How to become brave: tips for becoming a brave and determined person who is not afraid of anything

At all times, courage was considered a positive quality, one of the main virtues, as well as a sign of a spiritually developed personality. There is not a single timid person who, at least once in his life, has not thought about how to become brave and learn to control the feeling of fear. Developing this strong-willed character trait is not an easy task; it requires titanic work and constant work on oneself.

Psychological portrait of a brave man

To become bold and courageous, you need to know what characteristics are inherent in a decisive and self-confident person. A person can be called brave only if he meets the following requirements:

Knows how to keep emotions under control, adequately assesses the situation and is able to make the right decision, relying solely on the voice of reason.
He knows what he wants and does not give up on his goal, even if he has to make certain sacrifices to achieve it.
Responsible for his words and actions.
Ready to fight for the honor and dignity of loved ones.
He soberly assesses his capabilities, but never gives in to difficulties.

A daredevil differs from a coward in that in any situation he does not lose face and does not cave in under the pressure of public opinion. Courage allows you to believe in a bright future, because a courageous person realizes that fate is entirely in his hands.

Changing your social circle

Every day a person interacts with dozens of other members of society. Even if someone thinks about how to become more decisive, his intentions will clash with the intentions of other people. You need to be prepared for this. Everyone’s behavior forms the habit of those around him to perceive him that way. Changing habitual behavior disrupts other people's expectations. Some will like the new status, others will not.

As you change yourself, you will have to change your social circle. This happens naturally when people diverge in goals and cease to understand each other.

When consciously adjusting your personality, it is useful to change your environment yourself. Communication with successful, active, positive and courageous people is the strongest motivating factor. In addition, people you want to be like are great examples. You should not resort to imitation, but in patterns of behavior and forms of thinking you can find useful ideas for implementation on your development path.

It is worth paying attention to the quality component of communication. Speaking your own opinion builds self-confidence

A clearly and loudly voiced opinion makes it clear to others that in front of them is a confident person who is able to defend his point of view.

The Nature of Fear

To develop courage, you first need to conquer your fears, many of which originate in childhood. Severe fear and fear are a response of the nervous system to a situation that forces a person to flee or capitulate to danger. At the same time, the adrenal glands begin to actively produce the hormone cortisol, which provokes severe stress.

Thus, fear is a natural reaction of the body , based on chemical processes in the body and reinforced by the environment, which teaches a person to always be on guard. The ability not to be afraid of anything and not to panic is developed through proper training of consciousness.

Any attempt to hide from a real or perceived threat by burying your head in the sand makes fear stronger. The longer a person searches for an excuse for his cowardice, the more time he will spend panicking about the possible undesirable consequences of a particular situation.

Only by looking into the face of your fear can you find an effective weapon against it.

Causes of insecure behavior

Psychologists advise looking for the root causes of insecurity in childhood memories. The family does not necessarily have to have an authoritarian mother or father who intimidates, punishes or demands a lot from the child. Sometimes it’s enough just to scold him in front of his peers.

Common causes of self-doubt in children:

parents do not support or praise for successes, but they always scold for mistakes;
mom and dad say: “you won’t succeed,” “don’t even try,” “it’s pointless”;
ignore the child's needs and desires;
compared with other children;
a child experiences bullying at school.

Childhood insecurity and low self-esteem often carry over into adulthood, where the already formed personality behaves indecisively and weak-willed. New sources of loss of self-confidence may include:

obsessive anxiety that cannot be controlled;
lack of willpower and motivation;
non-compliance with the invented ideal;
increased emotional sensitivity;
flaws in appearance;
lack of work, doing something you don’t like, or low wages;
unrealized dreams and plans;
lack of talents and abilities;
fixation on past failures;
stress;
absence of a partner or recent separation from him;
fear in any variations;
self-dislike.

Let's look at one of the reasons using a specific example.

In my third year, I found the strength in myself and enrolled in a theater club. At the rehearsal, it seemed to me that everyone was mocking me, images of monsters and monstrosities loomed in my head.

When it was time to join groups, I hid in a corner and thought that none of the guys would offer to join them. My thoughts became darker and darker, I considered myself an ugly person who had no talents or abilities. And in less than a minute I concluded that I hated myself.

And when self-dislike had already eaten me up from the inside, two girls approached with an offer to join them. And then I burst into tears... I just couldn’t stand the internal pressure. After that, I no longer came to rehearsals, quit the activity that I really liked, for which I began to hate myself even more.

Developing self-confidence

In a good way, an arrogant and self-confident person who is not afraid to take responsibility and realizes that he is stronger than circumstances has a much easier life than someone who is captive of fear. Confidence allows you to do bold things . Its development will require a lot of effort, time and self-discipline, but the game is worth the candle.

Modern books on psychology contain many recommendations that allow you to become a fearless person, capable of moving forward in spite of difficulties. In particular, they talk about the importance of faking confidence until it becomes an integral part of character. You can try to deceive your mind by pretending to be a brave daredevil. For example, invite the girl you like on a date, promising yourself not to worry if she refuses.

As soon as you manage to cope with fear, you should consolidate your success with encouragement. It can be expressed both in a material reward (a favorite dish, a bottle of expensive alcohol) and intangible (a visit to the cinema, a country holiday).

Under no circumstances should you allow failures and internal limitations to dictate your terms. Only those who do nothing make no mistakes. It is unlikely that you will be able to become a courageous person without hitting the big time, so you should not be afraid of failures on the path to gaining courage.

Accept Possible Defeat

This has nothing to do with phobias, but rather with martial arts. The one who does nothing makes no mistakes. The one who doesn't play doesn't lose. The one who sits at home under the covers is not afraid. But these are all erroneous conclusions.

In the first case, a person makes the main mistake - he does not live, but exists.
In the second, the person initially loses to everyone.
In the third, cowardice will find you even under the blanket. The first and sixth points seem to contradict each other, but they are in one bundle.

You set yourself up to be positive and said that tomorrow you will win the fight/competition/tournament. Then they imagined defeat. What after that? Nothing, actually. There will be another tournament, you will gain experience and will definitely tear everyone apart.

After defeat, your life will remain the same as it was: family, friends, work, hobbies, and much more. You will not lose anything, in the worst case, you will not receive a bonus.

Leaving your comfort zone

Giving up your usual lifestyle may be anxiety-provoking at first, but it will give you the opportunity to rise above your fears. Performing new actions teaches you to be calmer about surprises, which, in fact, give rise to doubts and fear. Learning how to overcome fear in a specific situation will enable you to demonstrate courage when faced with unexpected circumstances.

A reasonable move beyond the comfort zone into the territory of risk is a necessary condition for personal growth. You need to learn to remove fear when meeting something new. It's worth starting small . For example, approach a stranger on the street with a request.

Everyone has things they just can't do. One is unable to overcome himself and object to a leader whose radical demands run counter to his personal beliefs, the other is afraid to jump with a parachute, although he has long dreamed of it. Sometimes you can get rid of these fears, but sometimes you can’t.

There is clearly no point in over-reflecting on this matter. It happens that the reluctance to be bold is a manifestation of an adaptive model of behavior, when a person simply does not see the point in doing something that causes him fear. You should focus on developing courage in other situations. So, you can first discuss your views with a close friend, and only then express everything to your boss.

The concept of courage and its impact on life

Courage refers to the strong-willed qualities that characterize self-control, along with the concepts of endurance and determination. The definition of courage (or, in other words, bravery) is as follows: this is the ability (innate or developed) of an individual to suppress the instinct of self-preservation and the defensive reaction that manifests itself in fear, decisively controlling one’s consciousness, behavior and actions.

In fact, there is nothing shameful or unusual in the appearance of fear. This is a defense mechanism of the body that occurs regardless of the will and desires of the individual. And just the same, a brave person is one who knows how to maintain composure in any situation, effectively eliminating the manifestation of biological reactions. Courage can and should be developed, because it is this irreplaceable character trait that helps people believe in themselves, decisively move forward, achieving their goals and expanding their horizons of possibilities. It was not without reason that they said in Rus': “The city takes courage,” “Where there is courage, there is victory.” And these proverbs have been fully tested by time and people.

Useful advice from psychologists

Courage is a quality that needs to be developed and constantly maintained, no matter how hard it may be. To go through this difficult path, you should adhere to the following recommendations:

Get ready to work productively on yourself. Achieving the final goal without the right psychological attitude will be very problematic.
Believe in yourself. You need to stop paying attention to other people's opinions and listen to the advice of strangers. You need to learn a lesson from past mistakes and no longer dwell on past failures.
Don't avoid your fears. If a person is afraid to fly on an airplane, one should not ignore flights, but, on the contrary, one should strive to use the services of air carriers as often as possible. After some time, the fear will begin to weaken and then disappear altogether.
Learn to lose. There is nothing wrong with a person admitting and accepting his defeat. This time he was out of work, but next time fortune will definitely smile on him.
Expand your social circle. Establishing contacts with other people eliminates complexes and fears. A sociable person is always associated with courage.
Don't be afraid to take risks. A person who never takes risks, as a rule, lives a boring and monotonous life. Strengthening character and courage often occurs when actions associated with increased production of adrenaline are performed. Extreme activities such as rock climbing and surfing are suitable for this purpose.
Don't put things off for a long time. Nothing kills motivation more than endless promises of doing something next time. You need to act here and now, otherwise there may not be another chance to realize what you have planned in life. A brave person realizes his desires as soon as the opportunity looms before him.
Praise yourself. Any action that results in victory over fear should be rewarded.
Change your image. Confident people are not afraid of change. This applies not only to appearance, but also to life views.

It must be remembered that fear is a normal reaction to the surrounding reality, without which the human race could not survive. Being a daredevil who is not afraid to find himself in the midst of danger may be exciting, but it is extremely risky. Courage that does not go beyond common sense will help you become better and fill gray everyday life with bright colors.

What to avoid

To gain courage and self-confidence, follow three simple rules:

Don't allow yourself to think about a bad outcome. This is not the case, such thoughts are unproductive.
Don't think about past failures. These are the steps that will take you higher. Remember about 801 failed attempts. Failures are steps towards your dreams. One of the following steps will be successful.
Don't listen to those who say you won't succeed. It's worth listening to the person. Ask why he thinks this way. If the arguments are valid, accept the information with gratitude and analyze it to avoid mistakes. You can do it.

Do not allow yourself to remain within the same framework where fears and anxieties drove you. Feel free to go beyond the limits. Break your own inhibitions to become different from within.

Set realistic goals

To gain courage and achieve your goals with confidence, it is important to remain realistic by dreaming big. You need to draw up an action plan, breaking the global goal into several small and quite achievable ones. Break down your fear “piece by piece” and gradually cope with each of them.

For example, if you are afraid to go on rides, but still dream of doing it, you should not immediately go to the highest one that rotates around its axis. Such an adventure can only increase your fear and “discourage” all desire for such entertainment. Choose a smaller and simpler attraction to get used to the new sensations. After such a small step, you can explore higher structures, becoming bolder each time, and then conquer the biggest attraction you have dreamed of.

Let's take the right attitude

It is very important to set yourself up correctly. Maybe this is stupid, but 90% of the results of all affairs and undertakings depend on the mood

You need to gather your courage, stand in front of the mirror and loudly, clearly, looking into your eyes, tell yourself: “I can do it. I will do it. I will succeed. I know how to be brave and courageous, and I will never stray from this path.” And every time doubts and fear creep up, you need to remember that person looking from the mirror and mentally say these words.

How can you become bolder with this? It's quite simple. A person behaves the way he feels. If the mood is for failure, then your behavior with others will be very calm, exciting for yourself, and you yourself will look like small and poor. If you are in a cheerful mood, then you will behave cheerfully with others, joke, flirt and enjoy communication. When is the attitude “I am confident in myself. I can do everything. I’ll do it,” then you feel encouraged, confident, strong, capable of moving mountains. However, attitude alone is not enough.

Learn to trust yourself

The main driving motive should be your beliefs and desires. Often people deliberately choose a weak position in order to attribute their failures to enemies or external circumstances. Some people find it convenient to relax, mope and let everything take its course, give up and not be responsible for their own life. It is much more difficult to set goals, cast aside indecision and achieve what you want, relying not on luck, but on your own strength. To learn to rationally evaluate your actions and get rid of unnecessary doubts, you need to work on yourself.

Don't let others dictate your behavior and manipulate you. Listen to your feelings before making a decision. Indecision in many cases is the result of overprotectiveness of relatives and fear of not fitting into the generally accepted framework. Fear of condemnation leads to the fact that a person resigns himself to the position of a weak and unadapted person. Getting out of this circle is not easy, but it is necessary to do it - give up stereotypes. Get out of your comfort zone and start determining the direction of your life yourself.

Change your look

According to psychologists, brave people are not afraid of any changes. Being conservative today is not accepted. Therefore, those who are interested in how to become bold can be recommended to change their image. You can start with your hairstyle and clothing style. If you feel comfortable in your new look, then you are on the right track. It is possible that you will encounter rejection of the new by those around you. However, these are not your problems, but the people who are accustomed to your old image. Do what you think is right and don’t follow the lead of others. Over time, they will get used to it, and you will notice that their attitude towards you will most likely improve for the better.

Learn simple meditation techniques

Meditation is an approach to training the mind, similar to how fitness is an approach to training the body. In the fight against fear, meditation also plays a big role: it helps to concentrate, calm down and understand why we are actually afraid of something.

We suggest trying these meditation techniques:

Concentration

Concentration meditation involves focusing your attention on one point. This may include following the breath, repeating a single word or mantra, paying close attention to a candle flame, or listening to a repeating gong. Since focusing the mind is difficult, you can start the practice with just a few minutes and then work up to a longer duration.

In this form of meditation, you refocus your awareness on a chosen object whenever you notice yourself getting distracted. Instead of chasing random thoughts, you simply let them go. Thanks to this, your ability to concentrate improves, and you can use it at the moment when you are afraid of something.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness meditation encourages you to observe your thoughts. The intention is not to actively reflect or think about how useful they are. The point is to be aware of each mental note as it arises.

When you meditate using mindfulness techniques, you can see how your thoughts and feelings tend to move in certain patterns. Over time, you will become more aware of your own tendency to quickly judge experiences as good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. With this practice, inner balance develops, which is important for dealing with what frightens you.

Where does shyness come from?

Shyness is one of the forms of fear, veiled under certain attitudes in the mind. If a child is scolded in front of friends for some offense, this is deeply imprinted in the subconscious. Another time, when the time comes to act actively, this child will not boldly move forward, he will become timid. He is constrained by subconscious fears of being condemned again. He is afraid that he will be scolded again and will experience the same negative feelings as in childhood. The program is installed. And it doesn’t matter that the child is already 40 years old and it’s time to become at least a little bolder and more decisive.

Answer

And remember, son, if you are not a universal laughing stock, overgrown with legends and a bad reputation, then no one will send you. Do you think that virgins are so self-confident that they will laugh in the face of everyone who dares to meet them? If you don't babble something incoherent and talk like a child in a junior nursery, then no one will laugh. At most, he will answer coldly. To do this, you need, of course, to interest the girl. Again, click on those red words and a magical tab will open with detailed instructions on how to do this.

And in order not to be afraid, remember the words of the brilliant sage who said that our whole life is a game. But we live in a high-tech world, and we have games on computers and consoles. And these games have one great feature - the ability to replay a failed mission. Therefore, treat life the same way: if you fail, there is always a second chance. I refused, I couldn’t interest you - work on your mistakes, on your speech and try again. Not necessarily with the same girl, there are others. Being a virgin at 20 is not shameful. The main thing is don’t turn your life into Bloodborne, that is, don’t complicate it. Treat it more simply, like when playing Call of Duty. According to our observations, life is always on the side of those who don’t particularly care - when you meet, your tension will only repel you.

It is precisely this relaxed attitude that will make you more confident and courageous. By the way, there are red letters again, click on it - there is an excellent article there. If you treat life like a dream that can always be interrupted by waking up, then life becomes less scary. Besides, understand that no one will laugh at you if things don’t work out. This was done only in kindergartens. If you follow our instructions and show your best side, then there will be no problems.

11) Practice self-affirmation

Perfectionism is one of the many pitfalls of human ambition.

Too much of this can take a toll on your mental health and prevent you from moving forward.

Practice perfectionism in a reasonable way to avoid feelings of insecurity. Practice self-affirmation rituals such as journaling and meditation to maintain your momentum.

“Writing a diary is a journey into the interior.” — Christina Baldwin

Know how to say “no”

Remember that you don't owe anything to anyone. Let's say if someone asks you to do something that is contrary to your wishes and morals, refuse. Learn to say a firm “no”, this will prove your individuality and courage. And the best answer to the question is: “Why?” - answer truthfully, without resorting to lies, but also without making excuses. You must teach others to respect your desires and feelings, and then you will achieve a lot. Often, such requests are exactly what brave people are afraid of. After all, sometimes it can be very difficult to refuse a loved one, even if his desire contradicts all accepted norms.

Test: How courageous are you?

To determine masculinity, it is not necessary to seek help from a psychologist. Here you will find a simple test to determine your level of courage. You only need to answer “yes”, “no”, “I don’t know”.

Whenever possible, I like to be the center of attention.
In controversial and conflict situations, I need the support of a loved one.
I make decisions without difficulty.
I am emotional and sensitive.
Authority is important to me.
I like to take care of my appearance.
Basically I act according to circumstances, I practically do not rely on feelings.
Sometimes I allow myself to flirt with girls.
I have willpower and character in my actions.
I carry a mirror in my bag all the time.
I am characterized by rancor and vindictiveness.
I have difficulty controlling myself in difficult situations.
I'm romantic.
I inherited my father's character.

For each answer “yes” to odd-numbered questions and “no” to even-numbered questions, you receive 10 points. “I don’t know”—5 points.

100-150 points. Psychologically, you are a model man. Decisive, independent, independent. You are able to come to the rescue and set life goals. Many people like your lifestyle. You are characterized by a certain schematic action and stereotypical thinking regarding gender issues and personal masculinity.

50-99 points. You are capable of exhibiting both truly masculine qualities and typically feminine ones. You combine determination, sensitivity and common sense. Sometimes, due to life situations, you have to do things that are typical for women. But your ability to adapt and mental flexibility helps at any moment.

Less than 49 points. Psychologically, you are 100% female. In the modern world, this type of man is quite rare.

In life, it takes a lot of courage to be human and maintain your dignity.
V. Zubkov

Scientists on the formation of self-esteem

Scientists have studied the issue of developing self-esteem. They found that it is closely related to self-esteem, discipline and the ability to control oneself.

The main role is played by the factor: does a person complete things right away or prefers to put them off again and again.

In psychology, such regular postponement of tasks is called constant procrastination syndrome, or procrastination syndrome.

The person himself constantly evaluates everything he does. At times he feels successful and evaluates himself accordingly, because, to his own satisfaction, he accomplished everything he planned. At other times, he is completely dissatisfied with himself because he managed to do so little in a day.

A lot of things are put off until later because I don’t really want to deal with some unpleasant things. And the more such postponements, the lower self-confidence, because a person does not notice how he blames himself for this very postponement.

Therefore, I study deeply the issue of self-discipline. You can't go anywhere without this. And with this all doors open. Including doors inside yourself.

Get to know yourself better

Set aside an evening for a heart-to-heart conversation with yourself.
Ask yourself questions that will help you understand yourself better: “What do I consider important?”, “What am I afraid of?”, “What do I want to achieve?” Record your answers on paper to get a complete picture of what causes your feelings and emotions. And then describe what you already have in order to become bolder. For example, a goal, a great desire, character traits, support, motivation. Also describe what you will need to become bolder. For example, you are afraid to communicate with people. You think it's important to overcome this fear because you want to make friends. Shyness and lack of experience prevent you from doing this. They need to be defeated: learn to be more open and assertive, and even interact with people more often.

When you describe such a “strategy” for dealing with fear, based on an analysis of your personality, it is much easier to achieve your goal.

Courageous guys

People change along with eras. Today, men are gradually losing the dominant qualities characteristic of courage. Almost only women are involved in raising children.

But even among children and teenagers there are those who are courageous beyond their years. Here are some examples:

Evgeny Tabakov, a seven-year-old boy saved his sister from a rapist. She and Yana, 12 years old, were at home without their parents. The girl opened the door to an unfamiliar man who introduced himself as a postman. He grabbed the careless girl, put a knife to her throat, demanded money from Zhenya, and began to undress Yana. The boy took a knife from the kitchen, hit the criminal in the lower back with it, the girl managed to escape and ran to the neighbors for help. Zhenya did not escape: the man inflicted eight stab wounds on him, incompatible with life. The criminal was detained almost immediately; he was unable to escape due to his wound and blood loss. The boy was posthumously awarded the Order of Courage. And later, a monument in honor of Zhenya was unveiled in the school yard.
2008, in New Zealand, 18-year-old Peter Hanne saved a truck driver. The car was balancing on the edge of a cliff, a young man climbed between the cab and the trailer, broke the rear window, and pulled out the injured driver. In 2011, Peter was awarded the medal "For Bravery".
2013, in the city of Bryansk, 22-year-old Alexander Skvortsov saved a woman and seven children from a fire. The father of the family went to work early in the morning, locking the door. After some time, a fire suddenly started. Everyone hurried to the exit, the door was locked, and the spare keys were in the room, which was already on fire. The guy was not at a loss, broke out the window, helped the mother get out, and then began handing her the children. When he was getting out, a gas cylinder exploded and Alexander received minor burns to his head.

Despite such a young age, these guys had the strength to come to the rescue in difficult times. It's a shame that not everyone survived.

Understand what's stopping you

Before answering this question for yourself, you should understand what exactly prevents you from being decisive and self-confident. It is necessary to carefully analyze all the motives of behavior when there is a retreat at those moments when you need to take a decisive step.

Low self-esteem. It is based on the fear of criticism of decisions from outside, ridicule. There is a constant fear of doing something wrong, of making a mistake.
When faced with a problem, even not a very complex one, there is a desire to let everything take its course, expecting that the problem will be solved by someone else or that it will resolve itself.
There is a thought in the subconscious that it is really impossible to do anything right. This feeling was born in childhood, when adults instilled in the child that any action or decision he made on his own was wrong.

From this childhood feeling of the wrongness of one’s actions, another feeling develops: everyone around is doing everything right, only your actions are absolutely wrong and lead to irreparable consequences. Such sensations can lead to some serious neurosis. How to become a decisive person in this case will be suggested by some tips that will allow you to rectify the situation if you follow them.

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