Most likely, it will not be a secret to you that usually self-confident men are much more successful in all areas of life than those who were unable to overcome some fears and complexes. If you belong to the second type, then you should not think that everything is lost - you may well gain self-confidence and set off to conquer cherished heights.
Causes of self-doubt in men
So, where should you look for the origins of your insecurity?
Upbringing.
Most often, men's lack of self-confidence is precisely the result of upbringing - it comes from childhood. It often forms in preschool age, when parents begin to loudly compare their child with his more skilled peer: “But Petya never gives his mother any trouble!”, “Misha can already count to ten, but you can’t yet!” etc. Such behavior on the part of the father or mother often provides their child with a whole baggage of problems - he gradually develops a loser complex, which he eventually transfers into adolescence, and then into adulthood.
Appearance.
Some men are unhappy with their appearance, and as a result, this develops into serious self-doubt. We can talk about uneven teeth, emerging baldness, body features, or some external defects.
Weak potency.
Weak potency and other problems of a sexual nature are often the cause of self-doubt. The realization that a partner may be seriously dissatisfied unsettles many men.
Goals are too high.
It also happens that a man develops low self-esteem if he sets too high and, at times, simply unattainable goals for himself. Having not achieved the task, he begins to feel dissatisfied, this, of course, lowers his self-confidence.
Practical advice
To be a confident and determined man, you need to not dwell on problems, but develop.
Realize yourself in sports
This advice is especially useful for those who are overweight and want to change their appearance.
First you need to buy a gym membership. Don't turn training into a routine. Set goals for yourself and confidently move towards achieving them. For example, you can promise yourself to complete one of the standards by a specific date. This will be a kind of incentive to work even harder. Fulfilling promises will give you joy and satisfaction from conquering yourself and will add confidence.
If for medical reasons you cannot play sports, replace it with a hobby or even work. Such achievements will also help you become more confident.
Never compare yourself to someone more successful
There are no identical people in the world. And that's a fact. Some are better, others are worse. But many people compare themselves with others. This applies to all areas: career, appearance, achievements in sports, family. As a result, some even develop depression.
A simple rule will help you raise your self-esteem and avoid endless comparisons: you can only look back at yourself in the past. Men need to improve their lives in every direction, to become better than they were last year, month or hour ago. This is the only way to see progress, as well as notice and correct mistakes.
There is no need to blame or blame yourself for anything.
Even if something didn’t work out, men shouldn’t blame themselves for it. Failures happen to more successful people too. Blaming and demeaning statements are a direct path to poor self-esteem.
A confident man does not talk about himself in a negative way and does not allow others to do so.
Accept and agree with praise
Men with low self-esteem cannot do this. They deliberately underestimate their achievements and devalue their character strengths. You can correct the situation without giving up praise. Needless to say, it is not deserved and the achievement is worthless. You need to thank for the nice words and show confidence that everything worked out. This is what self-confident and successful people do.
Read, listen to audiobooks and audio trainings
We need any information about increasing self-esteem and self-confidence. It doesn't matter in what form it is served. If even a small part is deposited in a man’s subconscious, his life will noticeably improve. First, others will see changes in behavior and attitude towards themselves. And then they will also behave differently.
Stop communicating with unlucky people, eternal complainers
People who are always dissatisfied with their lives are not the best circle of friends. This includes those who blame others for their failures and constantly complain. Friends should give positivity, encourage success, and rejoice in achievements. By communicating with them, a man will increase his self-esteem and become just as confident and cheerful.
Record your achievements and victories
We are not talking about something global. You can record even seemingly insignificant achievements in your diary. Did you manage to overcome your fear of heights and jump with a parachute? Plus one victory. Did you manage to cook a complex dish? Another plus. Were you able to lift a heavier barbell? This is also an achievement.
Entries are motivation for further achievements. Reading them will improve your mood and make you become even more confident.
Find your strengths and talents
All men have them. The main thing is to recognize. To do this you will need a blank sheet of paper and a pen. You need to write down all your good qualities. Let it be kindness, compassion for animals, the ability to listen or find a common language with young children. You should be as honest as possible. This will help you see yourself from the other side, fall in love, and appreciate your achievements. Uncertainty and low self-esteem will quietly fade into the background.
Find something you like and spend time on it
A man cannot enjoy what he does not like. Also, he will not have satisfaction from unloved work or banal idleness. An interesting hobby will help you realize yourself and develop your personality.
You can do what is beneficial. For example, many men begin volunteering to help disadvantaged people. Awareness of your own importance will give you self-confidence and increase self-esteem.
Decide everything for yourself and manage your life as you see fit
Low self-esteem forces you to always listen to outside opinions. Often a person is subject to prejudice and worries about what others think about him. We need to correct the situation as quickly as possible.
Make decisions based on your desires, knowledge and preferences. Don't look for approval even from family members. Dependence on other people's opinions is a direct path to insecurity. A confident man relies solely on himself.
An insecure and a confident man - what's the difference?
First, let's determine what an insecure man looks like and how he behaves? Let’s also “take a closer look” at a confident man.
Unsure man
A young man with low self-esteem often approaches everything with a high degree of skepticism, and sometimes even with hostility. It is not easy for him to maintain relationships with fellow students and colleagues, as well as with his partner. Most often, on a subconscious level, they choose similar women, which then, in turn, negatively affects the upbringing of their common children.
Often insecure men have a rather sloppy appearance and generally look unkempt. However, there are also those with low self-esteem who try in every possible way to disguise this feature, and therefore are overly scrupulous about their own appearance.
It is not easy for such people to make friends. Also, conflicts often occur in their family life. When a person feels insecure, he tends to blame others for his failures and mistakes. A man with low self-esteem is most often uncommunicative and withdrawn into himself. He is often subject to other people's opinions and influence.
Confident man
What image of a self-confident man has developed in modern society? Such a man will not allow fear to interfere with his success. It may be about the fear of being rejected, making a mistake, or receiving a new reprimand. All these fears force insecure young people to stay away, but a self-confident representative of the stronger half of humanity understands that living in fear means not taking advantage of the opportunities that life gives. Such cowardice can negatively affect a career, love relationships, friendships, and simply morale. A man who does not suffer from low self-esteem realizes that fear can appear at any moment, but at the same time he knows how to overcome this “enemy.” He will not live only in his own comfort zone - he is no stranger to taking risks and exploring uncharted territories.
He also won't do anything to please anyone. You've probably seen young people who go astray from their intended path in order to satisfy, for example, a girl's whim. A mature man will not do this - if he has chosen a certain path and understands that it can bring good results in the future, he will continue the business. He monitors his health, plays sports, develops, expanding his knowledge in areas that seem interesting or promising to him.
A self-confident man does not look for an “ideal partner”, thereby following the lead of some of his complexes. He initially understands that women, like men, have not only strengths, but also weaknesses, shortcomings, and fears. He allows a woman to be weak and does not require her to live up to his expectations.
Characteristic signs of underestimation
- A man constantly humiliates himself and underestimates his strength. His girlfriend may hear such phrases as “I’m not worthy of you,” “you need someone better than me,” “you deserve better.”
- A guy may often criticize his partner. It's actually a projection of his insecurities.
- It seems that this man is perfect. In fact, this is an attempt to convince everyone, including yourself, of this phenomenon. In reality, this is a way to disguise one's inadequacy.
- A young man is almost always in a pessimistic mood. He is unable to see good things, everything seems gray.
- An insecure guy will probably be jealous of his partner. And all because he has low self-esteem, because of this he is not able to trust his girlfriend.
- Such a person is afraid to take responsibility.
- Lack of career growth, lack of ambition.
How to increase self-confidence
To boost your self-confidence, follow some effective tips.
Don't make a fuss
It is important to avoid fuss and haste - they can only be justified in the most urgent cases, and such situations rarely happen in life. It is necessary to develop resistance to stress. Find time every day to relax and disconnect from all thoughts, at least for a few minutes.
Get Organized
Make plans, be organized, plan ahead. You must clearly understand where you are now, where you want to be, and what needs to be done to achieve this. Don't let situations take their course, don't leave them to chance.
Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed, and understand that this is normal—don't be afraid of the unexpected. If possible, foresee in advance all possible developments of a particular situation, analyze what is best to do in case of a particular outcome. In this case, “unpleasant surprises” will be minimized
Set yourself achievable goals
Completing the tasks you set for yourself will help you gain self-confidence. They can be very simple or a little more complicated, but the main thing is to initially understand that they are quite achievable. An example would be cooking some interesting dish, mastering snowboarding, attending sports training, and so on. Once you complete a task, reward yourself for it. Don’t forget about your even the smallest achievements - they all become the foundation for building a whole personality.
Simple techniques to increase self-esteem
There are three most popular ways to be more confident. Using them, men will be able to become more decisive, realize themselves in life and simply find happiness.
Find reasons to praise and thank yourself
You need to constantly remind yourself of your virtues, victories, and achievements. Even if it is a very small achievement, for example, general cleaning in the apartment or another workout in the gym, you should still praise yourself for it.
As mentioned above, men can record positive moments on paper and re-read them from time to time.
There is no perfect person in the world and you are no exception.
This is absolutely normal. There is no need to blame yourself for not meeting the fictitious ideals of a man. It is better to spend time on self-education and improvement.
You shouldn’t spread yourself over all areas of your life at once. This will lead to loss of motivation and fatigue. As a result, your mood will worsen. A better option is to focus your energy on achieving heights in one activity.
You also need to draw up an action plan. You can write down your shortcomings and bad character traits on a piece of paper. This way you will clearly see what you need to work on.
Don't forget about incentives.
Find a hobby that will take your mind off the negativity
Think about what activity brings you real pleasure. Maybe the moment has come to make childhood dreams come true? Or do something that your financial situation/status/age, etc. did not previously allow? You need to try everything without fear of making mistakes. This is the only way to become confident.
How to develop your masculine core
So, what qualities can be characterized as the inner male core?
First of all, we are talking about a clearly structured system of one’s own life priorities. It is also important to distinguish between what is important to you and what is not. A man with an inner core is consistent in his thoughts and actions. He does not depend on other people's opinions and assessments.
How to achieve this
- Determine your main life goals, to which other things in your life will be subordinated. Choose your own mission, which will give direction to the development of your inner core.
- Give a significant place in your life to self-development, remembering that there are no obstacles to this goal, but only excuses. Decide for yourself what exactly you want to learn and take action.
- Devote more time to gaining new knowledge, reading, and acquiring practical skills. It is important to constantly learn something in order to develop and move forward.
- Don’t be afraid to gain your own life experience - this is the foundation for your development.
- Only a man can have an inner core, but not a boy. That is why leave all childhood grievances and complaints in the past, stop blaming your family for today’s and past failures, and start building your own life.
Psychologist's advice
In psychology, insecurity is defined as a negative opinion about oneself. To correct the situation, a man needs to work long and hard. Effective advice will help him change his perception of himself.
One of the recommendations concerns the comfort zone. Each man has developed his own routine and habits. Perhaps he is used to eating at night or spending his evenings watching TV with beer and chips. Or maybe he likes to sit at the computer all weekend, conquering the next virtual world.
Often a man does not change anything not because of a lack of desire. He is afraid to leave his comfort zone. But it needs to be done. To begin with, you can try to change yourself and your habits. For example, replace TV and computer games with going to the pool or gym, and night meals with reading an interesting book.
With regular training, a man will be able to leave his comfort zone and remain calm and confident outside of it. He will increase his self-esteem and change the attitude of others.
Another recommendation involves the brain. We are talking about affirmations here. These are short expressions that, when repeated frequently, form a certain image or attitude in the subconscious. They encourage action and lift your spirits. However, the main purpose is to reprogram a person, make him believe in himself.
Affirmations should only be positive. They need to be spoken regularly. Such classes will help you focus on strengths and achievements, forget failures, and become more confident.
It is noteworthy that the woman next to him plays a big role in increasing a man’s self-esteem. Psychologists recommend that female companions adhere to several rules:
- When talking with others, talk about a man only in a positive way.
- Don't compare with others.
- Praise for everything, even the smallest achievements. Show tenderness, smile.
- Create comfort around.
- If possible, come to terms with some shortcomings, for example, socks scattered around the apartment.
Women must remember that their perception of reality, time and logic is different from men's. Therefore, you should not criticize and humiliate a man if his view of things is different.
How to deal with low self-esteem if your environment humiliates you
Firstly, if your environment humiliates you, this is the first reason to change it. Yes, you can fight “against everyone” and try to achieve success, but in the current situation this is hardly possible. You need to distance yourself from people who lower your self-esteem.
It is also useful to spend more time with new acquaintances - sign up for some training or courses, start communicating with new people. If you again encounter humiliation from others, then this is a serious reason to analyze what is the true reason for such an attitude. Most likely, you will not be able to do this without the help of a psychologist. Be sure to make an appointment - do not deprive yourself of the chance to improve your life and overcome your own complexes.
Methods
Sport is the best way to increase self-esteem
- Sports An excellent option for increasing self-confidence and loving yourself. You can go to the gym or do athletics, sign up for football. The main thing is that physical activity will allow you to transform your body, improve your health, and this will have a positive effect on a man being able to feel stronger and more attractive, therefore, his self-esteem will increase significantly.
- Self-development. A person who is engaged in constant learning learns something new, does not sit still, has the opportunity to gain greater knowledge, become more successful and more self-confident.
- Hobby. When a person has a hobby and succeeds in it, this allows him to grow in his own eyes.
- Self-respect. A person must reconsider his priorities, change his own thinking, attitude towards life, towards people. Start to respect yourself and other members of society will be drawn to you, and with them your self-esteem will increase.
- The right partner. Having a girl who will give her man strength and self-confidence, will praise him, admire him, will definitely increase his self-esteem.
