealized dream can take a lot of energy. You need to write all your desires on paper. This can be done in the form of a list or in the form of a whole story in which details will be written down, down to sensations and emotions. A personal diary or a separate sheet is suitable for this.

You can also perform a kind of ritual. For example, after all the desires have been written down, you need to read them and say: “I am free from my desires, I am worthy of their fulfillment, I let go of my dreams so that they can easily come true.” You can re-read the list once a week.

Adding emotions

The easiest way to make your desire “alive” and emotional is to add adjectives. More.

What will it give? Namely, that by speaking your desire in your mind or reading your entry, you will be filled with joy. And this is exactly the feeling that pushes your desire to materialize.

Therefore, instead of “I am getting married this year to a man who loves me and is ideally suited for me,” we write “I am easily and quickly getting married happily this year to a man who loves me and is loved and is ideally suited to me.”

What happens if the wish does not come true?

This is a self-talk technique. You need to imagine what will happen if the wish does not come true. First you need to imagine the worst thing, and then look at it in a positive way. Depending on the dream, this may be a little strange, but this is the only way to let go of the desire. For example, a woman really wants to become a mother, but she cannot get pregnant. She may come to the conclusion that the absence of children will give her freedom, protect her from sleepless nights, she will have more time for her husband, and their family budget will not suffer. Even if the advantages of not fulfilling a desire are incomparable with the disadvantages, you still need to find them.

Personal blog of Zoya Ershova

Good afternoon, my dear friends!

“Everything will come true, you just have to stop wanting...” Faina Ranevskaya once said. This phrase is another answer to the question: “Why not all wishes come true.” One of the methods in wish fulfillment techniques is called “Release the desire.”

Get it if you are prepared for what you may not get. The question may arise: “How can this be? If you don't focus on the goal, it won't come true?

Now imagine a picture when a child is loudly naughty in a store, demanding a toy he likes that his parents cannot buy at the moment. Introduced? What if you are in the shoes of these parents? What will you do, what feelings will you experience? Reason, if he doesn’t calm down, you’ll promise to punish him at home too...

Let's try to change the situation: the child quietly asked if you could buy him this toy. To the answer that at the moment you cannot do this, but next time perhaps, he went and minded his own business.

Now you are starting to think that his desire has not gone away. What are the next steps? That's right, you begin to figure out how to make your child's wish come true, because you love him.

Now think about what the attitude will be towards the request: “Give me... I really want...”. The universe also does not tolerate violence.

As you make deals with the abundant Universe, demonstrate that while you are passionate about your dreams, you will not suffer if you do not get what you want. Any attachment is negative. Attachment to dreams, goals too.

Let go of the desire.

The Universe is ready to fulfill desires that bring positivity in order to protect us from anxiety, worry, and stress.
Thus, the more we worry, the more fixated on the result, the further we are from fulfilling our desire. This does not mean that you need to ignore your dreams, goals, desires. After all, it is known that where attention is directed, energy rushes there. But you shouldn’t dwell on it either. Thus, you may miss out on the many opportunities that the Universe provides that appear on a daily basis.

Letting go of a desire is very important for its realization. Perhaps the whole secret here is that when a person clearly understands and is not afraid of an unfavorable outcome, but at the same time continues to act, then he relaxes and balances his attitude towards desire. He seems to say to himself: “Yes, I really want my wish to come true. However, I don’t feel the need and I won’t worry if something goes wrong.”

There is no need to constantly live out your desire. To do this, set aside separate time when you do visualization or meditation. But only during this period do you think about your desire, experiencing joy and admiration, imagining it fulfilled. Then no violent feelings about this, so as not to go into a state of doubt.

Calmly think about your desire and do everything that is necessary to fulfill it, everything that depends on you.

Let go of desire and from now on you will become its master. Will, thoughts - everything will be freed from unnecessary tension and constraint. And the chain of events necessary for the fulfillment of desires will begin to line up.

How to let go of desire?

Igor Sakhnovsky describes in detail how to let go of a desire in his story “We ourselves are not from here”:

“Our desires are no less material than, say, the smell of perfume, the nervous system or cellulite. And strong desires can influence the earthly and near-earth space. To do this, they need to be launched there competently, like surface-to-air missiles. And then what you want will inevitably come true, even if you have already lost your desire. Therefore, one must wish with great caution.”

There are enough ways to give up attachment and let go of desire.

You can always choose what suits you.

For example, you may have some kind of hobby or hobby. So think about it, worry if necessary.

Consider other options if what you want doesn't happen.

Try to write down what good things can happen in your life if your wish doesn't come true. Perhaps, with quiet reflection, you can consider other possibilities.

At webinars at the International School of Magic, they suggest making a paper airplane on a full moon with your wish written on it and launching it, for example, out a window. You can also inflate a balloon containing a note with a wish. The color of the ball depends on the life sphere of your desire. The ball should also be sent flying. In this way, you can release your desire on a physical level and bring it to the abundant Universe.

You will find many other ways to let go of desire. You can do this calmly, rationally, you can “conjure” a little. This is what anyone likes.

Act detachedly, but with passion, showing enthusiasm, imagination, and interest.

I wish you success!

Don't forget to share the information with your friends. Thanks to all!

Not a moment of peace.

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There is absolutely no time to think about not fulfilling your desires if your schedule is full of pleasant things. Meeting with friends, traveling, fun hobbies - all this is a great distraction. In addition, the more interesting a person is, the more hobbies he has, the easier it is for him to arrange his personal life, establish communication with other people and build a career.

If you have more than enough free time, you need to find something to occupy it with. This could be reading, walking, fitness.

Talk about the past

Men are afraid when a woman begins to touch on the past, to talk about the unfortunate fate that haunted her. A man wants positive emotions from his companion, to rest his soul, and not to bother himself with endless women’s problems.

I’ll also add here how unpleasant it is to hear about “exes.” This applies not only to relationships before marriage, but also to already established marital relationships. And even more so, when there are comparisons with the “former”, and even more so with the “former” - it simply kills. And I'm not the only one! None of the men like it.

What to do?

You shouldn’t dump a heavy burden of a life’s far from joyful inheritance on men’s shoulders. Be light, witty, cheerful and mysterious. Discuss your future together, but not straightforwardly and clearly, but in a feminine, subtle and thoughtful way.

Start with joint plans for the next vacation. Talk about spending the weekend with friends, going bowling in the evening, thinking about renovating or changing the interior of your home.

A common cause brings you together and forces you to act harmoniously and together, making you a single mechanism in achieving a common goal. The main thing is not to forget about a positive attitude and try not to be dramatic.

Preparing to make your wish come true.

It happens that a dream does not come true because the person himself is not ready for it. For example, a girl wants to build a relationship, but nothing works out for her, and all because of the attitude that she first needs to graduate from university and then start a serious relationship. Internal contradiction prevents her dream from coming true. To learn to let go of a desire, you can not get rid of this belief, but turn it in a positive direction. For example, repeating “you need to study well, otherwise by 24 I will have my husband.” And you need to believe in this.

Another option is to think about the conditions under which the wish could theoretically come true. For example, you can get a job in a travel company if you learn English. It is logical that even if all the forces of the Universe are aimed at fulfilling only this dream, this will not happen until a person goes to language courses. But at the same time, having signed up for English lessons, you need to give yourself the mindset that even if you can’t work in a travel company, knowing a foreign language is a useful skill.

Three signs that you are overestimating the importance of your desire

It doesn’t come true for too long, and you keep waiting, waiting... Waiting, but doing nothing. You are not moving towards your dreams.
You are not completely sure whether it will come true. Therefore, you periodically ask yourself questions: “Do I really need it?”, “What if it doesn’t come true?”, “What if I’m unworthy?” Thus, more negative attitudes appear in the head, which the Universe picks up and exactly executes.
You start to get angry and tell yourself that you are a failure, that nothing will work out. And here is the result - nothing works.

Anyone can face this problem.

A large number of girls face difficulties in building strong relationships and concluding marriages. This is not affected by the social status, financial situation, education, age, or appearance of the lady. Often, even financially prosperous girls with model appearance cannot build long-term relationships, much less bring them to their logical conclusion - marriage. After all, men “run away” from them after a short time.

Many psychologists argue that the reason for this situation lies not in the social aspects or appearance of the lady, but in the peculiarities of upbringing, established life positions, and established stereotypes.

Why get rid of desires

Desires are the appropriation of the non-existent: the mind in the imagination makes a movie about the future eclipsing the realities, and accepts it as a guaranteed life scenario. Inflamed obsessive desires are hopes.

Once upon a time I read that the Buddha suggested turning off desires as a cure for all problems. And it seemed to me that this was some kind of transcendental fantasy for fabulous ascetics. How can you just stop wanting? The gut does not obey such spells.

But over the years, I saw how desires fall off on their own when you expose their futility - groundless calculations to get what you want.

Desire radiates the heat of longing while you count on its fulfillment. No calculation - no desire. Therefore, no one seriously dreams of such fantastic things as: world peace, eternal youth and health, superpowers... They dream of what they count on.

You get rid of desire when you become piercingly aware of its meaninglessness. That is, initially “meaning” looms in it. It is also called “secondary benefit”. When you see that the “benefit” is not justified, thinking and behavior change spontaneously.

In the article “Rules of Relationships,” I tried to describe the very futility of popular unrealistic calculations that ruin relationships.

Do not confuse the natural disappearance of desires with their devaluation and suppression - this is the shortest path to self-alienation and depression. I spoke about this in more detail in the article “Loving Life.”

Are you torn by desire? Realize the groundlessness of the calculation - and the desire will go away. Sometimes awareness hits you instantly, sometimes it requires detailed analysis or “meditation” about the nature of the phenomenon.

Examples

It is futile to count on a specific future - it may not happen. It is futile to prove that you are right; this hunger can never be quenched with evidence. It is futile to make a scandal, counting on agreement and understanding - conflicts lead to destruction. It is vain to count on justice - life has its own plans unknown to us. It is in vain to try to be smart and show off - you are deprived of real emotional intimacy. It is vain to demand love - coercion towards it causes the opposite reaction of hostility. It is in vain to count on patronage - the fear of losing support will not leave you. It is futile to count on reciprocity if it does not exist in the first place. It is futile to protect the child at every step. Reality will not pity him, but will give him a chance to grow up. It is futile to resist the truth; self-deception will not give you peace. It is futile to force yourself to become aware. It, like a dream, is natural - something from the depths begins to spontaneously take an interest in the present.