Totally ignored. What to do? Will the girl come back?

Totally ignoring an ex-girlfriend is like the return of a loved one. It happens so often in our lives that we have to regret some of our actions. In particular, about rash, spontaneous actions. But for youth this is quite understandable.

After all, youth is hot-tempered and is primarily guided by emotions, not common sense. There is nothing terrible or reprehensible in this. But it often happens that you have to lose a loved one.

If you would like to listen to a recording of this article, you can use the player below:

What to do then? Under no circumstances should you despair! Even if your beloved does not want to communicate, does not answer calls. Then you can use total ignore of your ex-girlfriend, that is, act in the same way.

How does your ex feel?

A guy who ignores his ex very often does not stand the test of time. That is, he lacks the willpower and nerves to completely ignore the girl’s attempts to establish contact. Here it is worth remembering some significant differences in the behavior of men and women.

• If the young man showed lightness and carelessness when breaking up, this will certainly anger the girl. Finding herself “proudly” alone, she will still experience great curiosity about the life of her former lover. Therefore, you should ignore it for a certain time (let it suffer more), but do not overdo it.
• As a result of being ignored, your loved one increasingly has a desire to try to renew the relationship. Just remember that reconciliation may be short-lived, since not a single woman is ready to lower her self-esteem. She agrees to use this method only in order to then leave the man herself.

Exit from ignoring

This is the very moment that cannot be missed. The main thing to remember is that the emotional state of the victim of neglect may be unstable, and “Closer” may be excessive on her part. She can literally crawl on her knees and ask to become a couple again now. He may confess his eternal love, swear allegiance, the desire not to give to anyone, and the desire to kill “all the whores” with whom you slept.

Even though you've almost achieved your goal, there are still plenty of opportunities to fail. Therefore, you need to accurately understand the mechanism for correctly exiting this position of ignoring. Everything needs to be done as carefully as possible - without rushing, but not being stupid either.

What do you want?

If you are satisfied with the kind of relationship that exists between ordinary acquaintances, then it makes no sense to ignore your ex. You can continue to communicate with her calmly. If you really want to get the girl back, you should, of course, use this method. At least try to apply it. In this way you show that you are not suffering. And you live quite successfully and carefree without her and do not depend on anyone. This only reinforces the appearance that you are ready to lose her forever. In this case, a girl’s fear of loneliness can overcome all her arguments and pride. This kind of ignoring will help you get your lover back.

You just need to understand yourself and clearly define what you really want in the future.

Love Strikes Back

Emotions cool down over time. But if you survived the most vivid stage of the breakup, and did not let the woman go, the torment continues. This is where the vile desire to break loose awakens. The ex’s period of silence is just beginning: there were no pings for three weeks, nothing on social networks. You overthink yourself, and feelings, like a river under a dam, find a way out through self-deception. Doubts begin about the effectiveness of the method and the correctness of your choice. So you are looking for alternative ways to get your girl back. Somewhere you hear the opinion that ignoring is harmful and does not work, panic sets in.

You can cope with a panic attack through exercise or switching your attention. But you haven't trained to control your feelings, so they take over. Regarding your own experiences, you justify yourself: “I am no longer the same as I was before. No more humiliation, now I’ll fall in love with her again and get even for all the persimmon!” Now we’ve reached the point of breakdown - you get in touch with your ex.

The meanness is that at first a woman can actively go to the meeting. This dulls your vigilance, you relax. She sees how quickly you are losing ground and understands that ignoring you was fake. Then the girl takes the initiative and bends you over in the struggle for dominance. Then the lady begins to spew accusations and make demands. Did you passionately want her back? Here it is: you are together again, and your beloved will strap on you to the fullest again. Enjoy the slouched dog pose, it won't last long. When the girl has had enough of playing, she will go to someone else.

Several key conditions for total ignore

Total ignorance may not always lead to the desired result. To correctly calculate your actions, you should know a little about what can contribute to the resumption of your relationship and will help you get your ex back.

• The longer your relationship lasted, the stronger the emotional connection between you, the greater your chances of success.
• Each girl perceives total ignoring differently. Because each of them has its own character, its own habits and beliefs.
• Properly prepared soil and created situations using the ignoring strategy will help you get your ex back.
• You can speed up the process of renewing relations with the object of your desire in different ways, one of which is provocation.

Stages of ignoring

The biggest problem with ignoring for guys is the lack of a clear understanding of what the girl is currently experiencing. When we, specialists, deal with the situation, we can more or less confidently assess the situation, but even then not completely. Therefore, constant communication is required. But the guy himself practically cannot understand how far he is from success, being inside the situation.

This is where most of the breakdowns and failures come from.

Despite the fact that ignoring always acts individually and the stages may vary (change places), they still exist. We can roughly identify and characterize six stages of development of ignorance - this helps to understand what is happening in the victim’s head at a particular moment.

1. Composure.

In most cases, the initiator of the breakup occupies a higher position in terms of the balance of importance at the time of the breakup. Therefore, at first he does not notice that he is being ignored - since he is rather indifferent and cold towards his ex-partner. It’s difficult to follow the life of someone you don’t notice, just as it’s difficult to notice his ignorance.

Even if at some point understanding comes, at first the situation is perceived from above - from the position of the strong. “I probably offended him in some way and he’s showing me that he’s sulking. Well, never mind, it’s not a noble thing to monitor the mood of the slaves. There won’t be any passage soon again.” And if you bothered her after breaking up, then your absence will be perceived as a breath of fresh air.

2. Curiosity.

Time helps to wash away negativity from memory (how long depends on its amount and your behavior in the last stages of the relationship and after the breakup). Then what remains is mainly a nostalgic feeling. And in the case of being ignored, after some interval the question arises in the victim’s head: “So, what’s wrong with the ex? Everything is really sad?”, “Oh, why did he stop trying to get me back? What changed?".

Still feeling in a position on top, the victim would not mind communicating and finding out how we are doing, but social laws do not allow us to do this just like that: 1. You broke up. 2. We haven’t communicated in any way for a long time. Even just writing “Hello” is quite strange on her part. Moreover, so far the very existence of ignoring has not been shown in any way. The solution is to ping.

A ping (signal, beacon) - like a beam of light - is sent to an object and returns in some form or disappears into a black hole of silence. With the help of ping, we understand at what level our communication is with a person with whom communication seems to be closed.

It can be anything, depending on the person’s cunning:

— Like the photo; — Message on social networks/SMS; — Call (possibly “random”); — Meeting on the street (also “random”); — Provocative photos on your page.

In general, it could be anything. There is only one task: without showing your interest, check whether there is communication. Or - “pull the string” if the addressee is completely controllable.

What is the difficulty for someone who ignores? You never know why the ping is being done and how high the interest in you is. Therefore, under no circumstances should you answer them. Complete indifference will help to “open up” the situation a little and lure the person being ignored, in fact, into ignoring him.

Here are just a few examples illustrating the pings of a victim of being ignored at this stage:

• Neutral questions: “I hope I didn’t offend you in any way?”, “Hello. How is life?”, “Are you all right?”;
• Supposedly justified by necessity: “You know about computers, don’t you know how to send a document to print in this program?”, “You still have my phone case. A friend can pick it up tomorrow. Will you give it back?";
• “Accidental” pings: “The phone rang in my pocket. But since you picked it up, how’s life?”;
• Manipulations: “Our mutual friends asked to find out if everything is fine with you,” “I saw you yesterday in the shopping center. It was you?";
• Happy Holidays;
• Comments under photos, likes, marks on photos and posts, statuses that clearly mean you, adding/removing from friends;
• Any other inexplicable and sophisticated attempts to remind you of yourself and write them off as an accident.

If you continue to ignore the person after the ping, the victim begins to understand that you are expressing (or feigning) complete indifference. As a result, the next stage begins.

3. Reaction.

Now the victim understands everything, but still tries to decide for himself whether this is ignoring - because he cannot believe that the initiator is capable of this. For social adequacy, before trying to act differently, the object needs to be shown: I am trying to make sure that this is what I think, and not an accident/lost phone/forgetfulness/inattention.

- “I’m waiting for an answer =)”; - "All? Are you not talking to me now? - “I don’t understand what your silence means...”; - “Are we enemies now?”

Now the ignored person understands exactly what is happening. Moreover, she showed you that she understands this.

4. Anger.

The object of the ignore is wounded, and gives itself the moral right to pings “on the brink” - any provocations, often based on double meaning and deception, aimed at eliciting a response and revealing the fake (in the victim’s opinion) nature of the ignore. The main goal is to shake up your moral balance by any means.

Very often, girls at this stage use the guy’s silence to write to him whatever they want - mostly accusations, insults and even threats:

• Demonstration of resentment : “As immature and childish as you were, you remain so!” You’re causing an incomprehensible mess with your silence!”; “I wrote to you with the best intentions, we are not strangers after all. And it’s difficult for you to even answer me. Well... I made the necessary conclusions...”
• Direct threats : “Okay, it's your own fault. No more communication!”; “Still silent? So know that I won’t answer you now either!”; “That’s it, right? I don’t exist for you anymore!”
• Claims : “Your behavior now once again illustrates our relationship with you. You always didn't care. I don’t regret leaving you one bit!”; “Listen, you and I are adults. We both understand that you read everything. Shall we play the game of silence? For what?"; “This is how you act... at first you scream about love and don’t want to let me go, and now it’s even difficult to answer me. So all your words about love have always been nonsense”; “Hmm. You didn't suffer for long. At this moment, all your phrases became worthless. I knew it =).”
• Attempts to evoke emotions : “What are you doing with a person who truly loved you?”; “It’s really hard for me without you... I’m confused...”; “Maybe we made a mistake?...”; “I’m so hurt by everything that’s happening! You probably do too! Why are you doing it? We need to talk!"; “Do you really care about everything that happened between us? Why end the relationship completely? To take revenge on me?"; “How little time it took you to find a replacement for me...”
• Attempts to make you jealous : “I’ll leave you alone. Don’t write to me because my boyfriend is jealous!”; “I’m very glad that you never answered, now everything is fine on the personal front and we can complete our story. Goodbye =).” Dirty tricks: "Answer me or I'll call your mom"; “If you don’t get in touch, I’ll publish what you wrote to me - let all mutual friends see it!”
• Aggression : “You are a complete creature! I hate you, it’s good that we broke up!”; “Real men don’t do this! Only chicks and children. So you are the second thing - a stupid child who has not matured! But in your actions you are a woman!”; “Fuck your sluts, bye.” Then don’t write to me, I’m disdainful.”
• Attempts to intrigue : “Call me back, please. I have a very important conversation!”; “Something happened. We need to talk. This is not for correspondence”; “Stop playing games! A matter of life and death!

When it comes to such provocations, they do not only occur in the field of correspondence. Strange photos with hints of relationships or intimacy, meaningful statuses and posts that can be interpreted in different ways will appear on her page. All in order to confuse the one who uses the ignore method, to force him to make all sorts of conjectures, to prove himself in some way. Finding out that someone who ignores you is monitoring pages on social networks is already a victory.

The stages are described above, but their location should not be taken literally. Having reached the third, the victim of being ignored may after some time roll back to the second or first. Everything can be repeated and mixed arbitrarily, depending on the situation and the personality of the ignored object. If the ignore is not interrupted after all the ping waves and their repetitions, the next stage begins.

5. Understanding.

Often this stage lasts longer than others and is accompanied by a long information pause, similar to a retaliatory ignore. In fact, at this moment a rethinking of the situation occurs.

It doesn’t matter how well or poorly a person controls himself at this moment, but he begins to understand that ignoring is not a game, but a very real reality. If things continue as they are, the ex-lover will never be in contact again and will be lost. The range of feelings of the ignored person is so vast that he simply cannot fully control himself. Now he has no choice but to take real steps forward.

6. Closer.

This is where the real steps towards you begin. A peculiar attempt to come forward and repent of the action - the decision to leave you. The implication is that the victim finally realized she couldn't live without you and the breakup was her fault to begin with.

How to understand that this is a real “Closer”, and not another ping or a sophisticated provocation? Of course, you can’t be completely sure of this, but here are a few signs:

This should be a clear message, expressed in a message, call or meeting (if he really wants it, he will find an opportunity). The object clearly and unequivocally says that he repents, asks for forgiveness and wants to communicate again to try to be together again.

And if she doesn't write

Exes often “ping” their boyfriend, that is, they write to check if there is still any connection between them. They write, without even knowing it, that every ping prompts them to write the next message. For some girls this becomes an obsession. To ensure that emails are sent as infrequently as possible, you should not respond immediately. You need to act correctly, while removing all responsibility for the separation. In many cases, this method helps to get your ex back.

How to survive such an attitude?

If it doesn’t seem reasonable to continue interacting with your partner or you simply don’t want to tolerate such an attitude towards yourself, it’s important to find effective ways to relax and distract yourself in time . It is important that the chosen method not only allows you to survive resentment and anger, but also be interesting and truly captivating.

As a rule, men prefer to get rid of negative emotions through alcohol or promiscuity. However, this behavior model does not give the expected result. Feelings of resentment and injustice return with renewed vigor after the effects of alcohol wear off.

To distract yourself from sad thoughts, you should:

• immerse yourself in work;
• take care of your physical fitness;
• try yourself in a new sport;
• go on a trip.

New experiences on a regular basis will help you throw out negative emotions and recharge yourself with positivity.

Emotional representatives of the fair sex find it more difficult than men to come to terms with lack of attention. Attempts to establish contact, throwing tantrums, threats are destructive ways to combat depression.

The best ways to increase self-esteem and get rid of anxiety:

• change style;
• to have a pet;
• update the interior;
• get creative.

These are the most effective and simple methods for overcoming stress that will help you quickly return to normal life.

Why manipulation has a short-term effect

The method of ignoring with the aim of returning is, of course, aimed at your ex, is deliberate in nature and takes the form of manipulation. Most often, those who manipulate are those who know what impact it will have from their own experience. You don't show your suffering, your true feelings and emotions, and this begins to irritate and hurt your ex-girlfriend. She now wants to quickly end her suffering and resume her former relationship, return to the days of a happy time together. Therefore, manipulations are often short-lived.

How to fight?

Methods of dealing with manipulation are somewhat different for women and men .
This is due to the characteristic personality traits and standard reactions of different sexes to the same circumstances. To resist provocation, it is enough for a man to take the blame for what has happened recently. A visit with a gift and a prepared speech will not be amiss.

In the conversation, it should be noted what feelings the guy experienced while the girl did not get in touch, why he intends to continue the relationship and what he is ready to do for this.

Winning a man's attention is not so easy. Flowers or sweets, tears, and especially hysterics are inappropriate here. One of the most effective ways to combat ignorance is to respond. Out of surprise, the man will probably reconsider his position and attitude towards his beloved, and change his tactics of behavior.

When is it better not to use the method?

The method of completely ignoring your ex-girlfriend is recommended to be used if you really want to get her back. Just take into account that the time of such behavior in order to return your beloved is also not immeasurable. You can ignore it for about a month. Because this time is quite enough, according to psychologists, to realize the importance of your relationship. This period will help smooth out all the bad memories a little.

If you broke up many months ago and have not communicated with her for a long time, then this method does not make sense to use. You should also not avoid conversations with your ex if they concern serious matters (you need to pick up some item or pay bills). Just conduct the conversation politely, friendly, without showing your real feelings and emotions. The effect of such actions will be much stronger than if you completely ignored it. After all, the girl is sure that the young man she abandoned should be unhappy, and not look calm and indifferent.

The strategy of completely ignoring your ex-girlfriend is very effective. Therefore, if it happens that you broke up and want to resume the relationship, use the method as quickly as possible. The sooner you will get it back and be happy.

PsychologyPRO

Reason to ignore a girl

For an addicted man, breaking the connection with his beloved on his own is torture. To take such a step requires a serious reason. The fact that she behaved vulgarly, made a scandal, or has already left you are only reasons to start ignoring you. You were motivated to act not by the woman’s actions, but by a feeling of despair. This feeling arose at the end of a difficult journey:

• After parting, you tried to crawl after her with roses in your teeth, wiping away tears and begging your beloved to stay, but it didn’t work.
• I tried to pause and return to her life as an alpha male - the lady laughed in her face. You offered to be friends after the breakup - she found Vasily and you were forgotten.
• When ways to get your loved one back in two weeks didn’t work, you went online to look for other options. You offered to be friends after the breakup - she found Vasily and you were forgotten.

So you ended up on the channel and heard from the guy in the video about total ignore. It turned out that you can force the lady to return on your own, and even with an apology! But you need to do nothing at all: stop writing, calling and not answering your ex’s calls and texts. It sounded like deliverance. Especially, in comparison with the advice of popular psychologists: “Make amends, lick her heel and do a stand.” You watched a couple more videos about the balance of importance and finally became convinced that ignoring is the most effective way to get a woman back.

A surefire way to get your relationship back

Inspired by stories of women returning in tears, you decided to ignore. This is where the mistakes began: going into ignore mode in order to get the woman back at any cost is a false goal setting.

With such an attitude, you are not able to internalize the thoughts of diminishing importance and wiping out the predator. Even if I devoured all the videos on the channel. After all, you watched the videos through the prism of your own neediness and importance of this particular girl. That’s why you write in the comments: “I’ve been ignoring it for three days now. Will she definitely come back?”

It's not about her, it's about you

Total ignore is a really effective way to make a lady fall in love with you again. It works by changing the balance of importance in your favor. The one who ignores takes a strong position: he ceases to need a relationship. During the period of ignoring, the man becomes independent from his partner. This freedom from love madness is the main result. The real goal is the ability to maintain a happy relationship in the future. And returning an ex is only a consequence: girls are drawn to independent and strong men.

In the meantime, all your thoughts are about your ex - you are looking into the past. It's like running to the finish line, constantly looking back at the starting point. You can overcome some distance this way. But the likelihood of tripping and falling face first is very high. Can you already guess how you came to a breakdown? Don't rush to conclusions! A wrong goal is just the starting point of your failure. Let's figure out exactly which bumps you tripped over.

“I won’t tolerate coldness from him”2

But some girls are fundamentally put off by a man’s cold reaction to her and her attention. If they hint to a guy that they like him or talk openly about it, but he continues to keep them at a distance, then such girls quickly lose interest in the man. This may be due to the fact that in other situations they quite easily gained everyone's attention, but in this one they were faced with the fact that they were simply not being looked at.

This discourages and frustrates women. It is fair to say that this is not the most attractive trait in a woman's character, and it is not always worth men trying to win such ladies. Should I ignore a girl who reacts to men this way? Well, more likely yes than no. But not to win her. And then, to save yourself from possible problems.

Commentary on this answer from a female survey participant: “It’s unpleasant for me that they respond to my attention with coldness. Although I understand that guys are not obligated to react warmly to this. I’m just used to the fact that men like me, but sometimes I come across just impenetrable and serious individuals who, it seems to me, don’t care about me at all. Some of the girls could try to “break through” their coldness and ignorance, but it’s easier for me to find those who won’t behave like that. It’s much more pleasant for me to communicate with them.”

“Ignoring is the best way to lose a girl”3

Not all girls worry about the lack of attention from men, because it harms their self-esteem. There is a more banal reason - they consider it simply impolite, offensive and humiliating attitude. There is a grain of truth in this - rejecting a person who shows sympathy is very rude.

And ignoring is one of the tools of human manipulation, so for those who remain out of work, it is doubly unpleasant and offensive. Some girls who are ignored by men prefer to avoid them as uncultured and impolite people.

“It is extremely impolite for a man to show coldness towards a girl who openly expresses her affection for him,” says another survey participant. – What they mean by ignoring is an extreme degree of aloofness and coldness. And this will not help them in any way attract the girl to whom they themselves are not indifferent. It’s much better to respond to her sympathy with your sympathy and finally start a relationship.”

That is, ignoring is not such a good way to attract a girl and keep her close to you. This is a rather unpleasant and dirty way of manipulating human feelings. People should think twice before doing this to other people. The best thing to do is to put yourself in the shoes of the person the man wants to ignore and think about whether this is really a good idea. Otherwise, the guy may lose all chances of meeting and getting close to the girl he ignored.

How to protect yourself from an abuser

There are situations when a girl herself will not write again, but demands royal treatment. She can use a person who loves her and at the same time feel comfortable, without succumbing to remorse, which, apparently, does not exist. A woman who behaves this way should not be ignored, but driven as far as possible. In this scenario, you need to express everything to her face or exclude what she, in the guy’s opinion, is keeping him with her for. When his guesses are correct, she herself will not write again. If he was wrong, then the relationship will be saved and a terrible mistake will be prevented. How to stand up for yourself

Sometimes everything reaches the point of absurdity, a representative of the fair sex behaves so horribly that the guy even likes to ignore her, because now there is no person in his life who regularly gives him reasons to become depressed.

Girls are different, you shouldn’t equate them all with nice ladies leading a righteous lifestyle. Some young ladies cause so much pain that after such “happiness” a person does not really want to live.

In order not to bring the situation to absurd conclusions, it is better to stand up for yourself in time and break off the relationship. You shouldn’t do this by causing scandals and hysterics, you need to talk calmly, explain the reasons why such a decision was made, and part ways with the world. After this, the guy will unconsciously wonder whether it is worth pursuing such a girl or whether it is better to find a better candidate.

READ Why girls like bad boys: main reasons

How to properly ignore: final points

For ignoring to work, you must be able to go to the end, and you must have something to pull on
- I hope you have already understood this. Therefore, in order to understand how to ignore a girl, you must decide on the following:

1. Is your value great enough for the person you are going to manipulate?
2. Are you ready to go to the end in a specific situation, to bring your threats to life?
3. Your actions are motivated simply by resentment or is it an attempt to correct her serious mistake, to punish her for something.
4. What should the result be, and where are you ready to stop?

The last point is one of the most important, because in some situations her apology is enough, but most often you need your partner to do something for you as you want it, and to continue to do so. And words alone are clearly not enough here, otherwise she may simply deceive you and begin to manipulate you herself. If you want to learn even more secrets on seducing girls, subscribe to my VKontakte page.