In this article we will tell you:
- 6 reasons why a man is greedy
- 5 main signs of a greedy man
- How a greedy man behaves depending on his type
- Ways to change the behavior of a greedy man
- Options for dealing with a greedy man
- 3 tips on how to live with a greedy man if nothing changes
You wouldn’t wish anyone to experience how a greedy man behaves. One thing is certain: it will be very difficult to live with him. It is typical for such a representative of the stronger sex to check the change in stores, and also not to approve of the girl’s spending, believing that she is constantly buying something unnecessary.
At the start of building relationships, male greed can become a real problem. Few guys are ready to change their attitude towards money towards generosity, but it is still possible to push them to this step. Let's talk about the reasons for stinginess, and also look at all the possible ways to correct the situation.
How a greedy man behaves depending on his type
Let's look at certain types of men who demonstrate clear signs of greed.
- Practical
For such men, practicality is the main purchase criterion. For example, he tries to buy quality items during a sale. Always demands receipts. Drives an economy class car.The choice of gift is based on practical benefits. A romantic girl who is counting on flowers, bright impressions and surprises will be bored with such a guy. For a practical man, all these are empty and useless expenses.
- tight-fisted
This type considers it unacceptable to overpay for a name or a well-promoted brand when purchasing things or equipment. And he considers the best opportunity to relax to be a last-minute trip or a “savage” trip to the Crimean coast.As for choosing a car, here too, for the sake of economy, he will prefer a domestically produced car. And after dinner in a cafe, the gentleman will insist on paying the bill separately.
- Doomed miser
Most often this applies to rich men who can boast of a solid bank account, a country house in a good area, an expensive foreign car and other property.But on a date, he will wear old, worn-out jeans, worn-out sandals or sneakers and a worn-out shirt. Having appeared in such a nondescript image in front of a girl, he expects that he will be appreciated as a person, and not as the owner of a large fortune. In addition, he plans to keep his own income and expenses in his own hands even after the wedding, and his wife will have to take this into account.
- Miser
Such individuals are extremely selfish and firm in their beliefs. No one knows for certain about his income, he does not trust anyone and does not keep his savings at home. He sees his task as saving more money in his bank account.Such a man limits both himself and his family, not allowing them to buy anything beyond what is necessary. At the same time, he is glad that his fortune is constantly increasing.
The greedy and practical types are generally similar, but there are some distinctive features that reflect the difference in attitude towards finance.
A thrifty attitude can be considered rational and correct if a person buys everything he needs, chooses quality things, neglecting unnecessary trinkets and dubious pleasures. If a man is greedy, then he tends to avoid expenses altogether.
A thrifty person does not neglect the opinions of relatives, colleagues, friends or neighbors. If it is necessary to participate in a collective fundraiser, he will not refuse. A stingy man does not care about the opinions of others. He only thinks about the safety of his blood.
Reasons why I became stingy
- Primal Greed. Men with this “vice” usually grow up from boys whose parents saved money on their child. At first, it was hammered into the kid’s head that it was better not to give things (be it a scooter or a ball) to strangers, otherwise the neighbor Pasha would break the wheel, and the owner would be to blame, because he allowed him to ride. For this, he will be deprived of the opportunity to receive gifts for a certain time.
Thus, in the perception of a future man, the concept of “mine, and therefore no one else’s” is formed; as a result of such upbringing, we get a greedy man from the cradle who will not rush to share this “mine” with you.
- Sudden. Even the guy’s mother is sometimes horrified at how such a greedy and callous type grew from a sweet, generous and sympathetic child. This time it is the woman who is to blame for the man's stinginess, not his parents. Not you, of course, but the one (or those) with whom he had a relationship before you.
Often, men experience the first attacks of greed when they realize that it is their money that attracts women's attention. The more clearly he understood this, and the more selfish young ladies he met on his way, the more you will be disadvantaged in gifts and everyday expenses.
Ways to change the behavior of a greedy man
Let's assume that during the conversation it became obvious that the guy is stingy or very economical. In this case, you will have to admit that it is unlikely that you will be able to radically change his attitude towards money. You can only slightly adjust your usual behavior. True, the process can take a long time.
- Get rid of the attitude: “I don’t need anything”
Often, at the stage of dating, girls, putting on the mask of a prude, make it clear to their boyfriend that expensive gifts, restaurants, and entertainment do not interest them at all. They are completely happy without all this. In fact, it is natural for a man to fulfill the wishes of his lady, and this behavior extinguishes the male desire to be generous. - Ask for help
A man must provide his other half with the help she needs, and in this process a woman needs to act patiently and tactfully. For this to become a habit, the lady herself will have to learn to ask for help and not refuse if a man is ready to help. You should also not forget to thank your partner even for a small favor. Encouragement and gratitude will strengthen a man’s desire to always be there and show care. - Praise and reward
A man feels significant and important when a girl sincerely admires his actions. A tight-fisted gentleman may become more capable of showing generosity and care for his beloved if he hears praise and gratitude addressed to him. He definitely doesn't want to offend or disappoint her. - Take it in its entirety
Perhaps for some, greed does not seem too much of a disadvantage. A girl can fully accept this position and even encourage the desire to save. Here it is only important not to go too far, so as not to turn into a modern Plyushkin from the poem “Dead Souls”. - Respect a man's goals and plans
A woman who has decided to marry a frugal (to put it mildly) man will have to learn how to properly influence her partner. You need to try to understand what your man dreams of, what goals he plans to achieve, and help him in every possible way. Even big goals can be achieved if you do not oppose yourself to your husband and do not try to put hard pressure. - Using carrots and sticks
A woman’s weapon is her emotions, and they must be used skillfully. A man must feel that his greed is causing his wife’s bad mood and well-being. And if he pays attention to her requests, then the woman blossoms, she has more energy and strength. - Don't forget to thank
a man, even for a small gift or service. The partner should see sincere joy in the eyes of his chosen one, hear words of admiration and gratitude. For this reason, a man will try to overcome his stinginess. - A woman also needs to be generous.
Showing generosity is very simple, and for this you do not need to be rich in material terms. Kind and inspiring words, smiles, attention, a loving attitude - a woman can generously give all of this to her partner. - Joint management of the family budget
To ensure that your spouse has no doubts about the rational and targeted spending of family funds, it is advisable to make several joint shopping trips and ask him to personally pay utility bills. - Effect of age
If you don't change anything, problems most often get worse with age. The same applies to stinginess. A young person under 25 will be able to quickly understand that greed interferes with building trusting and harmonious relationships. But if a man has reached adulthood, then all his beliefs have been formed and strengthened, so it is quite difficult to change his position.We recommend
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- Only love changes for the better.
It is possible to defeat the greed of a representative of the stronger sex only with the help of love. If love reigns in a couple, then the partners manage to accept each other as they are. First, you can understand the reasons for the wrong attitude towards money and gradually improve the situation for the better. - Be the first to give gifts.
Find a reason to give a small surprise to your boyfriend. Perhaps this will push him to take a reciprocal step. It could even be a handmade postcard. On the contrary, an expensive gift can put your date in an awkward position. - Create trust
A man should feel that you are committed to a long-term and serious relationship. Increase the level of trust between you. Perhaps then he will not be so sensitive about expenses. - Make a shopping plan together
If you don’t want to cause a negative reaction from a man, then get into the habit of planning a budget together. Start saving money for a joint vacation, apartment renovation, or purchasing large items (furniture, household appliances). If your partner sees that you are not “pulling the blanket” only on yourself, but are acting honestly, in good faith and in the common interests, then his attitude will also change. He will understand that you can open not only his heart, but also his wallet.
Specific features of greed in psychology
Greed can be traced not only in the field of finance, but also in relationships with :
- women;
- friends;
- children;
- relatives;
- colleagues.
Manifestations of a stingy person towards women
A greedy man is never generous or sincere.
He views contact with a woman as a game where he can hit the jackpot without making a significant investment. There is an interesting pattern in the development of personal relationships. During the candy-bouquet period, a greedy guy is driven by the desire to have a pretty passion.
During dates, he will make small gifts, perceived as investments in a profitable project . However, when choosing gifts, the greedy type will try to spend the minimum allowable or not spend any money at all. He will pick field daisies, but will not buy a luxurious bouquet of roses. A man will repair a worn-out shoe, but will not offer to pay for a new pair of shoes.
He will arrange a picnic in nature using the products of his chosen one, but will not invite the lady to a restaurant. In a word, a greedy man, striving to take possession of the spoils, will be inventive, guided by the benefits of investments.
As soon as the hunt ends, the woman agrees to live together, the greedy man shows his true nature. He focuses on a new project to satisfy his thirst for money, fame, power.
The guy becomes not a partner, but a demanding dictator. He spends his personal budget exclusively on himself, assigning household expenses to his chosen one. A disclaimer: if a greedy man decides that he only needs to eat squid and lobsters, he will buy them, regardless of the price. But in quantities that would only be enough for him.
A greedy person knows a lot about manipulation . He is talented in persuading others, persuading them to fulfill male duties. He will be charming, claiming that a woman can handle plumbing repairs better than a specialized master. He will give a lot of arguments, wanting to save energy, time, and not spend money on paying for services.
A greedy person strives to achieve what he wants in the short term. It focuses on quickly satisfying real needs. He leaves the elimination of undesirable consequences to his life partner.
For example , a man takes out a new model of the “needed” smartphone on credit, not taking into account that the financial burden of providing the family with food and essentials will fall on the woman’s shoulders.
With friends
The leading quality of a greedy person is egocentrism.
This subject is focused exclusively on himself. The word “I” (I want, I wish) dominates in the statements. It is alien to a self-centered person to show interest in the experiences, desires, and needs of others.
When choosing a social circle, a greedy subject is guided by personal interests, namely, the benefits received from a specific contact. In his environment you will not meet random, “unnecessary” people. Friends are chosen according to the principle: beneficial for career advancement, solving problems, receiving benefits, because of the opportunity to borrow money, get something for free.
A typical trait of a greedy man is envy. This type is very jealous of the acquisitions, achievements, and successes of his friends. He denies that they made efforts to improve their lives.
He complains about the injustice of fate: “You are lucky, but I get everything through titanic labor.” In relationships with friends, an extreme form of greed leads to an obsession with taking possession of other people's property. The annoying thought of becoming the owner of friends' property leads to deception, fraud, and sometimes theft.
In pursuit of material wealth, a greedy person knows no bounds. In order to achieve his goal, he will ignore the code of friendship and forget about moral values without shame. A greedy individual is looking for loopholes to avoid reproaches if he acts to the detriment of the interests of his friends.
With kids
Lack of sympathy for family is a typical sign of a greedy man. Attention to the needs of children is not characteristic of a greedy parent. Such a father does not consider it necessary to invest time and money in the development and education of his children.
He is not afraid to hurt a child or teenager by denying them what they need . The inability to empathize and sympathize, lack of interest in the needs of the child, and focus on oneself makes a greedy man a bad parent.
Options for dealing with a greedy man
How to behave correctly towards a greedy man? Various factors play an important role here: the character of the woman, the age of the interacting people, differences in status, etc.
1. Relationship with a greedy guy
In order not to be upset later that your partner turned out to be greedy, at the beginning of your acquaintance you should get to know each other’s characters better. Excessive haste in a relationship can only do harm; a guy and a girl need to talk more, talk about their dreams, communicate on various topics, including attitudes towards family and money.
If a girl assumes that her new acquaintance is greedy, then she needs to observe for a while before drawing any conclusions. Moreover, it may turn out that he has good reasons for saving. Then the guy’s actions can be assessed differently.
There is also a separate category of girls who themselves will have to reconsider their behavior. At the beginning of a relationship, they demonstrate excessive modesty, complete independence, and refuse if the guy wants to pay for them in a cafe or on a trip. As a result, a man will not cross this line, for fear of offending or angering his significant other.
2. Example of a stingy father
The behavior and habits of the father, which the child observes from early childhood, are absorbed by him and become his own character traits. Moreover, copying occurs naturally and gradually, so beliefs are laid firmly and at a deep level. If the father considers his saving habit to be positive and even proud of it, then it is almost certain that the children will act in the same way.
The influence of a greedy father is also expressed in the fact that they often save money on the maintenance of the child: they rarely buy new clothes, toys, sweets, and do not give money for entertainment. Children who grow up in such an atmosphere, upon becoming adults, suffer from an inferiority complex and low self-esteem. An even more traumatic effect occurs if the family is quite financially secure and there is no need for strict restrictions.
3. Marriage to a greedy man
Family life with a stingy man is influenced by many different circumstances:
- Character traits of the spouse . A woman may also be distinguished by her desire to save money. If this is the case, then partners can avoid disagreements over expenses. However, there are nuances: if one of the spouses acts only in his own interests, then quarrels are inevitable.
- The true nature of the relationship in a couple . Stinginess can only be present where there is no love, sincerity, respect, true intimacy and friendship between partners. If the marriage is formal and each spouse has their own separate life and their own finances, then the qualities of the husband and wife do not play a special role.
- Women's idea of happiness . It is no secret that many women dream of getting married in order to have a reliable rear and live a comfortable, stable and prosperous life. Based on such considerations, a thrifty, thrifty and even stingy man fully meets these goals. A woman gives all rights and responsibilities to her husband, does not demand anything unnecessary and is quite happy with her position.
But still, most often it is difficult for a woman to get along with a tight-fisted husband.
Differences from Lean
Thrift and thrift are based on financial literacy.
These are useful qualities that allow you to preserve and increase benefits. Thrift implies purposeful actions and making thoughtful, logical decisions. Thrift is a justified choice of areas for spending money, time, and internal resources.
Unlike frugality, greed is often meaningless, harmful, and aimless . For example, a person seeks to increase capital, replenish his wallet with a large number of banknotes. To save cash, stinginess is added to greed.
The subject does not allow spending on vacations, hobbies, or travel. He leads a routine lifestyle, because quality leisure time at a resort implies a reduction in capital. The result is apathy and blues due to boredom, lack of rest, and new experiences. The person has no ideas regarding further development. He freezes at a dead point. Accordingly, there is no increase in material wealth.
A thrifty man takes care of personal relationships . He is attentive to his life partner. Realizes that purchasing a powerful vacuum cleaner will save a woman’s time and physical resources. Unencumbered by everyday burdens, she will pay more attention to the man.
As a result, he will receive a moral benefit, remain calm, and be insured against claims and reproaches. A greedy man does not consider the consequences of his own greed and stinginess. He does not calculate what hypertrophied tightness will lead to.
He will expect you to satisfy all his needs.
Even though he is quite comfortable putting himself ahead of you, he will expect you to make sacrifices to meet his specific needs. Essentially, he doesn't value your time, energy, and satisfaction as much as he does his own.
He will think that it is okay for you to quit what you are doing when he wants to spend time with you. He's much more likely to believe in stereotypical gender roles in the family (i.e. he'll want you to cook and clean). And he will put his pleasure before yours when it comes to the bedroom.
To make matters worse, he won't even see anything wrong when he makes these and other demands.
What errors might there be?
- Under no circumstances should you ask to buy something you like; eliminate the words “buy”, “I need”, “give me money” from your vocabulary. It is better to replace these irritants of the male ear with “what a comfortable inexpensive sweater I saw,” “it would be nice to wear new pants,” “help me find additional income.”
Over time, such behavior should stimulate a normal loving man to show his feelings more generously.
- There is no need to emphasize the presence of stinginess as a fait accompli at any opportunity, especially in the presence of prying eyes. This approach is fraught with the development of the opposite effect - your life partner may regard your words as a call to action. He will decide that you are positive about his behavior.
- Experts do not advise directly expressing complaints to a man about excessive miserliness. It is advisable to lead him to discussing the problem as gently as possible, so that a scandal does not break out based solely on the emotional component.
- In your arguments and explanations of what is happening, you do not need to stoop to humiliation of the human person, insults, accusations of professional failure, as well as unfounded threats a la “I will divorce you” or “you will never see your children.”
- Do not force a man to unconditionally agree with your opinion. Prove in practice what the real consequences of a spouse's stinginess are. For example, postponing the purchase of a freezer does not allow you to save money on vegetables and fruits in the winter.
Greed shows emotional and spiritual immaturity.
Because his personality is so dominated by greed and all the emotions that go with it—inadequacy, shortcomings, fear—the rest of his emotional intelligence is likely to be somewhat underdeveloped.
His childhood experiences stunted his broader emotional growth because much of his conscious and unconscious attention was focused on what was missing at the time.
This will manifest itself in below average emotional intelligence, but it can also be seen at the level of spiritual immaturity. He will be less open to deep conversations and complex moral issues, preferring a simplistic, sometimes cruel view of life and the world around him.
Psychologist's advice: how to fight?
In the case of innate greed, since your lover’s threshold has been formed over the years, you should stock up on patience for a long time.
Day after day, methodically explain to your man that you are also part of the notorious concept of “mine and no one else’s.”Therefore, you also need to be watered, fed, clothed and wearing shoes. If a man values this relationship, he will definitely at least partially reconsider his behavior.
- If we are talking about acquired stinginess, you need to understand that it is difficult to force a person to abandon his principles (greed in this case is often a principled position), but, as they say, water wears away stones. It may take years to polish your precious stone, that is, a man, but if a person is really dear to you, and his only drawback is stinginess, you can get down to business.
Your task is to indirectly let him know that you will love him “both in poverty and in wealth,” but you feel a certain resentment , being constrained by funds when he has them. Thus, he emphasizes the importance of his ex-girlfriends and your second-class status. If you don’t go too far, then relationships can develop quite harmoniously.
Try to earn the trust of your chosen one: use your feminine cunning and wisdom and provide your husband with “iron evidence”. One effective approach is to have your spouse pay for utilities and buy groceries.
How to understand that no methods will help?
It all depends on how much greed is running in a man.
For example, if he only recently started earning money and is still getting used to his new status, over time the young man will change, without much outside effort. In most cases, a temporary form of greed rather looks like tight-fistedness or thriftiness, which will not interfere in the future.
It’s another matter when the guy is a pathological cheapskate - it’s almost impossible to correct such a defect . All thoughts and actions of such a person are motivated only by saving and earning money, which he will not want to spend even during a period of great love for a woman.
Definitely run away spouse and don’t look back. No one and nothing will force him to change his lifestyle. Even if he loves you madly, stinginess is in his blood - and nothing can be done about it. Over time, the problem will worsen, any attempts to change something will end, because without the desire of the person himself this is simply impossible.
Only the woman herself can decide whether she is ready for such a relationship, because this is a huge amount of work that requires huge moral investments. Moreover, it is unknown whether there will be fruits of hard and painstaking work. Perhaps love and warmth will melt the heart of the heaviest miser, or he will completely harden. Sometimes sincerity of feelings can work wonders.
Consequences
Greed is a negative character trait and often interferes with the establishment of normal social relationships. Friends try to communicate less with such a person, women leave without receiving the required level of care and attention.
A greedy man is often tense, irritable, and others do not like this. This does not mean that you should spend money thoughtlessly without counting it. There must be rationality in everything. But excessive stinginess often leads to a man living alone.