How to break off a relationship with the married man you love

• August 30, 2018
• Psychology of relationships
• Alina Pogodina

In many countries, cheating is prohibited. For committing treason against a loved one, the traitor may face a severe punishment. Therefore, as a rule, the thought of this does not even occur to people. But, unfortunately, this absolutely does not apply to Russia, a country in which the number of betrayals and betrayals is constantly progressing.

A woman can have a second man secretly from her husband. But when she is faced with a choice - to save her family or completely surrender to passion and temptation, there is a high probability that she will choose the social unit she has already created. In this case, she faces a serious question: how to leave her lover without harming her reputation.

Why does a married woman need another man?

A woman is the keeper of the hearth. The cleanliness of the house and the health of all inhabitants in it depend on it. Before we talk about how to leave a lover, it’s worth saying a few words about what prompted a woman to commit betrayal towards the man for whom she lovingly irons shirts, cooks dinner and impatiently waits for her to get home from work.

There are several reasons for this:

• Long-term lack of care and affection. Men become cold towards their wives a few years after marriage. And those, in turn, lack male warmth, so they find it on the side.
• Dissatisfaction in sexual life. This criterion includes a long absence of sex or low-quality sex that does not bring pleasure.
• The appearance of feelings for another person. Many women can betray their significant other not only physically, but also mentally.
• Another reason is the search for new sensations. Over a long period of marriage, the spouse may become bored, so she strives to smell the aroma and test the abilities of another stranger's body.

If you believe psychologists, then often the first betrayal is committed unconsciously: in a state of alcoholic intoxication or in a fit of strong passion. But then the woman is drawn, as if by a magnet, to commit a similar sin again. Accordingly, the relationship with the new object becomes stronger, but sooner or later the mind comes to consciousness, and the question arises: how to leave a lover? It is worth noting that this is a rather complex moment, burdened with many nuances.

How to break up as quickly as possible

Separation from a man on the side does not necessarily have to consist of several steps. It is also worth considering the question of how to leave your lover quickly. To do this, you simply need to disappear from his life: change your address of residence, place of work, phone number, and not come to places where you could meet him.

But in such a situation, a man will not always understand what is happening, so he may start searching for his missing lover, which may not lead to the most pleasant consequences. Therefore, if you need to leave your lover quickly, it is still recommended to give him a farewell note.

Do you want a decent man? Then remember this phrase: “you are a smart man.”

Every man considers himself smart. But many girls think that if you give such compliments to men, then he will relax, he will sit on his neck. Just try it. You can try this in any situation. The man talks a lot. What does he want to hear? He wants to hear how smart he is. Mom didn't tell him. How did most mothers raise their sons? “You’re bad, you’re doing it wrong, you’re doing it badly.” And she thinks that now I will criticize him, and he will become better. And you also look at your mother, grow up and think that you need to criticize your husband, a man on a date, and then he will have a desire to become better.

Why do women have an affair with a married man?

There is also the opposite situation, when a free girl starts an affair with a man who is in a marital relationship, and in this case she herself is a mistress who seeks to destroy someone else’s family. Why do women have an affair with a married man?

There are also several reasons:

• In most cases, the girl herself does not understand how she became a mistress, and this happened because the man did not immediately tell about the existence of the family. As a result, the woman falls in love, completely surrenders to him and can no longer imagine her life without him.
• There is another story. When a girl consciously seeks to destroy the family and take the man for herself.
• Also, a woman can simply start an affair for the sake of new sensations. She likes extreme relationships that require hiding and hiding.
• Sometimes the financial side forces you to have a lover. Many wealthy people rent an apartment for a girl and fully provide for her existence so that she continues to remain his mistress. In this case, there is a benefit for both partners.

Regardless of what caused the affair, sooner or later the thought of separation still comes, and the woman faces the difficult question of how to leave her lover if you love her?

The role of temperament during a breakup

Temperament influences behavior in different life situations.

Each type has features:

1. Choleric people approach relationships pragmatically and do not consider creating a family their main goal. They study a potential partner for a long time, looking for similarities in interests and outlook on life. Such people rarely fall in love, but they leave the relationship quite painfully and become strongly attached; due to frequent changes in mood, they are able to abruptly break off ties, even if they regret it.
2. Sanguine people primarily look for a friend in a partner and strive for variety; they tend to fall in love often. They do not strive for constant control over their chosen one, they are generous with attention, and love to give gifts. Feeling discomfort in a relationship, sanguine people quickly pull away and easily leave.
3. Phlegmatic people see their partner as a helper and choose with their mind, not their heart. They seek traditional relationships and predictability, value accepted moral principles highly, take relationships seriously, and are slow to let people approach you. Phlegmatic people leave after carefully weighing all the pros and cons and justifying the decision.
4. Melancholic people are the most sensitive of all types. These people value romance, devote themselves completely to new relationships, become emotionally attached to their partner, and make sacrifices and concessions. They idealize their partners, have high expectations and are often disappointed, and they endure separation hard, do not let go of feelings for a long time and cannot hide them.

It's time to do it

How do you know when it's time to break up? Of course, in this case everything depends on the man’s attitude towards the woman. Perhaps the lover himself experiences a feeling of falling in love and is ready to sacrifice everything, including his family, in order to be with his loved one. It is necessary to push him to a decision - to make him choose between himself and his wife, and depending on the decision he makes, think about whether to leave his lover.

But in most cases, the opposite situation occurs, when a girl is only a backup option for a man and someone with whom he fulfills his carnal needs, but, as a rule, he is not ready to risk his family in order to continue these feelings. In this case, you should think about how to leave your married lover and start a new life.

How to push yourself to such a decision

Women rarely muster up the courage and decide to end a relationship with a man. This is due to the fact that they are afraid of being lonely and unwanted. Therefore, they often cannot cope with this problem on their own, which is why they come to a psychologist’s office and ask him the question: is it worth leaving their lover?

Experts assure that this really needs to be done. Moreover, there are several factors that can push you to make this decision:

1. First of all, you should imagine yourself in the place of his wife. Wouldn't it be nice to be in a similar situation?
2. You should also feel unneeded. It is worth understanding that such relationships are doomed to failure and you will never be able to build a family and have a child with this man. With him, a woman will waste her years, instead of finding a worthy young man.

Often in a psychologist’s office, specialists hear the phrase: “I want to leave my lover, but I can’t.” In fact, you just need to decide to take this step, and your life will change for the better.

Hard options

A real case from life.

-Can I meet you?

-Where are you going, I’ll take you?

– I’m looking for a quiet place for a grave.

“I killed a guy, I’m thinking of burying him.”

Some individuals do not understand either the first time, or the second, or the third. Sometimes a young man deserves a rude refusal because of his boorish speech or outright stupidity. To answer firmly and not run into conflict, it is enough to say ordinary phrases, but at the same time turn on metal and irritability in your voice. At the same time, it is advisable not to insult him, not to give him negative assessments, and especially not to swear.

How to quit?

If a woman decides that the time has come to break up, then she should end the relationship quickly. You should not continue meetings, as this will only make things more difficult mentally. It is better to talk to a man about breaking up one day, arguing that further meetings do not make sense, and from the next day completely disappear from his life and never appear in it again.

How to get over a breakup?

When a relationship does not make sense, then you should listen to the advice of a psychologist and leave your lover. If a man can quickly come to terms with this and continue his life as if nothing had happened, then for a woman it is much more difficult to survive. What to do in such a situation?

First of all, you need to speak out. It is worth talking to the person who inspires trust, telling him about the essence of the problem. If there is no such person, then it is recommended to share your innermost secret with an experienced psychologist who is not only able to listen, but also give practical advice.

An even better way to get over a breakup is to talk to someone who has already been in a similar situation. He will share his life experience and, most likely, explain to his interlocutor that breaking up with a lover is a step towards a new and happy life with a clear conscience.

And finally...

The methods we talked about are universal, but not the only ones: life gives rise to many situations when you need to send away a person you don’t like for some reason.

Many girls who have had to do this have their own methods of “getting off”, born of improvisation, resourcefulness, momentary circumstances or personal relationships. If you have such friends, ask them to share their own experience - what if it comes in handy?

Author of the article

A practicing journalist, he tests recipes on himself. Knows everything about men and traditional medicine.

Rate this article:

Loading…

How to fill the void

Not long ago, a woman wondered how to leave her ex-lover, but now she dared to take this step, and her life really changed, but so far only for the worse. The woman feels unhappy and lonely. At a time when she could have a pleasant time with a man who aroused sympathy, she is alone at home and forced to be bored.

What to do in such a situation? Of course, you need to fill the gap and it is best to start a new novel for this purpose. It is also recommended to find a hobby you like and fill all your free time with it.

How to forget?

Often in frank conversations between women you can hear the following phrase: “I left my lover, but I can’t forget.” Of course, this is a fairly common situation, because a feeling of attachment is formed for absolutely any person, even for someone for whom there was no love, but only sympathy, so it is quite difficult to survive parting with him. Psychologists recommend doing the following in this case:

• Live as if he never existed in your life, completely eliminate all memories of him and do not allow them to appear. Under no circumstances should you go to his page on social networks and monitor his personal life.
• It is necessary to completely eliminate communication with him, not only personal meetings, but also correspondence, as well as telephone calls.
• It is worth getting rid of everything that could remind you of this person, including gifts given to them and shared photos. It is also necessary to remove from the house that mug from which he liked to drink and the pillow on which the aroma of his perfume still remains.
• Psychologists recommend giving the opportunity to release bitterness and resentment from the soul. To do this, you need to climb to the top floor of a tall building, preferably in a sparsely populated area, and scream loudly.

Of course, the best way to forget a loved one is to replace him with someone else. It is worth paying more attention to your husband if a woman cheated on him. Or find another (not married!) man, if she is left alone.

Don't make excuses

Analyze your behavior. Perhaps you yourself, unwittingly, gave hope to the gentleman, and it was for this reason that you became more assertive in your proposals.

There are often cases when a married man is pleasant and attractive to women, and they convey this at the level of emotions and views.

Clearly define the boundaries of what is permitted for yourself and do not let your emotions unsettle you. By playing with feelings and trying to have a “frivolous romance,” you will most likely plunge into the abyss, from which it is quite difficult to get out without psychological trauma.