As the aphorist Wladyslaw Grzegorczyk once aptly noted, “people are ready to envy even a beautiful funeral.” Indeed, we are well aware of how bad, unproductive and poisonous this feeling is.
But alas, we can’t help ourselves - we just have to open social networks, see an advertisement or hear about the achievements of friends, and immediately a vile voice is heard inside: “It’s so dishonest - why is it all for some and nothing for me?!”
If this annoys you and you want to know how to stop being envious, then below we have prepared some tips on how to heal from feelings of annoyance at other people's successes. We warn you, it may not be possible to do this right away, but the result is definitely worth it!
To be jealous or not. Two stories from life
I want to clearly show you how destructive envy is. To do this, I’ll tell you a few true stories.
At the institute, I had a classmate who was terribly jealous of her friend. And everything about Marina was better: her clothes, thick hair, and good skin. She often tried to copy Marina, but everything got out of control. Everyone either openly noticed this and laughed at her, or made fun of her behind her back.
She herself began to have skin problems and constant rashes. She became embittered and offended, which attracted even more unpleasant situations; she began to get sick often and had huge problems with her studies due to absences.
As you can see, envy is a destructive feeling that attracts many problems and troubles, even with health.
My student Elena shared her story with me. She hated the couples that popped up everywhere out of nowhere in the spring, all those flowers, declarations of love, kisses in public places! Romance, it was all just annoying...
Later it turned out that this hatred is pure envy, a hidden desire for love and to have a romantic, happy relationship.
What is most surprising is that when she was embittered by “ostentatious love,” she herself had no luck with gentlemen. She was absolutely lonely and unhappy. As soon as she learned to be happy for the love in other people's couples, she herself met a person who made her happy.
If you are wondering:
- How to overcome envy?
- How to kill this feeling?
- How to stop being jealous of others?
- What to do if people are jealous?
Be sure to read this article to the end.
Determine the cause
Feelings of envy do not arise out of nowhere: often the reason lies in dissatisfaction with one’s own life. Try to determine what exactly doesn’t suit you and what exactly do you envy others about: their career, travel, happy personal life? Make a plan to work in this direction - which you can start doing right now. These could be small simple steps - creating a new resume, deciding on a vacation destination, creating an account on a dating app. Having completed even the simplest actions, you will feel that envy has receded into the background, and sports passion has taken its place.
Take action
A destructive feeling is a feeling that prevents you from developing. You see the achievements of another person - you begin to envy him - you become depressed because you have not achieved anything - you remain at the starting point because there is no point in moving on and doing something - you begin to envy even more. Break this vicious circle. Make a plan to achieve your dreams and success, write down your goals. Nothing is impossible, and if you put in the effort, you will definitely earn universal recognition. The main thing is not to sit still, but to act.
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Allow yourself to make mistakes
As the French writer Pascal Brückner said, “There are victories that lead to dead ends, and defeats that open new paths.” Your biggest failure in life can turn into a huge success - remember your friends who divorced their husbands only to meet their true fate a few years later. Or friends who were laid off from their jobs, giving them the incentive to start their own business. You shouldn’t envy other people’s successes and scold yourself for failures - you can learn from every mistake and eventually achieve everything you dreamed of.
Why is envy harmful?
As we said earlier, envy is a “no” signal to the Universe and the world. By directing this feeling into the world, you seem to show that you are disgusted by what the person has. And you distance such success from yourself, even if you dream about it with all your heart.
I would like to draw your attention to what Joseph Murphy writes in the book “How to Attract Money”:
I think you have more than once heard people say about their acquaintances: “He is a shameless swindler, he makes money off of others” or “Yes, this guy never had anything in his soul, but now just look how much money he has.
Such wealth cannot be acquired except through extortion, theft and deception.” If you take a closer look at a person who talks like this, you will most likely notice that his life has not worked out for him.
On the subject: 10 “golden” rules for attracting money from Joseph Murphy
In other words, indeed, people who tend to speak negatively about the successes of other people have nothing behind them; they are overcome by real, malicious envy.
By blaming others, they find many excuses for themselves. After all, if success was achieved by someone else, then this someone is clearly a fraudster and swindler. But the envious person does not have this success, because he is a decent and law-abiding citizen.
Do you want to attract money into your life and become rich? Stop being jealous and use this >>
It’s the same in love, many girls sometimes find excuses for themselves:
“Because I am a strong personality and men are afraid of me, not like this gray mouse, around whom there are many gentlemen, of course, she is simpler and more homely”
Or:
“Did she bewitch them all? Obviously the matter is unclean, that’s why she was lucky in love.”
That is, people begin not just to envy, but to sincerely find excuses for themselves and look for “reasons” for others’ success:
- Lucky
- Initially richer
- Was in the right place at the right time
- Fate
The list can go on forever...
Joseph Murphy writes:
That is why this person is tormented by envy and irritation. Such destructive emotions become the cause of all failures and unfulfilled hopes.
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This means that a person feels as if his desires, which he so dreams of, are eluding him and going to others. That is why a person is so judgmental about what he asks for.
For example: “I dream of being rich, I dream of abundance” and at the same time, he sends a contradiction to the Universe:
“How annoying it is that my neighbor is much richer than me.”
The result is complete confusion and contradictions. In one moment a person approves of wealth (but in himself) and condemns wealth (in others).
Don't underestimate your desires
We often try to suppress negative emotions, including envy, and we can begin to devalue our own needs: “I’m fine without a car!”, “Just think, all my girlfriends got married, but I can live well without a husband.” To take control of your weakness, it is better to admit its existence: “Yes, I want a sports car,” “Yes, I want to get married as successfully as my girlfriend.” By acknowledging negative emotions, we begin to track them - which means we live a more conscious life in which it is easier to control our thoughts and feelings.
Make a list of your achievements
Sometimes we are so blinded by the success of others and our own envy that we forget about our own achievements. You probably have a lot to be proud of, so make a list of things that you are grateful for and that deserve to be admired. It could be a diploma with honors, an oil painting, poetry that you wrote. Return to this list periodically and add to it so that you never forget your achievements.
Photo: pexels.com/ru-ru/@marcus-aurelius
Develop an Abundance Mindset
Envy arises at the moment when we witness someone else's success and the thought arises: “I will never be able to achieve this.” This is an example of limiting deficit thinking. It is characterized by the postulates that the resources in the world are limited, which means that we may not have enough money, time, and attention. To break free from these limiting mindsets, develop an abundance mindset. We talked about how to do this in a separate article.
Photo: pexels.com/ru-ru/@ivan-samkov
Negative Impact
Envy is recognized as a vice in many cultures, because those driven by it are capable of terrible acts. Dissatisfaction forces one to step over moral principles. But the whole point is that a person cannot pull himself together and gets fixated on negative emotions. They continue to eat him from the inside and distort his perception of the world.
An envious person, more than anything else, wants to harm someone who so “unfairly” got what he wanted, and his life turns into a nightmare. Sometimes it comes to the point that people turn to sorcerers and witches, paying huge sums of money to send damage or curse the “enemy.” But is it worth it? Isn't it easier to relax and live, calmly achieving your goals? And then, perhaps, they will begin to envy your success?
Distorted thinking is constantly looking for new victims and objects of envy, but all you have to do is stop comparing yourself to others and start enjoying your achievements.
How to stop being jealous?
In order to avoid getting into trouble and become a magnet for your desires, you need to eradicate the feeling of envy and stop being envious.
But how to do that? - you ask.
Let's turn to the classics.
Joseph Murphy writes:
Learn to bless those around you with a pure heart, sincerely wishing them prosperity and success in all matters, only then can you become happy and feel the blessing of the Lord.
In other words, in order to achieve the desired success, you need to sincerely rejoice in the successes of others. This way you will show the world what exactly you approve of and that you are truly, sincerely happy for those around you and that you wish the same benefits for yourself.
Remember that a person increases what he blesses and invariably loses what he condemns.
Indeed, to increase your success, bless others with success, rejoice in the achievements of others as if they were your own.
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Another important point...
To make it easier to rejoice in someone else’s wealth, someone else’s great mutual love, someone else’s benefits, you need to realize one simple thing:
You observe and encounter this because there is a law: everything good that you see in people’s lives already exists in your subconscious, which means it has a huge potential to exist in you too
. If you notice this in others, then you yourself are capable of realizing it in the near future.
Are you jealous of the wealth of others? Get rid of envy and your income will begin to grow.
Are you annoyed by loving and happy couples? Be sincerely happy for them, and love and harmony will also come into your life.
At a special master class, I share techniques that will allow you to restore relationships and return loved ones in just 35 days.
If you need help, come to the next meeting >>
I hope this article helped you look at envy differently and draw conclusions. Let's summarize.
Envying others is a state that primarily destroys you and distances you from the fulfillment of all your desires.
If you see what you want coming true for others, you need to be sincerely happy for them. By doing this you will give the Universe a sign that you are ready to accept these changes in your life.
If luck smiles on your friends, then rest assured that it will not bypass you either.
If, on the contrary, you are angry and envious, failures and disappointments from unfulfilled desires will await you.
Choose success, choose sincere joy for the successes of others. And you will be surprised how your desires, as if by a wave of a magic wand, will come true one after another.
Stop being jealous and fill your soul:
- Calm,
- Harmony
- With joy,
- Sincerity.
Sow these seeds into the soil of your consciousness. This is the only way you can get the good fruits of your desired future.
And remember, as you change, the world changes.
